Regulus wasn’t sure what prompted him to ask him on a date. It goes against everything he was raised to believe in. Yes, he is a pureblood. But, he is also a blood traitor. Best friends with his brother, with the Potter boy, and a halfblood. If his mother knew that Regulus Arcturus Black, pureblood, the Black heir, her precious son, had asked Peter Pettigrew, pureblood, the Pettigrew heir, blood traitor, on a date… Well, she would not be a happy woman, that’s for sure.
It was a strange morning for the Black heir, he had potions first thing, followed by Defence Against the Dark Arts where Barty and him were partnered for the whole class. Barty Crouch Jr, pureblood, the Crouch heir, son of the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement Barty Crouch Sr. He would claim to be Regulus’ best friend, and he would neither confirm nor deny it. Regulus wasn’t sure he had any true friends these days. Barty just… stuck around.
On the way to the Great Hall, Barty was distracted by Evan Rosier when Regulus saw him. Peter was walking towards the Hall but Regulus was quicker, grabbing the boy by the wrist and dragging him behind the nearby tapestry that led to a little alcove he had found earlier in the year when Sirius refused to look at him. It was a lovely place to hide from the disappointment radiating off his brother everytime he so much as acknowledged Regulus was in proximity to him. He would often bring a book to read, he loved getting lost in the words on the pages, forgetting everything going on in the world around him.
“Regulus? What are you–”
“Do you want to hang out later? Like a date. Or not. Whatever you prefer.” Regulus blurted out, cutting the Pettigrew boy off. He looked alarmed at first, the fear of them being caught was an obvious factor. “Not… in public.” He amended, “Maybe somewhere private, like the Kitchens?”
A smile crept on Peter’s face, lodged between two small dimples that Regulus had to resist the overwhelming urge to poke. “It’s a date then.” He replied, “What time?” Regulus had not planned that far ahead, he didn’t even plan on asking the boy on a date in the first place. He just wanted to see him again, somewhere he didn’t have to pretend he didn’t exist.
“When you leave the Great Hall at the end of the day. Don’t eat too much.” Regulus responded and he hoped that Peter wouldn’t take that as an insult, but as a clue. He wanted to have a meal with him, together, just the two of them, alone. Regulus wanted to go on a date with Peter, a normal one where they’re not sneaking away from their friends to hang out in abandoned classrooms or broom cupboards. He wanted to sit and have dinner with the one person he cannot.
Peter nodded and gestured towards the tapestry they were hiding behind, indicating that he was gonna leave. But, as he stepped towards it, Regulus surprised them both by grabbing his wrist and kissing his cheek before running out of the tapestry and into the Great Hall. He hoped that his cheeks were not as red as they felt. That was the first time he had ever done something so affectionate.
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As he sat beside Barty at the Slytherin table, he glanced behind him to see Peter walking towards his friends with a dazed expression. Regulus smirked inwardly, knowing he was the reason for such a reaction was enough to make him want to do it again. He wanted to see the blush rise to his cheeks and the tip of his ears, he wanted to be the reason his eyes went dark and mouth slack. Regulus wanted to make Peter Pettigrew melt every time they met up.
Before it was suspicious, Regulus turned to face the Slytherin table once more. He couldn’t bear it if anyone found out. He wouldn’t survive the reactions that would follow. “Malfoy.” Barty nodded respectfully to the blonde haired boy approaching, responding with a nod of his own. Regulus wondered briefly when the two became acquainted before brushing the thoughts away. He didn’t care, nor did he want to find out.
“So, Regulus. What plans do you have this evening?” Barty asked in an attempt to stir up a conversation between the pair. Regulus froze, the grip on his fork tightening as he worried Barty had somehow overheard his conversation with Peter. Then he remembered the silencing charm and notice-me-not he cast the moment they entered the alcove. There was no possible way for Barty to know of his plans for the evening.
He rolled his shoulders, “Library, probably.” Was his response. He kept vague, knowing that if Barty were to try and locate the boy in the library he would fall short. Regulus couldn’t risk him being suspicious. Not when they shared most classes. He knew Barty was smart and could find out his thing, whatever it was, with Peter.
Barty rolled his eyes, “Boring.” And with that, he moved on to asking Meadowes–Dorcas, a pretty Ravenclaw girl–what her plans were. Despite being a Slytherin himself, Barty was friendly with most Ravenclaws in their year and the year above. Granted it was mostly the purebloods, though Regulus could not blame him for that at all.
