Chapter 7
Harry slept so hard that it was only the cool contact of skin on his face that roused him the next morning. Lucille's smiling face greets him when he opens his eye blearily. The other is stuffed firmly into the moist pillow.
"Good morning, dear," Lucille speaks in a low tone, her smile turning tender. "Breakfast is getting cold. You wanna get up?"
Harry raises his head a little, his vision half blurry as he looks around, "What?" He's so confused. Where is everyone?
Lucille giggles, "You slept through breakfast. Sirius is taking a shower but everyone else left already. Come on, we don't have much time left."
Harry blinks and pushes himself up, a yawn cracking his jaw. Lucille pulls away to give him space. He rubs the eye that had been buried in the pillow as Lucille continues, "You must have been very tired. Zoey tried to wake you up earlier but you didn't even move. You have a good sleep?"
Harry nods, suddenly feeling a little shaky and utterly ravenous. He clears his throat, his face feeling wet and tight from what must be the wrinkles of the pillow pressed into his skin and, undoubtedly, his drool. "Yeah," Harry croaks, clearing his throat again.
Lucille tsks unhappily, "I think you need more sleep but we can't put everything off today. Come, eat. You need lots of energy."
Harry stands unsteadily but quickly regains his equilibrium. He yawns again as they make their way to the table. A cup of cooling tea with eggs, some kind of meat and toast. Harry is so hungry he's sure he'll be able to polish off the plate.
"Looks good," Harry finally says, sitting down. His stomach cramps harshly in hunger. Harry picks up the fork and half the eggs disappear into his mouth. They're bland without spices but entirely palatable. Harry chases it down with a sip of cold tea, grimacing at the taste a little but it's better than cold coffee.
"Sorry it's cold," Lucille flutters around the kitchen, washing the remains of the breakfast dishes.
"It's okay, Lu," Harry gets out between chews, feeling like the void in his stomach isn't getting filled. "Is good."
"Harry has never been a picky eater," Sirius chimes in, startling Lucille a little from the abrupt entrance. Sirius is freshly showered, his hair still dripping. There's a spot of soap on his temple. "At least, as far as I remember. How'd you sleep, Pup?"
Harry finds the soap amusing and doesn't tell his Godfather about it, "Good. Did you-"
Sirius sits down next to Harry in Zoey's seat and leans in close, not bothering to lower his voice like he normally would, sitting this close, "You owe me another bike, Pup but it's done."
Harry gives Sirius a flat look, "You got lost, didn't you?"
Sirius rears back with a dramatically hurt expression. Lucille bursts into giggles, leaning over the counter a little to muffle them. Harry snorts and Sirius sends Lucille a playful narrow eyed look, "No," he says petulantly. "I don't know what you’re talking about."
Lucille's giggles sober a bit as she says, "He said he accidentally drove his bike into the quarry because he got lost!" At Sirius' betrayed gasp, Lucille cackles like Harry never heard before. He slows his eating to watch Lucille poke fun at Sirius and his Godfather overdramatizing his reactions to get her to laugh. With their conversation yesterday morning in mind, Harry can see just how much Sirius adores Lucille as a friend.
Harry polished off the food and, miraculously, still feels hungry. He downs the last of his tea and ignores his still rumbling stomach as he stands. They both stop their ribbing and Lucille immediately springs forward, "Oh! I have that, Harry." She takes the dishes from Harry and jerks her chin in the direction of the bathroom. "Go have a quick shower. We need to get going."
"Sure," Harry replies as he turns to do as told. He feels pretty nasty, so a shower sounds welcome, regardless of the way the walls like to reach for him. He hears them speak quietly as he eases the door as close to the frame as he can stand.
There are clothes waiting for him when he steps out again. Jeans that are a little too big, his heels completely covered and the belt more of a necessity to keep his arse from being exposed with every step. The shirt is loose but fits more than the pants. He catches himself in the mirror and takes a good look, more expecting than surprised at his reflection. The gaunt planes of his face and neck make the scar ring stand out. There's a healthy growth of whiskers that Harry is happy to see, though patchy and his hair is finally reaching the stage of floppiness that shadows his old hairstyle. Harry knows it's an improvement from where he had been a couple weeks ago. It's still hard to reconcile the him when he got here to the him of now.
Harry's eyes catch on the scar again and leaves the bathroom with his scarf firmly wrapped around his neck.
