Draco madly searched the kitchen cabinets for the pack of Jammie Dodgers that he knew he purchased last week. He slammed shut the cabinet he swore he put him in and let out a frustrated groan. They were Teddy’s favorite, and he wanted their tea party to be perfect. His cousin was quite frankly obsessed with tea parties, in part due to his best friend, Carrie. According to Andy, that’s all they played whenever they had free time.
“Looking for these?” Harry pointed to the packet on the counter next to the toaster.
“Yes! Thank you!” Draco grabbed the biscuits and tore open the package, taking one out for himself. “Have you been back long?” he asked before he took a bite of one.
He shrugged. “I don’t think so. Have you taken your potion today?”
Draco rolled his eyes as he pulled down a plate. “Is that really the first thing you have to say? No ‘Hi honey, how are you?’ or ‘Excited for today?’” He arranged the Jammie Dodgers into an artful pattern before going down the hall to the dining room.
Harry followed him. “Honey, the first thing I did was point out the very thing you were looking for. I was helping you.”
Draco set the plate down with a decisive thunk before crossing his arms defensively. Waiting.
“I’m sorry. Let’s start again. Hi, Draco! How are you doing today?”
“I’m doing great, dear. Just preparing for tea with Andromeda and Teddy.”
“You sure you’re not a little stressed… You seem a bit tense.”
“You don’t say,” Draco drawled as he fussed with a spoon that was already straight. “I’ve heard that Teddy really enjoys tea parties. I want it to be perfect.”
“He’s five–”
“Six.”
“Six. It’s okay if it isn’t perfect.”
Draco knew that his own six year old self would’ve thrown a tantrum if everything wasn’t perfect. But Teddy wasn’t raised like he was. He was much more well-rounded and better tempered than he was at the same age. He rubbed his eyes. Everything was fine.
Harry peered at him from the other side of the table. “Do you need a headache draught?”
He shook his head. “I’m fine. My head doesn’t hurt. And to answer your earlier question, yes, I took my potion today.”
“I promise I wasn’t trying to nag you or anything. But you know…”
Draco nodded. He very much did know exactly what Harry was implying. He didn’t want to think about it, despite the hippogriff in the room, so to speak. “I haven’t been sleeping well the past few nights.” Or at all, really.“I’m sure that’s why I’m so frazzled.”
“Well, after their visit today, I’m sure you’ll be able to get some sleep. You’ll be done stressing, after all.”
Yes, Draco was sure he could just tell his mind to stop and all would be well again. As if his brain could be rational while he felt like this. If he could do such a thing, he wouldn’t have a daily potion. Of course, he didn’t say any of this to Harry. He merely smiled and nodded, like an idiot in love. But could he still be in love? That was a question for him to ponder later, as he lay in bed, waiting for sleep to claim him before his thoughts could consume him instead.
He heard the Floo flare from the other room, and so did Harry. “I’ll leave you to it,” he said as he exited back out into the hall. Part of Draco wanted to call him back, say that he couldn’t do this alone. He knew he couldn’t though. With a sigh, he made his way to the parlour and plastered a smile onto his face.
Andromeda was spelling the soot off of Teddy’s clothes when he entered. She glanced up and noticed him right away. “Good afternoon, Draco! How are you today?”
“I’m doing– oof.” Teddy, with a joyous yell of ‘Draco!’ had launched himself at him with way more force than any six year old should have, in his opinion. As he struggled not to drop the boy, he repeated, “I’m doing great.”
“I’ve missed you so much! Did you have a good trip? Did you have a lot of fun? I have so much to tell you. Did you know that Uncle George got me a fake wand for my birthday?”
“No, I didn’t,” he replied as he carried Teddy into the dining room. He set him down as they entered, and gestured to the table. “What do you think?”
“You did this all for me?” He ran around the table, taking in the tea set, sandwiches, and various biscuits. His hair shifted from his usually mousy brown towards a more golden colour, to more align with Draco’s own silvery blond locks.
“Of course. I’m terribly sorry to have missed your birthday. I hope to make it up to you today.”
“Go on, Teddy,” Andromeda chided, “pick out where you’d like to sit.”
