Chapter 1
Having to go so long hiding herself, Una hadn’t been close to someone since she left her home planet over 25 years ago now. She hadn’t allowed another woman to touch her since Neera. And seeing her so cold across the table in the cell as she awaited trial stung. She knew she hurt Neera, but she also felt as though Neera had never seen her side. Seen how much she was hurting. That she was too blinded by the wounds she felt from the Federation, and thereby Starfleet, to see how much pain and fear Una was in during those last few years back in the Illyrian colony.
Neera and all those memories and possibilities flooed her mind as she tried to get to sleep. Hours must’ve flitted by, inching closer toward her shift. Part of her pinned for Neera still–familiar and eager…to just slip back into their roles, the tenderness of skin. Seeing her brought up long-kept feelings. But deep down, she knew that love had grown too hardened and it wasn’t even logistically feasible. As her mind started to open to other possibilities, the door chimed for entry. She looked over at the clock on the bedside, startled by the noise.
“Computer, who is it?”
“Lieutenant Commander, La’an Noonien-Singh.” The computer robotically replied.
Una frowned. Nightmares.
“Enter.” She replied.
La’an stood uneasy at her door. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“Actually, you didn’t.” Una waved her over and patted the bed next to her.
“It’s been a really long time since you’ve turned up on my doorstep all hours of the night.” Una teased.
“I know.” La’an replied, shortly. She climbed into bed next to Una and turned away, silently asking Una to hold her. She felt her arms wrap around her just like they had when La’an was a child, rescued from the Gorn shuttle somewhere in deep space.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Una said, brushing a hand through La’an’s hair. She felt the younger woman shake her head.
“What about-a-one mister James T. Kirk? You want to talk about him?” Una grinned. La’an groaned and shoved an extra pillow over her face. “Una!!!” She said, just as she had as an angsty teenager.
“Well, can you blame me? That is one thing you just don’t hide well, La’an. What was that boy's name back on the MLK? Wasn’t it something like…like Spencer.” Una laughed.
“Shut up.” La’an said, though Una could tell she was smiling a little. “I love you.” Una said in a sing-song voice.
“I love you too.” La’an replied through gritted teeth.
“What about you anyway? Haven’t you ever, you know, wanted to be with someone?”
Una twitched a little, uncomfortable, eventually rolling over on her back. La’an twisted around to face her, resting her head on Una's shoulder.
“Well, you know I didn’t feel like that was a good idea. With everything I was concealing. Of course there were some crushes and things like that. But I never really acted on anything.”
“Not even once? Don’t you feel lonely? Want that?” La’an asked, thinking of her own needs, Jim Kirk passing through her mind.
“Well, of course I've felt lonely. So deeply lonely. Even among my closest friends. My family. “ She said, squeezing La’an’s arm on the word, family. “Not being able to share who I was, stories about my childhood…It’s been…awful. I suppose that’s why I did it in the end. Turned myself in. And yes, I’ve been lonely in other ways too.” La’an groaned in feined disgust and rolled over on her back away from Una. “Oh gross!”
“What?! You asked. It’s hard out here! In space, all alone, never letting anyone get too close if you know what I mean…”
“Una!” Una laughed at La’an’s reaction, appreciating their sisterly bond.
“There was someone once. At the Academy. But, I quickly realized that I shouldn’t go there. So really I haven’t been with anyone since…well since I left my home planet.” La’an softened and rolled back toward Una.
“What was their name? The one at the Academy” She asked.
“Well, her name was Amelia. We had connected,” La’an rolled her eyes with a smile around Una’s awkwardness around sex. “And afterward, I panicked. I had a lot of feelings. About N–about the person I had left behind. About opening myself up to someone else. I decided that I didn’t want a relationship that was hollowed out by the lies I had to tell…the self I had to hide. That I could never feel loved like that, knowing that if I showed someone who I really was, they might abandon me, even hate me. And of course I could lose everything with Starfleet. So I broke it off. A week later she was in a shuttle training accident and died. It was awful. But I took it as a sign. Confirmation that I wasn’t meant to have love like that. That I needed to keep to myself. Avoid hurting other people. Avoid breaking my own heart. I just didn’t think I could take someone’s eyes flitting from love to hate, just because they found out I was an Illyrian. So now here I am.”
La’an put her hand over Una’s. Her heart breaking for her. After a few moments of silence, she took a breath and said, “Neera?”
“Wh-what?” Una replied.
“Was it Neera? The person you loved back on your home world?”
“Yes.” Una said quietly.
“I’m sorry, Una. For everything you’ve been through. None of us knowing. Or even guessing how much pain you were in. Covering all that up. Helping all of us–helping me. Loving me. Like you had only so much love to give, not buried in pain.” Una sighed. Relief in being loved and seen for what she had carried.
