Fuck it.
Drinking. That's what Sirius has been up to? He nearly ruins Remus' life and he's drinking?!
James was furious, Sirius didn't seem affected by his fuck up at all. This was unlike Sirius, this was weird and unusual and not Sirius. So when James caught Sirius in the common room again, drunk, he wanted to confront him.
"Sirius what the fuck are you doing?" James said, a bit snappy. "I'm laying down, what does it look like?" Sirius mumbled.
He was laying down, on the couch, in the common room where Remus was supposed to come down any second. Not good.
"Sirius get up, go sober up this isn't like you" James sighed, Sirius sat up. "What so now your such a specialist on me? How would you know this isn't like me?" He said.
"I wouldn't! Because I don't know you anymore, the Sirius I knew would never had done this to his friends!" James snapped as Sirius stood up.
"Well maybe you never really knew me" Sirius spat and it made James heart ache. "Sirius get the fuck out" Came Remus' voice from behind Sirius.
"Why Remus?! This is my house to!" Sirius said, directing his drunken attention to Remus. "Because your drunk and we don't want a fight" Remus said.
"So now you don't want to fight?! What about when I didn't want to fight? What about when I was begging and pleading? This isn't fucking different don't you dare say it is, you lot aren't fucking saints either!" Sirius snapped, Remus was starting to get mad, so was James.
They knew they weren't exactly angels either but in this situation Sirius fucked up, maybe they aren't handling it the right way but sue em, their like 17 and 18.
Remus stalked closer to Sirius, visibly frustrated. "Sirius get out before this escalates." Remus warned and Sirius just scoffed, "Escalates to what? A fight? I know you've been itching for one since you got out of the Infirmary, what's stopping you Moony? To afraid to prove the little blokes in Slytherin right?" Sirius patronized him, Remus damn near blew a fuse.
"Do you not give a fuck about how bad you fucked up!? Do you not care at all!? Your pathetic Black!" Remus damn near shouted, clenching his fists to stop from things getting physical.
James wanted to intervene, but he also knew he didn't want to fight them, he should have intervened.
"No, I fucking don't care! Hit me! Come on, I'm serious I can't feel anything, hit me!" Sirius said, and Remus didn't even think about his words before his fist was flying.
Sirius stumbled back, grinning like a maniac as blood ran down his nose, and he laughed. He was fucking laughing.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why the fuck are you laughing?!" Remus snapped, his breath slightly labored.
"Thanks for the most I've felt in months" Sirius laughed as he simply walked towards the door, Remus scoffed and stormed up stairs, but James wasn't done. He looked at Sirius as he walked, and decided to speak up, "You know, your just like your family, Black through and through." James sneered.
He wasn't expecting to see Sirius turn around, he wasn't expecting to see something break in Sirius' eyes. He was so disgusted with himself for those words, those words spoken to the boy he loved, words he spoke.
He turned around and went up stairs, he was positive Remus heard what he said, he didn't care. He rushed to the bathroom and spilled his guts out into the toilet, he couldn't believe he'd ever say that to Sirius.
Remus walked in the bathroom and kneeled next to him, rubbing his back, a sad expression on his face. "I know James, I know, I'm sorry" He whispered, and James cried.
"We're breaking him Moony" James cried, and Remus sighed, "You can go to him, you don't have to pick my side, I know how you feel for him James." Remus said, and James shook his head.
"I don't want to choose anyone's side! There shouldn't be sides! We're friends were supposed to be friends!" James cried, and Remus made up his mind that he was going to try to make up with Sirius.
Especially with what James and Remus saw of Sirius tonight, he knew Sirius was breaking, they were the only people who could help. "After summer, give me till then and I'll talk with him, we all will" Remus whispered, and he heard James cry of relief and saw his nod.
If only forgiveness was that easy.
...
Summer could not take longer to come, they watched Sirius get worse as they waited, and then they watched the switch in Sirius.
Snape was bothering James, Peter, and Remus. It was annoying and getting aggravating honestly and they just wanted to hex him.
Peter saw Sirius before anyone else, he was just walking by, he had that blank face, it was sad how often he had that face now. "Snape, shut it before I show you how young Black's learn wandless magic." Sirius said so low and quiet as he walked past Snape that James, Remus, and Peter almost didn't hear it.
But it made Snape freeze, which led them to believe they have had more encounters before, very unpleasant encounters.
They didn't know that Sirius knew wandless magic, but they did know Sirius was still on suspension from his wand and so did Snape so it must be true if Snape froze.
No one had time to question, Sirius was already pretty far away, it so strange they didn't have time to process it.
The next time James saw Sirius and Regulus, was 2 nights later in the Astronomy tower.
...