Lucille is alone at the kitchen table. All the dishes are cleaned and put away. She stands as he steps in, a fake smile plastered on as she approaches to straighten his clothes, "Alright, so," she starts in her nervousness, smoothing the shoulders of his shirt down. It's such a distinct motherly thing to do that Harry recalls that maternal force in his previous life that always made him feel included and loved. "Sirius decided to head down first. Negan and I also came up with a way to do the lottery. He asked if there were any changes you wanted to make before we did this."
Harry shrugs. Even though they had that heart to heart last night, Harry hadn't really expected any immediate results from it. Certainly not when it came to this. Negan had been very upset about Harry's intervention yesterday, needed as it was. Harry trusted Negan to be fair to the people he leads but maybe Negan figured he was being fair. He works with and spends the most time with his Saviors. Of course he would value their lives over those of the workers, he probably spends very little time with them. Lucille, on the other hand, spends more time with the workers. She's spoken with them, worked with them, knows their families and their pasts. It must have been a struggle for her to fight her husband on the order of vaccination and it must have burned a little when he won. Why a lottery to ensure fairness never came up is a mystery but it's there now.
Lucille opens her mouth but a thought strikes and Harry interrupts her without meaning to, "I want to vaccinate the children first."
Relief makes her shoulders drop and she huffs out, "Good. Thank you, Harry. Negan and I… talked about it," Lucille bites her lip, obviously still upset about the mentioned conversation. "We came to the agreement that his Saviors should be protected first because of all the work they do to protect us. So thank you for getting through to him when I couldn't."
Harry feels like she's hiding a lot about their conversation but it's not his place to mention it. He just smiles a little and nods, "Of course. Besides," he adds, his tone turning wry. "It's all in my best interest. You see the way they look at me? I felt like an all-you-can-eat lunch buffet.”
Harry strategically doesn’t mention the incident.
Lucille snorts in amusement, “They certainly tried to treat you like one. Are you okay to go out today?”
No.
"Yes, let's go," Harry nods instead, turning towards the door. "They won't vaccinate themselves, will they?"
"No," Lucille replies quietly. "They won't."
—
When Harry and Lucille finally make it down, Negan already has their makeshift lottery system in place. Workers, Runners and Saviors stand in mixed groups, most talking but some waiting quietly and patiently. The smaller children, Rachel, Erin and likely Jodi are playing some kind of game that only makes sense to them. Harry can't see if Ryan and his father are around. Zoey's teen friends are in their own small group; Darren looks especially sullen but Emilia and Jake seem really interested in what's going on. Zoey, herself, doesn't seem to be around. Everyone is holding a small blue paper and a quick peek into the bucket in Arat's grip shows the same small, rectangular blue papers with numbers on them. Simon hands out the last of the blue slips as Negan finishes explaining the system.
From what Harry gathered from listening, their system is thus: each blue slip of paper holds seven numbers. Since each 'ticket' - as Negan calls them - is in sequential order, he'll call out the last three numbers and the person holding the matching ticket will be vaccinated. Arat makes a show of shaking the bucket around to mix the tickets as Simon dumps the load he has into it. Once Negan finishes, Lucille whispers into his ear and then he amends, "Before we get underway, Harry wishes to vaccinate the children first. Please bring your child forward."
Sirius slips in right behind Harry, finally reappearing. The silent support and safety Sirius brings to this moment allows Harry to relax a little. No one is going to accomplish anything stupid while Sirius is watching and this time, Harry isn’t going to send him away.
"Where's Ryan?" Harry asks Lucille quietly.
Lucille frowns as she squints into the crowd and then shakes her head as she breathes, "I don't know. I'll get someone to check." She turns away to talk to someone just behind her. They leave before Harry can look to see who.
Rachel, Erin and Jodi are very quickly snagged by their respective parents and guided to the front of the crowd. There are many unhappy faces at that but most seem to be approving.
"They're not in any danger! Why do they get to go first?" Someone cries out from the back of the crowd.
Harry snaps his head to look that way but he's not tall enough to see who it was.
"Who said that?" Negan demands, craning his own neck to check. Harry has no doubts the taller man can see very well over the crowd. Rachel and Erin smile up at Harry but their parents suddenly seem very nervous. "Who is the coward that thinks our most vulnerable members of Sanctuary don't deserve to be first!"
Very well said, Harry thinks to himself, noting how the crowd goes very quiet. Then, someone pushes their way forward. The crowd parts a little to let them through, showing a gangly, black Savior. He's very clearly unhappy with the state of events.
"Derek," Negan calls the black man by name, his voice filled with disappointment. Harry thinks Negan isn't really in the position to sound like that when the previous day, his blatant favouritism nearly caused a riot. "Why do you think these kids don't deserve to go first?"