“Ok, well I am not that destitute!” She joked. “But thank you, La’an. I love you.”
“I love you too.” They paused a while, listening to each other breathe. La’an forgetting about her nightmares and boy troubles, and Una feeling more loved and seen than before.
“I think we should get you a girlfriend.” La’an finally said.
“What?” Una frowned in surprise.
“You do like girls right? That’s what I’m gathering? Neera, Amelia…”
“Oh–oh, well, um yeah but..”
“So we should get you a girlfriend. Now that you’re out! As an Illyrian, I mean.” Una sat up in the bed, a little distressed at the thought.
“La’an, I can’t just get a girlfriend.”
“Why not? People do it all the time.”
“Oh really? Tell that to James.” La’an rose and faced her.
“Don’t change the subject, Una.”
“I can’t. I am too high ranking to be with anyone on the Enterprise. And, well, just because I have this legal asylum I got on a technicality doesn’t mean people are going to accept me, La’an. A lot of people still hate and fear Illyrians. My race is still sealed on my Starfleet record without high clearance. To protect me and to protect Starfleet. The diplomatic ramifications of this could be–” La’an grabbed her hands and stopped her.
“Woah, woah. Ok, I get it. It’s complicated. But we all stood by you. We all love you.”
“Yes but that’s because you don’t have a choice.” La’an frowned in confusion.
“Una we definitely do.”
“No, I just mean. You know me. Someone new? They might not be so understanding. And when is the right time to break that open? First date? Fifth date? The wedding?” Una stood up and walked over to the replicator.
“Strawberries and two hot chocolates.” She looked over at La’an to confirm, and she nodded.
“Look, I’m not trying to stress you out. I just want you to be happy.”
“I know.” Una replied, taking a bite of strawberry and sipping the hot cocoa after to blend the flavors.
“It’s just that, while part of me really, really wants that too, I think it’s just too hard. It would be easier to just stay alone. Maybe it's too late for all of that."
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Four Months Later, Enterprise Conference Room
“The Enterprise will be on a surprisingly long two month mission with the USS Cayuga. It is unusual for Starfleet to pair us with another ship for so long, but, we are grateful for the partnership and the opportunity to blend the crews and get to know each other better. Spice things up! Captain Batel and her crew will intermix with the Enterprise and vice versa. A lot of the time will just be spent in transit to the planet Vralex Five, where will begin a complicated survey of the chemical geology of the planet…A two ship job. Captain Batel, do you have anything to add?”
“No, just that we are all excited to be here. I think we are thinking of it as a bit of a vacation. Spice things up, as Captain Pike said.” She rolled her eyes a little making the other senior staff smirk. “Any questions?” Both captains looked around at their senior staff cluttered around the Enterprise conference room table.
No one spoke.
“Okay then, well, dismissed.”
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A week later, Una sat in the mess hall having a bowl of noodles–an Illyrian recipe. She braved attempting to code it into the replicators, still a little nervous to do something like that. It didn’t quite taste the same, but it was close. Closest to home than she had been in a while. As she ate, she studied Illryian language on her PAAD. Trying now to grow closer to her heritage. Now that she didn’t have to hide so much.
La’an approached her with Marie, clearing her throat to announce their presence–Una hyper focused on her noodles and PAAD. Marie smiled at the scene. Una looked up, noodle dangling out of her mouth, mid-bite, PAAD in one hand, fork in the other.
“Oh,” She mumbled through the food, finishing her bite and setting everything down, smoothing her uniform out awkwardly as she turned to face them.
“Hello. How, um, how can I help you?” She said, feeling a little caught and embarrassed. Thinking she should’ve stayed in her quarters. She often got a little too comfortable when she drilled into things–forgetting where she was, fixated on her work.
La’an concealed a laugh under her smile, Marie seeming to do the same, looking down with a smile.
“Um, I was just telling Captain Batel that we should all sit down for a little drink, or bowl of noodles.” La’an replied, gesturing her chin at Una’s food. Una shifted the bowl closer to her, away from her friends.
“Oh, um, I don’t think you would like these. They’re not, they’re not that good.” Marie came over and sat next to Una at the table.
“They smell good.” She said, raising an eyebrow at Una.
“They look good.” La’an said, taking the other seat.
“Why do I feel like I am being ganged up on?” Una said skeptically.
“Fine. I will go get some for you all to try. It’s a traditional Illyrian noodle dish I tried to program into the replicator. Don’t worry, I labeled it as something else.” She mumbled irritatedly, pushing up from her chair and walking over to a replicator. When she returned with two bowls, Marie closed a hand around her wrist.
