Warpaint

Bee

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see!"

This didn't mean anything good. I hope that this isn't what I think it is. Apart from being ambushed with questions in the dormitory Lou had been remarkably cool about the Ethan breakup. That's not really in her nature. I was worried that we were heading for a ‘meeting'.

Simply, Lou likes pain. She never lets things go so having a meeting with an ex is the most logical part of a breakup. It's not how normal people act but she isn't your average person. It's her coping mechanism which over the years Madi and I have indulged her in.

I was right. 

The room was basically bare apart from a couple of old desks. One for Ethan and I to face each other and the other for the host. A close friend is always supposed to chair the meeting for you. It makes sure things don't get out of hand. I don't chair J-Lou's meetings anymore. They were too many and my diary was always full. Madi gets that joyful job now. 

I guess we better get things over with. I might get to eat lunch if this was over quickly. I don't know what there is to say or why Ethan agreed to something quite so ridiculous. I sat.

"I call this meeting to order. I am the host for the breakup of Ethan Hamish Wood and Bianca Tala Forestieri Reyes" Lou announced. "I believe Ethan has an opening statement?"

Hamish? 

I never knew he had a middle name. 

I think Lou had taken some drama injections because this is pretty extra even for her. Why does Ethan have an opening statement? I had a feeling that I was being ganged up on. 

"I want a proper reason why you broke up with me. People don't change overnight"

"Maybe I've always been this person or maybe people change and that's ok."

"You just used to be so fun and you used to sparkle all the time." 

"I sparkled by putting other people in the shade. I don't think that's the type of person that I want to be. I want to sparkle because I'm happy. I don't think you're a person that will let me do that."

I felt a knot in my stomach. I think that was a bit too honest. It was too much too soon for them. They wouldn't get it. I was taking such a huge risk by breaking up with Ethan. Ethan was a popularity safety blanket for me. He was a key part of my mask. I wasn't ready to face everything alone. It was a big change too soon. I didn't want to get back together with him but I felt a bit sick knowing that the only world that I've ever known could soon be crumbling around me. I wasn't prepared for that.

"You're a fake bitch"

I couldn't decide if I should be angry or laugh. I think this situation is the least fake that I have ever been in my whole life and then he called me fake. That's ridiculous. That's just pure shit that I don't get to be better because no-one would ever believe me. 

"I don't have to listen to this! Ethan, I know you're not this arsehole that you're being right now." I said turning to the blonde (who was looking vaguely amused next to me.) "Lou, I'm going to end this meeting right now because frankly this conversation is beyond over."

I feel like all I do these days is storm out of rooms that my friends are in. 

*

I needed a Hogsmeade trip. Lou had decided to ditch Potter in an effort to make it up to me. We were going to get our nails done. I always feel a bit more fabulous with a fresh set of nails on. We had just finished having a coffee at Quill & Ink. Three broomsticks was always busy so we left that behind in third year for something more exclusive. Students don't often go in Quill & Ink because it's expensive. If your date ain't taking you there then bin him was our group's catchphrase. I'm starting to think I could probably stomach the three broomsticks for the right person though.

"OI FORESTEIRI!"

A very angry Rose Weasley was stomping towards us.

I saw Albus' face as he trailed behind her.

Shit had hit the fan.

I could only think that this wasn't going to go well for anyone involved. Rose knew about us. I say ‘us' like there is an us. I don't think we're exactly an us. She was storming towards our group. She  seemed to be attracting a lot of attention after the village wasn't deaf. I think my cause of action right now was to pretend I haven't heard.

"What do you think she wants?" Lou said with a lazy grin. She loved the drama of any kind but I don't think she would be thrilled after this conversation. If she believed Rose that is, there was a chance that I could deny which would make both Weasley and Albus look dylusional. 

Could I do that to him? 

"What do you want then?" I said in a cold tone. I was fighting to keep myself calm. Don't rise to her. Don't do it. 

