Bejeweled

At least she got to dress up for this stupid night. Bellatrix always did love an excuse to get fancied up. She’d worked with Cissy to charm one of her gowns into a more Muggle-like style, since that was the dress code. The other Slytherin girls didn’t seem to mind that part, it was just a costume for one night after all. 

Now her black gown was a short, silky dress. The top was a simple sleeveless turtle neck, but the skirt was raunched up in two places, one at the front of each hip, creating an elegant half moon of fabric between them and visual interest to the piece. A second straight layer of tight skirt was under the first to keep the outfit from being wildly inappropriate, but still remain sexy. She paired it with black suede heeled boots that went up to her knees, an elegant—but slightly messy because of her curls—up-do, a grey smokey eye and nude lip. Finally, she added a set of Black family heirloom jewelry. The earrings were large round studs with an emerald in the center surrounded by smaller diamonds. The necklace had a larger matching pendant on a silver chain that fell right at her breast bone. Overall, she thought she cleaned up quite nice. 

If only the rest of the evening would be as enjoyable as getting ready. 

She was going with the other Slytherins, the Future Death Eater gang who were all pissed off they had to attend. She would be expected to sit in the corner with them, complaining about being there until they had stayed long enough to fulfill the requirement of attendance, and then going back to the Slytherin Common Room as fast as they could. What fun. All while everyone else got to enjoy some of her favorite music, dancing with their friends until the party inevitably moved to the other common rooms. 

And, of course, Remus would be there. Bellatrix didn’t know how she’d react if he brought a date, even though she had no right to be upset if he did. Even if they were still talking, she’d been clear that it couldn’t be romantic, at least not right now. Though especially not now that they weren’t talking; now that she’d ran away and left the bridge burning behind her. 

“Ready?” Cissy asked, having gotten ready in the 7th year girls’ dorm with Bella. 

Bellatrix took a deep breath, giving herself a final once over in the mirror. “As I’ll ever be,” she answered. At least Cissy would interpret her dread inaccurately. 

The Future Death Eaters walked up to the Great Hall as a group, and several of them made audible sounds of disgust when they saw the inside. The place was decorated beautifully, only with non-magical decorations. There were little twinkly fairy lights, surely working through magic in order to function at Hogwarts, but at least appearing completely electric. There were pretty white paper streamers that arched from the very tippy-top center of the ceiling to the walls, just above the windows, creating a tent-top appearance, but they hung over a plain stone backdrop, no magical sky to be seen. 

There was a buffet table along one wall, stacked high with all kinds of snacks and several punch bowls that were sure to be spiked before too long, but the tiny decorative snowflakes that dusted what little bare table showed through were made of paper instead of real snow enchanted not to melt. Just like the icicles that hung from different points around the room were surely glass. 

Bella thought it was truly amazing how the room could be so transformed without magic, a completely different space from where they’d all eaten dinner only a couple hours before, but she had to keep the awe off her face and instead give a sneer of disapproval. 

Her group quickly claimed one of the few circular tables dotted around the room. Most of the space was dedicated to the huge dance floor, where Bella would not be allowed to go for the duration of her attendance. 

Professor Hoben was set up on a small raised platform with equipment Bellatrix didn’t recognize opposite the buffet table, in the middle of one of the long sides of the room instead of up by where the staff table usually sat. Whatever the machines were, they were clearly for controlling the music for the evening, which came out of large black boxes sitting around the room instead of being magically amplified. Sometimes Hoben would speak into a black stick, much too fat to be a wand, asking if everyone was enjoying themselves or getting the students excited for whatever song she was going to play next. It was so completely unfair how good the music was. 

Bellatrix had been exploring Hoben’s album collection since the Professor had offered. She simply returned the albums once she was finished with them, and left a note on Hoben’s desk with the list of what she’d taken this time. It had become an almost weekly ritual; every Thursday night during rounds she’d stop by the Muggle Studies classroom, usually exchanging two or three at a time in order to take her time with her favorites. Hoben had requested them all back for the dance, so this was the first week in a long time where Bella hadn’t been able to explore and fall in love with new music. Which just made not being able to enjoy herself tonight even worse. 

Though at one point Bella wondered if Hoben was purposefully tailoring the music to Bella’s own taste with how she knew every single song. Many of them coming from albums she’d kept longer than a week. Had Hoben kept track, or was it just a coincidence? Bella supposed that Hoben could simply have good taste. But that meant Bella was spending her time sitting on the sidelines listening to people she didn’t even like talk about how horrible everything was, while everyone else got to dance to her favorite music in a beautifully decorated hall. At least Hoben hadn’t played any Taylor Swift yet, that would have just been torture. 

“You’re quiet tonight,” Cissy whispered to her at one point. 

