Warpaint

If I was ever to become Headmaster of Hogwarts then I wouldn't keep all those portraits of dead people over the wall. It would be too depressing to be faced with that sort of mortality each and every day.

Professor McGonagall looked at me with great concern. She didn't say anything about the red on my lips or my high heeled Mary Janes, which had both drawn criticism in the past. I was here for a different reason today. If everything had changed as much as the looks she was giving me now then I didn't want to go back, but the rest of them didn't know, not like she did. People don't just disappear from Hogwarts; no-one goes away to come back again except me. There would be a lot of chatter. I had to trust that my friends had handled it so no-one would know the reason why.

I was nervous about returning to those halls. I couldn't help wondering if people had forgotten me. I had only been away for two weeks but it felt like a lifetime. I was always in control but since it happened, I hadn't felt in control at all. Suddenly my life was in free fall, and I craved getting back to Hogwarts because I needed to sit on my throne again. I needed that stability back.

"Are you sure you're ready to return to Hogwarts Miss Forestieri?" Professor McGonagall asked me. I fought hard not to roll my eyes at her. Obviously, I am sure.

"Yes Professor," I said sweetly, painting my famous smile across my face - sweet enough to fool the most shrewd of people, maybe enough to fool her.

"You may go to class then, I believe Miss Griezmann and Miss Kane are waiting for you."  She said, finally, "Bianca, my door is always open..."

"Thank you, I'll bare that in mind Professor" I said. Personally I would rather give up my Sleekeazy hair potion than go to her with my problems. If you know me, that's saying something.

I was feeling better about being back with the general student population where no-one cares about my feelings and people are more interested to know how my hair stays so glossy. My response is to smile and tell them it's naturally like that - it's not but they don't need to know that. It's more fun to keep the illusion that I'm perfect. Today was the first day since it happened that I've made an effort with my appearance. I didn't really feel like it but I couldn't let my public down.  Finally, it felt great to be out of her stuffy office back to take my kingdom.

I fiddled with the hem of my skirt in an uncharacteristically nervous way. I took a deep breath, I was ready for the day ahead.

I could do this, I could do this.

I exited into the hallway. As expected Lou and Madi were standing there patiently waiting for me.

"OMG Bee! You look amazing!" Madi gushed, grinning at me as she flung her arms over my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. I shrank back for a moment but soon opened my arms to return the hug. Lou was eyeing me with a slightly puzzled expression because I normally didn't do ‘real' hugs.

"What's happenin' Bee?" Lou asked, her face arranged with her trademark smirk on.

She flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder. It's her show of dominance. Just to remind me, you know? She has probably enjoyed being a sole queen for the pass couple of weeks.

Despite her huge issues with control, second perhaps only to mine, she is the best friend a girl could ask for. A best friend who had spent the last two weeks spreading rumours that I was in Japan doing adverts for broomsticks so no-one would know the real reason behind my brief absence from the castle.

"I wanted to wait for you but I've got to go and meet James now! See you at lunch?" She pushed herself off the wall that she had been leaning against, as she placed her designer handbag in the crook of her arm.

"Excuse me? Have we fallen into hideous time warp? James Potter? Seriously? Again?" I said raising my eyebrows at her.

I go away for two weeks and I find out that my best friend is hooking up with him again. I didn't know if I could put up with much more of their relationship. I couldn't spend the whole of my 6th year talking about Potter with her again. Lou and Potter had been on/off for the whole last year. I was so relieved when they broke up in the summer for seemingly the last time. Potter and Lou both seem to love being the centre of attention so it seemed only natural they should hook up, right?

Lou has some romantic idea of her being a princess and he was her knight in shining armour. I've seen them fall apart too many times to do it again, Potter wasn't right for her at all. I got my wish; I was headfirst back into the cirius that was my social life.

"I'm trying to hook up Madi and Freddie, obviously!" she said with a sweet-as-sugar smile. "Like I would go there again!"

I doubt Freddie needed much encouragement to ‘hook up' with Madi - he certainly didn't need it at Gryffindor's victory party last summer. I could read Lou like a book. She would be back with Potter by the end of the week, whatever excuse she told herself. I would be the one picking up the pieces. My friends obviously can't be trusted when I go away from repeating the ridiculous mistakes of their pasts.