"I want to know why you've been messing with Albus. He seems to think you're friends but I know you're just being cruel with your little posse!"

"Calm down, Weasley." I said evenly. I stood my ground like I needed to have the upper hand. This was now a battlefield. I wanted to run and back away that I knew that I wasn't going to. 

"I'm not letting a stupid slut ruin my family."

Rose was hardly original in her opening statement. Her calling me a slut is how we start half of all our conversations. I can handle that. I'm struggling with my deep need to correct her though. I don't have any intention of ruining her family. I want Albus to be happy. It's all I want. 

"What the hell did you just say to her?" Lou said advancing towards Weasley "Say that again, I dare you."

For someone wearing baby pink fluffy coat and matching earmuffs. She looked fierce. This was slipping dangerously out of my control. 

"SLUT"

Lou smacked Weasley in the face. I don't think I've ever seen her do anything so violent. Lou was more about psychological warfare. I can't believe my eyes right now. However I imagined this moment it was nothing like what was happening right now. Weasley has just hit her back. It's not long before shouts of ‘fight! Fight! Fight!' can be heard and half of Hogwarts is here. 

I can't believe what is happening. Albus looked horrified. Weasley pushed Lou to the floor. I could only assume that he was wondering how the hell all this happened. I know I am. Lou had just hit Weasley's head into the ground with a three thousand galleon handbag. Ouch. The bag had a lot of buckles on. The teachers would be here any second. We need to get the hell out of here to do some damage control. 

I flipped my wand gently. The two girls flew apart. Lou landed at my feet. Weasley at Albus'. 

"What the hell are you doing?" I hissed as I pulled her to her feet. 

"I'm protecting you."

"This is going to be the talk of the school for weeks. Couldn't you just deal with her using a silencing charm and some green hair dye like a normal person?"

"You should be thanking me, we'll discuss this later. Let's get out of here."

*

The Hospital Wing was not the most exciting place in the world after the dramatics of this Hogsmeade trip. I was feeling rather guilty that Lou had taken on a fight for me but also confused. I had been called ‘slut' before. It came with the territory when you're popular and boys like you. Weasley uses that word like it's going out of style.  It's always an excuse for other girls to tear me down. Lou had never gone so crazy over it before. I knew Lou well enough to know what she didn't need to be in the Hospital Wing. After Madame Longbottom had stopped fussing, Lou's eyes followed her until she was sure that she was out of sight.

She jumped up on her ‘injured' ankle to put the curtains around us. It seemed to make sense why she had sent Madi off on a errand now. This was about me. Her setting of the hospital wing just for dramatic effect. She settled down on the bed as I stood there waiting for her to speak. Her crystal blue eyes flashed dangerously as they focused on me.

"Are you going to explain to me why the hell I've just had to fight Rose Weasley over your relationship with Albus Potter?"

"I don't have a relationship with Albus Potter" I replied as an almost knee jerk reaction. 

"Do you think I'm an idiot? Don't test me Bee!"

"What is this Lou?"

"Chin up or the crown slips, don't throw away the kingdom for someone like him, you're better than him" Lou said "Whatever is going on, he isn't worthy of you."

"That's not fair"

"Don't be so stupid. We've worked for our positions in this world. We need to remain our status so we have the best life outside of Hogwarts."

Funny. I thought we were just born into those ‘positions'. 

"I think I like him."

I cringed at the ridiculousness of this conversation. I hated that I needed her permission to even like him. I hate how terrified I feel right now. I hope I hadn't made him a target. 

"What do you mean you like him?"

"I don't know exactly but I enjoy his company. He makes me happy after everything has been shit for so long, I'm sorry"

I didn't know how I had gotten the point when I needed to apologize for my happiness. 

"Bee, I beg you, I need you more than he needs you. You know I need you and I can't lose you. Put me first"

I always thought that I would know what to say to an ultimatum because someone who really cared about me wouldn't ask this of me. I can't say no to her though. She has been through too much. I don't know how she'll cope without me. I thought she was in a better place than this. I thought she was more stable than this but I guess not. I can't have her fall apart under my watch. I care about her too much. I hate that. 

