Mixed Signals

July 3, 1993, Day 3 of the European Potioneers Assembly in Vienna

The first ray of morning light filtered gently through the curtains, bathing the hotel room in a warm summer glow. Severus opened his eyes slowly, feeling Katya's body curled up against his. The sensation was strange yet comforting. They had fallen asleep while watching the film the night before, a moment so intimate and natural that it surprised him.

Severus glanced at the time; it was still far too early to rise. Carefully, he slipped out of bed, taking care not to wake Katya, and walked towards the windows. He closed the curtains a little more, blocking out the excess light that threatened to disturb her peaceful sleep. A faint smile curved his lips as he recalled the previous night. It had been different, deeper than he had ever imagined—an intimacy that had left him with a strange yet pleasant sense of calm.

When he returned to bed beside her, he watched her for a moment. Katya slept soundly, her face relaxed and serene, without the shadow of worry that sometimes accompanied her. Seeing her like this filled him with a peace he rarely experienced. I could get used to this, Severus thought as he closed his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to enjoy the tranquillity.

Katya woke soon after, stretching slowly before meeting Severus's gaze from his side of the bed.

"Good morning," she murmured, her voice soft and warm, accompanied by a smile that made Severus's heart beat faster than usual.

"Good morning," he replied, maintaining his usual tone, though a sparkle in his eyes betrayed the emotion he was trying to contain.

For a few minutes, they remained silent, enjoying the comfort of the bed and each other's presence. There was no need for words, but the connection between them spoke for itself. However, Katya, as curious as ever, broke the silence first.

"May I ask you a question?" she said, as she reached her hand to his face, gently stroking Severus's cheekbones.

He nodded, interested in what she had to say.

"It's a little indecent," she warned, with a mischievous smile. Severus gestured for her to continue, intrigued.

Katya took a breath and went for it.

"Have you slept with many women?"

The question caught Severus by surprise, but instead of feeling uncomfortable, he let out a soft chuckle. There was something about Katya's frankness that always made him feel he had nothing to hide.

"Two," he answered, watching Katya's face closely, searching for her reaction. But she didn’t blink; her eyes remained fixed on him, full of genuine curiosity. "And you?"

"The same," Katya confessed, holding his gaze. "One... a boyfriend at school, and another guy at a university party."

Severus raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued.

"The one at the party?" he asked, clearly intrigued by the story.

Katya nodded, a slight hint of embarrassment shadowing her face. Remembering that encounter wasn’t something she was particularly proud of. It had been an impulsive moment, a challenge she had imposed on herself to break her "prudish girl" image. But, to her disappointment, it hadn’t been a memorable experience.

"It was... nothing important," Katya admitted, letting out a faint nervous laugh. "At the time, I thought I needed to get it over with, but it wasn’t what I expected."

Severus nodded slowly, understanding what she meant. He, too, had experiences that, in the end, hadn’t meant much. His had been driven by the need to feel something—anything—that could distract him from his daily life. But none of that compared to what he had experienced with Katya the night before. This was different. More real.

"I suppose we all have our stories," Severus said, and with that, he kissed her unexpectedly.

The kiss was an impulsive gesture that Katya couldn’t resist. The desire she had been holding back erupted within her, and, without a second thought, she climbed on top of him, kissing him with unrestrained passion. Their lips met again and again, while Severus held her firmly against his body, as though ensuring the moment wouldn’t slip away.

Within minutes, the room was filled with gasps and breathless moans, the air thick with the energy flowing between them. Katya could feel the tension in every muscle of Severus's body, how his hands gripped her with need. He, with a mix of desire and concern, paused, trying to regain control of himself.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice husky, while his dark eyes looked at her intensely, searching for any hint of doubt.

"Gods, yes," Katya responded with an almost urgent tone, biting his neck gently as she ground against him, desperate to feel more of him.

The friction between their bodies ignited a fire that seemed impossible to extinguish. Severus’s breathing quickened, and his ever-present self-control began to crumble.

"The trousers… take off the trousers," he groaned, his voice barely a whisper laden with desire.

Katya, driven by the urgency of the moment, quickly obeyed. With trembling, eager hands, she shed her clothes, and in one skilful, swift movement, Severus entered her. The contact was explosive, and they began to move in unison, synchronised by the passion consuming them. Katya’s moans and Severus’s growls filled the air as their bodies met again and again in a frenzied dance that seemed endless.

They remained like that for much of the morning, giving themselves fully to each other, forgetting everything else. When the frenzy finally subsided, they lay together, breathing heavily, unable to stop touching one another. They had lost track of time, and when they realised, breakfast had long passed, and they were at risk of being late for the assembly.

As Severus hurried to change, he couldn’t help but pause for a moment to watch Katya. Still with her tousled hair, she moved with a rushed attitude as she decided what to wear. There was something about her naturalness, in the way she carried herself after their intimacy, that made him feel something he rarely experienced: satisfaction. For the first time in a long while, he felt as though he had made someone happy—and not just anyone, but Katya.

