Chapter 2
The next morning, Remus woke early. He wanted to do a lot of things before Harry arrived, including eating breakfast, which for the first time in a while his stomach was yearning for. He stumbled down the stairs, rubbing his eyes, and swung open the pantry door.
Dorcas was sitting at the dining table, still in her pyjamas reading ‘Little Women’ and drinking a mug of hot tea. She glanced up at Remus as he walked into the kitchen and started ravenging for breakfast like it was a matter of life or death.
“Mornin’ to you too, Remus,” she said, mid-yawn.
“Ah, Dorcas. Sorry I, uh, I meant to say good morning. I’m stressed.”
“It’s fine.. Why are you stressed, may I ask?”
Remus stared at her, staggered. “What do you mean, why am I stressed? Everything has changed, everything! Plus, we have a child coming later on that we're going to have to raise, us! Raising a child! And you’re not stressed?”
Dorcas smiled sweetly and climbed out of her chair, walking over to him and resting her chin on his shoulder. “Everything is changing, yes, but for the better! Harry is a great little boy, you wanna know how I know? Because he’s James and Lily’s boy, and this is what they wanted. I get why you’re nervous but everything is looking up, plus, you’ve gotten your Sirius back.”
“What?”
“You’ve gotten Sirius back.”
“You didn’t say that-”
“Yes I did. Let me make you tea, also we have bread and eggs, if you’re so hungry make scrambled eggs and toast. We can go to the shop after breakfast, I’ll wake up Marlene if you want.” Dorcas paused in thought for a second, considering, “But it’s best to let her sleep, it can be just you and me.” She lit the stove and placed the kettle on top carefully, and then grabbed a tea bag and mug from the cupboard.
Although not any less stressed, Remus nodded strongly and started pacing. “We should go now, I don’t want to wait. I’m dressed already, if you go up and change quickly, I’ll leave a note in case they wake up and wonder where we are.”
“What about breakfast?”
“I’m sure there's a bakery or something, I can’t cook and that stove has something against me.” Dorcas screwed up her nose, and laughed lightly at him. “It does- spat boiling water all over my hand yesterday.”
She rolled her eyes and started to walk to her room, stopping at the kitchen door. “Fine, I’ll go and change, don't let the vicious teapot attack!”
Once she was out of sight, Remus cautiously turned off the hob and grabbed a piece of paper and pen, scribbling quickly. ‘Remus and Dorcas went to shops for food. Back soon.’ Not his most poetic piece of literature but it sent the message pretty clear. He placed it on the table and took a seat at one of the chairs, trying to read Dorcas’ book from upside down.
Before everything had happened, Remus loved to read. He loved poetry and music, the outdoors, ducks, breakfast, hot chocolate, rainy days when he watched the drops run down windows, collecting vinyl, writing letters. Once James and Lily died and Peter had become a deatheater and Sirius was taken to Azkaban, he didn’t really like anything. Wrong, he liked drowning his problems in cheap vodka and rotting away on the sofa; if those even count as things a person can like.
But now, glancing down at this particular tea stained, dog-eared, spine creased version of ‘Little Women’, he had never wanted to read more. And so he dragged it towards him and opened it to the first page, this was not his first time reading it, of course. In fact, Remus had read this book about 5 times front to back, but it was a start at picking back up a hobby. A small proof that things could be normal again, or even be good again. A feeling that he hadn’t felt in many years, and only felt a spark of when he got the message from Dumbledoor claiming Sirius was innocent, that he may be released. Of course he didn’t think it would be like this; Sirius so distant and changed, the creeping feeling of dread that lived in the pits of his stomach whenever he looked at Sirius, knowing he must resent him a little bit for believing he was the mole while he rotted in jail thinking everyone hated him.
It wasn’t what he ever dreamed it would be, and he dreamt it a lot before.
Once Dorcas appeared back in the kitchen, Marlene was with her and also fully dressed. “Remus, I woke up Marlene so she’s gonna come too, if that's cool?” Marlene was wrapping a red scarf around her neck and pecked Dorcas on the cheek.
“We can’t leave Sirius here alone!”
Marlene scoffed and tucked her hair behind her ears, “God, way to say you didn’t want me to come.” She chewed at her cheek, waiting for Remus to fight back.
Instead, he held up his hands like he was under arrest. “You guys can go, but get me a croissant. And we need food, a lot of it. Maybe cigarettes too, and some vodka?”
“Remus!?”
He looked to the floor, “Please.”
Marlene rolled her eyes and took Dorcas’ hand, they waved their goodbyes and were out the door. Remus felt like crap for doing that, but he couldn’t live without it, especially not with a full moon in two days. His back was already aching and he knew this transformation would be a bad one, the scars had been going deeper. Last month, he would’ve bled out if Marlene didn’t find him in time, and their medical spells were never as good as Ms Pomfrey’s at Hogwarts. Still, he could’ve just asked for paracetamol.
