Barty knew he should be glad to bond with his boyfriend’s brother, get to know the family, friends, what not.
Regulus had been making him come to his brothers dorm every two weeks to interact with said brother and friends. And Barty did come, mind you it wasn’t because he necessarily enjoyed because he didn’t really, he came because it pleased Regulus.
Regulus his star, anything for that boy, he truly loved him. The fucker.
And this is how he finds himself in this position. It’s another Thursday evening in the Gryffindor dorms and he’s sitting on Sirius’s bead with Regulus between his legs, his back against Barty’s chest. Barty is slowly carding his fingers through his hair, twisting the hair around his fingers, trying to define Regulus’ hair. Not that it needs to be defined his hair is perfect. Beautiful black curls fan his face. Barty sighs to himself, eyes shining as he looks down at Regulus. He’s so beautiful. Everything about him is perfect, but he might be a little biased.
Barty reluctantly stops admiring Regulus’ hair and starts to pay attention to the conversation at hand.
They are asking questions at each other, a muggle game of sorts, to get to know one another better. Most questions are boring so Barty doesn’t necessarily answer or engage in them. But there are a few that peak his interest and one so happens to come up now.
“What’s your body count?” Remus reads off from the question card. Sirius and James whistle and cheer like the kids they are.
Regulus roles his eyes at this display and Barty can agree to the sediment. But even if Barty isn’t necessarily involved, this pipes his curiosity and he looks up at this, paying attention, curious of the answers.
“Who wants to go first?” Asks James.
“Why don’t we start with you?” Sirius volunteers. James just agrees.
“5.”
5. Surely Barty heard that wrong. What the fuck? That’s so many.
Barty looks around to see if anyone else is reacting to this but no one bats an eye. Well shit Barty did not think James had that in him to be honest. And it lowkey terrifies him. 5 bodies is crazy.
Barty tries to catch Evans eye who’s lying against James chest, his boyfriend, and see if he reacted but he hasn’t said anything. What the hell. He clears his throat in a way that isn’t actually cleaning his throat but just trying to garner attention. Regulus and Evan look at him because they know that sound. Barty kisses Regulus on the head in a gesture to mean nothing to worry about. He then looks back at Evan with wild eyes. He gestures his head slightly to James and sends a questioning look his way. Evan just smiles and nodded his head. Barty wonders how he can be okay with that. At this point he worries for his safely. Again he sends Evan a look that asks if he’s okay and Evan just nods.
Barty tries one more time to express his concern but is me with the same response.
5
“Holy shit” he whispers, not expecting anyone to hear but everyone looks his way.
“What’s that?”
“Just holy shit, Potter that’s insane I didn’t think you had it in you.” Barty responds
Sirius and Remus give him dirty looks. And Regulus looks at him strange.
Then whispered quietly “are you okay ?”
Barty still in shock just nods slightly. Then shakes himself. If no one else seems to be bothered by this he guesses he won’t be the first.
The game moves on and then it’s Sirius’ turn.
Sirius just smirks. “They don’t call me Scary Sirius for nothing. 13”
“Holy shit!”
Everyone’s head turns to Barty. Damn, he must have said that out loud. But it’s honestly absurd. Barty closes his mouth realizing it must have unconsciously slipped open in pure shock.
“Holy fucking shit Black. That’s a lot.”
“Wow” shaking his head in disbelief.
Sirius glares at him and James gives a weak forced chuckle. Regulus swats his leg and tells him off for shaming people. I mean this is a judgment free zone Barty knows it, but still this is crazy that no one else cares. Oh well, Barty knew he was onto some crazy shit but this was just intense.
Remus goes next.
“How many do you have going for you pretty boy?” Sirius says in a sultry voice, leaning over Remus like a cat desperately trying to hint to its owner that it wants to be pet.
Remus pulls him onto his lap and looks at Sirius fondly.
“69.”
Barrys fingers go slack in Regulus’ hair and he wouldn’t be surprised if he could no longer locate his jaw.
“That’s crazy!” He blurts out.
“Holy shit! Holy fucking shit.” He’s laughing now, a hysterical one, voice kind of breaking eyes wide looking around at everyone, trying to understand why they aren’t reacting. He shakes his head at Evan who’s looking at him funny.
Barty mumbles, “wow, just wow.”
Regulus looks up at him eyebrows raised and frown on his face. The look that is given reads ‘have you lost your mind?’
