september 12th 1974.
september 12th 1974. 4:34am
GOOD MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS. I haven't actually slept yet because I was training and forgot about my homework. At this point, I think it's too late to sleep. Oh well! More yap for me. Literally nothing interesting has happened, Sirius and Remus kissed but they did that when they were friends anyway for "practice" but they knew what they were doing. Peter has a crush on a girl, I think her name is Emmeline? I'm not too sure honestly. It feels like everything revolves around love this year and its not even been two weeks.
Charms is actually a good class, like I just did the homework for it and Peter was saying how hard it was all week (because I left it until last minute, obviously) and I was properly stressing but I finished it in like 30 minutes?? To be fair, Peter did manage to make the Professor fucking bald when we were performing a simple floating charm as just a warmup. I love wormtail to bits but sometimes he can be a bit academically challenged. BUT me and remus mostly remus are bloody awesome and can teach him! Moony totally won't let me but I can sit there for moral support, I'm really good at that. It's just yelling words of encouragement, I'm great at being encouraging and even better at yelling. Not around Sirius though.
Back to love, WHAT IS GOING ON. Lily is looking at me and smiling. LIKE OH MY GOD. I still feel barely anything though and I'm beginning to think I'm broken, what sort of teenage boy doesn't have a crush on a girl, even Remus thought he had a crush on a girl once and that man is gayer than the rainbow itself! Peter has a crush on a girl and we all thought he was hopeless in that area, him included. But I thought think I do too, on Lily of course. It could easily be some sort of phase where I haven't seen her in a while and I need to get used to it. I haven't had a crush on another girl before so there's nothing to compare it to but I have to be right. Everyone knows I like Lily, they wouldn't know that if I didn't actually like her because surely somebody would notice there's not a spark from me to her (because she won't show it back). Somebody would've said something, my best mates would've said something. I'm not insane, just a bit broken.