Warpaint

Bee

I felt myself fall sideways on a hardwood floor. I normally ended up on my feet when I apparated. I appeared to be in one piece though and that's what mattered right now. I looked up to find myself in a large, smartly-furnished living room where two figures were peering at me with interest. It appeared they had been playing gobstones by the discarded marbles. Only Tammi Cahill would be playing gobstones with someone who appeared to be her father on New Year's Day. Something about that was hugely endearing.

"Bee? Is that you?" 

"I didn't really know where else to come."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know."

Everything.

"Why don't we get to my room?" Tammi said, steering me out of the lounge quickly. She called after her father as we exited the room. "I'll explain later, daddy!"

I felt a bit dazed as Tammi led me towards an impressive staircase. This place was huge as well as totally gorgeous. It reminded me of the house that we used to live in before Mum was permanently moved into St Mungo's. We still owned that place but we hadn't lived there for a while. Dad had moved us into his posh London penthouse after that. 

We seemed to have arrived at a stylish bedroom in shades of pale pinks and grey.

"Bee, I can't imagine you would be here if you had anywhere else to go, are you in trouble?" she asked tensely. 

"I'm not in trouble but I'm a mess, everything in my life is so messy," I moaned, feeling close to tears.

"If you tell me what's wrong then maybe I can help you"

"I'm seeing Albus Potter, well, kinda... I want to be but it's not that simple."

I just sounded so stupid. I wanted to say that I was in love with someone that I couldn't have and it's the most painful shit ever. I couldn't be trusted to be around him without messing it up. So tired of my toxic friends, and being a better person was exhausting and I felt like I was further away than ever from being that better person. I wanted it so badly but I didn't know if I could get there anymore. 

"Are you serious? Albus Potter?!"

This was a huge mistake. I'd decided to trust some gossipy hufflepuff with this information. It sounded stupid coming out of my mouth. Who turns up at some stranger's home and starts talking about their boy issues? 

"You're not really helping here..."

"I'm sorry, I'm just surprised because everyone thinks you're dating JP!"

That's another thing. JP was this stupid nickname that got given to Potter when he played his first quidditch match. The commentator just made it up and it really caught on. Anyone who didn't know him well used it. If you knew him then you would never call him that. I remember that being one of the first things he ever said to me. Don't call me that. 

"He is dating Lou, in case you haven't noticed! They're not very subtle about it either!"

"Well, there was a rumour that you three are a couple and it seemed to add up so everyone just assumed that it was true."

"Nothing about this situation adds up! That's ridiculous." 

"All I know is that you and JP were best friends, like inseparable for like four or five months in fourth year and then he started dating Lou and you turned on him, we just figured that you were throwing people off the scent."

"We weren't even close!"

That's a lie.

I was hoping that people had forgotten about it. In the beginning, it was me who became friends with Potter. It was how Lou and him met each other. I just liked spending time with him because he was so uncomplicated. We just didn't fancy each other at all. I didn't really have that dynamic with other guys. Lou told me that she liked him and things changed a lot. 

I didn't like remembering that I was friends with him once because it reminded me of how alike we were. That was one of my biggest problems, I saw myself in Potter a lot. Lou said we were like the same person. I thought it was a compliment to begin with - we both did. We were both demanding, charming and arrogant. I noticed all those things in Potter slowly, the way he treated people. I was blinded by his friendship before. I didn't like what I saw. I didn't like what I saw in myself even more. 

I hated calling him Potter but I could barely stomach calling him ‘James' either. 

"I'm sensing that this isn't true then, well, you guys had serious vibes."

"Can I get back to my problem please?"

I was being rude and I knew it. I shouldn't be rude. Tammi seemed quite gossipy but I was the one who came to her. I needed someone. I had chosen her. She knew about my mum. I'd never heard any rumours. She must have kept her word. She was good. I explained my problem. In the hands of someone else suddenly it seemed less. The anxiety and pressure seem to lift a little from me. Tammi was a very good listener. 

