Regulus
Regulus stared at the door for a long time after James left.
He loved me too, he thought.
The boy who Regulus spent years crushing on, liked him back. Regulus snapped out of his haze and quickly pulled on some of his clothes and ran out of his flat. Running down onto the street looking for where James parked his car, but it was nowhere to be found.
“Shit, shit, shit,” he muttered, running back inside.
He grabbed his phone, and he saw all the notifications he had. It immediately clicked in his mind. Some of these messages were weeks old, but James didn’t know that.
“Fuck,” Regulus hissed, dropping his phone on the bed and plopping down on the floor.
~~~
Regulus was staring at the pictures of James and some red-haired girl. James was smiling so hard; Regulus could see his dimple. They looked cute together.
He turned his phone off when he heard Cardoc groaning next to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. Regulus pulled away from him and got up to change.
“Good morning to you too,” Cardoc scoffed at Regulus.
Regulus just rolled his eyes and walked out of the man’s apartment. Checking his phone to see the time he noticed that Sirius had called him multiple times, so he called him back.
“What do you want?” Regulus snapped.
“Woah good morning to you too sunshine,” Sirius responded just as irritated, “I called you like twenty times last night.”
“I was busy,” Regulus said, pulling up his hood and putting on sunglasses and walking to his car and getting in.
“You’re always fucking busy,” Sirius hissed.
“It’s eight in the morning, what do you want?” he turned on the ignition and drove off.
“Ha, you think eight is early, try five.”
Oh, that’s right, Sirius was in California…with James.
“If you don’t tell me what you want, I’m hanging up,” Regulus scoffed.
“Do you know what’s coming up?” Sirius asked, irritated.
“I don’t really care what’s coming up, unless it’s about me,” Regulus said sarcastically, but he genuinely didn’t know what was coming up.
He heard Sirius sigh sadly and say quietly, “It’s my birthday next week…”
“Oh yeah…” he swallowed, feeling terrible.
“I’m having a party at Remus’s and mine’s house…if you want to come.”
“Um… I don’t know if I’ll be free…” Regulus said, internally cursing himself for not making sure he had his brother's birthday free.
“Yeah, I figured…Anyways, I have to go, we’re going on a morning hike…see you or whatever,” Sirius spoke into the phone then hung up.
~~~
There Regulus stood, outside of Sirius’ and Remus’s house. He pulled at the neck of his jumper and nervously knocked on the door. No one opened it for a few seconds. He knocked again.
Sirius swung open the door and his eyes widened, and a smile creeped up on his lips, “Regulus?”
“Happy birthday,” he said awkwardly before handing Sirius his gift.
“Come in!” Sirius dragged him in the house. He reeked of alcohol.
Regulus didn’t know Sirius knew so many people. Everybody had a red cup in their hands as they swayed to the music blasting in the living room. They pushed past them and made their way to the kitchen. That’s where Regulus saw him.
He was standing on top of a table, wearing a cropped t-shirt. His baggy jeans rode low on his waist. James was moving his body suggestively, holding a drink in one hand and the other was grabbing the waist of some guy with green streaks in his hair, Regulus had never met him before.
“Get to where you wanna go, don't you know what I mean. Got a ride that’s smoother than a limousine,” James sang from where he was standing on top of the table. Regulus’ mouth dropped open, practically drooling. Everyone was cheering them on.
They began to grind against each other as they sang, “Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights? If you can, baby boy, then we can go all night.”
“GET IT PRONGS!” Sirius yelled from where he and Regulus were standing. James looked over and winked at Sirius, before he spotted Regulus.
James looked taken aback, and almost dropped his cup. The other man turned around to see who James was staring at. He whispered something into James’ ear. Regulus never felt like punching anyone more. James lightly nodded as the song came to an end. The two of them hopped off and began walking towards a certain redhead woman and blonde man. Regulus recognized the girl; she was the one from James’ pictures. The green haired boy whispered something into the both of them and they snapped their heads to look at Regulus, glaring at him.
James was looking in his drink not acknowledging anything. Then the blonde-haired man said something to James, he nodded back.
The three people came walking over to him and Sirius, while James made his way to the front of the house.
“Sirius!”