After an excruciatingly long History of Magic lesson, Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, and a meal in the Great Hall that lasted an age, Regulus managed to sneak away from his housemates and to the Kitchens. He tickled the pear on the painting, greeting the house elves that welcomed him with a fond look in his eyes. He got himself situated at a small table in the corner, the perfect place to hide if someone unwelcome entered.
It wasn’t long before Peter scurried into the Kitchens, glancing behind him to check the coast was clear before closing the portrait door. He, like Regulus, greeted the house elves before scanning the room. His eyes lit up the moment he spotted Regulus reading in the corner as he nibbled on some cookies the elves gave him.
“Hey,” he mumbled, dropping into the seat opposite Regulus with little to no elegance. He reached for a cookie but was promptly slapped on the hand by the boy in front of him. “Not up to sharing tonight?” He questioned, the smallest smirk present on his face before it disappeared completely. Regulus almost doubted he had actually seen it, but the glint in Peter’s eye was proof enough for him.
“Not these cookies.” Regulus replied, “It’ll ruin my plans for the evening.” He too wore a smirk on his face at the confusion in Peter’s expression. “Rumour has it, Pettigrew, that you can bake.”
Peter blushed, whether it was embarrassment or nerves Regulus would never know, before shrugging in response. “I know a few recipes, why?”
“I don’t.” He replied bluntly, “My mother never taught me. She believes it’s below me and should be left to the house elves.” He scoffed, pushing away the small plate of cookies that he was eating from. “I want you to teach me.”
Not knowing how to mask his surprise, Peter spluttered slightly, “Me? I mean, I can… But I’m not that good at it. My father taught me a few recipes from when he owned a bakery.”
“Perfect.” Regulus replied, not giving Peter a chance to back out as he stood up and grabbed the boy's wrist–once again–and dragged him to the appliances. Immediately, the house elves crowded the two of them, offering to cook anything they wanted. Regulus politely declined their offers, insisting that he wanted to bake something himself. They didn’t quite know what to do in a situation like this, and busied themselves with cleaning the counters before moving over to the rest of the kitchens.
“So, Pettigrew, take it away.” He smirked, conjuring a chair to sit on as he watched Peter begin to make the kitchen his own. Once he had figured out where everything was stored, he was quick to get to work. Regulus sat there watching him, nothing but adoration in his gaze. “You’re awfully quiet tonight.” He muttered, a wave of concern washing over him.
Peter stilled for a few seconds before continuing as if Regulus had not spoken, but he replied regardless. “It’s just James and Sirius…” He said, not elaborating any further as he knew the elder Black was a sensitive topic. Despite this, Regulus invited the boy to continue if he wanted to.
“They’re close, everyone with a pair of eyes knows that. But, sometimes it feels as though Remus and I don’t exist when we’re with them.” Peter said, beginning to ramble, “Obviously, it’s different for Remus. Him and Sirius have had a thing going on for years… It used to bother him, to begin with.”
Regulus hummed in acknowledgement, “They are best friends, even Pandora noticed and she’s usually in a world of her own.” It was fond, the way he talked about the Rosier girl. She was Evan’s twin, and probably the only person Regulus was ever truly honest with. He would never open up to her properly, but she was the first and only person to know his true feelings regarding Sirius leaving Grimmauld Place.
“I miss when James and I were that close.” Peter admitted in a whisper, so quiet Regulus wouldn’t have been able to hear him if he wasn’t so interested in anything the boy talked about. “It just sucks, I guess. They’re my best friends, and it’s not like they ignore me or exclude me in anything. But sometimes, I find myself missing the way we were before Hogwarts. James and I were inseparable, we did everything together.”
Regulus did not know how to comfort Peter and it killed him to see him so beat up about this, so he did all that he could. He listened to him talk about everything he and James did as kids, before they started their first year. The pranks, the family meals, playing Quidditch together, everything. Regulus couldn’t say he knew what he felt, but he understood to an extent. It was similar to him and Sirius. Before he was sorted into Gryffindor, the two brothers were as close as anyone could ever be. Before he became friends with James Potter, Regulus was Sirius’ brother.
