The Polyjuice Potion that made everything worse
They stepped off the stone staircase at the top, and Professor McGonagall rapped on the door. It opened silently and they entered. Professor McGonagall told the three to wait and left them there, alone. Harry looked around. One thing was certain; Of all the teachers' offices Harry had visited so far, Dumbledore's was certainly the most interesting. If he hadn't been scared out of his mind that he and his friends were about to be thrown out of school, he would have been very pleased to have a chance to look around it.
It was a large and beautiful circular room, full of funny little noises. A number of curious silver instruments stood on spindle-legged tables, whirring and emitting little puffs of smoke. The walls were covered with portraits of old headmasters and headmistresses, all of whom were snoozing gently in their frames. There was also an enormous, claw-footed desk, and, sitting on a shelf behind it, a shabby, tattered wizard's hat-- the Sorting Hat. Hermione followed his line of sight.
"Harry, no," She said, but he had already tuned everything else out. He cast a wary eye around the sleeping witches and wizards on the walls. Surely it couldn't hurt if he took the hat down and tried it on again? Just to see... just to make sure it had put him in the right House....
"Harry, what are you doing?" Lisa asked, grabbing his arm, but he was too focused to let her deter him. He shook her off, walked quietly around the desk, lifted the hat from it's shelf, and lowered it onto his head. It was much too large and slipped down over his eyes, just as it had done the last time he'd put it on. Harry stared at the black inside of the hat, waiting.
Then a small voice said in his ear, "Bee in your bonnet, Harry Potter?"
"I just... I just wanted to know if.." He muttered, suddenly questioning his choice.
"You've been wondering whether I put you in the right House," said the hat promptly. "Yes... you were particularly difficult to place. But, I will not deny, you would have done very well in Slytherin--"
Harry grabbed the point of the hat and pulled it off before it could finish. It hung limply in his hand. Harry pushed it back onto its shelf, feeling sick. Even though he already knew it was broken between Slytherin and Ravenclaw, it didn't feel and better to hear. And he had already heard enough of that.
"I'm where I'm supposed to be," he said aloud to the still and silent hat. Or maybe to himself, but either way, the hat didn't move in the slightest. Harry backed away, watching it. Lisa nudged his elbow. "You don't have to wonder if you're a Slytherin just because people think you're Slytherin's heir. You're way better than that jerk."
Then a strange, gagging noise made them turn around.
They weren't alone after all. Standing on a golden perch behind the door was a decrepit-looking bird that resembled an ugly turkey. Harry stared at it and the bird looked balefully back, making its gagging noise again. Harry thought it looked very ill. Its eyes were dull and, even as Harry watched, a couple more feathers fell out of its tail.
"Er... is it... okay?" Lisa mumbled.
"It definitely doesn't look okay. Like it's on its last leg." Hermione answered.
"Doesn't matter. The last thing we need is that bird--" Harry started, but just as, the bird burst into flames.
"Oh god-- back away, back away," Hermione said promptly. They all backed to the desk, watching the bird become a fireball. With a shriek, the fireball turned into ashes.
"None of us did that, r- right?" Lisa stammered.
The office door opened and Dumbledore walked in through, looking very somber.
"Professor, we are so sorry-- your- your bird just caught on fire, and--" Harry tried to explain, but to his astonishment, Dumbledore just smiled.
"Ah, about time too," he said. "He's been dreadfully terrible for days. I've been telling him to get a move on."
Then Harry realised. " Is your bird a Phoenix? I- I mean... does the Wizarding world have Phoenixes?"
"Brilliant, Harry, yes-- Fawkes here is a Phoenix. Just watch," Dumbledore said. Harry, Hermione, and Lisa leaned in to look at the ashes of Fawkes.
After a moment, a wrinkled newborn bird poked his head out the ashes. In Harry's opinion, it looked as ugly as before.
"Wicked-- I mean, um, fascinating!" Lisa said.
