“Hey,” Regulus greets, entering the Marauder dorm. James looks up from his homework.
“Hi? What are you doing here?” He asks, wondering how the young Slytherin got into the Gryffindor common room in the first place.
“Need some parchment.” Regulus answers, rummaging through his brother’s stuff.
“How did you even get in?” James asks, watching the younger Black.
“Fed Sirius some Veritaserum last week and he gave me all the passwords for the next two months. Don’t bother asking him about it. He doesn’t remember.” He says like it's the most normal thing ever, looking under Sirius’ bed. James chuckles, smiling fondly to himself, his stomach fluttering.
“You're such a Slytherin.” He says, shaking his head.
“Oh, really?” Regulus turns to raise an eyebrow at James. “That’s weird.”
James feels the fluttering in his chest once again, having to take a deep breath to calm his nerves. Regulus turns away again and James can't help but chuckle.
“Merlin's beard does he even have any parchment?” Regulus groans, getting up from the floor.
“Take some of mine, it's on my desk.” James tilts his chin towards his desk, before turning back to his homework.
“Thank you,” Regulus dusts himself off and went to grab the parchment of James’ desk. As he was about to grab the parchment and leave, something caught his eye.
“Hey, what's this?” He says, grabbing a folded piece of parchment with his name on it. James looks up, trying to recognize the paper in Regulus’ hands.
“For me, huh?” Regulus smiles, unfolding the paper. James’ eyes grew wide and he jumps up at once.
“Don’t read that!” He yells, trying to snatch it from Regulus’ hands, but it was too late.
Dear Regulus,
I am sorry to tell you this. I cannot be near you any longer. I can't. I’m sorry, but I can't.
“What?” Regulus turns to look at James in confusion. James grabs his wrist, but Regulus wasn’t budging. The Slytherin turns back to the paper.
I cannot be near you anymore, because being near you is torture. It's a torture I cannot take any longer.
The look on Regulus’ face changes to hurt and tears form in his eyes.
“What is this?” When James didn’t answer him, he continues reading.
Being near you and is a torture, because I cannot have you. Not the way I want you. I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you and not having you is so painful it breaks me. It's literal torture.
Regulus inhales sharply and James let go of his wrist. It doesn’t matter anymore, Regulus had seen too much. Helplessly he lets himself sink to the ground staring at the floor as tears came from his eyes.
Every time you're near me all I want to do is kiss you and hold you. It's killing me. I'm so in love with you that the thought of you alone is enough to make my head spin. When you enter a room, everything fades to the background, because all I can focus on is the fluttering in my stomach and the way my heart is drumming in my chest when I see you. You drive me mad… When we’re talking, I constantly stumble over my words, because your smile makes my mind go blank. I could stare into your eyes all day and I would still not be bored of it. I could watch you all day too. When you're studying or when you're playing quidditch, hell even when you're not doing anything at all. I would never get bored of watching you. During quidditch matches, I need to make sure that I'm not facing you. I'd get hit by a bludger, because I'm so focused on you. I can never remember what happens in the books you read to me because all I focus on is the way your voice sounds and the way your fingers glide across the pages. I can't study around you, because all I'd be studying is the freckles on your nose and cheeks and the way your eyelashes flutter when you blink. Even walking with you is a danger, because I might get too focused on watching you and I'd walk into someone or something. I can't eat or drink, because my stomach is filled with butterflies when I even think of you. I cannot focus on anything but you, and the pain I feel in my chest when I realise you're not mine.
So I cannot be near you any longer. I truly am sorry.
Yours forever,
James
The paper fell from Regulus’ hands and looks up at James, tears escaping from his eyes. James half supresses a sob, covering his mouth with one hand.
“I'm sorry.” Regulus lets himself sink to the floor as well, scooting closer to James. “I am causing you pain and I am sorry…”
James lets out another sob.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
"How could I?” James croaks, not daring to look up. “How could I, ever?”
Regulus shakes his head, more tears coming from his eyes. “I wish you had told me… You wouldn’t have had to suffer for so long…”
“What do you mean?” Asks James in despair.
“I love you, too, James. I have for so long now… We’ve both been suffering so long, for nothing.” There was a moment of silence.
“…How can you love me?” James whispers, genuinely confused. Regulus’ heart breaks.
“Please don’t say that.. How could I not love you? Merlin's beard… Can I please hug you?”
James nods. Regulus goes over to him and holds him close.
“How can anyone not fall in love with you? You're so brilliant and kind and funny. Everybody can see how amazing you are.”
James sobs softly.
“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.” Regulus leans down kissing James’ tears away, while his own tears were falling as well. He kisses James’ lips softly, holding James closer. The older boy kisses him back, tears still streaming. They share a long, sad and passionate kiss, both unable to stop crying as all the pain they’ve been feeling finally leaves their bodies.
“We’re so weird..” Regulus chuckles through the tears when they broke apart. “We finally confessed our feelings for each other and we can't stop bloody crying.” He lets out a laugh and a sob wiping his eyes with a smile on his face. James smiles too, tears still streaming.
“I'm just so relieved you feel the same. I just can't stop crying.” He chuckles.
“Me too.” Regulus chuckles too. James pulls him close, still crying.
“Be my boyfriend, Reg.” He whispers. Regulus’ crying became even worse as he nods eagerly.
“Merlin yes, I want nothing more.”
James kisses his lips that taste of their tears. “We really need to stop crying.” He says.
“I'm trying.” Regulus wipes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Well, I can forget finishing my homework. I don’t think I can do anything anymore today.”
“Stay here, then.” James suggests, getting up. He offers Regulus a hand. “Stay here with me, let's read a book or something.”
“What if the others come in?” Regulus asks, worry tainting his voice.
“They’ll see us reading together, like we do so often.”
“Except that we look like we've just had a cry.”
“Well, that did happen.” James chuckles. Regulus rolls his eyes, but can't fight the smile that is appearing on his face.
"Come on," James said, laying down on his bed and putting his homework away. He patted the space next to him. Regulus came to lay next to him. James grabbed a book from his nightstand and handed it to Regulus before snuggling up to him. Regulus opened up the book and started reading it to James who was comfortably laying against him.