… I confess I really thought that this time, when the cards were down, you might decide to stay. That our strange and inexorable connection might be what you would choose to protect and defend, even if it doesn’t make any sense.
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I tried for so long to figure out if the reason why you left like that was because you cared for me too much, or not enough. It seems to me that two people who feel a normal, reasonable amount of affection for one another wouldn’t have ended up like this. It has to be one or the other, under the circumstances.
But I was fooling myself. I have the answer now, in your silence. Not enough, not enough.
^^^^^^^^^^^ despite how convincing you can be to the contrary, when we’re unobserved. I wasn’t the only one of us who sought the other out at the end of every day…inevitably staying up far too late… always each other’s last “Good night.”
If I didn’t know better, I would’ve even said that I was dear to you, maybe. The lengths you went to in order to earn my trust? Why did you do all of that? It makes no sense, now that I’ve turned out to be the expendable person in your life. It must’ve been a long con, making me believe that I meant something to you.
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From the papers I understand that the Greengrasses generously offered to provide an expansive property in the South of France to add to your assets, and that you’ve taken them up on it, entering into an arrangement with one of their two daughters. I heard you’ve already left England, actually. I miss you. I’m sorry that our complicated relationshbond friendship nearly stood in your way.
-H. Jean Granger
(now a stranger)