Chapter 3
"Alice not now." I said before hanging up and placing my phone on my desk, getting few stares from my coworkers. "So who was that?" Olivia asks me, making me sigh before answering "My mom" i told her, i really don't like sharing my childhood. Even though i had been working in the svu for a motnh and gotten closer to everyone, not that close to tell them. Olivia just nodded before getting back to work and i did the same, after a while Alex entered yelling about some evidence, nothing new but definitely something i didn't expect.
"How am i supposed to get them in jail if you don't get enough evidence for the judge?" She asked Olivia and Elliot, they had a thing for getting yelled at by lawyers and our captain. "Hey we did our job, we got every evidence we could, thats our job." Elliot said, i could see how Alex's blood started boiling but i stayed out of it knowing it was none of my business. "Well get me more, he'll never go to jail without more evidence." And just like that Alex left, leaving us think about any possible evidence we missed.
It was now 6pm, Alex had come back to brainstorm with us about the evidence, me and Alex were taking coffee when i saw a familiar face walk into the squad asking for me "Excuse me for a moment" i said and left Alex and my coffee. "Vivienne, i've missed you!" My mother said as she hugged me, "what do you want now?" i hissed back, looking uncomfortable as she hugged me and well i think about everyone saw it. "What i can't visit my favorite child?" Gosh how she makes my blood boil. "You only visit when you need something so what now, i'm busy." I said as i dragged her into an empty office, getting again stares from my coworkers, especially Alex, who i'd have grown fond of.
"What do you think that was about?" Olivia asked Alex as she poured herself coffee, Alex was still looking into the office. She wouldn't admit it to anyone but she likes Vivienne, but she wasn't sure if it was just as friends or more. "I don't know, i think its alright to say that its her mother" Alex answered before sipping her coffee, Olivia started talking about the case for a while but then they heard yelling from the office Vivienne had gone with her mother.
"I was never your baby, i was only a maybe!" I said a bit loudly as she opened the door, i knew i shouldn't have said it, it didn't take long for her palm to hit my cheek hard enough to leave a red hand print. Everyone came rushing, Alex, Olivia, captain and Elliot, i just shook my head and they understood letting my mother leave, but before she left she said "You know damn well its your fault he's in prison" and then she left like nothing, like she hadn't just striked her only child.
Alex came quickly to my side, inspecting the red handprint on my face, asking me questions i couldn't hear because i had dissociated when her hand hit my cheek. All i could focus on was the pain on my leg again, i couldn't even feel Alex's hand on my cheek, trying to get me back to reality. "I'm fine" Was all i could get out before walking out of the office, grabbing my jacket and going to the elevator. Once i got out of the station i made sure my mother wasn't anywhere near me before i walked to the bench where i had smoked daily since starting in svu, i lit my cigarette and put it between my lips taking breaths from it. I was still trying to get myself grounded, remind myself i was safe.
It took a while to get back to normal but i made it, a while after i saw a tall familiar blonde walk towards the bench and sit next to me, i could feel her eyes on the cheek my mother striked on. "Are you okay? Oh well thats a dumb question of course you're not" Alex said breaking the silence as i put out the cigarette before letting out a sigh, "I'm fine, well as fine as i can be now." i said, feeling the pain on my leg, seeing how my leg was trembling slightly, so i just crossed my legs. "You know you can talk to me right?" She said, damn those words. Seven words, how can seven words be so hard but also so good to hear from someone? "I know, i know" I said with a slight smile on my face before saying "Childlike mother and a motherly child, we fight like wolves but flee like birds. Everything she hates about me is a cruel, sick DNA guarantee." i said softly and quietly but loud enough for her to hear.
Alex's face was something i could not describe, the mixture between sadness, guilt and pity. She just nodded, i guessed she couldn't think of anything to say so we sat in silence for a while before we decided to get inside. When we were in the elevator i looked into the mirror inspecting my cheek, i had a red handprint which was becoming a bruise on my cheek, i touched it slightly but it still hurt like hell. "I have concealer, i could help you cover it?" Alex asked softly, i just nodded and when we got out of the elevator she took me to the locker rooms, leading me to sit on the chair as she got her bag out. She tilted my head so she could get it all covered, of course it hurt like hell but she tried her best to not hurt me more. It was silent, but this silence was nice, comfortable, her hands softly touching my cheek to cover the bruise, i felt so vulnerable at that point with Alex, but i felt also safe with her.
"There, now its covered the best i could" She said putting her stuff back to her bag "Thank you Alexandra, i appreciate it so much" i said with a sight smile, i felt bad for keeping her here but i also had a feeling she wanted to be here. "Its nothing really, i was glad i could help you" She said putting a hand on my shoulder, after few seconds i got up and hugged her, something i would not usually do but now i was comfortable enough to hug her. She was shocked probaby since it took a few seconds to hug me back but when she did, i melted into her arms, this was the feeling i had been looking for so long. Just to be able to melt into someones arm, feeling completely safe and comfortable with them. Maybe i had started having feelings towards Alex of course i'd never tell anyone, by the time i pulled out of the hug, my leg pain had gone away for a short time.