Regulus enjoyed listening to Peter talk. He could not think of a better way to spend his evening. Watching his face light up when talking about a subject he is passionate about was something he hoped he never got used to. Not for a bad reason, of course, but because the light in his eyes, the curve of his lips, the faint blush on his cheeks, all of that was worth more than any gold could amount. Regulus hoped the light in Peter was never snuffed out, and he vowed to make sure no one in his life attempted to do so.
Time passed easily between the pair and soon enough they were sitting in the corner once more, although this time they were eating cupcakes and brownies that Peter had baked whilst Regulus watched. He knew that years down the line, Regulus would be remembering this evening fondly.
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They said their goodbyes and split off to go to their respective common rooms, but at the sound of commotion in the next corridor, Regulus backtracked to see what was going on. There, in the corridor, stood James, Sirius and Remus, with Peter quickly approaching the trio, standing opposite to Snape, Avery and Mulciber. James and Severus appeared to be arguing about something Regulus could not hear from behind the wall. He didn’t know where to look, at his brother’s spark of mischief in his eyes or at Peter trying to drag the two best friends away with the reluctant help of Lupin.
It happened so quickly, that Regulus didn’t know who raised their wand first. What he did know was Peter was on the floor bleeding. So much blood. And Snape was sporting a bruised lip, cut cheek, and boils on his hands. James lowered his wand, immediately rushing to Pete sprawled out on the floor. Regulus watched. He stood, and he watched.
“Snape! Potter!” A stern voice boomed through the corridor. He could feel someone tugging his arm but he was frozen in place, staring at his lifeless body in the middle of the corridor. People were talking, Regulus was being dragged away, so much was happening and all he heard was silence. The world around him quietened by his heart beating faster than ever before. He needed to get out, he needed to breathe.
Somehow, he ended up in the Slytherin Common Room. It took a while for him to calm down, but looking to his right he saw Barty watching him curiously. He must have been the one to bring him back. He saw everything. His reaction to Pete getting hexed…
“You alright, Black?” Barty asked. For a second, Regulus could’ve sworn there was concern behind his gaze. But it was gone quicker than he could analyse it. Too scared to speak, Regulus nodded.
“He’s okay. He didn’t get hit,” He said, in an oddly comforting manner. With furrowed brows, Regulus lifted his gaze to Barty. “Sirius. Snape missed and hit that Pettigrew boy.” His chest felt tight. Finding out that Sirius wasn’t injured made him feel lighter, and relieved. But the reminder of Peter being injured was enough to squash that feeling.
Again, Regulus nodded, thankful for the excuse for his reaction. The realisation that Barty had seen him like that made his skin crawl. He hated it. At least he didn’t suspect a thing. That was a good thing, he supposed.
Barty stayed with him for a few more hours before disappearing into their dorm, returning minutes later with one of Regulus’ favourite books. He dropped it on the sofa beside the boy and left once more. Regulus couldn’t have hidden his shock even if he tried to. Barty knew what his favourite book was. Did he care enough to notice those things?
Shaking away the spiral of thoughts in his head, Regulus picked up the book–Frankenstein by Mary Shelley–and allowed himself to get lost in the pages. Inevitably, he could not stop his mind from digging its way into the fear he had regarding Pete. His Pete.
Before he knew it the common room was empty and forty-five minutes past curfew. Deciding that now was as good a time as any–with his housemates asleep in their dorms–he cast a disillusionment charm on himself and made his way to the Hospital Wing.
Upon entering–after being successful in his attempt at entering silently–he spotted Peter almost instantly, it was like he gravitated towards the boy instinctively. His feet were moving before his brain had the chance to process the action, flopping into the chair beside his bed ungracefully. Regulus still had the book that Barty had given him and decided there was no better time than beside Peter’s hospital bed to read it. And so, for the next couple of hours, Regulus read out loud–whispering quiet enough that Madam Pompfrey would not hear him–to the sleeping boy he cared so dearly for.
Regulus should be scared; for the way he feels about Peter, for the reaction of his friends if they ever found out, for the reaction of his brother, his parents, anyone really that would disagree with their relationship–was it even a relationship if they never said those words explicitly, if they never so much as kissed?
With the thoughts of his family, his friends, and Peter, Regulus fell asleep in the chair with Frankenstein discarded on his lap. It was risky, but it wasn’t like he could help it. He didn’t even know he had fallen asleep until he awoke with an ache in his neck unlike anything he had ever experienced before. Thankfully, Pete was still asleep and Regulus hoped he had slept the whole night.
