Beam Me Up
Remus had left for work by the time Sirius emerged the next morning. He’d barely slept. As he put the kettle on he debated sending Edgar an owl and calling the whole thing off. How was he supposed to know if he was doing the right thing?
After two cups of tea and a lot of staring into space, he decided to go on the date on Saturday and then evaluate how he felt. Maybe he should have just talked to Remus about whatever was going on between them. But that would make James right, and that just wouldn’t do. Plus all the other reasons that had seemed so important when he’d said them out loud.
He’d try and talk to Remus when he got home from work. He'd make them both a nice dinner and they could just… be normal? Normal meant cuddling on the sofa and instinctively reaching for Remus just because. That wasn’t going to fly anymore, was it? As much as they’d convinced themselves that it was just part of their friendship, it was also part of the other thing, and that was all going to change now.
Sirius was still cooking when Remus got home. As much as Remus just wanted to crawl under his duvet and sulk some more, he was determined, perhaps after a day spent allowing himself to flirt back and forth a little bit with Davey, and enjoying it, to not let whatever Sirius was doing affect their friendship. Because that had to be the most important thing.
He poked his head into the kitchen and smiled as he saw Sirius, hair pinned up with a wooden spoon, looking into the oven and frowning slightly.
“The oven works better if you keep the door closed, you know.”
Sirius jumped, closed the oven door and shot him a mutinous look before relaxing. “Fuck. Didn’t hear you get back.”
“Only just walked in the door, lo- Um. What’s for dinner? It smells amazing.” Remus sat down at their tiny kitchen table.
“Lasagne. I followed a recipe!” Sirius looked very proud of himself. “You feeling better today?”
“Yeah, I— Yes. Thank you.” Remus dragged his teeth over his lower lip.
“Good.” Why was this so awkward? “I, uh— I have a date this weekend.”
“Yeah, Lily popped in after work yesterday and mentioned it while she was here. Good for you. It’s been ages since you did the whole… dating thing.” Remus wished desperately with every word he said that he’d just magically stop talking. “You could do better than Bones, though.”
“You think so?” He frowned.
“Oh, not that he’s not hot. He’s definitely hot. Maybe he’s changed since school. I suppose we’re not the same people that we were a year ago.”
“I suppose not.” He wasn’t sure how much Lily had told Remus, but based on his reaction, he’d wager that she’d given him very little information about why Sirius was going out with Edgar if she’d mentioned it at all. Well, that was something. Fuck. This was such a mess already.
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There was still a stiltedness to their interactions as the week went on. Neither of them brought up going to the pub on Friday night. Remus said he had plans with Mary anyway and Sirius thought nothing of it. The two of them met up occasionally to talk about books. He stayed in and half of him paid attention to the telly, and half of him was a ball of anxiety that couldn’t focus on a single thing. He eventually went to bed fairly early to try and shut his brain up. He didn’t hear Remus come back, and when Sirius got up to go to work on Saturday morning, Remus’ bedroom door was closed.
Lily left St Mungos on Saturday evening after her shift and had planned to stop in at Flourish and Blotts on her way home. Halfway down Diagon Alley, she spotted someone trying to hide behind an open Daily Prophet. She sighed and sat down on the bench next to him.
“You know that you own an invisibility cloak, right?” James jumped. “Why are you hiding behind the paper? Are you spying on Sirius and Edgar? They’re not meeting for another half an hour.”
“No,” James whispered, “I’m spying on Remus and Mary!”
Lily’s jaw dropped. “Remus and Mary?”
“Shh!” James pulled her behind the newspaper and she grabbed the other side of it. “They’re in Florean’s and they’ve been feeding each other ice cream. It’s actually quite obnoxious. Look!”
“Mary?!” Lily whispered looking over the paper through the front window of the ice cream shop just as Remus laughed at something Mary had said. He looked quite at ease. “Mary MacDonald?”
James nodded, “Yeah, it’s weird, right?”
“Very. I shared a room with her for seven years and she never mentioned—” She nodded. “I think both of them have been avoiding me since Tuesday.”
“Remus and Mary?”
She shook her head, “Sirius. He blew me off for lunch yesterday.”