"So I suppose Ethan has forgotten I exist, right?" I asked.  

"Ethan thinks you've been doing adverts for broomsticks so the guy could not be more into you if he tried!" Madi giggled as she linked her arm with mine. "In fact, he's waiting for you by the common room, I'll walk you"

"Excellent!"

*

I hated being down in the dungeons, like I don't know how anyone in Slytherin manages. It's no wonder they're all so pale. We have this new Professor this year and he's so annoying, he thinks he's cool with his sarcastic remarks. When he is around I feel like a permanent eye roll in his direction. Neither Lou or Madi take this class either so it's really boring, Eve Mulligan is my normal potion partner. She is a semi-cool Ravenclaw with a cute pixie haircut.

It turned out that Ethan was very pleased to see me so we arrived a little late as a result. The whole class was standing at the front, and Professor Reed had a smirk on his face that suggested Christmas had come early. I was ready to open my mouth to issue a rather fake apology and flutter my eyelashes a bit but before I could say anything he beat me to it.

"You can save your apology, Miss Forestieri. As I was saying, we're starting a new unit so I thought I would assign you new partners." Professor Reed eyed me nastily, ready for his knockout blow "So you, Miss Forestieri can sit on this front desk!"

I wish he had just given me detention, I was probably going to have to spent the whole year with him breathing down my neck. He was such a sociopath, like I had a good thing going with Eve. She was cool enough to chat to but happy to do most of the work. I wasn't going to get another partner like that. He had probably been waiting until I got back so he could inflict this on me. I would probably be stuck with Rose Weasley as a partner. She's my roommate but I can't stand her. I've got zero desire to have more contact with her than necessary.

"Do I have to Professor?" I asked. I went into pouty mode before I could stop myself.

"Yes!"  he barked, as I as loudly as possible walked over to the seat in front of me and slammed my bag onto the table. I always did have a flare for the dramatics.

It felt a bit like waiting for the final blow now. Professor Reed had busied himself with ordering Ethan to sit across the classroom at the other end. I was going to have to make up excuses to go and chat with Ethan now. I hadn't noticed that someone was sat next to me already, I was obviously too busy staring over at Ethan. Ethan had now been joined by familiar smug looking bushy haired girl, Rose Weasley.

I turned back around to find a pair of bright emerald eyes staring back at me. The boy turned crimson when he noticed that I was looking back at him. He was now staring at the desk like it was the most interesting thing ever. He was instantly recognisable as Albus Potter. Despite the exciting surname, I knew next to nothing about him. To my knowledge, he was a quiet and nerdy Slytherin. He might be a loser but that probably meant at least he was good at Potions, right?

He scurried away to get the Potions ingredients without saying anything.  I missed Eve already, I think Potions just hit my least favourite subject.

*

Albus

So I had made it ten minutes into my first class of the day before blowing something up. She stormed angrily ahead of me down the Potions corridor. I felt like a little dog trying to keep up. I'm sure if I could have seen her face then I would see hell flash in her eyes. She seemed so mad. It was an accident though. I winced as I noticed how red the patch on her arm had become. Rose always said it was my concentration levels that hindered me in potions, and she is probably right. I can't believe I pissed off the most popular girl in school as if I wasn't already a total loser. I had basically painted a target on my back with this latest development.

"Are you a walking disaster Potter?" she said, turning around to face me with her hands placed firmly on her hips. She was looking at me as if I murdered her cat or something, though melting a designer handbag is probably the same thing to her.

The clear answer is I am a walking disaster, yes. I think I have been since birth, I don't know what to say to that. She wasn't the person that I would want to be admitting weaknesses to. Unfortunately for me, it's written all over my face. It isn't all my fault, she wasn't helping at all. She was paying no notice at all, maybe if I had her help then I wouldn't have mucked up so badly.

"You weren't helping!" I protested, I don't know why I bothered because it seemed all I achieved was to make her even more angry. She narrowed her eyes as she stared at me, judging every inch of me. I can't say I enjoyed her eyes scanning me in that way. She had the ability to completely unnerve me.

"My last partner didn't need help to count to five!" she said spitefully, her voice rising as she spoke. "This bag was 500 galleons!"