Despite the majority giving him the stink eye and making comments about him, Derek merely sticks his chin out and replies, "They never leave the gates! We have people here that go out everyday and face the very real danger of being infected and dying and now you're spitting in their faces!"
Derek's reasoning has a ripple effect through the crowd. Some who had been disgruntled by his initial outburst were now nodding in agreement. The parents of the children seem to be disturbed by his point and their nervousness over the situation makes them clutch their children harder.
"I'm not doing anything of the sort," Negan snorts loudly, shaking his head. "Harry made the decision to vaccinate them first. Since he's nice enough to vaccinate everyone here regardless of their point balance, I think he gets final say. Wouldn't you?"
Derek turns to Harry, visibly frustrated and asks bluntly, "Why? There is no reason to vaccinate the children immediately!"
It's very clear to Harry that no amount of logical reasoning will make the man back down, so instead he asks, "Have you ever seen a child turn?"
His question silences the low chatter permeating the crowd. Derek blinks in confusion and seems taken aback but answers truthfully, "No but I've seen my fair share of them dying. Why?"
Harry remembers the child he failed. The one that loved his stories and the games they played. If only Harry knew he had healing powers right then, he’d have healed Jimmy and saved him. It haunts Harry when he gives himself time to think about it.
"Jimmy was a little boy I saved in the aftermath of the bombs that hit Atlanta-" there's a wave of murmuring. "-his Mom protected him at the cost of her life and I found him under her corpse. Before I could get him out of the way, a Biter managed to scratch the back of his leg."
Derek's frustration becomes more apparent, "And then you healed him. We get it."
"No, you don't," Harry denies and makes Derek scowl. "At the time, I wasn't aware of my powers. I didn't know the scratch was a bad thing. Do you know how long it took for him to succumb to that scratch?" Harry asks and answers before Derek can. "Two and a half hours. He was barely Erin's size," Harry gestures to the youngest child in Sanctuary. "A fever set in within half an hour and he passed out after an hour and a half. He never woke back up. Two and a half hours, Derek. An adult gets bit? A day, two at most until you turn. A small, insignificant scratch killed Jimmy hours after his Mother gave her life to save him."
Derek seems shaken, his dark skin paling a few shades. Everyone else is talking quietly to each other.
"I agree with you, they don't leave Sanctuary, so they should be fine but it's my healing powers. I'm choosing to vaccinate them first. My choice. Got it?"
Derek very clearly doesn't like it but acquiesces anyway, "Fine."
Negan speaks up then, "Alrighty! Anyone else have a problem? Please, speak up! Delay this shindig for longer! Come on!" He goads, teeth visibly gritting for the scant few seconds he scans the crowd. Then, he brightens and claps, "Good! One last thing! Saviors! As soon as you receive your vaccination, make your way to the gates for your assignments for the week! Community Reps are to head to the war room to receive separate instructions! That's all! Be nice everyone!"
Finally, Harry turns to see Rachel and Erin's confused faces. The third child, Jodi, stares at Harry in wide eyed wonder. Their parents are relieved and no longer as nervous as they had been. Harry smiles at the children and holds out his hands, "Hey. Can you three come here?"
Their parents gently push them forward with encouraging expressions on their faces. They approach, Erin and Rachel placing their hands on his. Jodi glances at Rachel and Erin a few times before offering her hand as well. Though Harry isn't the biggest bloke around, his palms are still bigger than their entire hands. The juxtaposition is jarring and reminds Harry, again, how fragile they are.
"I am going to cast a magical spell of protection on you, okay?" Harry explains soothingly. "It will tickle. Ready?"
Erin's eyes light up, "You have magic? Like Cindy-relli's godmommy?"
“Wow, really?” Jodi asks, her eyes brightening in excitement.
Harry's brain very nearly derails until he recalls the movie Cinderella that Zoey introduced him to. He chuckles, "No, but close. Ready?"
They nod, Rachel seeming more nervous than Erin and Jodi, who are buzzing with excitement over that revelation. Harry feels his magic flow down his arms and seep into the tiny palms encased in his. They burst into giggles, the kind that never fails to bring a smile to people's faces. Harry adds on the good luck charm. Then, he lets them go and says, "There we go, all done."
Erin almost smacks Harry in the face when she throws her other hand out and demands, "Again! Again!!"
“Yeah! Again!” Jodi tries to shove her hand back into his.
"Did the spell work?" Rachel asks with uncertainty, looking at her palm.