“Una, we are honored and glad to share in your traditions. I’m sorry if–I’m sorry. And i’m sorry you still feel like you have to hide.” Una felt heat rise on her neck and cheeks.
“Thank you.” She said sitting. The other two women slowly picked up their forks and gave the noodles a try.
“Mm!” Marie exclaimed. “These are delicious!” La’an nodded through a mouthful in a agreement. Una felt an odd feeling rise up in her chest and smiled. They liked it. They liked her Illyrian food.
“You guys like it?” They nodded.
“I love it.” Marie said, taking another bite.
“Yeah, Una, I’m honestly mad you haven’t fed this to me sooner.” La’an replied. Una rolled her eyes.
“Well wait until you try the real thing. This isn’t even quite as good.” She said. Then, realizing what that might entail, having them try the real thing, she felt shy again and retreated.
“So, La’an said there is something you wanted to talk to me about?”
Una looked confused. “No? I don’t know? Is there?” This time, La’an blushed, putting down her fork and finishing her bite.
Not knowing how else to begin, she blurted out, “Una needs a girlfriend.”
“La’an!” Una said sharply, but hushed, looking around to make sure no one heard.
“Look, she does! Everyone deserves–”
“La’an!” Una exclaimed again.
“Well, she can’t date anyone on the Enterprise because of seniority and..”
Una groaned, slinking back in her chair with her hands over her face, beet red.
Marie sat back softly, a little shocked and embarrassed for Una.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” La’an defended.
“But with the Cayuga here so long, I thought maybe you could help? That you might know who might be both interested and Illryian friendly?”
At this, Una got up, grabbing her PAAD and walking off. Mortified and hollowed. Feeling exposed and upset.
“Una!” La’an said, standing up. Marie grabbed her arm, shaking her head. “Let her go. She needs some space. But I think I can help you.”
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Una felt livid. She didn’t know where to begin, pacing around her quarters, cursing La’an and cursing herself for being vulnerable with her the night she came to her room needing comfort. After a while, she sat on the couch and felt the sting of hot tears pressing up from underneath her eyes and just sobbed.
Eventually, she used her water ration to take a real shower, and tucked into bed early. She had tried to program some plevmkins (another traditional illyrian comfort food) into the replicator and laid in bed with a plate of them, taking dull bites and only noticing the ways in which they were not at all like the ones her mother used to make.
“Pike to Chin-Riley.” She heard over the comm. She rolled her eyes and sighed.
“Yes?”
“Could you come to my quarters please? I need to brief you on something important for the upcoming mission.”
Una groaned. Silently kicking and shaking her fists in the air.
“Commander?”
“Yes, yes. I’ll be there. Give me 15.”
“Understood. Pike out.”
When she arrived at Pikes quarters, she was surprised to see La’an and Marie already there. She was suspicious and scanned the room for others. She crossed her arms at the entrance, not walking in.
“What’s this about?” Pike appeared in the doorway, “Ah! Una, come on in.” He said.
She walked in, still distrusting. “Here, I made some pie.” Strawberry Rhubarb with real vanilla ice cream. Her favorite. Now she was really suspicious.
“Chris, what did they say to you?” She looked him in the eyes with the utmost seriousness and he squirmed looking at Marie. “Here sit down here and we will brief you on the big screen!”
She maintained her terse frown, accepting the plate of pie and icecream and glaring at her counterparts.
“You’re not even going to try it? I just made it!” Chris whined. Una rolled her eyes, dramatically taking a bite and raising her eyebrows at Chris as though to say “There! You happy?”
“Pretty good, right?” Una rolled her eyes again.
“Yes, Chris, it’s delicious, now what do you three want?”
“Well,” Marie said, bringing over a PAAD to control the visuals on the screen above them, “I was thinking about our earlier dinner conversation…” At this Una started to get up, but La’an came around the front of her chair, putting her arms on her shoulders.
“Una, please. It’s just for fun. We just want to help. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”
Una glared, cheeks red. “Well, I am.”
“C’mon, how many romantic debacles have you walked me through. Can’t be more embarrassing than that.” Pike chimed in.
Marie nodded, “Yes, and I should know.” She said, with a sly smile.
“Eat your pie Number One. And let’s find you a girl!” He clapped his hands together.
Una groaned. “The pie,” he gestured. She nodded, taking a bite for comfort and distraction.
“See!” he said, “Pie cures all.”
“Okay,” Marie said, pulling up a crew roster on her PAAD. “I asked the computer to make a list of everyone who self-disclosed attraction to the same-sex/feminine compatible species. So, I thought we could go through them and I could give you the scoop and then maybe you could go on a few dates?”
