kiss me with your headlights

Things about Golf Ball, BLACKMAIL PURPOSES ONLY!!

1. Hilariously terrible at PE
2. Stupid.

Her face was flushed , red from indescribable anger at her foe. Why did I do that??

Pencil quickly ripped her hand out of Golf Ball’s once the other was on her feet. No longer willing to put up with Golf Ball, she took the initiative to walk away. 

“Wait.” Golf Ball called out. “Ugh.. this is quite.. embarrassing to admit, but I am.. unaware of the nurses office location.” 

Pencil was rendered shocked. The school was rather huge, having five stories and each floor being as large as the next. Not even Pencil had fully explored everything the school had to offer in her four months of attending. However, she expected someone like Golf Ball to have taken the time to memorize the entire building.

She burst out in laughter. “No way you don’t know.” 

“Shut your mouth! I’ve never been clumsy enough to require the nurses care, thus wasting precious memory space to know the whereabouts of the—“

“Okay, okay. I don’t care.” With no teacher in sight and Golf Ball’s pain becoming more obvious by the second, Pencil contemplated doing the civil thing or keeping her pride. 

“ Please. I am in severe pain.” Golf Ball pleaded, doing a miserable job at maintaining her usual snarky tone.

“Fine! But only because I have decency, unlike you. Do not tell this to anyone or I’ll break both of your arms!” The mere thought of her peers thinking she befriended this freak infuriated her more than Golf Ball’s humiliating attempt at throwing a dodgeball. The gesture was purely an excuse to shove Golf Ball down a flight of stairs. 

Golf Ball stifled an insult, simply letting out a huff before trailing behind her. She was either in too much pain to think of an offensive remark or was incredibly desperate to receive aid. Either way, Pencil thanked the gods for shutting her up.

They climbed the steps and walked through what felt like endless corridors. Pencil had an urge to misguide her to the wrong place and laugh in her face. As hilarious as it would be, the power she already had over the other at the moment was satisfying enough for her. 

When they arrived at their destination, Golf Ball barged through the door. Her unmannerly entrance immediately caught the attention of the school’s nurse. 

“I am severely injured!! I require aid right NOW!!” Golf Ball exclaimed. The sight of her arm caused the nurse to hastily treat her. She was led to one of the many hospital beds in the med bay, giant bluish curtains separating each cot. The doctor worked silently, focusing on the imbecile's purposely broken arm. During the process of applying a cast, Pencil took the opportunity to annoy her before leaving. 

“Hope you like the arm. Great work from me, as always.” Pencil quipped from behind a curtain that covered the other girl from view. The glimpse of Golf Ball’s arm and face urged her to puke. 

“Cut the egotistical remarks, Pencil.” Golf Ball retorted. 

“I think I have a right to be a bit self righteous right now, GB.” Pencil said. “No one’s stupid enough to throw themselves down the stairs—“

Golf Ball cut her off with a scoff. “It was necessary ! I needed my precious clubs off my back, and one of the most important regulations of the robotics AND science club is ensuring both arms are functional. Even one arm being unavailable is extremely dangerous and could easily cause an accident, thus by taking one arm out of the picture, I’m able to spend-“

“Blah blah blah! I didn’t ask. I just wanted to remind you how much of an idiot you are. There were plenty of other ways to solve your issue.”

“Oh, and how would you go about it?” Golf Ball inquired from behind the blind. 

“Simple. Hand over the position to me.” She answered. 

Golf Ball huffed in response. “What a preposterous idea. I cannot believe you’re as smart as you are.” 

“What can I say? I can’t just be a pretty face.” Mused Pencil, walking into her nemesis’s view simply to prove a point. 

The other’s face turned into a red hue from infuriation. “Gaslight yourself into as many delusions as you please. I won’t be influenced.”

Pencil’s face darkened. Golf Ball is in no position to criticize anything regarding beauty. “A normal person would agree.”

“Your attempt to receive a compliment from me is adorable.” Mused Golf Ball. She was mocking her. The audacity she had!

Not wanting to be in Golf Ball’s presence any longer, Pencil stomped towards the exit. She got what she wanted, she had no reason to stay. 

The fresh air that softly hit her skin enabled a loud sigh of relief to leave her lips. 

Pencil usually walked home with her longtime best friend, Match. Though considering her prolonged departure, she expected Match to have already gone home. That’s what she would have done, at least. However, to Pencil’s surprise, Match was still outside, leaning against the railing connected to the stone steps that led to the school. She had an incredibly unique appearance that made her stand out. She wore her hair in a tight bun, her cherry coloured mane matching her dark complexion.

