Chapter 2
Harry had been staring at the roof for longer than he could count, he didn’t want to get up before Draco, so he waited. But he really had to take a piss. He muttered a curse under his breath and swung his legs over the bed, forcing himself up. His head shot over to Draco’s side of the room when he heard movement, but it was just Draco stirring in his sleep. He carefully stepped onto the cold floor and walked slowly over to the door, attempting to avoid every creaky step, he slid out of the door and then his shoulders eased, he walked softly to the bathrooms they’d shared only to see it was shut with the light on. His hand was tense as he knocked, scared of it being Zabini or Parkinson.
“One moment!” He recognized the rushed voice immediately, Hermione. “Take your time” He grumbled, his words interrupted with a yawn. Harry looked around at the building, it had such a welcoming warmth to it, but it wasn’t the Gryffindor common room. He wondered if Draco felt that way about the dungeons, but they were so cold and isolated, how could something like that be home? The door swung open and Hermione stepped out, her hair wet and brushed out, jeans slightly too big, and a knitted sweater. She smiled at him before she turned to her room, which happened to be right next to the lavatory.
Harry had always been oddly close with Hermione, although not in the way many wanted him too, he had seen her like a sister. A lot of people expected Harry to end up with her or the Weasley girl, although Ginny and him had their moments, they weren’t as romantically involved as a lot of people thought. When Harry hung around Ginny, they just laughed and talked about quidditch, but deep down, he knew Ginny saw him as more. Harry tried to push the thoughts of his love life away, clenching his eyes shut and leaning on the bathroom counter. He took a deep breath and ran hand over his face.
He hated how much pressure was on him, specifically on his romantic life, everything was on display, people watched his every move, literally, he got a fan mail that stated ‘I love the way you breath Harry, in and out.’ It was disturbing but quite funny. He wondered if he would meet someone new and fall in love, or maybe they were right in front of him the whole time. He splashed his face with water in an attempt to shut his mind off.
He looked in the mirror, his skin was tan, his hair longer than it had been in years, his green eyes were drained, his mothers eyes. All Harry thought about was his parents, were they proud of him, “Shut up!” He mumbled, hitting his head.
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“So, how's the rooming with Malfoy going?” Ron asked, stuffing his face with a muffin that a Hufflepuff girl, Cassiopiea Bennet, had made for the eighth years. “He’s you know—he’s Malfoy?” Harry sounded unsure, Malfoy hadn’t spoken much when they got situated, and he was fast asleep when he had gotten out of the shower “no I don’t know, he hasn’t said a single snide comment to any of us!” Ron sighed dramatically.
“He hasn’t said a snide comment to us since fifth year, I don’t know what you expected” Hermione said, leaning against the counter, sipping her tea. “I expected him to complain to McGonagall, say “my father will hear about this!” anything!” Harry and Hermione couldn’t contain their laughter at Ron’s horrible impression of little Malfoy. Hermione was hunched over clutching her stomach and Harry was slapping his hand on the table, he missed these moments. But then Malfoy walked down the stairs, and their laughter faded. Hermione cleared her throat and took a sip of her tea, Harry just sat awkwardly, and Ron watched Malfoy like a hawk, literally. Malfoy noticed it too, Ron’s little glaring at him, the way his eyes were locked on him as he grabbed a muffin.
“Do you need something?” Malfoy mumbled, just above a whisper, looking at Ron. Hermione's hand stopped just by her mouth and she placed her mug down, “How was your summer Malfoy?” Ron and Harry stared at each other with wide eyes and Malfoy was taken aback by the question. “Err— It was good I guess, how was yours?” He said, straightening his back, surprised that she was being nice to him after everything. “It was great actually, I went to Egypt with Ron and his family!” She smiled at him, Draco's face lit up at the mention of Egypt. “I went when I was thirteen, the Pyramids are quite beautiful, although I doubt they were made by muggles.” He laughed slightly, Hermione went on about everything she learned whilst in Egypt, which resulted in Malfoy and her migrating over to the small round wooden table in the kitchen, going on about Egypt. Ron and Harry just stared at each other, gawking over the fact that Hermione and Malfoy were having a conversation and no insults being thrown at each other.
