A Day Unlike Any Other
Today i was vlogging like i usually do but this time i was going to go to that abandoned castle that ive been wanting to go to forever. Turns out i that the love of my life (other than Charlie) lives there and his name is Lord Farquaad. He is the sexiest and shortest person i have
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ever had the privilege to lay eyes on. He caught me while I was on my tour of the castle, and asked the guide to go so he could give a personal tour. I knew from the very first moment that's not what he intended we'd spend all our time doing, though. After a couple rooms throughout the castle, and vlogging, he stood up on a desk to be able to reach and take my camera. He set it down.
"Owen I know I've only just met you... but you're so cute and I just needed to let you know face to face," the Lord proclaimed. I was in awe. I began to tear off his shirt and make-out with him ferociously.
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While we were making out i began to kiss his neck and when i got to his chest i felt something in my throat i pull away a cough... it was a hairball made out of the hair on his chest it was kinda hot tbh. I'm pretty sure he thought it was hot too bc he started licking my hair and then coughed up a hairball. It was the hottest more sexiest thing ive ever seen anyone do but then someone knocked on the door.
"Sir there is someone here to see you."
"I dont care im with the sexiest person i have ever seen so leave me alone."