“Why haven’t you gone home yet??” Pencil asked. 

Match scoffed. “What kind of friend would I be if I just like, abandoned you? I was the one who sent you back into that hellhole anyway.” 

Oh right. Her initial objective was shoved to the side. “Oh shit! I forgot your brooch, my bad.” Pencil said. Match approached her and released an exasperated sigh. 

“It’s like, fine .” She grabbed the yellow brooch out of her bag. “You took way too long, so after the twenty minute mark I just got it myself.”

“Still— ugh. Won’t happen again.” 

“It better not. If you ever make me wait that long again you’re on your own.” Match quipped. A small smile tainted her face. “Now let’s go. I like, really want to go home.” 

They marched down the steps and crossed the busy street. 

“Why’d you take so long, anyway?” Match inquired. 

Pencil refused to tell her she spent half an hour with Golf Ball. Regardless of the reason, it was uncanny for her to completely forget her objective in favour of her enemy. So she resorted to telling a lie. “A teacher pulled me in to discuss potential universities.” 

It wasn’t a total fib, only it was an interaction that occurred two weeks ago.

Match furrowed her brows. “So you don’t have anything to like, tell me or something?” 

“No.” Pencil replied. “I tell you everything, Match. If my lips are sealed, they are sealed.” 

Uncharacteristically, Match simply hummed in response. Pencil was never fond of silence. 

The unusual behaviour urged Pencil to reach out and ask about the others well-being, question whether she said something wrong. However, emotions and vulnerability were nothing but a burden, and Pencil wasn’t willing to carry that baggage. So she allowed her friend to mope silently. 

Match cleared her throat to ease the awkwardness. “Sorry for your loss, Pence Pence. You totally deserved that win.” 

Pencil furrowed her brows at the reminder of the most humiliating moment of her life. “Ugh, I’ll get over it.” 

“If it helps you feel better, the votes were like, really close.”

“Whatever. I’ll win next year— by then everyone will have learned their lesson. Golf Ball will probably invoke martial law or something.” Match giggled in response, whether or not she knew the definition of martial law was beyond Pencil. 

“Speaking of… I recently found out Blocky and his goons are the reason for your unfair loss.” 

“Ugh, what did they do?” 

“Bubble told me that she overheard them talking about paying some guys to vote for Golf Ball in spite of you.” Match answered. 

Pencil let out a harsh scoff. She was liked by the majority of the school population besides a fair amount of the males, who were probably too queer to recognize her greatness.  

“They’ll suffer the consequences of being complete idiots eventually. Then they’ll cry and regret their stupid decisions.” Pencil replied. “And also— Bubble?” 

Bubble was someone the people in their group weren’t very fond of. They never did anything rash, they simply avoided her. Despite their dismissiveness, Bubble invited herself into the crew and has been a constant annoyance ever since. When Bubble finally noticed Pencil wasn’t a huge fan of her presence, she only hung out with the others when Pencil was absent during lunch periods. 

“Yeah, Bubble . All she does is talk, I can’t like, block out the noise.” Match said. 

Pencil’s house came into view, and it was a sight to behold. Match’s house was a few blocks further from Pencil’s, so she had to continue walking. 

“Bye, Pence Pence! Have a good weekend.” Match exclaimed, hugging her side like a koala bear. Pencil gave her a simple wave and walked towards her house.

She grabbed the house key stored neatly in her backpack and opened the lock, stepping inside the comforting silence of her home. Pencil’s parents worked abroad, so she rarely sees them, nor has she been in contact with them. Pencil could care less, whatever pays the bills. 

Having done all her schoolwork, she slipped out of her school uniform, changed into pajamas, and allowed herself to be absorbed by the warm covers of her bed. 

Pencil dreamed. She dreamt of the day before, reliving the moment she sat patiently at her desk for the results.

Mr. Four entered the classroom with a small box. The box that would confirm her inevitable victory.

“And Pencil is the winner of our student presidential election.” Mr. Four stated blandly. “We will announce the results to the rest of the school in a bit. Ugh.” 

She dismissed her teacher's lack of enthusiasm and trotted towards the podium at the front of her homeroom class. People could feel her newfound power radiating off her person. Her friends cheered, peers gathered outside in the hallway to celebrate, the men groaned in disappointment, their money gone to waste. 

But nothing was more satisfying than the disappointed frown on Golf Ball’s face, the same expression she made when Pencil passed the science test with flying colours four years ago. 

Beating her rival at her own game once again was merely another trophy on the shelf, another achievement to boast about, but it wasn’t any less thrilling. 