Was it possible that I was being crazy?

I didn't know if any description that I gave Tammi of Lou would do her justice. Lou could be catty to other girls but there was a part of her that's vicious. Beyond anything that most people could imagine. I knew her though. The eerie knowledge of what she was capable of was unnerving.

"Let me be your friend."

I was stunned into silence. I didn't really understand why she would want to be after what I just told her. I wouldn't want to be friends with me. She didn't seem to help any help filling my silence though.

"I think you could really use a good friend. I'm not as pretty or talented as you are but what I am is a really good friend and as your friend, I could tell you that you're a good person and you need to stop worrying about appearances so much. I would say that there is always a place for you at the Hufflepuff table. You'll never be alone whatever happens because I'll be there for you."

"Why are you being so nice?"

"I told you before. You need a friend. It's the Hufflepuff genes in me."

"Thank you so much. I would be really honoured to be your friend."

"I'll get you some pyjamas, you're welcome to stay here for a while."

I knew that I found a friend for life when she brought me a pair of red silk pyjamas. I slipped off the short sparkly dress. We watched movies and ate snacks for hours. 

*

I poured some coffee into my travel tumbler while picking at a pastry over at the Ravenclaw table with Madi and Lou. It was the second week in January and I still hadn't quite got the Gryffindor courage to speak to Albus. Tammi had been texting me every day to find out if I had, so it was never far from my mind.

"I've been meaning to ask you where you went on New Year's Mads!" Lou enquired. We had made it about a week and half without having mentioned it. I was kinda hoping we may get away with not addressing it at all.

"Oh, I erm-"  Madi spluttered. 

Come on Madi, lie faster. Lie better.

"She hooked up with Caleb Cole," I said, smoothly covering up more of Madi's mumbles.

Sometimes I felt like an actress and everyone else around me was letting down the production. 

"I thought you wanted to get with Freddie?"

"I do, but you know it's New Year's, he was just there!"

Her voice was a bit high pitched but it was nearly a believable lie. I hoped Caleb hadn't gotten up to anything else that evening. I wasn't quite expecting to be ambushed by this question. I wanted to get our story straight because there would be hell to pay for the truth. I didn't have the time to speak to Madi properly. At least she knew what the official lie was now. 

"Well he's semi-acceptable so good for you. What about you, Bee?"

"I wasn't feeling it this year," I said, "it's been a tough year."

The plan was to keep as close to the truth as possible because that's the easiest thing to do. That's always the easiest way to lie about something.

"Was it reminding you of your mum?"

The question caught me completely off guard. We hadn't really acknowledged her death so much. They knew when it happened, they supported me in their own way but we didn't really mention her.

"Oh-well-no " I said quickly, wanting to deflect away from my mum. "But I've obviously been missing her a lot recently." 

I couldn't lie about mum. I just couldn't. I wouldn't.  I missed her more than anything but she hadn't exactly been on my mind a lot that night. I contemplated telling them the truth but it wasn't worth it. Everything, including Potter and Madi, would unravel quicker than I could control it. I had chosen Lou. My head had chosen. I needed to protect that.  There was no part of my heart that didn't belong to Albus though. That's the biggest truth. Tammi's words run through my head. He'll understand. 

"I was with James all night but I don't suppose that's a surprise," she laughed. "When it's good, it's really good."

I wasn't sure ‘really good' included that arsehole sleeping with her best friend. I hated him so much. He made me lie to her but really I wasn't blackmailing him properly because I wouldn't let Lou ever know that. It would destroy her. I was her protector. It's what I do. It's what I'd done for too long. I adored her even if she was suffocating me. That's definitely something Albus wouldn't understand. I barely did. 

She was lying about Potter but we couldn't call her out on that because it meant admitting that we knew that Potter was with Madi. I saw that look in Madi's eyes - she wanted to call her out. Madi wasn't really accustomed to that type of power. 