"No, It's very 'wicked' Miss Turpin," said Dumbledore, and Lisa burst into giggles. "It's a shame you all had to see him on a burning day however.... He's usually very handsome most of the time. Phoenixes truly are 'wicked' creatures." he said, taking a seat behind his desk. "They can carry immensely heavy loads, their tears have magical healing abilities, and they're incredibly faithful... Fawkes is quite the amazing Phoenix himself, may I say..."
In all the shock of Phoenix catching on fire, Harry, Hermione, and Lisa had forgotten why they were in Dumbledore's office. But then again, did they even know in the first place? Dumbledore fixed his stare on them when, suddenly, the door flew open and Hagrid burst in.
"It wasn't any of them, Professor Dumbledore! I was talkin' to 'em seconds before that kid was found! Couldn'ta had the time--"
Before Dumbledore could say anything, Hagrid continued on about how the three were with him, waving the rooster in his agitation, sending feathers everywhere.
"-- it can’t’ve bin any o' 'em, I’ll swear i' in front o’ the Ministry o’ Magic if I go' ter--"
"Hagrid, I--"
"-- yeh’ve got the wrong kids, sir, I know they'd never--"
"Hagrid!" said Dumbledore loudly. “I do not think that any of these three attacked those people.”
"Oh. Eh, right. I'll be waiting outside then, Professor..." Hagrid said, looking fairly embarrassed as he walked back out the office.
"You don't think it's us, sir? Oh, that's relieving!" Hermione said happily.
"No, I do not." said Dumbledore, nodding. "Miss Turpin, would you mind if I asked you to leave?"
"Oh? O- of course not, sir... I'll be outside... too." Lisa responded slowly, looking hopefully at Harry and Hermione, before she too exited the office. Dumbledore grinned at her as she left before turning to Harry and Hermione. He must've noticed the evident tension, because he said, smiling, "You two are not in trouble in particular. I simply have a question."
Harry released a breath he didn't realise he was holding, and beside him, Hermione did the same.
"I must ask-- is there anything that either of you need to ask me?" Dumbledore asked. "Anything at all?"
Harry and Hermione looked at eachother. Harry had so much he'd wanted to say, and by the look in her eyes, so did Hermione.
Harry thought about how people were accusing him of being Slytherin's Heir, and how he was hearing voices in the walls and in his head that weren't his, and how the Dursleys treated him, and the growing dread that he was really connected to Salazar Slytherin, and how maybe there was something really wrong with him... and even then, there were more thoughts he really would've liked to say...
"No sir," he said. "there's nothing I'd like to say."
"There's nothing I would like to say either, Professor." Hermione said quietly, staring at her feet. "But, er, can- can I know why you asked me to stay?"
Dumbledore took a moment to answer. "I apologise, Miss Granger." he said. "There is no reason in particular."
But something about the look in his eyes told Harry that he did have a reason-- just that she couldn't know; not yet. And it seemed Hermione caught that look too, because she nodded and returned to staring at the floor.
The double attack on Justin and Nearly Headless Nick had made more people afraid, seeing as there was one question on their minds: "What could've done that to a ghost?"
But what was frustrating-- a lot of people thought: "Potter could." There was a stampede to book seats on the Hogwarts Express.
"At this rate, it'll only be us left!" Ron said.
"Oh, yes," said Padma, "Just us, most of Hufflepuff, and Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Runcorn, Parkinson, Bridget, Harper, and that fourth year Slytherin. Parkinson's got an older brother staying too-- Atticus. He's one of the new prefects in our House, I'm pretty sure. Ooh, I've heard Samantha's staying, I think there's a third year Ravenclaw staying, and Parvati--"
"Okay, I get it Padma, there's more than just us staying,"
Harry felt quite glad that a lot of people were leaving. He didn't like that people were constantly swerving around him in corridors, or staring at him in class like he'd put on a show and attack another person. He was tired of the muttering, all the people saying, "Hey Potter, going to your secret chamber?"
Two of Ron's older brothers, meanwhile, Fred and George, had found it quite funny. Any time they'd come around to mess with Ron, they'd mess with anyone they caught looking at Harry weird to try and cheer him up; When they noticed he was a little too gloomy in the corridors, they'd catch a reason to go over to them and conveniently pave the way infront of them, saying, "Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through..."