Una crossed her arms uncomfortably and said nothing.
“Okay, well here we go. Lieutenant Rita Fronter, chief science officer, loves plants, wrote 12 research papers on the value of embracing controversial cultural relations.” The human woman flashed across the screen. She was blonde, curly hair, green eyes. Pretty.
“Next, oh, Doctor Maizie Wentright. She’s actually just visiting the Cayuga. She’s a Federation Citizen from Sarsop Nine. She studies Xenoanthropology and spiritual medicine. She’s an interesting gal. Though I don’t really know her that well.”
“Lieutenant Commander Sarhasth Renou. She can be a little harsh–Rita tells me it's a cultural thing. She is one of our lead security officers. Truthfully, I’ve found it hard to connect with her, so I don't know much more than that. Rita would.”
They flipped through a couple more until Captain Batel’s photo flashed on the screen. She turned red at the sight and almost dropped the PAAD, fumbling with the buttons to click it off.
“Oh! I didn’t filter through these before, uh, before I loaded it up. I forgot that I, uh, had disclosed that. I was trying a dating thing for a while. Wanted to be more, more clear.” She coughed in discomfort. Chris raised his eyebrows in interest and surprise.
“Wish I had known that when we were still together.”
“And comments like that are exactly why we are not.” Batel growled back.
“Oh, Chris! Don’t tell me you screwed that up?” Una turned in her chair.
“Later” Chris said through his teeth, making it clear it was awkward timing.
“What did I say?” Una said, “I thought you were going to do better with this one?”
“Una.” he said, flatly. So she dropped it.
“Well, Um, maybe we should have a party?” La’an asked, trying to break the tension.
“You could invite all those women here…the ones you think might be a good fit for Una, and we could sort of just have a party and see what happens. With three wingmen, surely something will come up.” She shrugged.
Batel and Pike nodded.
“I’ll cook!” Pike said, clapping his hands together again.
They all looked at Una.
“Fine.” She said, resigning. She’d be lying if she wasn’t curious, and a little excited at the idea of being kissed again. “But please for the love of the stars, don’t do anything so obvious it embarasses me and I have to resign from Starfleet from mortification?”
“Cross my heart” Chris replied.
“And hope to die.” Marie smiled.
La’an nodded, “What they said.”
“Ok. I’m going back to my quarters now. And we will talk about this, later” Una said, gesturing between her and Chris and them between him and Marie. Marie rolled her eyes and sighed.
“Just remember, Una, he’s a jackass!”
“Oh, I know!” She said, turning down the hall toward her quarters.
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Three days later, Marie, Pike, and La’an had built a roster for the party.
Dinner was being cooked with the help of some of the other unsuspecting Bridge Crew. Uhura, Ortegas, Chapel, and Spock all gathered around his kitchen preparing. The Cayuga crew were beginning to arrive. Doctor Wentright and Batel showed up together, Marie deciding to accompany her since she was technically a guest on her ship. Lieutenant’s Fronter and Renou came together, including some other Bridge Crew from the Cayuga. La’an entered the quarters with Pelia in tow, going on about some security issue she was the cause of. Doctor M’banga was not far behind, waiting down the hall for Una. He saw her exit the Turbo Lift just after him.
“Hello” He said, kindly. “How are you doing after everything, Commander? It has been a while since we have caught up.”
“Oh fine, Joseph. Still adjusting. A lot to process.”
“I am sure. And how about this party? Not too often two ships get to do a mission this long.”
“Yes. Hopefully it’s not something I come to regret.” Before M’banga could ask anything more, the door to Pike’s quarters chimed open and she gestured an arm out in front of her, allowing the doctor to enter before her.
The quarters were brimming with life and music. The bridge crews comfortable, chatting, and enjoying the new blood.
Una approached Marie, gesturing for a drink. The look on her face said, “what am i doing? Why did I let you all talk me into this? Get me out of here!”
Sensing this, Marie poured her a glass of some kind of jovial cocktail Pike had made and placed a hand on her arm. “Don’t panic. Nothing bad is happening to you…yet.” She winked.
“So, did you call things off with Pike in the end?” Una asked, swirling the umbrella in the drink Marie had poured.
“Masterful.”
“What?” Una asked, confused by her response.
“Your deflection.” She smiled, taking a sip of her own drink.
“Well…to be fair, I am curious. I told him to hang on to you. To not do what he normally does. That I liked you for him.”
“Well, too bad he didn’t seem to like me for him. Or for me. I heard he got frisky with the Prime Minister on Majalous. Among other things.”
“Oh, Chris.” Una put her head in her hands.
“I always wondered why the two of you never hit it off.” Marie questioned. “But I guess now I know why.” She smiled.