"Ok, I'm sorry. I pick you." I said suddenly feeling very tired, the last bit came out as a whisper   "I won't see him"

"You don't know how much I need this. I love you."

I hate this. How I am going to explain to Albus?  How would he ever understand this? 

Whatever just happened hurts like hell.

*

Albus

"Are you nearly finished yet?"

Troll Run was the newest game to sweep over Hogwarts. Bee wouldn't be too impressed but I totally had been neglecting the latest potions essay trying to get past Thestral level. I had cracked and asked Scorpius for help in the end who already managed to complete the whole bloody thing.  

"Do you want me to get past this level for you or not?"

"Yes"

"Good otherwise I'll leave you with Rose who hasn't even passed the Pixie level yet."

"You've got text" he commented without taking his eyes off the screen.

"Where? Show me?"

"It's from Forestieri, Merlin, how has she sent you 187 messages in the last month and a half?"

"I don't know I haven't been counting" I said feeling myself redded. I made a grab for the phone but Scorpius held it above his head. Git. 

"You should just tell her that you like her. I mean you're not the creepy guy staring across the Great Hall anymore. You have a real shot" 

"You're being ridiculous! I don't want her!"

"Are you telling me that you don't want the girl who sends you Chess puns?"

Maybe I do.

"It's not like that.." I mumbled 

"I know you think this girl is out of your league but from where I'm standing she is as dorky as you are." 

"She isn't dorky at all! She-she-"

I don't think that I had an end to that sentence. 

"She is special I know, her eyes are like pools of chocolate and her hair is so soft and glossy that-"

"ENOUGH!" I bellowed "Can we please talk about something different? Are you looking forward to Christmas?"

Scorpius' face dropped from his gleeful state. I think he had been trying not to think about Christmas for a little while but it represented potentially huge consequences for his family. I think I had been trying to do the same to be honest so I knew how he felt on some level. 

"Fine, I don't really know honestly. I guess it'll just be different but my dad seems happier but maybe that's not the right word. He seems settled. I think cutting off his parents hurt him and perhaps he is just feeling at peace now."

There was something really deep about that. Scorpius' family had always been disjointed and messy but he was really close to his parents though. He had a great life with them but I think memories haunted his father in particular in a way that Scorpius and I would never get.  

"Are you going to find out what happened before you go? In the war, you know they are estranged and everything comes back to the War"

"My dad never talks about the war ever. I can't ask him to break that. I want to give my grandparents a chance. I don't want to hate them before I've met them."

"I can understand that. There are some things that I would never bring up too. Will you message over the holidays though?"

I wouldn't ever mention the War to my dad. Dad and I don't really talk too much at all though. We asked when we were younger but we know better now. My dad was so uncomfortable at any mention of it. It was like anyone directly involved in the War agreed never to talk about it ever again. Most of the details taught in History of Magic were pieced together through second hand sources or people who were just mildly involved. 

"Of course, I think I'm going to need you."

*

There was frost on the ground but there was a buzz of excitement rising like their breath in the cool air. It was the last Hogsmeade trip of the year before Christmas. I had always quite enjoyed the end of term.  Everyone seemed a bit happier even if the weather was freezing. It felt a bit different this year. I knew I wasn't going to the comfort of the Malfoys. Christmas at my family meant more socks. My family didn't know what to do with someone who wasn't into Quidditch. I was abnormal. I suppose I didn't really mind the endless socks apart from the boys in my dormitory teasing me about my huge collection of bright coloured ones was  annoying.