Percy was deeply disappointed.
"It's not funny!" he said sternly, when he'd been finally pushed out of the way. "People are being petrified!"
"Calm down and get out of the way, Pinhead Percy," Fred and George said.
At some point, Lisa had caught on too, because she chimed in, "Yeah, Harry's got somewhere he needs to be! He's in a hurry, you see-- he's got to get down to the Chamber of Secrets to enjoy a cup of tea with his super-scary beast,"
"Nice rhymes," whispered Fred, and she smiled.
Ginny didn't find it quite amusing either. She'd wail anytime she saw a crowd clearing for Fred and George, knowing almost immediately that they were on the joke.
However, Harry enjoyed it very much. He was entertained by how his friends tried to make him laugh even though it wasn't something they had to be concerned with. Draco had looked frustrated any time that he saw, and Ron thought it was because "He was just bursting to say it was him," but Harry had to admit; It looked much more like he was trying to hold back laughter rather than frustration after the first few times. His face just did the same thing, probably-- got very pink and scrunched up as if it was a rotten fruit. It was hilarious, really.
But after a short while, term had ended, and the castle had been as silent as the snow piling the grounds. The common rooms were gloomy and quiet, but Harry enjoyed sitting in Ravenclaw's with his friends under blankets and having fun playing Wizards Chess- even if it was mostly losing miserably to Ron- Exploding Snap, or just reading.
Christmas morning arrived, cold as ever, Harry would've much preferred to sleep in, but was woken up abruptly to his bed curtain being pulled open by Padma and Lisa. He turned to face the wall, pulled the comforter back over his head, and hissed at them-- "Five more minutes..."
Hydrus, who had been sleeping beside his head, hissed too. "Ten minutess... ten..."
"Yeah, ten minutes..."
"Sorry Draco, I guess he doesn't want to wake up this morning--"
His head sprung up, and Draco had indeed been standing behind them, holding an armful of presents, wearing a dark robe.
"There he is, my bad, I guess he did want to wake up," Padma laughed.
"Are you two even allowed to be in here?" Harry asked, rubbing his eyes.
"Technically, no-- but honestly, I'unno," Lisa shrugged, smiling brightly. "But your staircase hasn't got any knights protecting it, so we're more in the clear than you would be if you came to our dorms. If you could even find a way, I mean. I saw those guys threaten a boy for just walking past one time." She explained, dropping her own stack of presents on the floor. She handed one to Harry. Draco sat beside him on his bed as he put his glasses on.
A lot of the presents Harry got were incredibly nice-- Hagrid had sent a tin of treacle fudge that Harry put it to the side to try and melt later; Ron sent a book with tons of facts about the Chudley Canons, his favourite team-- and ever since Harry learned about them, they were his favourite too; Hermione sent a fancy, luxury eagle-feather quill and a new ink pot for it; Padma got him chocolate wizard treats, minus chocolate frogs and a new cloak since the old one she got him was burned and ripped up thanks to the floo powder incident; Draco, to his amazement, had got him a personalised pocket-watch with silver accents charmed to change to a watch, and Harry was definitely grateful for it since Dudley's old watch he had wouldn't work at Hogwarts. Mrs Weasley sent him a new sweater and a plum cake. Harry felt a surge of guilt as he read her card-- they'd caused trouble for her and Mr Weasley already, and they were about to go about breaking even more rules.
Lisa's gift, most likely the biggest box of all, contained a lot of things he didn't know what to do with. The Big Book of Animagus for Those in Training by someone named Andrew L. Shankill sat below three Mandrake leaves, a bottle of dew, and a pair of scissors. "Lisa, what is this?"
"Right! I almost forgot! Well, I did forget. But- so it's, it's kind of hard to explain, but like, my mom can turn into a bird- kinda like this, but it's, like, different, right -- I thought it was this super cool thing, so I asked her to teach me how to do it-- and she said I couldn't be a bird the way she's a bird, but I might get lucky and become a bird Animagus-- that's someone who can turn into an animal, right, like, you don't get to choose what animal it is, but it'll probably be cool- like, unless you're boring-- and I thought you guys would like to do it with me. Momma said she would get everything for us, so all we gotta do is the ritual, um, thingy."