“WAAA!!” Golf Ball cried. “How could I lose to someone as egotistical and delusional as you?!”

Pencil leaned against her desk. “Because nothing you do will change the fact I’m better than you.” 

—

Despite the assignment being related to running , a leg activity , Golf Ball was still excused from gym class due to her injured arm. 

When third period concluded, Pencil and Ruby changed out of their gym uniforms and drank every droplet of water in their water bottles. Once the clock hit twelve, they exited the gymnasium and began walking to the second floor, where the cafeteria was located. 

“Don’t you have practice?” Ruby inquired.

“Not today,” Pencil answered. “Coach Pi is going on a date, or whatever. I wasn’t listening.”

“Insert any suggestion you have regarding the improvement of this school in the box below!” Golf Ball bellowed from the other side of the hallway. She stood at the back of a reclinable white table, a pile of papers and a small empty container placed on the pale surface. From the looks of it, no one was interested enough to write any suggestions.

Pencil noticed Ruby eye balling the attraction. “Come on, Ruby, let’s not waste our time.” 

“Aww, but I want a vending machine!!” Ruby cried out. 

“You can get a vending machine when I win next year’s election.” Pencil said, dragging her red haired friend by the arm.

Match, Ice Cube, Bubble, and Book sat around the small circular table. The table wasn’t suitable for eating lunch, but extremely appropriate for entertaining discussions and gossip. Ruby, who trailed alongside her, took the leftover seat between Book and Match.

“Oh, Pencil. I thought you had basketball practice?” Book said. 

“I did. But the coach had other plans today.” Pencil said.

At the sight of Pencil, Bubble hastily packed her belongings and gave her a nervous smile.

“Boi, Pencil..!” Bubble said before departing from the group.

Pencil smiled confidently, sitting in the chair Bubble left behind. 

 “All of you should be grateful. Bubble won’t be annoying you today.” Mused Pencil.

Ice Cube and Book shot each other a subtle glare. Of course, Pencil noticed, she always noticed. Her eye twitched.

“What the fuck is going on?” Pencil asked, not putting in any effort to hide the aggression in her voice. 

Ice Cube nudged Book, only to receive another soft shove in response. When their silent banter concluded, Ice Cube grumbled to herself and began to speak. 

“I don’t know, Bubble is nice, Pencil.” The light haired girl confessed.

Pencil scrunched her face. “ Oh? Where is this coming from?” 

“I know we didn’t like her before, but the more we hung out together the more I— we,” Book gestured to Ice Cube. “Realized that she’s nice company, despite..”

“Being really talkative, and.. chatty.” Ice Cube finished. 

“You can’t be serious— we’ve hated her for years !” Pencil looked to Ruby and Match, her most trustworthy allies at the moment, hoping for some reassurance that she wasn’t just being crazy. But Ruby simply shrugged in response, and Match chose to stare at the grimy floor. 

Pencil felt powerless, humiliated– it was the presidential loss all over again, but this time, it was the people who were supposed to respect her. 

“I forgot something in the gym.” Pencil said, attempting to prevent any trace of vulnerability to slip into her voice. She grabbed her bag and began walking away.

“No you didn’t!! I had gym with you–” Ruby’s voice was quickly lost in the ocean of students. 

With no destination in mind, she kept walking and walking, searching for a place that would bring her peace, but such a place was located only in her abode. However, going home would mean arriving to class late, which would be nothing but a detriment to her report card. She had to pull through. 

People greeted her in the hallways, a gesture she normally would have been thrilled about if it were not for her terrible circumstances. She gave them hasty waves before running towards the bathroom. She had to get herself together, return to the group with a positive attitude, and everything would be forgotten, lost to the fabric of time. 

Pencil rubbed water over face, the liquid dripping down her chin and onto the sink below. She inhaled slowly, attempting to keep her composure. Before she could release a breath, a tall woman cleared her throat. 

“Pencil!” The girl exclaimed. Her cheeks flushed red. “I know it’s not quite Valentine’s, and I don’t know if you have a partner, but…”

Pencil could already foresee what was coming. 

“I’m in love with you!! Please consider me as a partner, if you’re available, of course.” Professed the girl. 

A frustrated sigh left her lips. “ Sorry, I don’t even know you. And, for future reference, maybe find a better place to confess next time. Try a park.” 

Pencil left before the girl could respond. 

Not able to enjoy a moment of tranquility in the bathrooms, she took refuge in an empty classroom at the end of the hallway. Inside were long brown counters that were lined up in two rows. They were too untidy for her own comfort, though it was better than the shame her friends made her feel. She locked the door and sat at a table in the middle of the classroom.