“Yeah, not my type.” Una replied.
Marie gestured her glass toward Una in a cheers. “Not your type.”
“Maybe not always yours either?” Una laughed, thinking about Marie’s photo flashing on the screen at the “very important briefing” from the other night.
“Oh god…I’m never going to live that one down, will I?”
Una laughed, “Nope. Not ever.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be out flirting with some hot aliens right now?” La’an came over, interrupting.
“Ugh, La’an, I don’t think I can. I don’t think I know how.”
“Eh, I think you know more than you think.” Marie, looked over at her coyly. La’an looked between them, slightly curious, but moved on quickly to her mission. Operation ‘Get Una Laid’ ew, gross, how about Operation ‘Get Una a Loving Long-Term Relationship with Someone she can Trust’ La’an corrected in her brain.
“Look, we’ve gone to all this trouble, you’ve made it this far so obviously you’re interested…”
“Ugh, fine. Okay fine. But someone has to come with me.”
“We’ll both go!” La’an said, eagerly. Marie nodded a little reluctantly. She was beginning to feel a little less sure about all of this. First, they strolled over to Rita and Sarhasth who were chatting with Christine and M’banga. “Two birds, one rock!” La’an said with a small grin. Una narrowed her eyes at her young friend. “I think you mean stone.” She replied, terse and reluctant. Marie smiled a little, following behind.
“Hello!” La’an exclaimed, upon reaching the group. Chapel and M’banga both looked a little surprised at the security officer’s pleasant demeanor. “I am La’an, Chief Security Officer. This is Commander Una Chin-Riley, and of course you know Captain Batel.” Marie nodded awkwardly and Una, knowing the intent of this meeting, suddenly felt very quiet and self-conscious.
“Lieutenant Fronter was just telling us about some interesting new research she was working on, Una.” Chapel chimed in. “She was actually hoping to talk with you about it.”
The science officer looked a bit nervous, giving a shy smile. She stuck out her hand and Una shook it in greeting. “It is really nice to meet you. Of course everyone in Starfleet has heard so much about you.”
“Oh, thanks. All good things, I hope.” She chuckled awkwardly.
“Oh yes, yeah of course.”
“So what was it you wanted to ask?”
Rita suddenly grew a little uncomfortable and fidgety. “Oh well, maybe now isn’t the best time, I don’t know. I am not sure you’ll really want to talk about it and–”
“She wants to ask you some questions about being Illyrian. For a paper she is working on. She read about your case after gaining special clearance through a research permit.” Sarhasth interrupted.
“Oh.” Una said. For years she longed to be able to be open about being an Illyrian, but now that the topic was out on the table, she wasn’t feeling so eager. She felt a blush rise to her cheeks and knots turn over in her stomach.
“I’m sorry. Renou can be a little…blunt.” She jabbed her fellow crew member with her elbow.
“Ow, what? You told me you were dying to talk to her.”
“Yes, I know but…”
“Excuse me,” Una said finally, “I think Captain Pike is gesturing for me to come over to him. Perhaps another time?” Una smiled, weary.
“Oh, sure, yes. Sorry again, Commander. And don’t worry, I understand the information is confidential. I won’t spread it around.”
“Yes, I think a violation of that sort would result in a court martial, Lieutenant.” Marie chided sternly. “I’d hate to have to put you on trial.”
“Yes, Captain. Sorry.”
Una walked over to Pike without saying anything else. She felt cold and bare and ridiculous. Why did she let them talk her into this. What was she, twelve? Those days were definitely over. As she crossed the room, she saw Pike talking with a group of young Ensigns and Lieutenants, had them laughing and eating up his stories and advice. She decided not to bother them and instead found herself wandering into the kitchen and snacking on some of the appetizers Chris had so dotingly made for the party. For her party. Which she guessed it really was. Funny how things end up. She thought.
After a few beats, Una felt someone approaching the counter, doing the same things she was. Avoiding the party and eating the snacks. She looked over to see her new companion who smiled back at her with soft brown eyes. “Hey,” the sort of eccentric looking woman said. She reminded her a bit of Pelia in that moment…the insult ‘space hippy’ crossed her mind and she smiled. The woman dusted her hand off on her skirt and held it out for Una. “Dr. Wentright, Mazie.”
Una smiled, taking her hand. “Una–”
“Chin-Riley, I know. You’re Starfleet royalty.”
Una sort grew bashful at the statement. “It would seem that way! I don’t actually get to interact with other Starfleet officers much. It seems like they already know my name.”
“Well, knowing someone’s name doesn’t mean a damn thing anyway.” The doctor replied, popping a piece of fried cauliflower in her mouth. “What’s your deal, then?” She continued.