"Animagi?" Padma repeated. "Yeah, Animagi are cool and all, but.... How are we going to get registered if only your mum knows we would be doing this? We can't just pop up at the Ministry and turn into animals and say we're there to register. And also, it's really not easy."
Lisa bit her lip and then smiled unconvincingly. "Okay, so yeah, about the first part... um, we won't... like-- we'll be unregistered."
They were all staring at her.
"Come on, stop staring at me like that. You don't wanna be able to turn into an animal? Momma taught me this sticking charm that'll work just perfect for starting on it-- we've got to keep a Mandrake leaf in our mouth for an entire month..."
"You're serious about this? Really?" Draco asked uncertainly, looking back and forth between them with a sort of disdain. He didn't have the box of Animagus potion materials like Padma and Harry, and he looked quite grateful for it.
"If you're all gonna be buzz kills, then I'll just become an Animagi by myself--"
"No, Lisa, that's just Padma-- I wanna be an Animagus!" Harry said quickly.
"I do too! Just-- excuse me for not exactly wanting to do something illegal!" Padma said.
"Awesome," giggled Lisa. "So, um, we gotta do the-- um, leaf first..."
Harry put his Mandrake leaf under his tongue, Padma put hers at the top of her mouth, and Lisa nearly swallowed hers when she tried to put it at the back of her throat before she switched to at the top of her mouth like Padma.
"So what do you think you're gonna turn into?" Lisa asked.
"What can we turn into?" Harry replied.
"There's tons of animals we could be.... But I hope we're not all birds," said Padma, frowning, and crossing her arms. "I want something like, er, a tiger. Ooh, or a fox. Those are pretty."
"I think a wolf would be cool," Harry said. "They can hunt good, can't they?"
"This is ridiculous," said Draco, shaking his head and sighing. "Animagi are not the sort of thing you just decide on the fly-- you're entirely risking life in Azkaban if you get caught unregistered. Not to mention, the whole process is long, and there's a ton of risks involved. I don't care about your becoming Animagus, but atleast consider this logically--"
"You sound like Hermione," Lisa groaned. "She's always, like, in our faces about something or another thing. It's nice that she cares, obviously, but she's so bossy about it--"
"Well, apparently, she has to be bossy. Why is it she's the only one of you who has common sense more than half the time?"
"I have common sense!" Harry said.
"You do?" Draco asked,feigning surprise.
"You're not funny, you know."
Draco turned up his nose and looked away. "And you're terribly below average height. We can't have everything."
"Oh, I am? How about I--"
"Okay, before a fight starts," said Padma sharply, looking back and forth between the two, "How about we stop, and get a move on? It's Christmas."
"Yeah, you two, stop it," said Lisa dismissively. "Now-- the next full moon we can get to, is, um, I think the first Saturday of February, so we've got to do the most important part of the process then, and we're gonna have to try and do it quickly. Just read the book, it'll make a lot more sense. You'll help, won't you?" she asked, turning to Draco.
"Help?" He repeated suspiciously. "Why would I help you?"
"Wow, thanks. But, um, you will help because you're the best in our year at Potions. And we have to make a potion, but you gotta be good at it, so you're our best bet."
"My point stands. Why would I help you?"
"Because, if any part of the process goes wrong, we're probably gonna be caught, either from being stuck halfway between animal and person, or from failing a potion that we aren't supposed to be making. And whichever of those happens, we're totally getting expelled-- and before you ask again, you wouldn't be helping only me and Padma-- you'd be helping Harry too."
Draco paused and glanced at Harry.
"Fine. If you all get caught doing this, don't dare mention I knew-- or that I helped." He said. It looked like he was trying to maintain a grimace, but his face only scrunched up and went pink again. It didn't get his point across nearly how he wanted it to-- they all had a hard time taking him entirely seriously when they were laughing. It almost made Harry forget that, sooner or later, they would be using the Polyjuice potion to try and get information out of him. Almost.