“Oh– It’s already nine! Sorry to cut you short” Hermione smiled standing up, “Classes start in twenty-five minutes, and it's quite a walk, you're welcome to walk with us!” Hermione strainted her sweater and grabbed her tote bag, looking over to Ron and Harry who had been silent the whole time. “Sure, if you guys are fine with that?” Draco scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck, staring at the two, Ron agreed, grabbing another muffin before slouching his bag over his shoulder, and Harry said nothing, just looking at Malfoy with a blank face, before walking out of the door.
The walk from the hut to the towers wasn't very long, but they had potions in the dungeons. Hermione and Malfoy walked in front of Ron and Harry chatting about god knows what, when a rush of footsteps came from behind them. “You arse!” Pansy Parkinson smacked Malfoy's arm with a newspaper once she caught up to them, Blaise Zabini walked up behind them and nodded at the two, the hufflepuff in his right. “What did I do” Malfoy said, his shoulders scrunched as he ducked from Parkinson’s wacks.
“Well for one, you left without me and Blaise, we thought you’d run away, only to find you walking with them of all people— no offense,” The words rushed out of her mouth, she was slightly out of breath and her hair swished as she walked, brushing her neck. “Okay sorry but—“ Malfoy started with a curl on his lips, “Not to mention you didn’t even come see me nor Blaise last night! You had us thinking Potter killed you!” The group went oddly silent after her last words.
“Oh for fucks sake! Lighten up!” Parkinson complained looking around at all the eighteen-year olds as they walked, she spun around and began walking backwards. “It was a joke, okay? And we cannot act like this all year, in fear of laughing at our trauma, not to mention we literally have three classes a day and an entire place to ourselves! That means getting high and drunk and actually being teenagers for once in our lives!” Parkinson was still walking backwards as they approached the castle, Harry didn’t exactly disagree with her, he really did want to just be a teenager. Zabini threw an arm around Parkinson and told her to chill out, she rolled her eyes and continued talking.
She was actually completely rights, Harry had never been high or drunk or even tried to do anything, he was an eighteen year old virgin for fucks sake! It was embarrassing to think about, no one he knew was a virgin, not Hermione, not Ron, not Ginny, not Dean, not even Nevillie! It was torture but he didn’t think he'd find anyone, his thoughts were interpreted by a few gasps and a cluster of laughs. Malfoy and Parkinson were on the floor, tackling each other like children. “Oh I’m so telling him” Parkinson said in a sing-song voice, Malfoy rolled over so he was on top of her and slapped a hand over her mouth, “Don't you dare.” Malfoys eyes were full of foolishness, and seriousness. “Oh I would, Oh arry!” Her voice was muffled by Malfoy’s hand but Harry thought for a moment he heard his own name.
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Harry rushed down the hall, swerving past a group of first year girls, who squealed and gawked when they noticed who he was. He had failed to wake up from his nap on time, and fucking Malfoy didn’t think to wake him up; he was most likely with Parkinson. He was showing up late to his first potions class, his hair a mess, his uniform wrinkled, and sweat dripping down his face. “So–sorry I'm late, professor.” Harry muttered as he stood, catching his breath, by the door. “Ah! Harry m’boy, don’t stress it! Take a seat beside Malfoy!” Slughorn's voice was ragged and tired, but yet he remained enthusiastic–wait, did he say Malfoy? Harry swallowed and tried to hold back his eye roll, wiping sweat from his brow and walking over to the back of the class, where Malfoy was sat.