Una smiled and furrowed her brow. “My deal?”
“Yeah, you know, who is Una Chin-Riley, that whole bit.” She said, continuing to snack.
“Um. Well, you promise you can keep a secret?”
“I’m a xenoanthropologist in the 23rd century. I can’t publish half the shit I find out due to ethical violations. So yeah, I can keep a secret.”
Una smiled. “Well, I love Gilbert and Sullivan Musicals, I know most of them by heart and I sing them in the shower.”
“Dark.” Mazie replied, smiling coyly.
“Yeah, I bet you definitely couldn’t publish that. Seems like a huge ethical violation.”
“Yeah,” Mazie grinned. “You’re right. And I wouldn’t want to either.” They both laughed.
Across the room, La’an and Marie saw the two laughing and glanced at each other.
“Looks like she didn’t even need a wingman.” La’an smiled.
“Guess not.” Marie said, a little reserved. “I’m a little tired. I think I’ll turn in.”
“Oh okay, are you alright?” La’an questioned.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I’m just still getting over things with Chris. Thanks for doing all this. Una is lucky to have you.” Marie smiled.
“Yeah, thanks for your help. I mean, honestly, we couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Yeah,” Marie sighed. “No problem, happy to do it.”
“She left her drink on the counter and walked toward the door, looking back at Una and Mazie who seemed like they were really hitting it off. She smiled to herself a little, she was happy that after everything she had heard in the courtroom, which Marie was sure only scratched the surface, Una might have a chance at finding someone who could make her happy. Una looked over and they made eyecontact. Marie gave a small, tired smile. Something else hinting at its corners. Una gave a small confused wave. Why was she leaving?
Marie walked down the hall toward the transporter room so she could head back to her own quarters. As she turned the corner toward the room, she heard heavy footfall behind her and saw, to her surprise, Una trotting over to meet her.
“Hey!” Una smiled, slowing down to stand next to Marie.
“Hey,” Marie smiled back, a little confused. “What are you doing? You’re missing your party, how are you going to get a girlfriend now?”
“I know,” Una rolled her eyes and grinned, laying her hand across her forehead in feigned distress, “Whatever will I do?” They laughed and began walking toward the transporter room together.
“Where are you off to?”
“Oh, just going home. I’m a little tired. And tired of of being in Chris’s quarters watching him be himself…wooing everyone he crosses paths with.”
“Boyscout.” They turned to each other and said at the same time, laughing.
“I’m sorry he was such an ass,” Una said, putting her hand on Marie’s arm and rubbing it softly. “You deserved better. You deserve better! Hell maybe we should pull up some Enterprise crew and throw you a party next week!”
Marie laughed, covering Una’s hand with her own. “Yeah, maybe. Hey, you seemed like you were getting along with Dr. Wentright?”
“Oh, yeah, I think so? She asked if I could take her on a tour of the ship sometime this week. So I guess I will.”
“Una Chin-Riley! Get’s a girlfriend on the first try.” Marie exclaimed. Una laughed.
“Well, I would hardly call that ‘getting a girlfriend’. But thanks. I’m not sold on this whole thing anyway.”
“I’m sorry about Rita, by the way. And that whole thing. I could see you were uncomfortable.”
“Oh, it’s okay.” Una said, looking down at her feet and fidgeting. “Just still feels a little vulnerable, I guess.”
“I understand that. Well, I’m off. You should get back to your xenoanthropologist…maybe she can study you, if you know what I mean.” Marie teased.
“Ugh god, now I know how La’an felt when I was talking to her about all this the first time.” Marie laughed, turning into the transporter room.
“Um, hey, Marie?”
“Yeah?”
“Would you maybe want to watch a movie or something? I’m kind of tired of the party and well, I guess I already have a follow-up with Mazie, so mission accomplished right? So i’m off the hook?”
Marie smiled, “Hmm…I guess you’re off the hook. And on a first name basis with the doc, so sure. You can come over.”
“Great!” Una smiled. “Maybe i’ll just go back to my quarters and change and then beam over?”
“Sure!” Marie grinned, surprised at how happy she was at the prospect of the Commander’s presence in her quarters…in comfy clothes…she felt a blush rush over her cheeks and hopped on the transporter pad to avoid thinking about it any further. Oh god, what should I wear?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marie quickly rushed around her cabin putting stray items away and tidying up. She wasn’t sure why she felt so self conscious all of the sudden. She even had the computer replicate some flowers to put in a vase, stopping for a moment to think of what Una might like. “Something from an Illyrian colony.” She found herself asking the computer, not able to recall the exact planet Una was from. The computer replicated a beautiful white orchid in a decorated pot covered in beads. Not what I was expecting, but okay.