For her part, Katya dressed quickly. Although she savoured every second of their shared intimacy, she could not shake off the fear that others might notice something. The thought of becoming the assembly members' gossip irritated her. However, when they rushed into the conference hall and realised everyone was still on break after the first presentation, she felt immediate relief. We dodged a bullet, she thought, allowing herself to breathe calmly.

They joined the rest of the attendees just in time for the presentation by Finn Genod, the respected Potion Master from Sweden. Finn, a meticulous and detail-oriented man, had arrived at the assembly carrying copies of his new book, a work that promised to revolutionise potion formulation, particularly in the field of cures for skin diseases. Severus held great respect for his dedication and knew Katya shared that admiration. Like him, she was eager to acquire a copy, and both requested one before the presentation ended.

While listening to Finn speak, Severus could not take his eyes off Katya. She was entirely absorbed in what the Potion Master was saying, but something about her had changed. There was an energy in her gaze, a sparkle he had not seen before. Her aura, once marked by shadows of sadness, now radiated a different light—more alive, more vibrant. Seeing her so invested and passionate about what she was hearing filled him with deep satisfaction. She’s happy, he thought, and knowing he was part of the reason she felt that way brought an unusual warmth to his chest.

After Finn’s presentation, it was the turn of Anya Müller, a German witch close to Professor Dolgorúkov, whose speciality was antidotes for magical creature venom. Katya was particularly interested in this presentation, and Severus knew it. While Anya spoke, Katya followed every word with almost reverent attention, nodding occasionally, completely absorbed in the topic.

Severus, standing beside her, could not help but smile as he watched her. Katya felt lighter, happier—not just because of the assembly, but because being with Severus and entertaining the possibility of building a relationship with him made her feel more complete. Moreover, the intimacy they had shared that very morning made her blush constantly. Something told her she would not be able to erase those memories from her mind for a long time. For the first time in years, her fear and shame surrounding intimacy had vanished, albeit temporarily.

The day passed quickly, filled with presentations and conversations at the assembly. By the time the final lecture ended, Katya and Severus set about packing the potions they had prepared the previous day. As they carefully sealed boxes filled with vials of various magical formulas, Severus could not stop watching her, thinking about what he had planned for that evening.

“Let’s have dinner together,” he suddenly proposed, breaking the silence as Katya finished securing a box of potions.

Katya looked up, smiling playfully.

“Dinner at the hotel again?” she teased, her tone light and mischievous, recalling the previous night.

Severus shook his head slowly, his gaze intense but relaxed.

“No. We could walk along the canal, have dinner… and”—he paused briefly, moving closer until they were only inches apart—“start your birthday at the hotel,” he whispered into her ear, his deep voice sending a shiver down her spine.

Katya smiled, clearly pleased by the suggestion. She liked this new side of Severus—more relaxed and daring, something she had never seen in him before. Just then, as they exchanged playful glances, they were interrupted by a discreet clearing of the throat behind them.

Professor Arkandy Dolgorúkov, Katya’s mentor and close friend, approached with an amused smile on his lips. They immediately stepped apart, trying to disguise the obvious.

“My dear,” said Dolgorúkov in Russian, his usual warm tone intact, “I wanted to mention that I won’t be at the assembly tomorrow, so… happy birthday in advance.”

He extended a small, round package delicately wrapped. Katya accepted it with an expression of surprise and gratitude.

“Oh, Arkandy,” she exclaimed, opening the package carefully. Her eyes lit up as she discovered a fine gold watch inside. “It’s beautiful!”

“Esme chose it, of course,” Dolgorúkov added with a smile. “She sends her regards.”

Esme, the professor’s wife, had always had impeccable taste, and Katya could not help but smile at the thoughtful gesture. Dolgorúkov cast a quick glance towards Severus, who observed from a distance. Their eyes met briefly, and the professor greeted him with a polite nod, which Severus returned with a subtle dip of his head.

“I suppose you have other plans for today,” Dolgorúkov continued in Russian, casting a knowing glance at Katya.

“Yes, Severus and I are having dinner together,” she replied in the same language, slightly shy but not hiding the truth.

Dolgorúkov nodded, clearly pleased.

“Esme will be delighted to hear about the progress in this relationship,” he joked, lowering his voice just enough for only Katya to hear. “Even if those ‘progresses’ make you late for presentations.”

Katya blushed visibly, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. Dolgorúkov’s joke took her by surprise, and although she appreciated they were speaking in Russian so Severus would not understand, the comment still made her feel exposed. For his part, Severus observed the interaction between them, and though he could not understand the language, he instinctively knew they were talking about him. The blush on Katya’s face and the nervous way she glanced at him confirmed he was the topic of conversation.

Are they questioning our relationship? Severus wondered, feeling a slight discomfort twist in his stomach. Is Dolgorúkov judging me? The fact that he was much older than Katya—a difference he himself tried not to dwell on too much—returned to his mind. And though both had decided not to focus on such details, he could not prevent doubts and fears from seeping into his thoughts.

Before Severus could become completely lost in his own insecurities, he felt Katya’s soft touch on his arm. He startled slightly, realising Dolgorúkov had already left and now it was just the two of them in the room, the echo of his thoughts lingering in the air.

“Sev,” Katya said, her voice sweet, “are you all right?”