Lou was happy in her lie. That was okay for now. I needed to make sure that Caleb Cole lie stuck though. 

"Shall we go out this Thursday night?" Lou said before pouting. "It's been ages since we've done a girls' night out!"

By girls' night I could only assume that she meant Potter and Freddie would be coming. They always did. The idea didn't fill me with joy if I'm honest. I was already thinking longingly of the movie marathon with Tammi. That's a girl who knew how to do a girls' day.  I agreed to go without too much fuss though. I hoped Lou and Madi didn't want to go all the way into London this time though. Freddie was pretty fun so maybe it'd be a laugh. A few cocktails wouldn't go amiss either. 

*

Albus

I didn't know how Scorpius was quite as calm as he was. I didn't feel calm at all. I was feeling a lot of things towards Rose right now. I was just trying to figure out what she was thinking of when she told him. Rose always felt things in a really big way. It was just part of who she was. I always thought I understood her though. I didn't understand her behaviour recently at all. 

"Where are you going?" Scorpius asked. 

I'd barely noticed that I was on my feet. She was doing her prefect duties somewhere on this bloody train. It was clear that she was probably just hiding instead of busy. I didn't remember feeling so quite annoyed with her before. She started a fight with Bee and I basically did nothing further about it. This was too far though. Scorpius was her friend. My best friend. 

I needed to find her soon. The more I walked, the more I got angry with her. My head couldn't take much more of this.

"Are you out of your mind?" I hissed as I spotted her heading into a compartment halfway up the train. It was thankfully an empty one, at least temporarily, as books and a grumpy looking owl had been left there. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rose replied curtly. 

"You told Scorpius that his grandparents were Death Eaters!"

"Well, he deserved to know!"

"You don't get to decide things like that for people! You only wanted to tell him to hurt him."

"I didn't!" she said defensively. "I jus-"

"I can't imagine you would do this to him, you have to control everything but this wasn't your information, you're being spiteful."

"Is he really upset with me?"

I couldn't believe her. 

"You're so selfish! I can't believe I spent so much of my time making excuses for your behaviour just so I could keep being friends with you."

"Albus! Tell him that I'm sorry!"

"You are the one who should be telling him this honestly," I said. "You're my family but you're certainly not being a good friend right now."

"I'll apologize to hi-"

I hated it when people made these apologies for themselves. They had to say sorry because sorry made things okay. I couldn't help feeling that her sorry would be for herself. It shifted the issue onto the other person. If they didn't accept the apology then it was their problem now.

She was supposed to have feelings for him?  Like like him. 

Who treated people like this?

I really didn't get this. Rose thought I was making such a big mistake with Bee, but at least I hadn't handled any situation as badly as this. She didn't even know that I kissed Bee probably because Rose had been ignoring me since New Years. She had me thinking that was my fault too. I wanted to tell her about Bee but I knew I would only be doing it to hurt Rose. She'd always hated Bee. I'm not that person. 

"Do it for the right reasons, Rose," I said finally. "We're done here." 

I hoped she stayed away from Scorpius and I for a while. We needed to cool off from each other if we were ever going to be friends again. The idea of not being friends with her made me feel hollow, but I wasn't going to stand around and pretend that she hadn't hurt me over and over again. I knew I deserved a better friend and cousin than she was being right now. Scorpius deserved way better too. I didn't know where he was going to go from here. At least he wouldn't have to figure out everything with Rose over his shoulder though. 

*

good luck, you got this xx

I stared at this text for the hundredth time. I couldn't stop looking at it. I was trying to figure her out because I didn't understand. The moment I think I get her then she pulls away again. We'd been back at school for nearly a week and she hadn't spoken to me apart from this text yesterday. It was our Potions exam tomorrow. It was worth half our grade for this year. The day that we'd been working towards since I melted that bloody handbag. It was an eerie feeling.