She then ran to her closet, trying to decide what to wear. She rummaged in a dresser drawer looking for something comfortable. But I still want to be cute. Wait, why do I want to be cute?
Before she could think much longer, she heard the chime at the door.
“Fuck, that was fast.” She said aloud to herself, pulling on some academy sweatpants and a burgundy sweater with white specks flitting through it. She ran over to the door, and found herself a little out of breath. She was about to let Una in when she remembered the Orchid sitting in the replicator bay.
“Shit!” She ran back over and grabbed it and set it on the counter, plucking one of the leaves so it looked as though it had been there a long time.
She smoothed out her clothes and brushed a hand threw her hair, trying to calm down.
“Enter.”
Una glided in wearing some black leggings and a black turtle neck with her hair pulled up with a gold hair tie, glinting in the light. She looked beautiful.
Wow. Okay. What is happening to me? You can not rebound with this tender, loving, amazing woman who also happens to be your ex’s best friend. That is a negative, Marie. You’re in a vulnerable place, she's in a vulnerable place, let it go.
“Hey!” She said, after a delay.
“Hey! Thanks for letting me come by. I brought some strawberries. They’re my favorite comfort foo–” She paused mid-sentence looking at the Orchid in its decorative pot. “Oh. Where did you get that?” She asked, seemingly a little defensive and stunned.
Marie tussled her hair, self-conscious. Dammit. Why did I do that? Of course she would notice, and it's probably something you can only find on an illyrian planet. Stupid, stupid!
“Um, I found it.” She said, surprised by her own words. She should’ve just told Una some version of the truth. This made Una smile and raise her eyebrow in skepticism.
“You found it.” She said, crossing her arms.
“Yup.”
“Where?”
“Um, in a market. On Taekal. I traded it, for a phase coil.”
“You traded a Federation standard phase coil for an orchid you found in a market on a planet known for black market trading?”
“Yes?” Marie said, hearing how none of it made sense and would be in direct violation of Federation regulation.
“Marie, I hope you’re a better spontaneous liar on away missions, because that was not good.” Una laughed.
Marie threw her head back and groaned. “Okay, okay. I panicked. I don’t know why. I just wanted to make you comfortable, I guess. You’ve been through so much lately. I just wanted to show you I appreciated you and see how hard you’ve worked and that your heritage matters. And to apologize endlessly for my role in the trial, which I can’t even believe you have seemingly just forgiven me for…No questions asked, no fight, no glares. I mean hell, it feels like Chris was angrier at me than you were. Than you are.” She finished, sitting on the couch, pulling her legs underneath her. Una came over and sat next to her, placing her hand over her knee.
“Hey, its ok. That is really, honestly, very sweet. And I know you didn’t ask to be put on my case and you clearly were doing everything you could to be on my side. As much as any prosecutor could.” She smiled, poking her friend's arm. “I hope that didn’t contribute to you all ending things.” Una said finally.
“What? No, no. It wasn’t that. I mean, I’m sure it helped. But it helped in a good way. Chris and I were never going to last, Una. And he is able to be very protective and consistent with you in a way he can't be with other women. Because you’re best friends. Not lovers. You’re truly his Number One. He told me once when he was drunk you were his soulshipmateinspacetimeandcontinuim, which barely made sense but you get the gist.”
Una laughed and flushed a little with embarrassment. “Wow. Big words.”
“I know!” Marie laughed back.
“So, what exactly did you say to the replicator to get that orchid?”
“Oh, gosh I was in such a hurry I don’t even remember. I think just like, 'flowers native to an Illyrian colony planet' or something, why?”
Una smiled, covering her mouth a little, trying not to laugh.
“What? Why? Una!”
“Well. Because that is a Traditional Illyrian Bridal Orchid. Used in courting gestures between prospective partners.” Marie turned bright red…her whole face and neck flushing.
“Oh. Oh my gosh. Una, um I am so sorry, I didn’t know.” Una burst out laughing with her whole body. Throwing her hands down on Marie’s legs, dying of laughter.
“That explains your face when you walked in…” Marie said, beginning to laugh with her. Una nodded through now painful laughter.
“Yeah, especially after this whole dating nonsense you all have put me through!”
“Oh gosh, Unaaaaa! I’m so sorry. I am not asking you to be my bride, I am so sorry. Here, i’ll get rid of it.” Marie said, washing her hands over her face in dismay.
“No!” Una said, her hand over Marie’s. “I love it. It’s hilarious. I totally want to keep it. Plus it was thoughtful. And it reminds me, in the funniest way, of home. Thank you.”
