“The fuck is a harvest festival anyway? I’m not harvesting anything. I don’t know anyone who’s ever harvested anything.”
Remus looked up from his crossword. “You’re forgetting the time we tried to grow weed in greenhouse three in sixth year.”
“That could never be considered a harvest.” Sirius shook his head. “That was possibly the most disappointed I’ve ever been.”
Remus raised an eyebrow before going back to his crossword. “Apparently there’s a short service in the church and everyone takes in food like pasta and soup to be distributed to food banks. I could do without the church shit, but the rest seems like a decent idea.”
“I’ve never been in a church before,” Sirius said quietly. “Do you think I’ll be ok?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not going to burn or melt or whatever?” He looked genuinely worried and Remus put the paper down. “Y’know. Gay.”
“I think you’re thinking of vampires sweetheart,” He smiled. “If I’m alright in there, you’ll be fine too.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely.” He opened his arms and Sirius slipped into them immediately. “I wish we didn’t have to, but Teddy’s excited about singing a bunch of songs about plants apparently.”
“There’s going to be kids singing?” Sirius buried his face in Remus’ chest. “Ugh. Why does he even go to a school with a church?”
“Because we all decided it was the best school, despite the church link. It’s pretty much just in name only at this point. They made little clay tea-light holders for Diwali last week.”
“Yeah, only in name until we have to go to fucking church,” Sirius muttered. “Four queer heathens just rocking up to support our kid. The vicar will love that.”
“I doubt she’ll even notice.” Remus rolled his eyes, “We’re going. For Teddy.”
“Well of course we are.” He said quickly, “I’m just going to whinge to you about it until it’s done.”
“I know you are,” He smiled.
“Hey, a werewolf, a metamorphagus, a reformed convict and a guy with six pet dragons walk into a church.” Sirius grinned, “There must be a joke in that somewhere."
"You've got four days to figure it out. I believe in you."