"Whoa!" Harry laughs, pushing Erin and Jodi’s arms down as the children's now emotional parents come forward to collect them. "Sorry you two. The spell can only be done once. If it tickled, it worked. Be good now, okay?"
"Thank you," Justina says thickly, clearing her throat as she grabs her daughter's hand.
"Yes," Holly and Poppy reply together, openly crying in relief and happiness. Poppy pulls her daughter to her side and Harry can see the stress of that particular worry evaporating off their shoulders. "Thank you. We can wait our turn but we really appreciate you vaccinating them first."
“I appreciate it more than you can know,” Jodi’s Mother inserts gratefully as she pulls her daughter back into the crowd. “Thank you, thank you.”
Harry nods, even though he didn't vaccinate the children for them. He did it because he was selfish. Though they would have been vaccinated at some point today, Harry can't shake the need to make sure there's zero chance of them ending up like Jimmy. Harry is unsure if he can take that again. Hopefully Ryan can be found so Harry can vaccinate him as well.
Shaking those negative thoughts away, Harry stands and faces the rest of Sanctuary. He allows his magic to flow through his arms to his palms and then looks at Arat, who is still holding the bucket, "Okay, let's get started. Draw two tickets, who gets to go first?"
Arat nods once and her hand disappears into the bucket. She pulls out two tickets and hands them to Lucille. Lucille smiles, clearly excited to get things underway. She calls out the two ticket numbers.
---
After the drama of the morning, the vaccinations went well. Two tickets are drawn at a time; two people come forward to verify their turn and then each take one of Harry's hands. Reactions vary from person to person to the ticklish sensation of vaccination but none seem to be angry or scared about it. Most thank Harry profusely but some have different reactions. A few rolls their eyes as they leave, a couple sneers and one, the priest that read Zia's last rites, seems to experience a religious moment. It really creeped Harry out when it took longer than necessary to extract his hand from the priest's grip.
It only takes a couple of hours to do the majority of Sanctuary. Harry receives a ridiculous amount of information on the health and wellness of each person he vaccinates. Most are perfectly healthy but there are a good number that need healing of some kind, like Tina with her dependence on insulin and Dennis' wife, Margo, who has a broken leg. Almost all of the people that need healing belong in the Worker group and are severely limited on what they can do to earn their keep.
When the last of the crowd is finally vaccinated, Harry's magical levels are very low. There were easily four times more survivors here than there were at the Quarry, making the stark difference in magical prowess all the more obvious. The unsatiated hunger that haunted Harry makes itself known with a vengeance. Though the cramps feel excruciating, Harry ignores it in favour of turning to the remaining unvaccinated; Arat and the few Saviors that volunteered to be last to help guard Harry in case things go south.
"Almost done," Harry says with a crooked grin, proffering his hands to the nearest Savior and Arat.
"Are you okay, Harry?" Lucille asks in deep concern, eyeing his face critically.
"I'm fine," Harry deflects, vaccinating Arat and the yet unnamed Savior. He waves off their thanks and proceeds to vaccinate the other two.
Sirius' hand clamps down on Harry's shoulder, "That's enough for today."
Harry shrugs Sirius' hand off, "Almost done. Then I can rest."
Sirius is very, very unhappy about it but knows from experience that Harry won't be cowed into obeying. He crosses his arms and grits his teeth but says nothing.
The very last is Simon, who had followed Negan to the gates not long after the first few Saviors were vaccinated. Harry wordlessly approaches, his guard, Sirius and Lucille in tow. Simon glances at them, double takes. His dark eyes fall first on Harry and then move beyond him, a dark, eager glint in their depths.
As they stop, Sirius shifts to Harry's left and Simon's eyes finally return to the teen, "What is it?"
Negan is busy coordinating the remaining Saviors that have been vaccinated and thus, doesn't look at them. Harry holds out his hand and says simply, "Your turn."
The bushy moustache crawling over Simon's upper lip quivers as he takes Harry's hand. The moment Simon twitches at the sensation, Harry pulls away, not willing to touch the older man for a second more. There was something about Simon that sets Harry on edge; the teen can't quite put his finger on why. For all appearances, Simon is a decent guy and Harry trusts Negan's judgment… to a point. Simon flexes his hand a few times and then shrugs, "Huh."
Harry turns away without another word, glad the man didn't thank him. He doesn't want Simon's gratitude until he's more sure of the man. Lucille is right there, stepping out from behind Sirius' bulk to reach for Harry, "Okay, Harry. Time to eat and rest."
Harry still has enough energy to at least heal Margo's leg and opens his mouth to protest but Lucille cuts him off with a severe, "No. Not another word. You will come with me back to the house and you will eat and rest. Do I make myself clear?"