“Yeah I thought we’d end up at the pub last night but I haven’t heard from him all week.” James brushed a few strands of long red hair off her face, “I made everything awful, and I don’t think I can fix it.”
“You may have started this, but maybe it was inevitable. It was going to blow up one way or another, I think we all just hoped it would go the other way.” She squeezed his arm. “They’ll figure it out. This won’t last.”
“I hope so.” James peeked over the top of the paper towards Florean’s. “Oh, shit.” He noticed Remus and Mary leave the shop, hand in hand and as they got to the corner of the building, Mary pulled him towards her and Lily audibly gasped and covered her mouth as they kissed. It didn’t look like a first kiss, either. Neither of them hesitated for a second
“We need to leave.” Lily hissed suddenly. James followed her eyes across the street.
They weren’t the only ones who had seen Mary pull Remus in (or, well down) for a kiss. Sirius, uncharacteristically early for his date, was standing outside The Leaky Cauldron, forgotten cigarette in hand, eyes wide. They both ducked behind the paper again.
“Do you think Remus planned this?” James asked.
“Nah, probably deliberately scheduled it specifically so they wouldn’t bump into each other and got unlucky that Sirius chose today to be beyond punctual.” Lily said, “He’s not that petty, right, babe?”
James thought about it, “Probably not. But who knows when it comes to the two of them? If you’d told me last week that they’d be on dates with other people I’d have laughed in your face. I guess, hopefully, this will focus Pads’ mind and they can sort themselves out. I mean, really? Bones?” James frowned. “He’s so…”
“Rehearsed?” Lily suggested.
“Yes! Exactly.”
Lily peeked over the top of the paper and was dismayed to see that other than Remus having pressed Mary against the wall at the side of Florean’s and Sirius’ cigarette now smouldering on the floor next to him, nothing had changed.
“We really need to leave, James.” She said quietly. “How do we leave without them seeing us?”
“I don’t think we can. I think we’re stuck here until they’re gone, or until Padfoot needs restraining from fighting Mary.” He looked worried, “Maybe they were just fine as they were.”
“It wasn’t sustainable.” She said, despite wondering if James was right. “It would have all gone tits up at some point.”
“Yeah. I think we really didn’t help, though.” James looked genuinely pained. “What if—”
“Let’s not do that.” Lily rested her free hand on his leg. “It’s done. It’ll work itself out.”
“I hope you’re right.” He lowered the paper slightly and saw that Remus and Mary had disappeared, but Sirius was standing with his hands on his hips looking right at them, and he did not look happy. “Ah, fuck.”
Sirius strode towards them and grabbed the newspaper out of their hands. “What the fuck are you doing?” He hissed at them. “Was that your idea?” He pointed towards the alleyway down which Remus and Mary must have disappeared.
“No. We had no idea about that.” James said, and Sirius’ features softened slightly, moving from anger to something closer to sadness. “I was waiting for Lily to finish work when I saw them in the window of Fortescue’s and then I thought hiding behind the Prophet was a sensible thing to do. Like in those muggle spy films.”
Lily sighed, “We really didn’t know. I had no idea they were even close.”
“He told me he had plans with her last night, but I assumed… book club, not fuck club.”
James had to press his lips together not to laugh at that as Lily continued. “Well, was he supposed to just sit around at home while you go on your date?”
“Of course not.” Sirius snapped. “He can do whatever he wants.”
“Yep.” Said Lily. “He certainly can.”
Sirius’ brow furrowed more, “I need a drink.”
“Yeah, and we should…” James gestured to Flourish and Blotts. “Unless you want to talk about it.”
“I really don’t,” Sirius said snarkily, then caught himself. “Sorry, no. No. Thanks, though.”
Lily stood up and touched his arm gently, “Hope you have a good date. I want all the details at work on Monday, ok?”
“Alright. Over chips. You’re buying.” He smiled.
“Deal.”
James pulled him into a hug, “It’ll be alright, mate.”
“I know, yeah,” Sirius said. “Enjoy your books.”
James rolled his eyes affectionately as Lily dragged him towards the shop before it closed. Sirius chuckled to himself before heading back to The Leaky Cauldron. He ordered a double measure of Firewhiskey, which he threw back and instantly regretted it as his insides burned. He ordered another which he sipped.