500?! Who pays that for a handbag? My family were rich but that's unreal. How am I going to replace a handbag for that price? That's going to go down so well with my dad. Shit. ‘Hey, can I borrow 500 galleons Dad?". I don't think so. I felt worse with every word she was saying. I wish she would just stop talking.

"I'm sorry," I said miserably.

Useless, useless, useless.

Oh dear, I could feel it, I knew what was coming. I felt my chest tightening. She had turned away marching away with her high-heels clacking loudly on the stone floor. I was going to be left here all on my own. I don't know how I was going to move from here. I tried not to let my panic take over. I tried to focus my mind but it was too late, I knew I was spiraling.

Please not now, not here.

I could hear my own jagged breath loud in my ears, I felt that familiar feeling of panic rearing its ugly head in my chest. I felt light-headed but before I had a chance to sit down, I felt my legs crumble and I found myself on the floor. I needed to stop myself, I couldn't have an attack here. I knew it was already too late.

She was going to leave and I would be totally alone, I didn't know if I wanted her to stay or walk away. It was almost confusing me as I tried to decide. My mum always told me it was useful to stick my head between my legs; I wasn't sure if I found this helpful but I always did it anyway. I fought not to cry. I was somewhat aware of that click-clack noise again. She was walking towards me but I didn't look up, I needed to think of myself.  There was the moment when I lost control and suddenly I couldn't be sure if my next breath wouldn't be my last.

She was speaking to me. I didn't know what she was saying but I could register her voice from somewhere far away.

"What are you doing? Hurry up!"

"Get up! We're need to go to hospital wing! My burn isn't going to heal itself!"

"Are you ok?"

"Are you having a panic attack?!"

"Potter, Potter, Potter!"

Finally, her voice sounded clear again. She spoke without a trace of anger anymore. She said my name, ‘Albus', so softly, it was the first thing that I heard clearly. She was crouching down next to me, I could feel her close to me. I felt her slip her hand in mine. It was somehow comforting. Why was she doing this?

I forced my head up to look at her. My heart was still pounding so hard against my chest that I thought it might leap out of my body. I looked into her eyes. They were huge and cased in long dark lashes; at first, they were so dark, an intense brown. They were the type of eyes that you could get lost in looking for answers, however in her dark orbs I could see her kindness filter through, which highlighted the softer tones in her eyes. For a moment, I couldn't think straight, and her eyes became my universe. I could see her lips moving, telling me that I was safe and that I was going to be ok. I believed her.

It took me a long time to come down fully though. It was lucky that Potions was a double period.  We sat side by side on the cold stone floor, her hand still slipped into my mine. I was horribly embarrassed but she didn't say anything, she just sat there with me. She seemed happy to do it, my head swam with a million questions that I didn't dare ask her.

"I think we better get to the hospital wing now, you need a calming solution and I could do with dealing with this burn," she said, getting to her feet. Finally taking her hand back.

"Of course," I agreed. She smiled, just a bit but it seemed to be genuine one. She offered out her small, manicured hand once more and I took it as she pulled me to my feet. I didn't look at her the rest of the way. I couldn't find the words so I chose silence, It didn't feel like an awkward one but it wasn't a comfortable one either.

I had been thinking nearly the whole way that what I should say to her. I should thank her really for dealing with me so well. I decided to stop overthinking it and just say something, anything. She had to know that I was capable of words.

"Thank you for you know-erm-well-your help," I said finally as she reached the door, perhaps I'm not capable of words. It didn't quite come out as I planned. I guess she still cut an imposing figure to me. She was now looking at me with mild interest, I think.

"That's ok," she said softly before adding, "If you need anything then you could always come to me, I mean I think you could use some help in Potions for a start."

"You're offering to tutor me?" I said in disbelief. Apart from saving herself some money so I didn't blow up another handbag, I failed to see why she wanted to do this. No-one wanted to spend more time with me. In fact, the only people who wanted to spend time with me were related to me or Scorpius.

"I am," she confirmed, then she laughed. "A girl has to protect her handbag collection!"

I couldn't help wonder what odd universe I had fallen into when someone like her turned out to be a nice person. She was still terrifying obviously, but I felt alright in her company. A lot calmer than I had felt since Reed said announced we would be getting new partners anyway.

I just had to explain to Madame Longbottom why I needed the calming solution without my parents finding out, that'll be the tricky part. Why is everyone personal friends with my parents?