Regretting You?

HARRY

I was so caught up with Sev that I didn't notice the pained look on Pansy's face at least not until she questioned me about the toddler in my arms.

"Mind telling me whose baby are you currently holding?" She asked with a very emotionless expression on her face but her eyes told a very different story as she struggled to keep her tears at bay.
"Pansy," I said feeling really nervous and scared. "Please let me explain."
"What's there to explain?" Pansy yelled. Pain shot up in my heart as I looked at her pleadingly to let me explain. I know I would be betraying Sev if I told her the truth but I couldn't let her leave as well. I don't want to lose either of them.

My racing thoughts came to an abrupt halt as a wet sensation spread on my arm. I looked over at Sev who was staring right back at me, his eyes showcasing fear and sadness. I knew this would be hard to explain. For someone looking in, this situation was very questionable. I wanted to explain that the child was mine but not in the way she was thinking. I could see it in her face that she felt betrayed no matter how good she was at hiding it from the world. I could follow her way of thinking.

"Pans," I all but pleaded. "I've been faithful to you."
"Have you," Pansy snorted. "I seriously doubt that. The baby in your arms doesn't help your case." Tears pooled my eyes as she looked at me with anger and hate, trying to cover up the sadness she was feeling but I was able to see right through her tough act. She was hurting, Sev was hurting, and all because of me.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Pansy's voice as she raised her arms above her head. "You know what, I can't deal with this." She turned to walk out of the chambers.

Not exactly knowing how to handle the situation, I followed her to the sitting room all the way asking for her to give me just a couple of minutes to explain. It was really breaking my heart to see the two treasured people of my life sobbing uncomfortably in front of me.

I gripped Pansy's arm, keeping her from moving anymore. Pansy sighed, staring up at the ceiling.
"Pansy, please," I begged, tears now flowing down both our faces. "Please."
"Okay," Pansy turned back around to face me but not before swiping her sleeve or rather my sleeve over her face. She loved to wear my clothes which were rather too big for her but she looked so cute that I could barely tell her no. "You have got five minutes."

PANSY

I couldn't believe he was cheating on me. I tried to control my sobs as they try to escape out of my tight grasp but that was of no use. I should have known better. I am a scum, a death-eater, no one will ever accept me for who I am now. They will always look at my past and look down upon me for the dark path I was forced to follow in order to survive the war. I wanted to let go of the anger and accept my fate but it was hurting too much and didn't he at least owe me an explanation I think I deserve that much.

As I was looking everywhere but Harry as something caught my eyes. I pulled my arm out of Harry's grip and walked over to the mantle. Why didn't I notice this before?

There was only one person that had this plaque. The Slytherin class of '98 gifted Professor Snape with a plaque for giving them a chance when no one else would. He taught them to hold their heads up high no matter what was said about them. And here it was sitting on the mantle. Seeing the plaque, I started to actually take in my surroundings. The books weren't of any interest to Harry. Harry was awful at chess. That's when it all clicked into place.

I turned to face Harry who was miserably failing at comforting the hysterical toddler in his arms and was not in a good condition himself. I wanted to run to him and comfort him but the anger bubbling inside me was shielding out and overpowering any other emotions I was feeling. I desperately wanted to believe Harry but not before a proper explanation.

"This is Professor Snape's chambers, isn't it?" I asked softly, not able to process the turn of events. The one person I loved the most was cheating on me with the person I respected the most. What did I even do to stand amidst this dilemma?

The slight tremble in the child's frame as the words escaped my mouth didn't go unnoticed by me. This can't be...no...no. He can't be... I looked over at Harry to answer my question.
"Yes," Harry confessed. "This is Snape's chambers. But it's not what you think." Oh, now he is playing around with words.
"What I think?" I asked, walking closer to Harry. "What I think is there is something nefarious going on around here. This child is yours and Professor Snape's?" I posed the last statement as a question rather than a sentence but regretted it immediately as a horrified look overtook Harry's features but he concealed it quickly, his eyes softening as he studied me over. I know he was trying to control himself and understand me at the same time.

"Pansy, I'm not gay," Harry said quickly. "He's my child, but he isn't mine."
I chuckled humorlessly at his choice of words.
"You're going to have to explain that one."
"Let me put him down, and I will," He replied. "Please."

I knew I would probably regret this, but I nodded, wanting to know exactly what the matter was and the inappropriate thoughts swirling around my messed-up head weren't helping much.

Harry walked to the nursery changing and settling Sev down on the floor with a few toys to occupy him before walking out of the room. Harry knew he had to get Pansy to understand. But how? He couldn't come out saying that the baby was Professor Snape. She would laugh in his face. And, he didn't want to let out Sev's secret too but there was no way around all the mess either he let Pansy go and keep Sev's secret or he could make Pansy understand and betray Sev but the thing was he wasn't ready to do either.