Slumping back into the chair, he tried again at the book. There could be a bookshop in the village, surely. For now, re-reading was fine, though the thought of book shopping was exciting, maybe an activity for later.
-
Everyone had been home for a few hours, the girls had bought a lot of food. I mean, a lot. They hadn't been used to having this amount of money and were definitely excited with it; buying chocolates and jams, pies and pastries, fresh fruit, sugar for tea and coffee. To say they were feeling comfortable would be an understatement.
Remus, Marlene and Dorcas all sat in the living room together, under blankets with the fire crackling eagerly in front of them. Marlene had eaten a full sized pork pie and was now crashed out half asleep, Dorcas stroking her hair delicately. They were all waiting for the same thing, a knock on the door. This, of course, eventually came.
All three of them jumped up and paced over to the front door, Remus’ hand reached to open it and paused briefly, looking at both of the others for affirmation. They both smiled and nodded slightly and he opened the door.
It was scary how much Harry looked like James, the same dark hair and round glasses that sat slightly sideways on his nose. Though, it was obvious he had Lily’s eyes completely. Harry was looking at the floor, standing slightly behind Albus, sort of trying to hide himself.
“Hello Remus, oh and Dorcas and Marlene. Uh, no Sirius?” Before anyone could answer for Sirius’ whereabouts, Dumbledoor waved it off and continued. “It’s good to see you all settled, Harry’s been very excited. Well, he doesn’t seem like it, but you can’t blame him for being shy, I suppose?”
Remus smiled and bent down to Harry’s level, trying to be as least threatening as possible, though the face scars probably weren't helping. “It’s nice to meet you, Harry, I’m Remus. I don’t think I’m scary.” Lie. “You can call me moony though, if you’d prefer?” Harry grinned and reached out to Remus, who scooped him into his arms and carried him through, into the warmth of the house.
“I really must get going, I’m afraid, new students settling in at Hogwarts now it's autumn. You have everything you’ll need, though. I know Harry’s in good hands now.” Albus said, eyes crinkling. Dorcas and Marlene took Harry’s things inside and said their goodbyes to Dumbledoor, once again.
“So Harry,” Remus said, plopping him onto the sofa. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m cold.”
Dorcas laughed softly, “Shall Marlene and I run you a bath? Then I’ll get started on supper, do you like chicken? Or beef, or anything.” She bit back her tongue slightly.
“I like chicken, and bath time.” Marlene entwined her fingers with Dorcas’ and they walked up the stairs to the bathroom. About 30 seconds later, the water started to run and Remus could hear them laughing lightly. Harry’s hands trailed over Remus’ face gently, and he giggled. “We’re matching, Moon. You have scar, like me.”
“Well, isn’t that so! I reckon that means we’re cooler than everyone else.” Harry giggled again quietly and started to fidget with his hands. The floorboards creaked slightly and Remus turned to see Sirius watching them, smiling.
He flushed as his eyes met Remus’, he’d been caught watching them clearly. “I agree, you’re both very cool.” Harry’s head cocked to the side and he glanced at Remus, thoughtfully. “I’m Sirius, it’s nice to finally meet you, Harry.”
“Ah, hello Siri-oos.”
Sirius grinned, widely. “I think Marls and Dorcas have run you a bath.”
Remus paused, “Already, they just went up?”
“Oh uh, I'm not sure.” He fidgeted with his hands, tangling them up into the sleeves of Remus’ sweater. He needed to buy his own clothes, if he could even remember his style, but he couldn't complain wearing Remus’ stuff. Neither could Remus.
“I will go and look and find them and see?” Harry exclaimed, running across the kitchen. How he would find his way, both Sirius and Remus were oblivious to, yet it didn’t seem to affect his confidence.
“He really is James, isn't he?”
Remus cleared his throat, “Yeah, he is.”
“I think we ought to talk, Remus.”
A breath stifled out of Remus as he felt the stabbing pain in his back return. He dropped onto the sofa, his hands trembling. Sirius stared at him, defeated and feeling rather rejected. As soon as Remus caught his look he protested, “I’m, I’m sorry. Yes we should talk, that’s all I’ve wanted to do for years. It’s just, a full moon soon. You know how I get, well actually it’s worse now but-”
“Can I get you anything?”
“No, no. Well, maybe.” Sirius looked puzzled. “In the kitchen, um, Marlene bought some vodka. Can you get that, please?”
His mouth opened a little but he agreed, walking to the kitchen and coming back with the bottle. Remus took a swig, giving no reaction. “Do you drink a lot, Remus?’
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do.” He took another drink. “It helps the pain, and helps not thinking as much. You know, about everything.” Sirius didn’t answer. “God, I’m being ridiculous. I don’t know how lucky I am, you were the one locked up. I’m here, complaining to you about alcoholism and I haven’t even considered how you feel.”
“I feel like I’m dreaming, Remus, like I can’t get too close or I’ll wake up.”
“Me too. Well, I’d be doing some things differently, that’s for sure.”
Sirius looked at him, “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”