And then he truly did forget, when it was time for Christmas dinner and he couldn't not enjoy himself for long enough to feel bad about it.
The Great Hall looked magnificent. Not only were there a dozen frost-covered Christmas trees and thick streamers of holly and mistletoe criss-crossing the ceiling, but enchanted snow was falling, warm and dry, from the ceiling. Dumbledore led them in a few of his favourite carols, Hagrid booming more and more loudly with every goblet of eggnog he consumed and Padma and Lisa far too happy, singing along with great smiles. Percy, who didn't know that Fred and George bewitched his prefect badge to say "Pinhead", kept asking what everyone found so funny. Parvati was giggling until she started laughing so hard her face went red. Padma had doubled down in laughter. Lisa was giggly for minutes even after Percy noticed his badge.
Harry had barely finished his serving of pudding when Hermione and Ron came over.
"Merry Christmas," Ron greeted, before going quiet at once and whispering, "We've got news on the potion. It's ready."
Hermione nodded, "We've only got enough for two bottles because someone knocked over the cauldron, and said someone- er- Myrtle, wouldn't stop crying, so there's... there's only enough for two full beakers, and that's what we're going to have to work with."
"What does Myrtle crying have to do with the potion?" asked Padma.
"I had a bit more potion, but in the bit I barely managed to salvage from what fell... she kept crying and wailing, and the floor started flooding because she turned on the faucets.... Well... let's just say we're not going to see Myrtle or that beaker anytime soon. She's a bit... er, green. Anyhow, I'm not going to be doing the potion. One of you three are going to have to go as Crabbe or Goyle with Ron."
"I'll do it." Lisa said quickly. "I'm the one who suggested we do a Polyjuice Potion. But how are we going to get anything off Crabbe and Goyle that'll turn us into them?"
"Me and Hermione already worked that out! Y'see, Fred and George had these chocolate cakes that they charmed make you get the runs, but whoever they were gonna try it on left for Christmas--" Ron started to explain, and Harry's ears suddenly burned. He hoped it wasn't because of him. "-- so they gave the cakes to me, and Hermione put some sleeping draught in them-- all we've got to worry about is making sure that Crabbe and Goyle get them, and that nobody sees them when they pass out. The draught's a little slow working, and it takes a while to wear off, so we won't have to worry about either of them showing up while we interrogate Malfoy." Ron finished off. "We're pretty sure that, er, as long as they're asleep, they won't end up... er, you know."
"I got Samantha to slip the cakes over to them." Hermione chimed in, and her ears twitched. "They don't exactly trust her, but nobody really suspects her of anything. If all goes to plan, Lisa and Ron will be questioning Malfoy in minutes time."
Harry looked over at Slytherin table. But his eyes wandered past Crabbe and Goyle, who were indeed eating two chocolate cakes-- he looked all the way down the table, and looked back up and down twice more. Draco was nowhere to be found. Damn him-- how was Harry supposed to warn him if he wasn't there? Harry supposed it wasn't entirely his fault-- how could he have possibly known they'd do the potion today?-- but the voices begged to differ, and he had to admit, they put up an adequate point; Harry had told him a while ago to atleast be prepared, and it would be his own fault if he wasn't... but still, Harry had a mad urge to make sure he said something...
He got up quickly from the table, saying he had to use the bathroom ran down corridors, up stairs, and the adrenaline kept him going. He told Draco that he'd warn him for when his friends would do the potion, and he couldn't even stay true to that. It was only when he nearly ran into Percy, who was patrolling the halls, that he supposed it was a lost cause to keep trying... really, if Draco couldn't work it out on his own... to not tell Crabbe and Goyle anything, if they acted weird- which was probably going to happen... then it was his own fault.
Suddenly aware of where he was-- somewhere he didn't know-- he turned back at once. He followed the portraits he remembered asking back to the Great Hall. He felt like he was sick.
As he was getting closer, someone pulled him into a classroom. His glasses fell uneven on his face and he couldn't see who was standing over him. He saw two blurry faces he could barely make out as Hermione and Padma in the darkness.
"Sorry Harry! You were walking by really quickly." Hermione said, handing him his glasses.
