Regretting You?

AUTHOR

It took a good thirty minutes for Severus to calm down and fall into an exhausted sleep as the events of the day took a toll on him. Minerva was no different as she too fell into a deep slumber, exhausted from calming a hysterical toddler down. Minerva's peaceful slumber was broken down by Poppy's voice calling for her through the floo network. Minerva was a little disoriented as she noticed Severus was no longer with her.

"Minerva," Poppy said, her voice full of concern and worry. "There has been an incident. Harry is here." She informed frantically.
Minerva was on her feet in a second and walked towards the floo but stopped when she saw a distorted Sev standing in the hallway.

SEVERUS

I came out of my room alerted by Poppy's voice. I stopped dead in my track as my mind registered her words and I wanted to bury myself deep in the ground after what I just learned. This is all because of me, my mind processed, making guilt and worry seep up my veins as tears pooled my eyes. Minerva must have noticed the distressed look on my face as she made her way towards me. She cupped my face in her wrinkled hands and I leaned into her motherly touch. It calmed me down a bit as I tried to swallow the lump growing in my throat. She was unaware of the mental struggle I was going through as she lowered my head to press a warm kiss on my forehead.

"Don't worry, Severus," Minerva cooed, caressing my cheek. "Harry will be alright. Poppy will take great care of him. Taking my hand, the two of us walked to the Infirmary. I didn't know what to expect as fear stormed throughout my belly.

I found myself being pinned to the wall at the mercy of the wand point of a very furious-looking Draco. "You need to leave before I forget who you are and treat you like an enemy," Draco growled, making the ball of fear in my stomach intensify as I was losing my resolve to hold back the tears resting under my eyelids, threatening to fall.

"What is the meaning of this, Mr. Malfoy?" Minerva inquired, looking at Draco with what could be called a mixture of question and shock. Without waiting for an answer, she turned to Poppy as Draco lowered his wand with a sigh. "Poppy, what has happened?"

"Harry is in a magical coma of sorts," Poppy explained. "This happens in very rare cases."
"What does that even mean?" Minerva inquired again not really understanding what Poppy meant. I just stood there, anticipating her answer, nervousness bubbling up inside me.
"Magical coma is a state of persistent unconsciousness from which an individual cannot be awakened. Mostly healers have to induce the coma via a spell to slow down the amount of damage and give healing time to the body. There are very rare cases when an individual's own magic self-induces the coma in the body to deal with the damage done to their body due to a certain cause. When a Guardian is rejected, it takes a toll on their magic. Once a Guardian has bonded with his Little, if the bond is fractured or broken, it is damaging to the Guardian." She explained. A look of horror took over Minerva's features as she turned to me.

"Severus," Minerva asked, she was trying hard to keep her voice calm, not to scare me. "What did you do?" she questioned but I didn't have the courage nor the energy to answer her question. I just wanted to die, right then right there. I turned around not able to look at their disappointed sad faces anymore. Tears were streaming down my cheeks uncomfortably before I could even set foot out of the hospital wing.

As soon as I reached my chambers, I warded the door and floo, going for the stash of Fire whiskey I had stored in the back of my potion stores. I tried to drink the guilt of what I did to Harry away, but it didn't work, only increasing my self misery.

I played with the knife in my hand, the urge to slash once was overwhelming and I couldn't resist it as I bought the blade down sliding it smoothly across my wrist. The urge increased as the blade came in contact with my skin over and over and I kept going until I couldn't feel anything and the pain took away all the emotions I was feeling. Blood oozed out of the cuts, littering the floor beneath painting it red but it was the least of my concern.

It is my fault he's in the Infirmary in the first place, the phrase played on a repeat in my mind as thousands of emotions bombarded me. I felt sad and wanted my guardian back but was unsure if he would accept me after how horribly I treated him a couple of days ago. I felt like a burden to him. There was no news as I didn't allow anyone to disturb me. The last couple of days were a blur as I drowned myself in self-doubts, overdosing on fire whiskey beating myself up until exhaustion took over me and I passed out on the sofa in an uneasy slumber.

The blazing flames in the fireplace turned green which took me by surprise as I made sure to close down the floo network. I was on my feet in a fraction of seconds as Lucius' pale, pointed face came into view as he stepped out of the floo in all his glory, a smirk plastered on his face as he took in my appearance, his cold grey eyes boring into my own.