Unlike Negan, who Harry is utterly unafraid of and can easily stand up against, Lucille's tone and language makes the teen's jaw snap shut with an audible clack. He subconsciously straightens a little and swallows reflexively, bowing his head. Though the Matron's ghost doesn't quite fit over Lucille, their ability to cow him is nearly the same and he experiences a wave of vertigo powerful enough to drop him to the ground. The White Room's floor flashes into being in front of his eyes and the sensation of the collar activating sends Harry straight into unconsciousness.
—
The first thing Harry is aware of is a small hand holding his. The grip is lax, a little sweaty but familiar. The next thing; his hunger. His stomach, realizing that he's now capable of doing something, cramps pitifully and gurgles loudly. He hears a soft giggle.
"What is it?" A voice asks, sounding somewhat familiar.
"Sounds like an animal got into his tummy," Zoey replies quietly.
There's a dull pain in his other wrist. He feels the familiar sensation of a tube running up his arm a little.
"Did he eat this morning?"
Harry tries really hard to surface. He… he shouldn't be sleeping. What was he doing? How did he get here? He can't rest, he has things to do-!
"I don't know. I left before he woke up. He slept real hard, if that matters."
"Did you try to wake him?"
"Yeah," Zoey replies, squeezing Harry's hand. "A few times. Nothin' crazy, just shaking his shoulder. Calling his name. I don't know how Ma woke him up."
"Hm."
Harry's eyelids open a little, the ceiling a dark, blurry colour. They feel so heavy and they want to close again but Harry forces himself. If Zoey wasn't here, he'd think he was back in the Commune. He turns his mind away so hard, his head physically rolls to the side.
Zoey gasps, "Harry?"
Harry opens his mouth but only a grunt escapes. Gosh, he's in bad shape. What the hell happened?
"Doc! Doc! He's awake!" Zoey cries, standing to throw herself over Harry carelessly in her happiness. Harry grunts again but somehow manages to flop his now free hand over her back.
"Miss Zoey, I ask kindly that you remove yourself-" Zoey is already withdrawing as the other speaks. "-from his person, he's not nearly ready enough for such rough treatment. Thank you. Mister Harry."
Harry blearily opens his eyes and looks at the owner of the voice. Doctor Carson very nearly looms over Harry, his hands already reaching out to check Harry's vitals. Cold fingers dig gently into the underside of his neck and Harry flinches when they brush against the scar.
"How are you feeling, Mister Harry," Carson asks genially as he places two fingers on Harry's wrist and looks at his watch.
Harry licks his chapped lips fruitlessly, as his mouth is even more dry and replies in little more than a croak, "What happened?"
Carson doesn't respond right away, so Zoey pipes up from Harry's other side, "Ma said you fainted!"
I totally did not, Harry thinks mulishly. He passed out. Not fainted. Men don't faint. Pfft.
Carson hums, removing his fingers to place the back of his hand over Harry's forehead and cheeks, "She's right. You overextended yourself and didn't eat enough. Your blood sugar levels dropped dangerously low and you fainted. It's a good thing they got you here. You have a fever," Carson removes his hand and checks the saline level on the bag hanging above Harry's head. There's a second bag there as well, hooked into the same tube feeding into his wrist. Carson nods to himself and looks back down at Harry. "I hear you have quite the reputation for defiance. If I order bed rest for a few days, will you actually listen?"
Harry scowls. Why is everyone trying to get him to rest? Don't they realize how serious the situation is? Don't they know how much work he needs to do? He can't rest. Not now.
Zoey derails those thoughts when she grabs Harry's hand in both of hers and nuzzles it, "I'll make sure of it, Doc. We can watch a bunch of movies and stuff."
Harry turns his scowl on her but Zoey pouts, making him feel guilty. He sighs, giving in to her whims, as usual. "Fine," he rasps out reluctantly.
Carson nods neutrally, "Very well. You'll stay here for the night and tomorrow, if you are feeling better, you can head back up to your residence. Please eat plenty, even if you need to ask for more and rest as often as possible. You need plenty if you want to recover faster. I'll make sure Negan and Lucille are made aware of your dietary needs. Drink plenty of fluids, no alcohol intake, no healing and absolutely no rough housing until I give you a clean bill of health. Understand?"
Harry nods, grimacing. Zoey's worried face makes him feel even more guilty. He didn't mean to worry her like that.
"Good. Miss Zoey," Zoey perks up. "Would you mind running to the commissary and grabbing Harry something light? Fruits, toast, possibly soup if they have any left over."