“Today we will be learning about Wolfsbane potion, the only potion that allows werewolves to keep their minds post-transformation!” A knife pierced Harry’s heart, Remus had passed during the war, alongside Fred. A wave of guilt ran over Harry, he could’ve saved them. If he hadn’t spent all that time in sixth year taking lessons with Dumbledore, he could’ve defeated him faster, he could have avoided the death of some of the closest people in his life. Harry tensed up and crossed his arms over his chest, he watched as Malfoy scratched notes onto his parchment, the way his fingers moved, the gratefulness in every motion of his hand, the– why was Harry paying so much attention to Malfoy’s hands? Harry blinked his eyes forcefully and rolled his shoulders before listening to Slughorn drone on about werewolves–oh yeah. Remus was dead, Tonks was dead, Fred was dead, Snape was dead, they were all dead, and it was his fault.
Hermione had told him alot to not blame himself for all the faults that happened during the war, but he couldn’t help it, he could’ve stopped it, he could’ve protected them, he could’ve been there to stupefy the death eater that murdered Fred, or Fenrir Greyback, who had bitten and torn apart Lavender Brown, he could’ve protected everyone. All of a sudden Harry couldn’t breath, his hands were sweaty, his breath was labored, tears were running down his cheeks, and everyone was staring at him. Oh god, everyone was staring at him. His throat closed up and his eyes were running all over the room
Parkinson, Bennet, Zabini, Smith, Weasley, Granger, Malfoy, everyone, they were all staring at him, and he was crying. A spark shot through his body when he felt a foot nudge his own, he jolted away and looked around, painfully embarrassed. He jumped up and his chair made an awkward scrape on the floor, Slughorn opened his mouth to talk but Harry was speaking before him. “I'm sorry– I’ll be right back– I didn’t mean to interrupt,” The words were all jumbled together and he stumbled over his words as he walked clumsily to the door. He walked backwards through the door and gave an awkward smile to the class before running out the door. His footsteps echoed in his head, his fingers adjusted his tie.
The sound of a door creaking open makes his feet stop, he closes his eyes and breaths, before turning around. The blonde hair sticks out against the dark hues of the castle, Harry’s eyes widen in embarrassment, he turns on his heels and tries his hardest to get away from the other boy. He hears the footsteps following after him, slightly drowned out by the pounding of this heart, “Harry!” The voice echos behind him as he pushed the door of the abandoned bathroom, he runs a hand through his hair as he hiccups form the aggressive breathing— no— fuck no.
“Harry—fuck, where are you?” Malfoys voices sounds genuinely worried, and Harry can’t help but let out a little laugh, Malfoy? Worried? About Harry? HA! That’s on another level of comedy. He hears a slur of curses and spins around to see Malfoy walking towards him, Harry attempts to back up but hits a wall, and then—what?
Malfoys arms are around Harry. And Harry wants to hate it, so he pushed Malfoy off, but Malfoy squeezes him harder, so Harry pushes harder. Harry tries to pull himself away but Malfoy drags them both to the ground, “Get—off—me!” Harry gasps between sobs “please—get—off.” Harry’s words are slowed by acceptance and his body relaxes and sinks into the embrace.
“I know.” Malfoy muttered as Harry sobbed, it was so weird, and surreal, hugging Malfoy. It wasn’t like them at all, Harry had feared sharing a dorm with Malfoy, and now he was here sobbing in his arms. “I know it’s weird, but what’s going on, it’s better if you talk about it” Malfoys voice wasn’t as rough as it had been, he’s face was soft and his eyebrows furrowed,
“I—I just feel like everyone is acting so normal, and nothing is normal! So many people are dead, because I didn’t act quick enough, I just hate that everyone is so calm, Fred and Remus are fucking dead!” Harry blubbered as he tried to not yell through his rage, Malfoy just listened. “Even you seem so normal! Your dad is in Azkaban and your mothers in the dark tower! But you seem so calm?! I mean—how do you do it!” Harry's eyes blurred with tears.
“Same way you were so calm the last seven years.”