His hands were shaking. How long had Remus and Mary been seeing each other? That was a familiar kiss. He couldn’t remember Remus kissing anyone that confidently. Not that he’d watched Remus kiss… much. And now he had to sit through a date with all of this new information and new imagery running through his head.
“Sirius.” A voice next to him startled him. Edgar actually looked pretty nice. He’d done something different with his hair and the navy button-down suited him.
“Sorry!” He sat up straight on the bar stool. “I was miles away.”
“No worries.” Edgar sat next to him at the bar. “You been here long?”
“Nah.” Sirius lied, “Can I get you a drink?”
Sirius ordered both of them a drink and they made their way to a table near the back of the pub. Edgar insisted on pulling his chair out for him, and Sirius was tempted to do the same and see how his chivalry coped with that, but he settled for smiling up at him graciously and thanking him.
“So,” Edgar rested his hands on the table and leaned towards Sirius. “What have you been up to since school?”
“Well, I’ve almost finished my first year of Healer training. I live with Remus not far from here. Um, I see a few people from school most weeks at the pub by our flat.” He shrugged. “Nothing exciting really.”
“Oh, how is Remus?” Edgar said and Sirius didn’t like his tone at all.
“He’s good. He’s working at NLMTL as a librarian and he gets to look in the archives and see all the saucy shit old wizards got up to.” Sirius smiled.
Edgar’s smile had dropped slightly, but he nodded, “How nice. Is he seeing anyone?”
“I… don’t actually know.” Sirius said, honestly, “We don’t really talk about that stuff.”
Edgar’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I genuinely thought you were together.”
“Bit of a weird thing to say on a date, no?” Sirius asked with a small smile.
“Just want to make sure I’m not competing with a— with your friend,” Edgar said with a wink. “Can you blame me for wanting you all to myself?”
Sirius sipped his drink. The firewhiskey was starting to warm him from the inside and he felt less tense already. “Not at all. I had no idea you might be interested until the other day.” He said with an easy smile.
“Who hasn’t been interested, Sirius?” Edgar’s eyes flicked down to Sirius’ lips. “I had to take the chance when I saw it.”
“Well… I’m glad you did.”
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Remus, completely oblivious to the chaos his visit to Diagon Alley had caused earlier that evening, laughed as Mary threw on one of his shirts to head to the bathroom. It drowned her and it was kind of adorable. He rolled out of his bed and pulled on boxers and the first T-shirt he saw before reclining back on the bed. When he heard the front door open and close his heart dropped.
He quickly stood and stumbled across his room, pulled his jeans up his legs, not bothering to button them and stepped into the hallway, hoping he could avoid the awkward situation that was almost inevitable. Too late he realised he was wearing one of Sirius’ Led Zeppelin T-shirts, but didn’t have the time to wonder what it was doing in his room in the first place. He looked into the kitchen and saw Sirius filling up the kettle. He looked over his shoulder to the bathroom door, which was still shut. Maybe if he distracted Sirius, Mary could slip back into his room unnoticed.
"How was your date?” He asked, leaning on the door frame. When Sirius turned to look at him, his eyes were cold. “That good?”
“My date was fine, thanks,” Sirius said, pointedly not offering to make Remus tea. “How was yours?”
Remus blinked at him, “Mine?”
“Your date,” Sirius said sharply. Then the bathroom door opened and he looked at Remus in disbelief. “Oh. I see, it’s not over yet. Well, I’ll just get out of your hair then.” He finished stirring his tea and walked towards the kitchen door. “Excuse me.” Before this week, Sirius would have squeezed past him, fingers lingering on Remus’ waist for just a moment longer than necessary and probably kissed his clavicle on the way past. Remus felt suddenly hollow.
Remus stepped aside and let Sirius pass, “Pads—”
“Alright, Mary? Nice shirt.” Sirius said before closing his bedroom door a little too forcefully.
Remus turned around and saw Mary standing in his bedroom doorway with an apologetic look on her face. “So, Sirius didn’t know I was coming over then?”
