Oh, he's so damn fucking perfect. I really hate it. Evan's my best friend. I'm not his best friend though, but that doesn't matter. Okay, it does matter, but what can I do about it? Force him to like me more than he likes Regulus? I have still a little bit of pride left.
"Oi, earth to Bartemius, you there?" And his voice. Since when can a voice be so bloody attractive? But it is nothing compared to his eyes. So fucking steel blue. "Fuck Off, Rosier" I answer, annoyed, because he called me by my full name. Fuck you, dad, really, for naming me after yourself. Too much self-confidence, eh?
"Chill Barty" Reggie mumbles into his notebook. "Sad boy poetry again, Reggie? About you and your little boyfriend?" I could've been nicer, I know, but who cares. I'm not in the mood. "Yo, calm down, dude." I would know a way you could help me calm down, Rosier. Of course, I didn't say that. You know, my little bit pride that's still left? Yeah, exactly that.
Why does he look at me like that, though? Shit, I don't have any pride left, apparently. I said it out loud. Shit. Just smile, smile and raise an eyebrow. Be cool. Be chill about it. "Your mood changes are going to be the death of me" he answers. Good, I'm not obvious.
Then I see the side glance from Reg. Oh, he knows. Of course he does. Observant sucker. I just have to concentrate on my books again. So, potions. I'm good at potions. To be honest I'm good in every subject, I just study with Evan and Reg to see Evan. Spend some time with him. Look into his beautiful eyes. Insult him. You know what I mean.
Suddenly Reggie speaks. It is a surprise, really. "So, you guys know James right?" As if he isn't talking about him 24/7, but nevermind. "Yeah, Reg, you may be surprised about this, but we Indeed know your boyfriend." Evan answers. We have to be soulmates, right? I mean, I thought the same thing. Definitely soulmates.
Reg just ignores Ev's comment and continues speaking. "He...he kind of invited us to the gryffindor party tonight..." oh, it's getting interesting. "We're going. No party without me and Rosie." I nod into Evan's direction. He rolls his pretty eyes but doesn't deny it. Reggie looks relieved. In which universe does he live that he thinks I would say no to a party?
"Okay, then enough studying for today. We have to get ready! I hope they have some firewhiskey there, because I've only got one bottle left, and this is clearly not enough for a good round of truth or dare!" I'm already on my way back to our dorms, slightly boxing Evan and grinning at him. This night will be bloody good.
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At 9PM we arrive at the gryffindor common room. There are already many people partying, some dancing, some just standing around. I make my way through the crowd, looking for the person who I know is in charge of the alcohol. And there he is.
"Oi, Lupin, what's up?" Why is he so tall? It really annoys me when people look down at me like that. But we're friends. Otherwise I would have probably punched him in the face. "Hey Crouch. How many bottles did you get?" Of course he knows why I'm here. "Sorry mate, just one this time. Was my last bottle. Hope you got some more." I give him the firewhiskey. He looks a bit disappointed. Yeah, life without alcohol is hard, man. "We've got three but one's already empty..." that doesn't sound too bad.
We decide to hide two bottles for later, and then I finally make my way back to Ev and Reggie. And now James too apparently. Evan and my eyes meet and he rolls his beautiful eyes again. Am I obsessed with his eyes? Maybe, but they're just... to stunning to put it into words. I laugh, because, of course Regulus is making heart eyes at his boyfriend again. James already drank a bit or maybe more than a bit. I can tell you, watching your friend snog your enemy, a gryffindor, isn't as fun to see as it sounds. So Ev and I decide to get some drinks.
I say even more dumb shit when I'm drunk, but seriously, no, don't make a Sirius joke now, who cares? And maybe, just maybe, Evan will say some dumb shit too. Time flies when you're drunk, and to be honest, also a bit high. Suddenly, the party's much smaller, just maybe 15 people left. Perfect for truth or dare. "Everybody who wants to play truth or dare, come here" Evan shouts. See, soulmates.
We all sit down, Evan to my left and Marlene to my right. I like Marlene and her energy. She's wild and crazy. When every girl would be a bit more like her, everything would be far more fun. They all decide, that none of us is sober enough to think about good questions and dares so we play 'spin the bottle' instead.
I dont mind, really, because I've talked with Remus about this before. He has a bottle which he hexed. It always points at the person you want it to point on but I had to promise not to tell anyone. He winks at me and I grin. This will be fun.
"Okay guys, I can begin" James says confidently. Of course, bloody gryffindor. Always wanting to be brave. Eww. The bottle spins and spins and lands on Regulus. Of course it does. I roll my eyes. I'll get a toothache from all this sweetness. They begin kissing again.