Marie settled back in her seat, brushing a strand of hair from her face, looking up at Una shyly. Una looked back, blue eyes glinting in the stars outside Marie’s window. Marie felt her breath catch, a blush burning across her cheeks. She turned away, but felt Una’s hand brush through her hair. Silently they sat that way for a moment.
“Una…” At this, she felt the woman’s hand drop immediately and her body shift away, in the direction of the screen. Right, we are supposed to be watching a movie.
“Sorry.” Una said. Marie grabbed her hand and turned her back to face her, this time taking her own hand and brushing it across Una’s face. She watched the pink cross the other woman’s face and felt flustered at the thought that she was making Una Chin-Riley blush.
Una felt a rise of vulnerability in her chest. Wanting simultaneously to dart out of the room and hide forever and to expose herself completely to Marie. Bare herself in every way…almost desperate.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I am…I’m feeling it too. It’s just, stuff with Chris. I’ve been so emotional. And you’re best friends, and I don’t know. I just don’t want to mess things up. Between any of us. And I don’t want to act on something when I may not be in a good place to sustain it, because I care about you, and your Chris’s best friend and he would kill me, and frankly so would I! And La’an would literally kill me. Like end my life.”
Una laughed, “That’s true. She would.”
“Yeah just watch the life leave my eyes as I take my last breath.” They both laughed as Marie feigned being choked.
“Okay, okay. I get it. I’m sorry too. I think i’m just caught up in all this. It has been such a long time since…” She felt herself gaze down at Marie’s pink lips, not noticing herself bite her own bottom lip, teasing it between her teeth.
Marie felt herself lick her lips and swallow in response, breath caught in their throats, attraction pulsing between them.
“Maybe we should watch a movie.” Una said abruptly. It shook them both out of the reverie and they turned to face the screen.
“Right.” Marie responded. “I was thinking a Gilbert and Sullivan? I would love to hear you sing along. I actually know a few songs from The Sorcerer.”
“Do you?” Una turned, surprised.
“Yeah, my dad liked it. He saw it once in some weird theatre on some weird planet and was like obsessed with it after that.” Una laughed at Marie’s description.
“Sounds like you loved it.” She said, sarcastically.
“No, no, I actually do. I would love to watch it with you.” She said, covering Una’s hand again. They both looked down, feeling the warmth of their hands together, then realizing, Marie slowly pulled away, offering an awkward smile.
They watched the musical, Marie laughing at Una’s dramatic reenactment of some of the scenes. She felt her heart swell watching Una, singing with her, and Una felt her heart do the same. But for Una, it then sank–the reality of the situation setting in.
“Well,” Una said when the film came to a close. “I guess I should head out.” She offered, a little reluctant, disappointment hinting in her voice.
“Okay! Well, um, it was really nice having you over. We should do it again sometime!”
“Yeah, maybe we should!” Una said, trying to be cheerful. She got up to leave. Marie standing awkwardly next to her as the Enterprise Commander slipped her shoes back on.
“You’ll, um, have to let me know how the tour goes.”
“The tour?” Una frowned in confusion.
“With Mazie.”
“Oh right.” Una replied flatly, suddenly feeling stressed. “Yes, yeah. I will.”
“Oh, don’t forget your orchid.” Marie smiled, unsure. She walked over to grab it for Una, fiddling with one of the precious white petals as she walked it over to her friend. She stood there a moment, looking at it, brushing the soft white with her finger until it pulled off. “Oh! Oh shit.” She exclaimed. “I’m sorry, Una, fuck!” Una covered Marie’s hands over the orchid and smiled softly.
“It’s okay. There are plenty of other blooms. Now and to come. And these Bridal Orchids are made to be resilient. Like any marriage should be. Though legend does suggest they have a little magic in them and if a marriage is meant to die, the orchid will crumble within three days of the gifting. But if it's meant to flourish, it will grow three new blooms, each with a golden center. Rather than the pink, see?” She said, pointing out the fuzzy pink anthers in the center of the orchid blooms. Marie smiled, passing her hand over Una’s forearm as she took the plant from her.
“That’s beautiful.” She replied softly. "Is it true?"
"I'm not sure. My mother said hers bloomed with golden centers. But I never saw it. They had to get rid of it when we moved over to the Human Colony. They didn't want anyone to see." Una said, sadly. Marie felt a deep sadness for Una creep around her heart.
“Here,” Una said, picking the fallen bloom out of the soil. “Take it. A keepsake. You can press it in a book or something. If you have those.”
“I have those.” Marie chuckled.
“Okay then.” Una smiled shyly, stepping back toward the door.
“Have a good night.”
“You too, Una.”
“Okay. Thanks again!” She said, thrusting the orchid in the air in thanks before walking out of Marie’s quarters, a pang of regret between them.