Zoey hops off her seat, "Sure. If they don't, I'll run up to Ma. She'll make something for him."
"Very good," Carson says to her retreating back. Then, he turns to Harry, "When you feel better, I would like some time to do that check up. I would feel better knowing your baseline so that I can help you more effectively if something like this happens."
Harry just nods tiredly.
"Mister Harry, I wanted to press upon you how close you were to dying," Carson says as he turns to attend something else. "I wasn't kidding when I said it was a good thing they got you here. Had they squabbled any longer over you, you probably wouldn't have made it. Please exercise caution when using your powers so heavily; it takes a huge toll on your body that, frankly, it isn't equipped to handle."
That's when the memories trickle in. Harry sighs when he realizes Lucille accidentally set him off. The woman was so… gentle and maternal and just, plainly and completely opposite of the Matron. So much so that Harry didn't have much trouble being around her. It must have been her tone. Oh no, she's going to be unbearable in her worry. Harry isn't going to be able to do anything because he'll feel so damn bad about causing her more stress.
Bullocks.
Harry sighs, "Alright."
"Good," Carson replies from somewhere else in the room. "Glad to have your cooperation. I will come check on you in a bit."
It's barely a few minutes later when Zoey comes back, toting a tray and Lucille. The blonde woman utters a sound when she sees Harry awake and slips past Zoey to reach him first. There are tears in her eyes and a furrow to her brow, betraying her guilt over the situation.
Shite.
"Oh, thank God!" Lucille utters as her hands hover over him hesitantly. Her fingers shake and flex with her need to touch until she actually does. Then she's leaning over and peppering his face with kisses, "Oh thank goodness you’re okay."
Harry smiles helplessly, eyes closing at the onslaught. Warmth fills his chest at the feeling of her love washing over him. He finds he actually really likes it. She pauses, pulling back a bit in pleased embarrassment, "Oh! Sorry dear. I'm just… so relieved. I was so worried."
"A few days of eating and resting and he'll be right as rain," Carson informs her from wherever he is.
"I'm fine, Lucille," Harry tries to comfort her.
Lucille draws into herself, looking severely unimpressed with him, "I am never believing you when you say that ever again."
Harry doesn't know why that surprises him.
Zoey giggles as she sets the tray on the seat next to the bed, having been patiently waiting for them to finish up, "Ma's onto you, Harry."
Harry scowls at her, making Zoey giggle some more.
Lucille sighs unhappily, "Let's get you sitting up so you can eat. Come on." She and Zoey both help Harry sit up a bit. Harry lets them without a word, knowing arguing about it is just going to get them more worked up. Lucille takes a moment to tuck the ends and edges of the blanket in as Zoey grabs the tray and places it on Harry's lap. A peeled orange, a large bowl of some kind of thick soup and a sandwich. It's a lot of food, more than Harry has seen in one sitting for a long time and he isn't sure if he can eat all of it.
He grabs a slice of the orange, his hand shaking with the effort of bringing it to his mouth to feed himself. The citrus taste explodes in his mouth, almost too much to bear but it's good. Harry can't ever recall eating an orange. He finds it tasty and sweet, if tangy.
Lucille grabs another chair and drags it to the bed, sitting on Harry's unoccupied side. Zoey is in her own seat.
Not wanting to brave the soup just yet, Harry just grabs another piece of orange. The soup smells heavenly, chunks of meat and veggies in a thick brown gravy. The sandwich is most likely a peanut butter and jelly, going by the brown and red smeared on the side.
A thought strikes Harry, "Did you find Ryan?"
Lucille wasn't expecting the question and blinks a few times before she manages to answer, "Yes. His father refused the vaccination for himself and his son. Negan spoke to him about it but he's pretty adamant. I don't know what we're going to do, I don't think it's right for him to risk his son like that over some beliefs he and his late wife shared."
Not another one, Harry whines to himself lamely. Why are people putting religion over their health and safety? Ryan is too small, too vulnerable to Biters, even within Sanctuary. All it takes is one bite, one scratch and that little boy will be gone. He doesn't deserve that. No one does but children, especially, since they can't defend themselves like adults can.
"Eat, Harry, here," Zoey leans forward, grabbing the sandwich to reveal it was cut in half. She hands him the half, making sure he has a hold of it before letting go. Harry gives her a baleful look but receives an aggressive pout for his trouble. Harry sighs and takes a shaky bite.
"I said something light," Carson tsks as he comes back over to check on them.