"Well, well," Lucius smirked. "Is it my itty-bitty Sevvy? I was surprised when I felt the call. I thought you had a new daddy. Did he find out that you weren't worth it?" I was scared and the urge to step back from him overtook me yet I stood my grounds but inside I was shrinking in fear, my thoughts a wild mess.

Lucius had been a big brother to me since I started Hogwarts. He always made sure to look after me during school but all this changed after he started hanging around Bella who hated me with all her guts and soon Lucius was added to the long list of people who cursed my mere presence, me being a little, which Lucius was aware of, added to his reasons of hating me.

Is he dead?" Lucius sneered, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Did he die just to get away from you?"

"No!" I shouted without giving it a second thought. "He's not." I regretted it as soon as the words left my lips. I clamped my mouth shut, eyes widening before I shut them too on impulse waiting for him to respond. A loud ringing sound echoed through the empty room as his large hand came in contact with my cheek, probably leaving a mark there from the heat and sting I felt on the area. Tears blurred my vision as I opened my eyes to look at Lucius who was standing too close to me for my comfort.

"It looks like you need to relearn your manners," Lucius sneered, conjuring a strap. "Let's go over the rules." As soon as the strap came into view fear cursed through my entire body. I was too weak to even endure the first strap as my legs wobbled and gave up on me and I fell to the floor in a fetal position, losing control over my bladder and bowels in the process far too lost in my headspace. The beating seemed to last forever. Lucius brought the strap down and I lost count after the twentieth as pain surged throughout my body. Memories played in front of my eyes from the fun times I had with Lucius, the bullying phase, all the fun with dada, each and every moment I had, happy and sad. It felt like I was watching the reel of my own life.

"You'll never see your dada again," Lucius smirked, bringing me out of my trance.
Looking at the freaky little cowering on the floor, Lucius knew what Severus was thinking.

"My dada will come," I emphasized trying to reassure myself rather than him. Lucius laughed. I shivered at the cold cackle piercing through my eardrums. Lucius leaned down and took my arm in a painful grip, forcing me to my feet. I slipped a little due to the puddle of wet under my feet. The smell of my own mess made me gag. "I think it's time to go home," Lucius said. "You will be punished for this mess."

I tried my best to stem the tears from coming back but they were streaming down my face uncomfortably even without my consent. The fear and nausea I was feeling just thinking of the worst that was about to come made me want to throw up as Lucius dragged me through the floo to a dark room that was too familiar to me.

The next few days were the worst I had ever experienced. I wanted to forget it all but nothing seemed to work as I was too weak to even conjure up the weakest occlumency shields. My daily routine now consisted of continuous beating, painting my bare body in red. A few gulps of water were all I got if I was lucky enough. I would pass out on the cold floor from exhaustion on the cold floor from time and again.

I crawled into my corner after enduring a ruthless beating from Lucius and sat there with my arms wrapped around my knees. A vision of Harry comforting me after a nightmare popped up in my head. I wanted it all to be a nightmare that I wanted to wake up from and have Harry by my side to comfort me and reassure me that he wasn't going anywhere. Tears blurred my vision as the realization of all this being real hit me hard.

A totally different hurt flooded my heart as I remembered the times Harry was there by my side. "Dada, please don't hate me. I'm sorry. I won't be a bad freak anymore. You're my dada. You're my dada. Nothing can take that away. Please come and take care of me. Show me the love you gave me. Protect me like you did. Please come, dada." Tears streamed down my face as I repeated the words again and again in my head, hoping that they would somehow reach Harry through our bond and he would be here to save me and take me away from this awful place.

It felt like my end was near as days passed with only a few gulps of water and no solid food to keep my strength. I was alone, scared and hungry, my hopes of being rescued vanishing into thin air. The pain and regret were taking a toll on me as memories kept playing in my head from the time I spent with Harry and all I did was yearn for Harry's warmth which I knew would never be there after all that had happened in the past handful of days.

With the last ounce of strength left in my body I tried to call out, "Dada, please take me." before my vision started to fade and a few moments later all I could see was infinite darkness.

With Harry in the hospital wing, who will come to Severus' rescue????