The boy eagerly sat at the head of the table, with Andromeda and Draco sitting down on either side of him. “You have all my favourites!”
“Of course I do! It’s your birthday we’re celebrating. Now, what would you like first, a sandwich or a scone?”
“A scone, please.” Draco gave him his pastry and passed him the small pots of jam and clotted cream while Andromeda tapped the teapot with her wand to warm it up.
“And what about you?” he asked his aunt.
“I can take care of myself, don’t you worry. And you can relax. Neither of us will bite.”
“I’m used to tea being a formal affair, is all.”
His aunt chuckled. “Well, this is a tea party. Things are much more relaxed nowadays.”
Draco poured himself a cup of tea, placing in a teaspoon of sugar and a squeeze of lemon. Andromeda prepared tea for herself and Teddy, and he paid attention so he would know how to make it for them in the future. He was sure Harry already knew how his guests took their tea, but he couldn’t very well ask him about it, seeing as he had disappeared when they arrived.
“Are you going to eat something or just stare at the sandwiches?” Teddy asked.
Draco shook himself out of his thoughts, glancing at his aunt to see if she was concerned at all. She appeared to not have noticed. “I’m going to take an egg and crest, I think. Can I get one for you?”
“Can I have a turkey and cheese?”
“Of course.” He plopped one onto his cousin’s plate. “So, I heard you have a new pet?”
“That’s right,” Teddy enthusiastically nodded. “Grammy got me a toad for my birthday! I named him Bernard. He’s green and his skin is bumpy. He’s so big that I have to hold him with two hands.” He held his own out to demonstrate. “I think Bernard’s small enough that he could fit in only one of your hands!”
“Oh wow! That’s a big responsibility. Are you doing a good job of taking care of Bernard?”
“Yep! I feed him every day, and I make sure his water bowl is full. And once a week I help Grammy clean out his terrarium! His house is right next to my bed, so he’s the first thing I see when I wake up in the mornings!”
“It sounds like you and Bernard have lots of fun.”
“We really do!” Teddy took a bite of his sandwich. “How was your trip?”
“It was… enlightening.”
“Was does enlightening mean?”
“It means I learned something new.”
“Did you visit a museum? That’s how I learn lots of things. I like looking at all the fossils!”
“No, there were no museum visits. I was mostly in the same building, as it was for work.”
“That sounds boring.”
Draco gave him a sad smile. “It was quite boring at times. But it was also vitally important for me to be there. I wish I could’ve attended your birthday. Why don’t you tell me about it.”
“Well, it was held at the local park so Carrie could come. She’s my best friend. She brought her football with her, which was great because none of my cousins are really old enough to chase around. I couldn’t have any sparklers on the cake since we were in a muggle area, but George made some cool color-flame candles. Each flame matched the color of the candle! Grammy gave me Benard earlier in the day, but I had a bunch of other presents, including the fake wand. It was a lot of fun.”
“Would you like one more present?”
“Of course!” Teddy shouted, jumping to his feet. With a stern glance from Andromeda, he continued in a more moderate tone. “I mean, yes, please.”
“Let me go get it.” Draco stood up and walked over to his bedroom. He was half-disappointed that Harry wasn’t lounging around in here. Opening up his wardrobe, he pulled out a large rectangular package that was pushed to the back. He remembered when Harry found it just after Christmas. It was even on sale. He was so excited when he came home, exclaiming how he had found Teddy the perfect birthday gift before explaining exactly what he had purchased for his godson.
He hefted the red-wrapped gift into his arms and carefully made his way back to the dining room. He set it onto the other end of the table. Andromeda took one look at it and declared, “I think it would be better if that was opened in the other room, where there’s more space.”
Draco agreed. “That’s probably a good idea.” He picked it back up and led them to the parlour, setting the gift down in front of the hearth. Teddy eagerly sat down behind it, running his hands along the paper as if he could divine what was inside from touch alone. The adults settled down on the couch, with Draco steadfastly ignoring the bespeckled man now perched next to him on the arm of the sofa. Of course he decided to show up now. “Go on and open it, Teddy.”