"This was all they had!" Zoey protests.
"I’m sure Lucille is capable to making some broth-"
"Oh please no broth," Harry pleads without meaning to. "This is fine, really. I don't want broth."
Carson doesn't seem very happy with it, "If you begin to feel nauseous, stop eating immediately and wait until it passes. If it keeps reoccurring, do not eat anymore. This food may be too rich for you right now and I'll not have you make yourself worse."
Harry nods, taking another bite. Harry can't rightly say he ever remembers eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but it's not bad. He can feel his magic processing the food and soothing any potential nausea. Carson eyes Harry skeptically before checking the bags again and leaving.
"You scared me again," Zoey accuses him as he finishes the half. She looks deeply unhappy with him.
Harry sighs. He didn't intend to. He had been watching his magical levels, he didn't go too far. Instead of apologizing as he usually would, he asks, "How's your Savior friends?"
Harry can feel her dissatisfaction at his avoidance, "They are much better now. They wanted me to tell you-"
Harry grimaces, "I don't-"
"No!" Zoey snaps angrily, startling Harry. "Stop that! You fucking saved their lives! It's a big fucking deal! Stop acting like it isn't!"
Harry wasn't expecting that outburst from Zoey. He just stares at her in shock. She stands abruptly, glaring at him, "You stupid asshole! I just got you back! Stop being so stubborn and stupid!"
Harry doesn't even have the chance to reply. Zoey stomps out, steam practically blowing out of her ears. Harry stares after her until she disappears and then turns shocked eyes on Lucille. For the first time, Lucille actively shows her unhappiness, a frown marring her face. And, also for the first time, Lucille doesn't offer her comfort. Instead, she clears her throat and says, "Not how I would have said it but she's right, you know. You keep pushing everyone away when all we want is to pull you closer."
Harry swallows, dropping his eyes to the slowly steaming soup.
"Can I ask why?" Lucille asks quietly.
Harry doesn't really think it's all because of the Matron. She ruined a lot of things but she didn't try to cultivate a real relationship with him, of any kind. It was more like she was trying to mold him into the image of her dead son. Harry shudders to think about the Matron hugging and kissing him like a Mother would.
Like Lucille does.
"It's not that…" Harry starts and falters, not knowing how to explain it. "That I don't… want to be… a… a family with you guys, I just…"
I don't belong here… it's just better for everyone if they don't get attached.
"My parents died when I was little. I… don't even remember them," Harry says instead, feeling like shit for having to lie. "I was shipped off to my next of kin, who were the worst sort. They hated me and resented the fact that they had to care for me, even though they were being paid for it. I… guess I… don't really know what it's like to have a real family."
He only remembers as the parent and Harry can barely even remember that. It's close enough to the truth but it still burns to lie.
Lucille lays her hand on his arm, "We would like to be your family… if you want."
For some reason, Harry feels a thick lump in his throat. It makes his eyes water as he replies, "Okay."
Lucille smiles and leans in, planting a kiss on his temple. "Okay, well, with that behind us," she says, clearing her throat and grabbing the soup. She stirs it as she continues, "I can see you're kind of shaky and it'll be hard for you to eat without making a mess, so…"
The image of Dani fails to shadow Lucille. Harry leans back and nods reluctantly, knowing she's right. Lucille seems happy about his compliance, feeding him the entire bowl of soup. It was beyond delicious and just what he needed to regain a lot of his missed energy. He was surprised to note that he was still a little hungry after, so he ate the rest of the orange and finally felt full.
"Got room for this?" Lucille asks, gesturing to the other half of the sandwich.
Harry shakes his head, "If I do, it won't stay down long."
Lucille tilts her head and grabs it, immediately taking a huge chomp out of it. Harry smiles at her expression of delight. She gives him a look of pleased surprise and says, "I haven't had one of these in years. I forgot how good they are."
"They are," Harry agrees, strategically not mentioning it's the first he remembers ever having. No need to make her feel bad after he finally got her back in a good mood.
Lucille sighs after she's done and stands, tucking the blankets in around him again, "Okay, I suppose I should let you rest. I'll drop by in the morning, hm?"
"Okay," Harry says, keeping his amusement to herself as she continues to put around his bed. She moves everything just so and then, when she has no more things to do, she gives him another kiss on his head and leaves.
Carson comes around almost immediately, "How are you feeling, Mister Harry?"
"Just Harry, please," Harry insists. "I'm feeling much better. You sure I can't-"
"No," Carson denies immediately, checking the bags and nodding to himself. He begins the process of taking out the needle and packing everything up. "If you continue to improve tonight, you can leave in the morning but strict bed rest and plenty of food and fluids for the next few days. You take very good care of Miss Zoey but you neglect to take care of yourself, Mister Harry."
