It started as a joke. Really, he swears. But, as it kept going, it just got funnier. Like, really, if he was being threatened, he would think something would have happened by now.
The boy who lived, saviour of the wizarding world, and a published author on parseltongue. Harry Potter, who as it turns out, listened to the Weasley twins one too many times. Who else would find it fun to torment his work partner in the snake's tongue.
Draco Malfoy, a former bully and death-eater, now working for the ministry and alongside Potter no less. It's not that Draco ever actually hated Potter, but he wasn't a fanboy.
Ever since the fall of Voldemort. The guaranteed demise of him rather, Harry and Draco have found work in an office in the ministry of magic, wanting reform and to help the underdogs. However, they work in the same department, same office, and unfortunately for them, since they are the youngests in their department, it was decided that they would be partners and work together (well, maybe it was rather fortunate to work with someone they already knew, but they would both deny that).
On the way to the office, some random Tuesday, Harry found a small green grass snake. He decided, well more, the snake decided, that it was his now. "So, do you have a name?" Harry, in all his wisdom, asked the random snake. "Um no. why would I, you picked me up from the ground. You're not very observant." Harry didn't want to hear it, he just found this snake, and it was already sassing him, how rude. ‘Fine, your name is Kassy, happy?" "yessss".
As Harry reached the office, he decided it was best if Kassy rested on his neck, you know, it's warm and well, it might be fun to scare some people. Reaching his and Malfoys office, he is laughing to himself ‘ oh Draco is gonna freak’. Walking in, he was, for once, correct, Draco immediately freaked out. ‘MERLIN POTTER, IS THAT A SNAKE, GET IT AWAY FROM ME!’. Draco was terrified, I mean, who wouldn't be, it's a bloody snake. ‘ nah, I’m keeping her, her name is Kassy.’ After that, they got to work, Draco still very on edge, and Harry revelling in the sheer hilarity of the situation. very on edge, and Harry revelling in the sheer hilarity of the situation.
While they were working away, occasionally asking the others opinions on a document, this was how it always was, never acknowledging the other until something cropped up. Harry was talking to Kassy, or well, rather hissing, and Draco was becoming more unnerved. ‘Potter, would you quit that, it's strange’. Harry waits, thinking over his options and finally settling on saying ‘ Fine Malfoy, but it's your hand she bites not mine’ as he walks away, smiling. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ If it was possible, Draco paled more than usual, now terrified. You may ask yourself, what was Harry actually saying to Kassy, he was only telling her that he wanted pasta for dinner.
As time went on, Draco became more adjusted to having a snake in the office, and the damn snake obviously had attachment issues, Potter couldn't go anywhere without it. But he was still unnerved, Potter kept hissing to her, and it was always so aggressive, so Draco made sure to be on his best behaviour while the snake was there. He discovered the hard way, if he made any snide comments, Potter would tell the snake something and she would hiss at him.
Harry’s work life had never been quieter. Sine getting Kassy, Malfoy had stopped with the snide comments, well, maybe not fully by himself, but it was so funny, he would say something, and Harry would say something in parseltongue mundane like “oh I’m going to see Ron and Hermione later”, or sometimes a small complement to Draco like “He has spectacular eyes” and hold Kassy out to hiss.
Soon enough, Draco became tired of this little party trick, and decided that if Potter had written a book about this language, maybe there is a guide about speaking it. Months went by and Draco, while being unable to fully understand the conversations, could get a grasp on the fact he was never actually being threatened. Potter, the dickhead.
Harry never even realised that Draco had stopped reacting to the snake, he was so wrapped up in just how funny he thought it was. Kassy, however, is incredibly smart, and realised.
One day, Draco had had enough, he had learned enough parseltongue, through various sources, to tell Harry to piss off, (and when did he start thinking of Potter as Harry). And he did. Draco was being, well Draco, and Harry had had enough for today, so he used his usual tactic, except, instead of the usual reaction, he got a very broken “piss off ya dick” back. It was Harry's turn to be shocked. ‘Wait…WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT’ ‘what was what Potter, use your words’. ‘I..you… you speak parseltongue?’ Draco laughingly mocking his expression ‘No Potter, I do not, however, I do research, and enough research taught me enough’
From that day, Harry stopped taunting Draco with the snake, and instead started teaching him, and the two were never happier to spend time together.