I still hadn't got Roxy anything. Some people were easier to buy for than others. Rose was still brooding about my refusal to swap for Uncle Percy. Rose and Scorpius were by my side as we decided to walk down, mainly due to Rose's impatience as Griezmann, Kane and Bee managed to steal the last carriage away from under our noses. I was almost able to tune out Rose's rants by now because they always ended up the same way. I had even stopped nodding and agreeing in places like I used to. I nearly wanted to say something to her. Rose was still not aware that I had been spending so much time with Bee.

"So where are we off to first?" Rose asked as we finally made our way into the village. 

One of my favorite things about Christmas was the way Hogsmeade looked like a perfect card with a light layer of snow covering the rooftops. Hogsmeade was already very busy, we normally came down early to avoid the crowds but it didn't look that was going to be an option today. 

"Well, I've still got mum and dad to buy" 

"I don't know how you manage to leave everything to the last minute Scor!" Rose laughed.

A thought occurred to me, should I buy Bee a present? I'm not sure if that would be acceptable or just weird? I didn't think that she would give me one but she had been tutoring me in potions for a while now. I had really grown to care about her despite her reputation and the fact that I was sure that she was ashamed to be seen with me. She seemed to forget all her pretentious way when we were together. She had impressed me by showing up with those beautiful chess pieces. She was committed to the game. I loved that. She was playing better than Scorpius had done in all the time that I had known him. I didn't want to freak her out so maybe I could buy her something if I saw something that she might like.

"Why don't we go for a drink first?" I suggested looking hopefully towards The Three Broomsticks, I wasn't sure that I could feel my fingers to be honest.

 In Winter, they served the butterbeer heated and it was heaven in drink form.  Rose always insisted on having a hot chocolate being the only person probably in the history of wizard kind not to like butterbeer. I wondered sometimes if she did it to stand out. My greatest desire was to just blend in with everyone else. The others nodded so we made our way over to the pub, another motivation was to snag scorpius alone to ask his opinion on Bee. I feared that the thought would just float around my brain and I would regret whatever decision I made otherwise. It's good to have a bit back up though Scorpius was hardly an expert on girls, it was better than sharing with Rose. I was relieved when Rose offered to get the drinks for us and wondered up to the bar.

"Hey Scor, I was thinking, do you think that I should get Bee a present?" I asked almost nervously, Scorpius raised his eyebrows at my question and I instantly felt that idiot for asking.

"What are you talking about Albus?"

She came back.

Rose came back.

"Well, I guess, erm-we've been hanging out a bit?" I said wincing as the last piece came out as a question. 

"You and Bee Forestieri have been hanging out?" she said incredulously, raising her eyebrows at me. Now she said it out loud, it sounded impossible that our names didn't even belong in the same sentence. I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say. I was just wishing this conversation away, why did she have to come back?

"She is such a bitch! She's not a good person, she is messing with you!" Rose said heatedly, it's very hard to talk Rose back when she gets that red in the face. I admit, Rose had just voiced my main concern about my new friendship but we have something genuine. Bee can't be that good of an actor right?

"Rose, please calm down! Just leave it, please" I said, unfortunately I knew Rose well enough to see cogs working in her mind and I knew this wasn't heading anywhere good.

One of Rose's best qualities was how passionate she was about things and people that she cares about. She had such a big heart but she got a bigger mouth. She is very hard to discourage when she has an idea in her head. I wasn't sure how to stop this from turning into a nightmare. She may look innocent in her wooly hat but she was going to turn into a pitbull any second. 

"You don't get it? Griezmann got her claws into James and I'm not going to let Forestieri use you!" practically yelled. The surrounding tables were now staring at me.

"ROSE! COME BACK!" I bellowed after her. 

She was already gone.

I had a really bad feeling about it. The anxiety had been improving recently but I felt like everything came crashing on to me suddenly. 

"I'll stop her." Scorpius offered 

Often I wonder what I have done to deserve a friend like Scorpius. He is always there to fight my corner. The bloke can basically read my mind. I think if it had been a month ago then I would let him go after Rose. While I stayed here to calm down then wonder if I could ever function as a normal human. 