"Where's Ron and Lisa? I- I couldn't get to Draco in time."
"What do you mean?" Padma asked. "And they're already gone. Crabbe and Goyle passed out in the hall a few minutes ago."
"I told Draco that I'd tell him when we got ready to do the potion! I promised I'd tell him so that he didn't say more than he'd need to because we would've been imitating his friends and he'd probably tell them things we wouldn't need to know, and I know that you all think he knows something about the Chamber, but I've already asked him, and--"
"Harry!"
"WHAT?!"
Hermione and Padma were looking at him like he had said something wrong.
"You're rambling," said Hermione slowly. "Just calm down. We're not going to blame you for telling Malfoy anything. You're... certain he doesn't know more than we do about the Chamber?"
"I'm certain. Out of all people, I think he'd atleast tell me if he did know something. Especially considering half the school thinks I'm the heir."
"We've got to get down there before Ron finds out something he shouldn't. Let's go." Padma said, pulling him out the door. "Hermione, you coming with?"
"I- I- yes," Hermione said quickly. She looked very much like she didn't want to go.
It was only once they were halfway down to the dungeons when Hermione suddenly said, "Do we even know the way to the Slytherin common room? I mean, that's got to be where they've gone, right?"
"Ugh," Padma groaned dramatically. "We don't. This is going to take forever. And if we don't find out anything useful, then Ron and Lisa are going to have wasted a lot of time. Maybe if we--"
"It's... fine," Harry said. If something slipped, it was alright-- they were gonna have to tell Ron eventually. It was just not gonna be the way he planned. But it was just inconvenient. He was tired of pretending he wasn't friends with Draco. "If they're already there, we'll have to wait anyway."
And then they returned to the same room they'd left. Hermione said they'd know where they were. Harry, Hermione, and Padma had waited for about thirty minutes before Goyle burst through the classroom door, Crabbe right after him. But at the same time, it wasn't Crabbe and Goyle; Crabbe's hair was a fiery red, and Goyle, who's hair suddenly reached his shoulders and was turning a lighter shade as it steadily continued to grow, followed behind and collapsed on the floor in a nearly dramatic manner.
"Ha-- ur- Harry! You're friends with Malfoy?!" Goyle said, Ron's voice leaking through mid-sentence.
Draco appeared in the doorway. "Harry!" He said, glaring at Ron and Lisa. But it was not for very long, because it seemed he couldn't stand the look of Ron and Lisa changing back to normal.
Ron's limbs became very long and skinny and he snorted as his nose grew longer; Lisa began to shrink, groaning-- her hair had finally reached its original length and the robes she was wearing were suddenly far too big for her.
"I regret this-- urgh-- so badly," She said, gagging as her voice gained a higher pitch. Draco slipped around her and Ron as they rolled around on the floor, grossly turning back into themselves.
"Harry, you said you'd tell me when they would do the potion!"
"I tried! I couldn't find you anywhere! I don't even remember how long I was searching!"
"Twenty minutes. He was gone for about twenty minutes. And he had us thinking something was the matter because he said he was going to the bathroom," said Padma, poking at Lisa, who had still been wailing and moaning about how the Polyjuice Potion was a horrible idea, her hands were clamped over her ears, their ends slowly shrinking and disappearing behind her fingers. Hermione had been standing over Ron, who had taken to lying pathetically on the floor and taking pained breaths.
"Well... now Ron knows we're friends. I guess we can stop pretending." said Harry.
"P- pretending?" Ron repeated. "You two were - pretending to - hate eachother just - because?"
"It's not our fault you didn't notice," said Draco, "There was, what, one occasion we didn't get along? And it was this morning."
"Well, that could be not at all," Harry said. "if you weren't a total prat."
"You're breaking the law!"
"As if the law's been enforced properly anyway--"
"You don't count, you're the 'Chosen One!' Defeater of You-Know-Who, and all! And you're still breakingalaw! And who's enforcing that law on a bunch of kids--"
"Oh, now who's the one without common sense--"
"That doesn't even--"
"One occasion," said Hermione faintly, watching them as they argued, "And they immediately make it two."