It's Peter's turn and it lands on Pandora. That's surprising. He blushes and looks to the ground. James and Regulus are still snogging on the couch but nobody cares. Peter gives Pandora just a quick peck on the lips. We boo him but he's too shy to do it again. What a coward.
Oh shit. I haven't noticed that Marlene's spinning the bottle now and after that it is my turn. If I wouldn't be drunk and high, I probably would've died. But my brain isn't sober enough to fully understand the impact of the situation that is about to happen. Marlene and Dorcas kiss. Wait, what? That was too fast for my brain. Marlene likes Cassy? Okay, I can see it. Good for them I guess. Dorcas always talked about Marlene nonstop but it isn't a one-sided crush apparently.
Shit, now's my turn. I take the bottle and slowly make eye contact with Remus. He looks curious and smiles at me, this little bastard. I take a deep breath and spin the bottle. It spins slower and slower until it stops and points at the spot right beside me. I knew it would, but it still shocks me a little bit. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
I smile nervously. Evan just raises one eyebrow and turns towards me. "Looks like it's me, Crouch." How can he be so fucking cool?! "Yeah, I suppose so. Be careful not to be too overwhelmed by my stunning kissing skills. I'm not a coward like Peter, just so you know." "Dont worry about me, Bartemius. I think it's more necessary that you focus on not passing out, am I right?"
Yes, of course I blush! What would you do after your crush of three years says something like that to you?! I try to ignore him and take a deep breath. I slowly lean in and close my eyes. And then, I feel it. His soft lips on my own. Warm skin against warm skin. It's even better than a joint and that says something! It feels like breathing after almost drowning. Waking up on your birthday. The first day of summer holidays. I can't resist the urge and open my eyes.
And he's already looking at me. Oh, these eyes. Steel blue, like the sky on a sunny winter day against his brown skin, like the bark of the trees. A forest in winter. That is Evan. I break the kiss after seconds of intense eye contact. I physically couldn't take this tension anymore. I awkwardly clear my throat and grin nervously. "Not a bad kisser, Rosie, I have to admit. I've seen worse."
He just looks at me like he tries to figure something out. "Yeah yeah, whatever." He mumbles and looks away. Weird, but okay. The game continues but I don't really pay attention anymore. Soon, I stand up. "Sorry guys, was fun as always, but I'm high and tired as shit. I'm gonna go now." I glance at Regulus, but it doesn't seem like he'll sleep at the slytherin dorms tonight.
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"I'm coming with ya. Seeya guys." Oh, Evan's coming too? Merlin, I really dont know how to act around him after this. We walk in awkward silence. But, dear Salazar, what the fuck should I say? I dont even know what we are after this! I glance at him, but he just walks beside me, hands in his pockets. Okay, we'll not talk about it then, I guess. Fine. I don't mind. We where drunk and high. It was just a stupid game. This kiss didn't mean anything.
As I lay in my bed, my thoughts go crazy. I hope I didn't ruin our friendship. Shit. "Hey, Barty?" my thoughts literally freeze. He still talks to me! "Yeah Evan?" Please dont say you hate me, please please please. "What...what was this? I mean, the game. Remus...he told me too that the bottle always points at the person you want it to point on..."
Oh, fuck you, Lupin. I'm gonna kill you. Why did you tell Evan? I don't know what to say. "So...so what?" Yes, I am nervous. I really dont know how I can save this situation. "Your bottle...it pointed at me." This was no question. So I don't have to answer it. Yeah Barty, just stay silent. That will not look like you're trying to avoid this conversation, of course not. I sigh. "Yes, I guess..." what should I say? I mean, I can't deny it anymore. There is silence for a bit.
"But... but why?" Of course I am frustrated now. I mean, what does he think that means? Anger starts to built inside of me. If he wants the truth, he gets the truth. "Merlin! Because I fucking love you, you bloody idiot!"
The next things happen really fast. I hear it rustling, my curtains are torn open and suddenly Evan's sitting on my bed, leaning over me. Our eyes meet again. "You really do?" As if I could feel anything else than love for him. "Of course, you dumbass."
This kiss is different. First of all, nobody's watching us, what makes this whole thing much more intimate. It isn't as gentle as the first kiss, but deep and passionate and full of feelings. He tastes like home and freedom and just so much like Evan. I can't describe it any better. I open my eyes again and get lost in his eyes. To be honest, I dont give a fuck if I ever find a way out of them.