“Barty! Evan! Lily! How are you enjoying the party? Oh, this is my little brother Regulus,” Sirius slightly slurred. So, Barty was the name of the man, good to know, Regulus thought
“Nice to meet you, Regulus. Hey, James, came down with something we might have to go,” the boy named Evan said loudly over the music.
“Yeah, he told me he felt like he was going to pass out when we were dancing,” Barty said, glaring at Regulus.
Lily didn’t even say anything, she just stared at Regulus.
“Is he okay?” Sirius asked, concerned.
“Yeah, he’s fine, just a little…sick?” Barty spoke unconvincingly.
“Well let me at least get you guys cake.”
“No that’s fine–” Lily began.
“Bullshit, come on Remus will get you guys some. Remus! Can you pack up some cake for Evan and Barty,” Sirius called out to his boyfriends, dragging the three friends into the kitchen.
Regulus watched them go and then turned to follow James out. He pushed past people like a man on a mission.
He walked out the door where he saw James pacing the sidewalk, his hand tugging on his hair. Regulus had a sudden impulse to walk over there and take it out. He wanted to smooth out the boy’s unruly hair, to touch the soft and fluffy curls.
James was muttering to him, tears seemed to slide down his cheeks.
Regulus was hit with all different emotions. His chest hurt because he knew he was the reason James was so fucking messed up. His throat closed up with regret and he too felt like spilling his tears.
“James,” he said quietly, walking over to him.
James’ head snapped up to look at him as Regulus stopped right in front of him. James looked down at him, eyes wide.
“James…”
“No, no, no. What are you doing here?” James asked.
Regulus scoffed, “It’s my brother’ birthday.”
“Exactly, why are you out here when you should be in there?” James pointed at the door.
Regulus shifted his weight, “I…just wanted to see you…We haven’t seen each other in a while.”
James scoffed, “I know, Regulus. Trust me, I know.”
“You left pretty suddenly that night.”
“No, I’m not about to do this with you right now, okay? Just go back inside, enjoy your brother’s birthday and then go home, I know you have someone waiting for you,” James turned his back towards Regulus, hugging himself with his arms.
“James, I don’t have anyone waiting at home for me,” Regulus tried.
“You really expect me to believe that?”
“Yes, I do,” Regulus said firmly.
James faced him again, “Then tell me the truth, when’s the last time you’ve slept with someone.”
“Last week,” Regulus said quietly.
“See,” James scoffed.
“I was jealous…of you and that girl…Lily. I saw your post and…I-I thought you found someone else, so I was trying to get back at you…” Regulus said pathetically, “But I swear, that was the last time since you left.”
James just stared at him, eyes boring into his skull.
He sighed sadly, “What are you trying to do, Regulus? You come talk to me after weeks of not even texting me. You make me feel like absolute shit, that my only use was for sex. To make you happy. When all I did was feel utterly disgusted with myself.”
Regulus stayed quiet for a moment, “I’ve loved you for a long time, too.”
“Fuck no, you don’t get to pull that card,” James cut him off.
“It’s true–.”
“NO!” James shouted, he was crying, “If you think that I’m just going to take you back, you’re so fucking wrong!”
“James, please. Let me make it up to you. Let me prove to you that all I’ve ever wanted was you. I did all of that for the image, all the fake relationships, the PR stunts, didn’t mean anything. You were the only special thing I had. You were the person that I longed for when I got back home,” Regulus begged James, and he never begged.
“So why did you never say anything! Why did you never try to make me feel like I meant something to you!” James’ voice cracked, as he covered his mouth with his hands.
“I don’t know.”
“Fuck you, Regulus!” James yelled, walking towards him, “Fuck you!”
James was sobbing now as he dropped to his knees, body shaking with tears. It reminded Regulus of the night when James left. Regulus looked at James on the floor and sank to his knees, he pulled James close to him. Tears flooded his eyes as James fell into his lap, tucking his face in Regulus' neck.
“I’m sorry, James,” Regulus whispered, stroking James' hair.
“Please, give me one more chance,” he continued, voice shaking, “I will make this right.”
James’ sobs subsided, then he took a breath, “One more chance, Regulus. But please don’t mess this up. My heart won’t be able to take it a second time.”
“I’ll love you right this time, I promise.”