The boy didn’t need to be told twice, tearing into the wrapping paper with abandon. “A Hot Wheels Race Track!” he shrieked. “Look, it even has a loop de loop, like Carrie’s brother’s does! Thank you so much, Draco!” He once again launched himself at his cousin, but Draco was prepared this time. And sitting down.
He hugged the boy back. He wanted to say that he shouldn’t be thanking him, but his godfather instead. He held his tongue, however. After all, Harry was. “I’m glad you like it.”
Teddy wiggled out from his grasp and turned towards Andromeda. “Can I open it now, Grammy?”
“As long as it’s okay with Draco, dear.”
“That’s fine with me, as long as you don’t mind assembling it, Andromeda.”
She waved Draco’s request away. “Of course. This isn’t the first muggle playset I’ve put together, and it probably won’t be the last.” She pulled out her wand and waved it. The box opened, and out came all the track pieces. They began to assemble themselves together, and it was ready for Teddy to use within a minute. “One time, Ted insisted we build Dora’s Barbie Dreamhouse by hand, the way his own parents had to build his sister’s. After two hours, we agreed that magic was much better than any muggle instruction sheets.”
“I definitely agree with you.” Draco couldn’t picture himself snapping lengths of tracks together one by one, or painstakingly putting together a doll house.
Andromeda stood up from the sofa. “Draco and I are going to talk in the dining room, okay Teddy?”
“That’s fine,” he absentmindedly replied. He was too focused on cranking a car up to the top of the track.
Draco obediently followed his aunt to the dining room. She recast the warming charm on the teapot and poured herself another cup before sitting down. “So, how are you really doing? Settling into a routine?”
“Yes, I am. And I’ve been taking my potion daily.”
“So you’re improving?”
“They wouldn’t have released me from St. Mungo’s if I was still considered a threat to myself and others, Andromeda!” He desperately wished that Harry was here with him, and quickly dismissed that thought. He was a crutch.
“I know that, but I find it interesting that you don’t have your wand.”
“I can’t use it until I’ve been on the potion for four weeks. If everything checks out during my appointment Tuesday, I’ll get it back.”
“I do want you to have a relationship with Teddy, you know. I just worry about you having an episode, especially since you live alone.”
“I don’t need a keeper.” Draco scoffed. “That’s what my Healers are for.”
Andromeda shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. I’ve witnessed the Black madness firsthand with my sister. I saw how isolating it made her, in some respects. If you would like to move in with us, you’re more than welcome to.”
“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Draco insisted.
“It’s not imposing if you’re invited, dear. I understand if you don’t wish to leave.” She reached over and gently patted his hand. “There’s lots of memories of you and Harry here.”
“I miss him.” Blunt and to the point.
“Teddy keeps asking me for stories about his godfather. I’ve run out of things to tell him. You knew him much better than me. Would you be willing to share a few with him?”
Draco couldn’t help but think of the Harry he met on the train ride first year, who knew nothing about the Wizarding community, or even his own family. He couldn’t let his cousin grow up the same way. Teddy deserved to know all about his valiant, brave, funny godfather, and not what was written into every history book. He deserved the true stories, of secret clubs, a magical map, a bitter Quidditch rivalry. It would hurt, but it would be nice to remember the good times for once.
“Of course, Aunt Andromeda.”
Later that evening, after Jammie Dodgers and Hot Wheel races, Draco bid his aunt and cousin a good night. While he cleaned up the remnants of their tea party, Harry appeared in the corner of the dining room.
Draco set down the stack of plates. “What is it? I’ve had a long day.”
“I know.” Harry walked towards him, and stopped when he was about an arm’s length away. Just out of reach, as usual. “I just wanted to say thank you for agreeing to talk about me. Teddy deserves to know how much I love him, and I’m so glad you’re here to do that.”
“It would be even better if you were actually here, instead of a figment of my mind!” Draco replied, already resigned. “I’d rather have the real you back instead of the one my mind conjures.”
Harry disappeared once again, and Draco leaned heavily against the wall. Only a few more days, and the potion should start to work. He’ll stop seeing Harry in the corner of his eye. Stop hearing his helpful comments. He’ll find a new normal. He has to.