Harry's lips twist unhappily at that. Carson helps him lay back down and after one last look, he leaves, taking the medical supplies with him. Harry sighs as he settles in. He doesn't even think about sneaking out because he knows it will only upset Zoey and Lucille.
Sirius melts out of nowhere like a ghost and if Harry hadn't been expecting a visit from his Godfather, it would have scared the crap out of him. Harry just startles a little from the abrupt entrance but relaxes, "Hey Sir'."
"Don't you hey, Sir' me, Harry," Sirius replies in a low tone, glancing at the direction Carson disappeared to. He pulls the privacy wall over enough to hide his presence and then scowls at Harry.
Harry sighs for what feels like the hundredth time tonight, "Look-"
Sirius holds up his hand. The words get caught in Harry's throat. Sirius studies him for a short time and then sits heavily in the seat Lucille was using. "Pup… Harry," Sirius opens his mouth but closes it, seeming lost on what he wants to say. "When your parents died… it devastated me. I… went utterly mad, looking for that rat, wanting nothing more than to wring his stringy neck with my bare hands. I didn't realize that I essentially abandoned you. I abandoned my Godson for… for nothing."
Harry doesn't know what to say to that.
"When we met again, I thought I could make it up to you somehow," Sirius continues after a long moment, staring at the blanket as he speaks. "I figured I could make up all the horrible years you spent with those…" Sirius grits his teeth, refraining from cussing out the Dursleys. "Give you a home. Tell you about your parents but Dumbledore kept telling me that you needed time and he convinced me that even though you were miserable, you were safe from him. I convinced myself that after the war I can make it up to you. Just a few more months. A few more years… Someday… "
Harry feels numb hearing this. He hadn't known… he knew Sirius wanted to take him but he ended up dying before it could happen. It's just… Harry hadn't known Dumbledore was getting in the way.
"Now here we are. Finally together and finally I can… do something but… you aren't that Harry anymore. You haven't been… in a long time but I just can't help thinking of you like that. That you need me to protect you. You need a better home and people that love you. But you already have all of that here and… as pathetic as it sounds, I can't be a part of that unless you let me in." At Harry's silent confusion, Sirius sucks his teeth and explains quietly, "Harry, you aren't an adult anymore. You aren't the Boy-Who-Lived. You are a teenager that just underwent something greatly traumatic. You don't have to take on the weight of the world and you most certainly don't have to do it alone. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, not if I can help it. So please, Harry, stop pushing me away."
Has he really been pushing everyone away? Is that why it feels like he's constantly fighting with Negan? Is that why Zoey is upset? It's clearly why Lucille is upset but until Sirius said something, it didn't really occur to Harry that, in fact, he was pushing them away.
"I'm sorry, Sir'," Harry whispers, tears falling. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
Sirius sighs, standing to lean over Harry to give him a hug. Harry wraps his arms around his Godfather, unable to help the tears that wet Sirius' shoulder. "Harry, there's nothing wrong with you, okay? Nothing."
"Why then?" Harry pulls back, wiping his face fruitlessly. More tears track his cheeks. "Why can't I…" let people help.
Sirius sits back down, taking Harry's hand and holding it in both hands, "What that bitch did, it was traumatizing. It's still fresh, you still need time to process and move past it but you don't want to talk about it to anyone other than me and that's not healthy. I think you keep pushing us away because of what she did to you. How she controlled you. We're not trying to control you, Harry, we're worried for you."
So his knee jerk reaction to their concern is to push them away because he refuses to be controlled. That makes very good sense, actually. Harry didn't realize that's what he had been doing.
Harry nods, wiping his face with his free hand and gripping Sirius' tightly, "Okay. I'm sorry, Sir'."
Sirius just leans in, planting a kiss on Harry's head just like Lucille, "I'm not mad, it's okay. I know it's a lot of crap in a small period of time but we'll get through this, okay?"
Harry nods, wiping his face again.
Sirius stands, "I'll let you rest. I'll be just outside, okay?"
Harry nods again, seemingly wordless now.
Sirius turns to go but pauses. He looks over his shoulder, looking torn about something and then says, "You know Lily and James wouldn't care if you called someone else Mum and Dad." Harry's throat closes up as he stares at Sirius with wide eyes. "They only wished for you to be happy, no matter what. So do I."
Sirius disappears after that, leaving Harry alone to his thoughts.