She lost the student presidential election to her enemy due to some scummy men. Her allies have befriended the enemy. She’s had two dishonourable outbursts in the past week. She acted like a coward in front of her friends. Fortune was not on her side. 

As if the universe wanted to confirm her hypothesis, the door shook, the person on the opposite side of the door doing a miserable job at opening the lock. 

“This wasn’t locked before!” A familiar voice exclaimed. 

After several embarrassing attempts, Golf Ball finally managed to barge through the door. The container not even halfway filled was placed lamely underneath her uninjured arm, along with the large table, which Pencil assumed was dragged all the way to this room. 

“ Pencil??”  Golf Ball cried out. “This is the student council room, you do not have the— Wait! you could have opened that door the entire time! ”

“I know,” Pencil replied dryly. “I just enjoy seeing you struggle.” 

Golf Ball paid no mind to her remark. She walked towards one of the counters at the front of the class and threw the white table onto the ground. The container full of papers got the privilege of being treated carefully, being placed gently on the surface. The gray haired girl dumped the papers onto the surface and began to read the contents of each paper. 

Halfway through the pile, the girl spoke, though she did not turn away from the papers in front of her. “Why are you still here?? To boast about the severe lack of submissions?”

“You’re full of yourself if you think I’m here because of you.” Pencil said, the remark causing a scoff to leave the others lips. 

“Be gone, then! Your presence is nothing but a distraction.” Golf Ball ordered. 

Pencil rolled her eyes. “I’m not even doing anything.” 

“Yet you are still nothing but a nuisance,” Golf Ball retorted. 

Pencil jumped out of her chair and aggressively grabbed a few slips of paper from Golf Ball’s pile. Unsurprisingly, the majority of the sheets had dicks and other offensive illustrations scribbled onto them. 

“Being a student president no one likes and having a broken arm must be pretty rough.” Pencil mused. Perhaps her situation wasn’t as terrible as Golf Ball’s, and the thought slightly improved her mood. 

“Nonsense! I am incredibly well liked!” Golf Ball exclaimed, though the tone in her voice made it clear that even she acknowledged her lack of supporters. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Bozo Brainiac.” Pencil said.  “When you finally realize that maybe this job isn’t for you, you can run back to your geeky science club and hand the role to the more appropriate candidate.” 

Golf Ball abruptly grabbed the paper in Pencil’s hands and gave her a scowl. “Cease your ridiculous conjectures! I won that election without foul play— and unlike you, I have the school’s best interest in mind!”

Pencil leaned against the table, not believing her statement for a second. “Oh, and what makes you think that I don’t?” 

“Because I know you.” Golf Ball answered. “You couldn't care less about the students of this school when you possess almost limitless power!” 

“Someone’s been taking notes on me.” Pencil remarked. “Regardless of my actual intentions, you’re telling me you really care about people who don’t care about you? That is undoubtedly the worst lie I’ve ever heard, Bossy Bot.”

Pencil picked up a piece of paper from the stack that read faggot, and waved it around to prove a point. She expected another paragraph’s worth of insults to come out of the other’s mouth, but instead, Golf Ball replied with a small, but evident smile.

“Are you looking out for me, Pencil?” Mused Golf Ball. “You seem quite eager to defend me from our idiotic peers.”

“Someone as smart as you should know you’re nothing but a nuisance in my life.” Pencil responded harshly, ignoring Golf Ball’s remark. “It’s just simple feedback, that’s all.” 

Golf Ball let out a sigh. “There will always be ignorant individuals in this world, I have no power over that. However, you must understand that I was one hundred percent truthful when I stated I wish to change this school, and even the world, for the better .”

The sound of the lunch hour concluding rang loudly outside the halls. Pencil and Golf Ball accidentally caught each other’s gaze as silence hung over the room like a suffocating blanket. The lack of noise should have felt uncomfortable, but instead, it felt like a huge breath of fresh air, a short moment of peace that Pencil had seeked the entire lunch hour with someone she was meant to hate. 

Golf Ball quickly turned her away from Pencil’s view. “This was a productive discussion— indubitably the most productive conversation I’ve had with you. See you later, Pencil.” 

Pencil didn’t bother to respond. She stared intently at the enemy until she became another student in the crowd. 

Pencil was convinced she knew everything. Math, science, how to properly use eyeliner, Golf Ball. Four years they have been battling, and all Pencil ever saw her as was a power hungry, hypercritical, dictatorial geek. But for once, she was proven wrong. Golf Ball was benevolent and good-natured. 

And somehow, that was far worse.