The sun had not yet risen, but it didn’t look far off, so he slowly got up and started walking to the entrance of the Hospital Wing. But, Peter was asleep. And it wasn’t like he would ever know, so Regulus turned back to the boy and placed a soft, featherlight kiss on his forehead.
He sighed, the tension in his shoulders disappearing, and continued his exit from the Hospital Wing. Regulus hoped, foolishly, that Barty did not notice that he never arrived at the dorm last night. And that, if he was lucky, he would not be awake to witness Regulus arriving at 4:30 in the morning.
The days that Peter was in the Hospital Wing were excruciating for the young Black heir, not knowing if he was okay or being able to visit was taking its toll on the boy. He glared as his brother and his friends left in the direction to the Hospital Wing, stabbing his eggs angrily as they laughed and made jokes. Regulus should take that as a good thing, really, as logically it meant that Peter was doing well. But, seeing them so happy and talking naturally as if Peter might never have been part of their little group made his blood boil. Did they not miss their fourth member?
When Peter entered the Great Hall, four days after the incident with Snape, everyone in Gryffindor celebrated his return as Regulus watched bitterly. He wished he could do the same, he wanted to jump up and down in pure joy as he watched the mousy-haired boy take his seat beside James at their table. He looked much better than when Regulus saw him asleep in the Hospital Wing.
As he was eating, Regulus couldn’t stop himself from glancing across the hall to catch even the slightest glimpse that he was there. Four days felt like a lifetime when Peter was not in the Great Hall with him. Even though they could not sit together, or talk in public, or look too long at one another, knowing that he was there was enough.
Remembering a spell that Professor Flitwick had taught him a few weeks ago, Regulus wrote a note for Peter before sending it into his pocket. He watched as the boy felt the paper and looked up immediately, Regulus’ breath caught the moment their eyes met and he felt his cheeks heat up intensely before he looked away. At least he could trust that Pete had gotten his message and would meet him in the Astronomy Tower that evening.
Classes dragged through the whole day, making the day feel longer than it was as Regulus waited impatiently for the final bell to ring. Usually, he loved classes. He gave his all into all of his subjects, but after being deprived of the comfort Peter gave him throughout the week, Regulus could not wait to be done with classes and the work to finally see him again. He wondered if Peter knew of Regulus’ visit to the Hospital Wing the first night, or if he thought that Regulus hadn’t bothered.
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When the bell rang, Regulus was gone from the Transfiguration room instantly. He couldn’t handle waiting until Barty was distracted enough for him to slip away, he needed to see Peter. Upon entering the Tower, he found Peter waiting anxiously for him to arrive. “Hey,” Regulus murmured, sitting on a bench beside where he was standing.
“Hey,” Peter replied. There was a sadness to his tone Regulus could not identify the reason for. He reached over the table, slowly intertwining their fingers and holding his hand. He ignored the feeling of his skin burning, rejecting all physical content as usual. Regulus couldn't care less when a tingling sensation as if his skin was crawling crept over him. He would get over it. Right now, Pete was his priority.
“What’s wrong?” He asked tentatively, Peter knew that Regulus did not handle emotions well. Regulus could never understand his own nevermind anyone else’s. He hoped that Pete would forget all about it and tell Regulus what was on his mind, if not to ease his worries then to allow him the comfort of listening to Pete speak.
Peter took a tentative breath in, “You didn’t visit.” Regulus cursed mentally, he wasn’t prepared to have this conversation with the boy. Admitting that he snuck away from his housemates to visit Peter past curfew, read to him, and kissed him, was overwhelming and his mind revolted.
“I did.” He mumbled, barely audible, but by the sharp intake of breath from the boy in front of him, Regulus could assume that he heard. “It was past curfew, you were already asleep. I read to you…” He trailed off, refusing eye contact.
“You did?” Pete whispered breathily, as if he could not believe that Regulus cared enough about him to risk such a thing. He nodded, fighting the blush that threatened to creep up his neck. “Thank you.”
“Are you okay?” Regulus asked, finally looking at the boy in front of him. He had dark circles under his eyes and his skin was more ashen than ever before. He looked ill, probably from lack of sleep. Regulus wondered sparingly if he had been the cause. If him not visiting caused him to stay awake hoping, only to be disappointed by the Black heir once more.