"No, I need to do it" I said as I felt that familiar prickling up and down my arms that I had grown to associate with my anxiety brain. I could do this.

I prayed that we could find her before she did some serious damage.

 *

Rose had been acting weird for a couple of days. She didn't really like that I had sided with Bee after the fight. I don't want to lose to her but I couldn't say that what she did was the right thing. She didn't have to choose the middle of Hogsmeade to make a public scene. It didn't help that everyone thought that both Rose and I are crazy now. I heard those whispers that now follow me. 

It was the last thing that I needed to do was draw attention to myself or Bee. I just wanted something for myself. I wanted to make it up to Rose because I hated fighting with her but she embarrassed me for her own personal reasons against Bee. I didn't really believe that this was about me. She was mad that she could do nothing about the James situation but she could control this. I didn't really know what to believe because Rose was honestly a good person with pure intentions at least when it came to me.

Bee hadn't texted in a couple of days either and it was making me feel miserable too. I tried to text a couple of times but I didn't want to bother her. I think she had always been worried about her friends' reactions or maybe she would just pretend that I didn't exist. The idea knocked the life out of me.

"Hi Albus"

"Hello Ro"

There was a little distance between us that hadn't been there before. Rose looked sheepish, I think that she knows that things have gotten out of hand. This whole situation was beyond awful if I was honest with myself. 

"How's the arm?" I asked gingerly

"Oh, it's alright." she said softly before quietly continuing "I wanted to say sorry for how I reacted. I just wanted to protect you. You're so sweet. I don't think she has good intentions"

"You need to trust me to make those decisions!"

This conversation was going a awful lot like my previous conversation with Neville. At least Neville hadn't instigated a wrestling match on my behalf.

"It's not that I don't trust you but you're a very nice guy. I don't know if you're judging her character right. You're seeing what you want too."

"You've judged her from one day so of course you'll see the worst. You're not looking at things clearly and by the way this was a terrible apology."

I left because I don't think any further conversation the matter was going to do us any good. We weren't ever going to agree about this. At least the Christmas holidays were coming in a couple of days. The idea of hiding out in my room for two weeks suddenly seemed very appealing. After the holidays they would be a good chance that some new drama would happen. I could go back to being basically invisible. My phone buzzed. It was Bee. 

Meet me in the potions class now? - B

I couldn't help but feel my heart leap a bit at the text. She still wanted to talk to me. It had been two days since we'd spoken properly. It had been the longest two days ever. I hurried off to meet her as quickly as my legs would carry me. 

She was waiting for me. Her long hair was in a high ponytail. I could tell something was wrong already though. She was playing with her rings. She does that when she's stressed. I feel my stress levels go through the roof as I approach the desk she was sitting at.

Breathe

Breathe 

Breathe. 

"It's good to see you." she said with a smile. It seemed off. Her smile didn't reach her eyes. The smile looked fond but sad. "I've missed you"

"I miss you too"

"I don't think it's a good idea that we hang out anymore." she said quickly "I can't see you. I want to but Lou isn't in a good place right now. It's difficult to explain." 

I don't know what to feel. Should I be angry? Should I cry? 

Oh god, don't cry. 

Nothing about this situation makes sense. I knew Lou wasn't going to like me ever but stopping Bee seeing me seemed extreme. I don't understand girls. Clearly I don't understand anything that has happened the past three days.  

"Say something?"

"What do you want me to say?" 

"I don't know. Anything that doesn't make me seems like such a huge bitch" she sighed. She did look truly miserable "It's just such a huge mess."

"I don't know what to say. It seems like you've make up your mind"

"I should go then"

She turned to leave. I wanted to call after her. I wanted to tell her that everything would be okay. Perhaps Rose was right about Bee. Her plan had been exposed so she thought she would cut her losses and run. I didn't want to believe that Rose was right. I don't know. I thought I knew Bee better. The Christmas break was just what I needed now. Time alone. Time heals all wounds right?