Remus knew that Sirius was suspicious of him. His questions about Remus’ missions were getting more intensive and more insistent each time. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d kissed. Every time one of them came home from a mission, they’d fuck viciously on the closest surface, whispering ‘I missed you’ and ‘I was so scared’ and ‘You’re ok’. But once they were done, it was back to keeping each other at arms’ length.
Remus returned from spending the full moon and the following week with a werewolf pack in Devon to find Sirius staring into the empty fireplace. He didn’t acknowledge Remus at all. He didn’t jump to his feet and throw his arms around him, or even shove him back against the door like he had last time.
“Sirius?” Remus said quietly.
“James and I bumped into Greyback yesterday,” Sirius said. “Just before he sent a curse at James, he asked how the spy was.”
Remus’ heart sank. “Sirius, I can—”
“Dumbledore’s talking about sending James, Lily and Harry into hiding.” He snarled, “And you’re working for Voldemort? After everything we’ve done for you?”
“I’m not a spy for Voldemort,” Remus said firmly. “I’m a spy for the fucking order. I’ve been going to werewolf packs to try and convince them not to side with Voldemort. I’ve been getting myself torn apart by other werewolves who don’t trust me or like me every month for the last year, Sirius. I would never put them in danger.” He inhaled sharply. “I knew you were suspicious of me, but Albus said I couldn’t tell anyone.”
“Then why are you telling me now?”
“Because you clearly think I’m capable of betraying you all, despite everything you’ve done for me.” Remus’ voice shook. “I’m a lot of things, but I’m not a traitor and I’m not a fucking coward.”
Sirius stared at him, realisation dawning on him. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I don’t think there’s any other way to mean it.” He shrugged his coat back onto his shoulders.
“Where are you going?” Sirius stood up.
“Literally anywhere else.”