I took a seat on the sofa as Harry walked out of the room he went in earlier. I saw relief wash over his face as he looked at me. He had expected me to leave. I could follow his thought process so well that he didn't need to speak a word for me to understand what he was going through. I just had this feeling that what he said was true. He wasn't betraying me but I needed to understand what exactly was going on.

Harry could see her rigid posture and cold eyes. He could feel his heart in his throat. He didn't want to lose Pansy. She was the love of his life. But he can't abandon Sev either. She must understand.

"Thank you for staying," Harry said, sitting down next to me on the sofa.

I moved away from him. I didn't want to be near him at least at this moment. I was hurt. A baby. I knew that Harry wanted to father a child. I just thought that it would be me to give him that child. Not some nefarious affair. Or even if he adopted one wasn't I supposed to know?

"Pansy, please," Harry started, swallowing a bit as his voice cracked and he looked about to burst right there. "In matters, I can't go into. You have to know that the baby may not be my blood, but he is mine."

I studied him and by the look of it he wasn't lying.

"Okay, then who is he? And where is Professor Snape? He's never been a coward not to face his problems."
"Pansy," Harry pleaded. "Yes, this is Professor Snape's chambers. Yes, I live here now. But I swear to you, it is not what you think. I love you."
"I can't believe you," I said letting a few tears leak out of my eyes.

I wanted to say more, but the words were caught in my throat. I needed to get out of these chambers. It was suffocating, to say the least, and so I got up and stepped away from the sofa, but couldn't get far as a pair of arms framed me against the wall not giving me a chance to fight. Harry tilted his face closer to mine and melded our lips together. At first, I tried to resist and push him away but the love and passion in the kiss had me giving in. Our tongues dancing together as our hands worked on their own accord exploring each other. The love radiating off us could be felt engulfing us in a sphere of warmth and care. For those few moments, there was nothing else in the world but us. There was no hurt, no deceit—just passionate, heartfelt love and at that moment, I was certain that whatever the situation is, it is not one from my imagination or perhaps it was because I could feel that Harry was more than a father to the child. They shared something I needed to understand.

We pulled away short of air and tried to catch our breath as our foreheads rested against each other. "I love you," Harry whispered, brushing his lips over my eyes and forehead. "You are the only one for me. I am only for you." The sincerity in his words made me weak and I leaned into his arms, wrapping my own around his waist and pressing a light kiss on his chest before placing my head there, listening to his steady heartbeat that calmed me down more than anything.

"Please," I whispered not looking up at him. "Tell me something."

Before Harry could come up with an answer, he looked down to the toddler sitting on the floor, clutching his pant leg in his tiny fist while the other one was rubbing his tear-filled eyes as he tried to stem the tears that were flowing down his chubby cheeks. There was something too familiar about those large, innocent black orbs. But it can't be. How?

Harry leaned down and picked the baby up. The toddler curled onto Harry's shoulder, burying his head in Harry's neck as Harry rubbed soothing circles on his back. Shushing him and slightly swaying. I couldn't help but notice how natural Harry was. I wanted to let go of the hurt, but I couldn't. Not until I understood.

"Shh," Harry soothed the toddler who wasn't moving, his eyes tightly shut but the tears escaping his closed eyelids were proof much that he wasn't sleeping. "No tears."

"Pese don leave," he sobbed.

"Leave?" Harry questioned, a concerned look overtaking his features as he looked down at the bundle in his arms. "Why would I do that?"
"You love her an not Sev," Sev cried. His little shoulders shaking from the uncomfortable sobs escaping his beak.

I gasped as the name finally registered. It couldn't be. It just can't. I looked at Harry for confirmation and then back to the toddler in his arms. My hands rushed to cover my mouth in an attempt to hide my shocked face. Well, I have anticipated this but that didn't make it any less of a news.
"Sev," My voice came out in a high pitch which I tried to control as I saw Sev flinch in Harry's arms. "You...you mean...no. No, it couldn't be true," shaking my head to clear out my conflicting thoughts.

"Pansy," Harry said softly. "You know my classification is Guardian. I've bonded with my Little. Please calm down, love."
"No," I said still not believing my eyes. I stepped closer to Harry and looked closely at the toddler in his arms. In the toddler's eyes, I could see it. I was looking at my former Head of House.

Professor Snape was a little and that too Harry's little. This is going to be interesting.

What will Harry do now???
Will Severus approve of Pansy knowing his secret????