I hadn't texted her back. I wanted to but I felt like she shouldn't just be able to control me with a text. I deserved more. I wanted her support though because I was nervous as hell about tomorrow. She must have a reason to ignore me like this. I didn't know what. 

I should have been cramming for this test. My mind couldn't really focus on Potions. Perhaps I had just learnt everything that I could by now. I just hoped my brain would remember that stuff tomorrow. I didn't want to let myself down. Perhaps I should go to the kitchens to grab a snack, but Scorpius would be back from Gobstones club any second now so I should probably wait for him. He had been in this weird mood for a while now. I guess it was because we hadn't been speaking to Rose at all. He wasn't ready to speak about the Death Eater thing properly yet. At least not with me, I know his dad visited him a couple of days ago here at school though. At least I knew he was talking to someone.  I couldn't really imagine how he felt about it. Do the mistakes of the past ban you from being a good person now?

They were more than mistakes though.

Our parents had this hidden legacy, the only proof seemed to be that we're all alive. It's weird and made my issues with Bee seem a world away. My parents fought in this castle for our freedom. There was barely a trace apart from that memorial in the grounds. The names of those who died here. A generation of trauma so deep that people can't even talk about it. I thought about the family therapy that dad promised. It seemed a lot scarier than it did at Christmas. 

"How was Gobstones?" I asked a little too cheerily as Scorpius entered the room. "It doesn't even smell like you need a shower this week."

Scorpius was normally straight in the shower after playing Gobstones for two hours. That liquid stuff smelt awful which was why I never played with him anymore. He was too good. He had given up trying to teach me and I was only too happy about that.

He laughed. It was the first genuine laugh in a while. 

"I've been playing this Hufflepuff, she's quite rubbish at Gobstones," he commented. "She's kinda cute though."

Was this his way of telling me that he's seeing someone?

"I haven't been myself recently, I think that I've been a bit of dick to you."

Any questions about this girl faded from my mind as I waited for him to continue. 

"My whole family is a disaster, I thought we were fixing ourselves but we're just falling apart just when we found each other. I can't even decide if that's a good thing or not." 

"There are no easy fixes unfortunately Scor," I answered. Afraid that I couldn't be of more help. There were no easy answers when it comes to family ever in my experience.  "You're allowed to be confused though."

"My dad visited and I thought that I would know what to do but it makes me feel more confused than ever. I've been shutting you out but I should have known that you would get crappy families issues."

"I wish I didn't-"

"Is that your owl Albus?"

It was my owl. I wondered what she was doing here. I could only think that it was a letter from dad. He didn't normally send letters with the normal breakfast post after some journalists got hold of some letters between James and mum. I didn't think they were even that interesting but I think it scared dad. The messy scribble is all the confirmation needed.  It was Dad. 

Albus,

I've thought a lot about our chat over Christmas. Your mother and I have talked a lot and we've decided to book an appointment for a family therapy session next Thursday. It's been agreed that you will be able to have the afternoon off. We are hoping that you'll join us as I think this is something that could benefit everyone. I've invited James and Lily to join us too.

Love Dad. 

"Therapy?" Scorpius questioned after glancing over the letter himself "I didn't know you had talked at Christmas. That's big news! How come you didn't say?"

"I wanted to but you were going through a lot of stuff yourself, meeting your grandparents was bigger than things going on with me. Then New Year's happened. Rose. Just everything," I admitted.

I had forgotten that Scor didn't know about it to be honest. I guessed I wasn't even sure if it wasn't just an empty promise from dad anyway. The idea of next week now was enough to make me breakout in hives. At least my Potions exam would be over though. Silver linings. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"Scor, you don't have anything to be sorry for, you've been looking after me since I got that bloody gobstone ink in my eye in first year, we're good," I assured him.

That was the memory that always made Scor laugh without fail. Every single time. I laughed too. 

"Kitchens?"