Peter shrugged in a noncommittal gesture, “I am now, just tired.” He looked out into the darkness, admiring the stars littering the sky. “Do you know any constellations?” He asked as Regulus stood to join him by the bannister.
“I know many,” He replied, humming gently when Peter timidly laid his head on Regulus’ shoulder. Regulus grabbed Pete’s hand, enjoying the jolt of electricity that spiralled up his eyes at the contact, and pointed with it to several constellations. Pete’s smile was breathtaking and Regulus wondered if he would ever be able to calm the fast paced beating of his heart. They stayed like that for a few minutes, enjoying the peace and quiet the Astronomy Tower always brought them before Peter asked if he wanted to play Wizard’s Chess with him.
They got themselves as comfortable as they could on the floor of the Tower as Pete enlarged the box he had in his pocket the whole time. After getting it set up, the two began to play. Regulus tried to beat him, truly he did, but Peter was always two steps ahead. After three dreadful losses, Regulus insisted they do something else with the short amount of time they had left.
“Like what?” Peter asked, making eye contact with him once more. Regulus tenderly reached for his hand, making no effort to move from where they were sitting. He just wanted to hold him. Regulus was never an affectionate guy, he resented physical contact entirely, but after that night in the Hospital Wing the only thing Regulus could think about was how wonderful it was to kiss the boy goodnight. Even if it was only on his forehead.
Regulus shrugged, playing with Peter’s fingers, moving them back and forth as he smiled softly. Pete watched, admiring the look of content on the Black heir’s face. Before he knew what he was doing, before he could stop himself, Peter kissed the top of Regulus’ head. He felt the boy freeze, stopping what he was doing as he looked up at Peter slowly. Without warning, Regulus’s hands were on his face and he pulled him down to meet him halfway. Not that Pete needed him to pull him, he was leaning in regardless.
Their lips met and the whole world melted away around them. There were no fireworks, no spark of electricity, nothing drastic happened. It was peaceful, calm, their lips fit together like puzzle pieces slotting in place perfectly. Regulus’ hands went slack and they rested on Peter’s shoulders. Peter’s hands found their way to the Black boy’s waist, holding him there firmly as he deepened the kiss.
They pulled away in a haze, eyes glazed over, and intertwined their hands once more as they caught their breath. It was magical, more so than any spell or incantation they had ever been taught in their years at Hogwarts. When they kissed, it felt like coming home. Like they had found a home within each other, a place of comfort and safety.
“That was…”
“Yeah.” Regulus finished for him, a content smile overtaking his features as he leaned into the Pettigrew boy. “Amazing.” Neither of them wanted to leave, they took advantage of the freedom they had to be together in silence.
“Regulus,” Peter spoke softly after a few minutes, “What are we?”
The dreaded question.
Regulus did not know how to answer, all he knew was that he never wanted to leave Peter’s side. The idea of being Pete’s boyfriend was tempting, but that brought along more risk than he had signed up for and Regulus could not condemn him to that.
“Pete… I–” Regulus didn’t know how to turn his thoughts into words and a sigh escaped his lips, “I don’t know. I want to be… more. But I know that comes with so much more risk, we would have to be a secret. I cannot ask you to subject yourself to that…”
“You’re not asking me to. I am asking you, Reg. I want to be your boyfriend…” Pete trailed off in uncertainty and Regulus wanted to do nothing more than kiss the frown off his face, so he did.
“You called me Reg.” He said with a smug smile on his face, but Pete saw right through it. Peter could see the softness in his eyes, the blush that had crept its way onto his face. He saw through Regulus’ mask. “I like it.”
“I’m glad.” Peter smiled genuinely in response.
“If you’re okay with sneaking around,” Regulus began, inhaling slightly as he prepared himself for the next words. “I would love for you to be my boyfriend.”
Peter could not hide his excitement, nor his happiness, as he kissed the Black heir, Regulus Arcturus Black, his boyfriend, eagerly. He did not care that they had to stay a secret, he loved having something to himself for once. Something not even Sirius could take from him. He cared for Regulus, more than he ever expected to, and now he was Peter’s Regulus. Not Sirius’ little brother, not the shy Slytherin, not the Black heir. He was Peter’s. And Peter was his. Regulus had Peter entirely. Neither knew what the future entailed for the both of them, individually and together, but they would face that together.