Bellatrix shrugged. “Not enjoying myself,” she answered. At least it wasn’t difficult to keep a sneer on her face, what everyone here expected of her. 

“We’ll be able to go soon,” Cissy assured her, then turned her attention back to the group. 

Bella’s eyes didn’t leave the dance floor. The way the mass of Hogwarts students swayed and rolled to the beat, the unintentional current of motion moving different groups in and out of her vision. The muggle borns were clearly having a blast, knowing almost every single song played. Half-bloods were clearly enjoying themselves too, knowing more or less depending on how much influence their muggle parent had on them. And then there was the mix of purebloods. Obviously Bella’s group was sitting to the side talking shit, and there were a few other handfuls scattered around the hall waiting for this ritual to end, but the ones from the other houses seemed to be having plenty of fun despite not knowing anything. Laughing with their friends, singing the repetitive bits of songs when they could catch on, and carrying on like their blood status didn’t mean a damn thing. 

Just like Bella wanted to. 

As the sea of bodies moved, a group of particular interest came into view. The sixth year Gryffindors, boys and girls, all dancing in a circle together. Of course that included Cousin Sirius and James Potter, who fell into the group of purebloods who were enjoying this bit of cultural studies. It included Lily, who was enjoying herself dancing between one of the girls who Bellatrix didn’t know and…Remus. 

Bella’s heart squeezed. Was that a date? We’re they at the dance together? No…no it didn’t seem like it. Besides, Remus had told Bella all about his friend’s obsession with the redhead. The longer she looked, the more it seemed like Remus was purposefully standing between his two friends in order to keep James from getting too close to the object of his affection. 

That’s where she wanted to be. Right there, between the two people she actually considered her friends. Enjoying the music, dancing, and singing at the top of her lungs. She wanted it so bad it was a tangible thing inside of her, clawing at her insides to get out. 

He didn’t look like a monster. Not right now. He looked like her Remus. Maybe a little tired, maybe not as excited as the others, but having fun with his friends. With that same killer smile that made her heart flutter. 

“Thank fuck!” Avery exclaimed. “It’s been over an hour, we’re free.” He hopped up out of his chair and started making his way towards the door, the Future Death Eaters falling in line behind him, making their way through the limited space single file, Bellatrix at the end. 

She thought she’d be relieved when it was over. Ready to go back to her dorm and shut herself away, glad to not have to stare it in the face anymore, but instead she felt her feet dragging. 

As the current song came to a close, Hoben’s voice filled the air once more, “So many of you are sparkling tonight…but are any of you Bejeweled?" 

One of Bellatrix’s favorite songs—hell, maybe her favorite song—began to play. 

It wasn’t fucking fair. 

It wasn’t fair that everyone else got to enjoy her song, the one that made her feel better after the Dark Lord’s betrayal. It wasn’t fair that she was leaving when the dance would go on for two more hours. It wasn’t fair that she had to pretend to like these awful Future Death Eaters; wasn’t fair that she had to pretend to be one. It wasn’t fair that her parents expected so much of her because of their outdated, bullshit ideas around blood purity and how a good daughter of the ancient and most noble House of Black should act. 

She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to be the good little girl anymore, the favorite daughter. Didn’t want to be the perfect pureblood princess. She didn’t believe in any of it! Not anymore! 

Bellatrix realized that she was a blood traitor. She was truly, fully, sincerely a blood traitor. And it felt amazing. 

Invisible ropes she hadn’t even been aware of finally released her, strangling her no more. Who cared what her parents thought about it? She was 17, a legal adult in the wizarding world. She didn’t have to go back to them if she didn’t want to. They couldn’t hurt her anymore. 

Who cared what the other Slytherins would say? It wasn’t their life. They could make their own damn choices, and judge as much as they most definitely would, she was the one who would have to live with whatever she did now, not them. 

The people that mattered, the ones that truly cared about her, would understand. 

Lily was her friend. Her real friend who was just as capable of witch as any pureblood. Who was also kind and funny and witty and had put up with way too much from Bellatrix as she’d spent months trying to untangle the web her parents wove around her. 

And Remus. Remus who was as much a monster as he was trash. Not one fucking bit. Cousin Sirius was right—Bella wanted to laugh, Cousin Sirius had apparently been right about a lot of things. 

And Andy. Andy. Her sister—she could have her sister back! It would be a hell of a conversation, but their short one in the library over Christmas gave her hope that Andy would understand. Would forgive her. 

Bellatrix knew she could no longer walk the path she’d been on for so long. That had been set for her; the future written in stone. She didn’t want it, couldn’t accept it. The only way forward was to turn her back and run. 

“And by the way,” Taylor Swift’s voice rang out over the room. 

Bellatrix took a deep breath, stopping just before she crossed through the doors of the Great Hall, and turned back towards the room she very much wanted to be in. 

“I’m going out tonight,” she sang along.