He shook his head, then followed her back into his room, where they sat facing each other on the bed. “No, he didn’t. Something’s going on with him right now and I don’t know what it is.”
“Well, there’s the obvious jealousy.” Mary shrugged. “He looked like he’d seen a ghost when he saw us outside Florean’s.”
“When he what? He was there?” Remus had deliberately left Diagon Alley half an hour before Sirius was going to be there. “Fuck. He saw us?”
“Well, at least you’re both on the same page.” She sighed. “Why are you going on dates with other people and not each other?”
“I— I don’t know. He just decided the other day that he was going on a date, and then you asked me if I had plans last night and well, I didn’t, and I enjoy your company. I enjoy your company a lot, actually.” He smiled at her, and she didn’t miss the glint in his eye.
“Yeah, it was fun, wasn’t it?” Her cheeks flushed. “Look, it’s pretty obvious that you’re in love with Sirius, though.” Remus opened his mouth, “Don’t try and deny it, Remus. I think you’re great, but I can’t date you if you have feelings for someone else.” She paused, then grinned at him, “But… if you wanted to hook up as friends sometimes, that could be a lot of fun.”
“Fun,” Remus repeated, mulling it over. “Just hooking up? Nothing else?” She nodded, “Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Good.” She grinned at him, before pushing him back against the bed.
Sirius had plugged his headphones into the record player they kept in his room and had put on A Night at the Opera and turned it up as loud as it would go. Remus would always fix his headphones for him again if they got rattly.
He sat on the floor with his back against the end of his bed, hugging his knees, and stared out the window until the record needed flipping over.
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When Sirius got up the next morning, Remus was sitting at the kitchen table, alone. He didn’t look up as Sirius came in and filled the kettle.
“Tea?”
“Please.”
Sirius took Remus’ mug from the table and put tea and sugar in both mugs. He leant against the counter, watching Remus for a moment.
“How long have you and Mary been together?” He asked quietly.
Remus’ head snapped up, “We’re not together.”
“No?” Sirius didn’t sound like he believed him.
“No. Categorically not together. Just friends.” Remus looked back down at the muggle newspaper he’d been reading.
“Friends who… get naked together.”
“Yep,” Remus said.
“Oh, ok.” He shook his head, “Have you been… doing that for long.”
“Nope.” Remus sighed, “Since Friday. That’s it.”
“Oh, right. Good for you.”
“Do you have a problem with me bringing people back here?” Remus said lightly, meeting Sirius' eyes, “It’s really not a problem if you do. You live here too and I’d rather know than you be all shirty with me, so I can make other plans.”
Other plans? “No, I just didn’t expect there to be someone else here when I got back and I was a bit squiffy.”
“Squiffy,” Remus repeated under his breath. “Are you sure? I can always go somewhere else.”
“Remus this is your home. If you can’t get your leg over here, what’s the point?” He tried to smile.
“Alright then.” Sirius set down the tea on the table. “Thank you. You didn’t really answer when I asked how your date went?”
“Oh, yeah it was nice. I drank a bit too much probably, but he’s… yeah, he’s nice.” Sirius sipped his too-hot tea to stop himself from saying nice again.
“You seeing him again?” Remus asked.
“Yeah, we’re going to see some muggle film called Alien on Tuesday night.” Sirius smiled.
Remus put on his best supportive friend smile in response, “Sirius Black gets a second date. What is the world coming to?”
“Hey, I’ve had second dates before.”
“Yeah? Who was the last person to go on a second date with you? Marlene?” He laughed as Sirius tried to think of someone more recent than the ill-fated relationship with Marlene in fifth year. “Oh shit. was it Marlene?!”
“I really think it might have been.” Sirius looked aghast. “Oh fuck!”
Remus laughed harder. “I can’t wait to tell James. Oh fuck I can’t wait to tell Marlene! I think she and Dorcas are coming to the pub on Friday.” He paused, “Maybe Mary, too. You should see if Edgar wants to come.” Why on earth had he said that?
“Oh, well, yeah. I didn’t know if that would be too soon or… I’ll ask if he fancies it when I see him on Tuesday.”
Remus hid his frown behind his mug of tea, “Sounds like a plan.”