"Without a doubt."

*

I had a really bad feeling about this. Professor Reed had called me into his classroom at lunchtime for a chat. 

There was a click clack of her heels coming down the hallway as I sat uncomfortably in the Potions classroom. I knew she was coming. We'd spent so much time together that I felt like I had been memorising parts of her since I first met her that day in Potions. She would be wearing those little black boots type shoes. She'd told me that they were this season's Padma Patil collection once when I was staring at her legs in a potions class.  I wasn't sure she bought my interest in her shoes but she had ignored my awkwardness about it. 

She was standing in the doorway. Her glossy hair pulled into a high ponytail and her lips painted in that red gloss that made me just want to kiss her again and again.  She looked so good even though she was clearly grumpy, but her face softened as she saw me. I smiled back and temporarily Professor Reed just faded away and I was sure that there was something between us still. I saw that when she sent that text that she hadn't shut me out of her life, not totally anyway. I felt less nervous now. 

Professor Reed cleared his throat which made it perfectly clear that the moment was over. 

"Mr Potter, I think you can guess why I've brought you here today," Reed said, rather self-importantly. A quick sideways glance at Bee told me she didn't know either. "Is there anything that you wish to tell me?"

"No sir," I replied honestly.

"Ah, well, I'm disappointed but I'm giving you a heads-up that the Headmistress has been informed that a trace of a known cheating charm had been used on your Potions exam paper."

Was he serious? Cheating? Me?

I wouldn't even know where to start. I wasn't cool enough for cheating. Maybe this was a nightmare. It seemed like something that my sleep-starved brain would come up with. Bee was here for extra punishment. I didn't know what to say. Should I protest my innocence? 

I needed to say something but no words were coming to me. I had no words.

SAY SOMETHING.

"That's completely ridiculous! Albus would never do that," Bee said from behind me in unison with my own reply. "I didn't do this, Professor."

The next piece of the conversation went missing somewhere in my head. I heard the voices between Bee and Professor Reed. Loud. Angry. 

"It is a bit suspicious that someone who barely scraped into this class is suddenly one point away from an O isn't it?"

"That's proof that he obviously didn't do this, why would you cheat just to give yourself an E!"

"There is proof in black and white, this is not up for debate."

"I demand to know what your chain of custody is on these exam papers then!" 

"You are in no position to be demanding anything, Miss Forestieri, but these papers were properly managed by myself, the Head Boy and the Headmistress. The exam board graded them. I hope you aren't suggesting any of us had anything to do with Mr Potter's cheating."

"The Head Boy?!"

There was the sinking feeling when you knew it was real. There was a reason that she was so focused on the Head Boy. I didn't really know what yet but I had this awful feeling about that that made me want to vomit. Why was the Head Boy so important?

This wasn't some misunderstanding. This was on purpose. I was in trouble and this was what Bee was hinting at. She kept pushing me away for fear of exactly this. I couldn't help think that this was Lou Griezmann's fault somehow. 

"This is her, isn't it?" I whispered.

She didn't say anything. She knew. I knew. I was going to get expelled. This was the price I was going to pay for being with Bee. I never thought it was going to be so heavy. The white hot pins and needles of pure anxiety in my arms seem to become worse. This was insane. Who does this to someone?

It wasn't really about me though. It was about Bee. Bee was hers first. Her best friend.  I was nothing more than collateral damage. In a war that I didn't understand. 

"I'm going to fix this Albus," she promised with this fire in her eyes.  "Look at me, just try to calm down. I'm going to make this right and I'll be back really soon, I promise Albus. You're not alone."

I looked at her like never before. I felt like I was digging so deep looking for these answers in her eyes. I did believe her though because staring into her eyes made me sure that I was in love with her. The comfort of her hand left mine. I felt soothed by her words but I immediately missed her touch. 

"MISS FORESTIERI, COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!" Reed screamed, but she was already gone.