“What’s gotten into you?” He asks.
Barty can’t respond, no intelligent words come to mind, the only thing he thinks is holy shit.
“Holy shit! Holy shit, holy shit” Barty is still saying, apparently the only words his brain can supply, at least lowering in tone.
Everyone is looking at him like he’s gone mad. All acting like this is normal! He hasn’t gone mad, they have gone mad! How can they think he’s the crazy one! That’s an insane amount of bodies to have!
“Wow, that is a lot. That is so many”
Barty looks down into his lap.
Marlene scoffs at Barty and ask, “okay saint give us your number then.”
“You know you all call me crazy, and a psycho.” Barty starts, taking in a deep breath “I’ve been carrying around this guilt for so long, plaguing myself with thoughts of how terrible of a human I am. And you guys call me crazy and sporadic but you have this many bodies! Hypocrites!”
“Just say the number,” Dorcas roles her eyes cutting off Bartys speech.
Barty looks at her hurt, because this is genuinely something that he’s serious about. These people call him crazy and a psycho when they have done so much worse than him. Oh well it’s nice to know he isn’t the only insane one.
“Well if everyone else is confessing I might as well. I’ve taken life 2 times.” Barty says, not expecting much of a reaction as no one else got one.
The room is silent.
“What?!”
Then there’s the sound of everyone shouting and asking questions, all hell breaks loose.
“What the hell are you on about?”
“What the fuck?”
“You’ve killed before?”
“Holy shit!”
“What-“
“What!” Shouts Barty, genuinely confused about everyone’s reacting. “Why are you lot reacting like that? You didn’t say anything when James confessed 5 kills. Or Sirius 13! Let’s not even go into Remus’ 69.”
Regulus smacks him up the head. At some point in this he sat up and Barty didn’t even notice.
“There’s talking about body count you idiot!” He hissed
Barty just stares back at him blankly, “so am I.”
Everyone stares at him.
“What?” He shouts looking around, somehow feeling like he’s missing something. Regulus slaps a hand against his forehead.
“Body counts as in sex you moron, not kills,” Regulus explains.
Oh. Oh. That makes much more sense now. The room still silent. Barty feels his cheeks heating at the unwanted attention everyone is giving him. Well isn’t this awkward.
He hears a laugh and looks over at Remus, who has tears in his eyes from how hard he was trying to keep his laugh in, face red.
Now all the attention turns to Remus, his laugh the spotlight for the eyes to follow.
Evan starts laughing next and Barty can’t help but join him.
“Idiot,” Regulus whispers a smile to his voice as he eventually starts laughing.
One by one people join in on the laughter. Laughter is contagious and the situation is so ridiculous.
“No wonder you acted like a complete dim wit,” Evan says, wiping his eyes on James’s sleeve from how hard he’s been laughing.
“What’s your actual body count?” Dorcas questions.
“21 actually.”
Dorcas nods at this like it’s expected.
It’s not uncommon knowledge that Barty is a beautiful bisexual man and before he got together with the love of his life, star of his eye, the reason he breaths, he was actually a huge whore.
“Wait!” Peter says. And when Barty looks towards where he and the other grifindors are sitting. Peter’s eyes are huge, wide in horror.
“You’ve killed people before?”
Oh yeah that. He forgot that wasn’t the common assumption being made when body count was mentioned.
Barty smiles menacing at Peter, because why not have a little fun while he can.
“Yes I have, and I’m willing to do it again. So don’t fuck with me, my boyfriend or my friends.” He says for good measure.
It’s not an empty threat and everyone knows it. There’s silence. Peter looks terrified.
Regulus is the first to move, rolling his eyes at him fondly as he moves to rest against Barry’s chest. He knows all too well the protective streak Barty has for his loved one and loves him even more because of this. Barty brings his arms around Regulus, and rests them joined together on his stomach.
Sirius looks at them and jumps up, “are you seriously going to sit in the arms of a murdered Reggie?!”
Regulus stiffens slightly at Sirius words, not because he’s afraid of Bart but because he’s still getting used to Sirius caring for him.
“Barty would never hurt me,” he defends. Pushing into Barty more as Barty tightens his arms around Regulus. “Im more worried for you or anyone else on that matter, especially those that try to hurt me.”
“No one would ever hurt you my love,” Barty cuts in, “I’ll make sure of that.” And he would. It’s spoken like a promise because it is.