He nodded quickly, trying to mask his discomfort, and before she could press further, he retrieved a small blue box from his coat, holding it with a certain shyness.

“I’ve got a gift for you as well,” he murmured, as though the words were difficult to say. “It’s not much, but it’s… handmade. Would you prefer to have it now or tonight?”

Katya looked at him, her heart racing at the unexpected gesture. She knew how little Severus liked showing vulnerability, and the fact that he was giving her something crafted with his own hands made the gift even more special.

“Oh, Sev,” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his neck affectionately. “Now, please!”

Severus, with quiet pride, handed her the box. He had spent days deciding what to give her, and the choice had not been easy. Katya, unlike him, came from a wealthy family, with access to luxuries he could neither match nor wished to. He had seen the opulence of her apartment, her designer clothes, and fine jewellery, and knew that any material gift would pale in comparison to what she already possessed.

So, he had opted for something different—something personal. Inside the box rested a small steel pendant shaped like the North Star, a piece he had hand-carved himself. He had learned the craft from his father during the rare moments when Tobias Snape had been a decent man, before alcohol consumed him. Severus had only ever created three pendants in his life, and now Katya had one of them.

Katya opened the box gently, and upon seeing the pendant, her face lit up immediately.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, deeply moved as she traced the surface of the North Star with her fingers. “Would you put it on me?”

Severus nodded, his heart beating faster than he anticipated. He took the pendant and carefully placed it around Katya’s neck. His fingers brushed against her skin, and they shared a look laden with emotion.

For a moment, the world seemed to stop, and in that small action, Severus felt he was sharing something far greater than a simple gift.

Katya let all her belongings drop to the floor with a soft thud and turned towards Severus, offering him the necklace with an expectant smile. Severus sighed lightly, managing a small smile as she brushed her long hair aside, revealing her delicate neck. With skilled yet gentle fingers, he fastened the necklace around her, and in an impulse he could not control, let his thumb graze the nape of her neck for just a second. The softness of her skin surprised him, and Katya's reaction was immediate.

"Gods..." she whispered, almost trembling at the contact.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Severus quickly apologised, withdrawing his hand awkwardly, as though he had allowed himself to feel too much.

Katya let out a soft laugh, clearly amused by his reaction, as she let her hair fall once again over her shoulders. Severus collapsed heavily into a nearby table, releasing an exasperated huff at himself. What is wrong with me? he thought. Though his attempt at control was obvious, he couldn't stop himself from watching how the waves of Katya's hair cascaded down her back, brushing against the small of her waist. Her black velvet skirt, perfectly fitted to her figure, made every one of her movements a temptation Severus tried—and utterly failed—to ignore. He averted his gaze quickly, desperate to regain the composure that seemed to slip through his fingers.

For her part, Katya felt as though she might combust at any moment. Every time Severus touched her, even in the most innocent of gestures, a surge of desire rushed through her body. She wanted more—more than what they had shared that morning in the hotel room. Her skin still burned with the memory of his body against hers, and the wait was unbearable.

"Let’s go back to the hotel, please," Katya implored, turning to him with urgency and taking his face between her hands. The need in her voice was palpable.

Severus looked at her with a hint of surprise. Though he had longed for the same since they’d left the hotel room, his rational mind was desperately trying to hold him back.

"Kat…" he began, attempting to sound reasonable. "Don’t you want to have dinner first?"

"Oh, Sev, please," Katya replied, her voice laden with desire and a touch of desperation.

Severus had never heard anyone sound so needy and seductive at the same time. To tell the truth, no one had ever called him Sev like that before, and the way she said it stirred something inside him—a warmth that was unfamiliar but irresistible. Unable to stop himself, he pulled her towards him with far more urgency than he intended, and their lips met once more in a kiss that overflowed with passion, neither caring that they were in a public place. For those few moments, they seemed to forget all propriety, kissing as though they were the only two people in the world.

"Go to the hotel, and I’ll meet you there," Severus instructed reluctantly as he pulled away, knowing that if he didn’t, he would lose all self-control. "I need to fetch another set of clothes. I’d rather not give certain members of the assembly something to gossip about, you know?"

Katya laughed at his remark, and after a quick farewell kiss, they briefly parted ways. As she headed towards the hotel, Severus made his way to his own room, planning to gather his things. Perhaps he would take everything he needed and move to Katya’s room for the remainder of their stay. He didn’t want to be apart from her—not now that they had finally crossed the barrier that had kept them in tension for so long.

But as he walked, imagining all the ways he would make love to Katya upon his return, a strange sensation creped him. It was as if someone were watching him, following his every step. His instincts, ever alert, kicked in immediately, and he quickened his pace towards his hotel, which was only a few metres away.

When he finally reached his room, he switched on the light quickly and closed the door behind him. But as he turned towards the bed, his heart skipped a beat. Sitting there with a serene expression and a faint smile was Albus Dumbledore.

“By Merlin!” Severus exclaimed, clutching at his chest, his heart pounding in surprise. “Do you intend to scare me to death, old man?”

Dumbledore looked at him with twinkling eyes, as though he found Severus’ reaction amusing.

“Oh, dear Severus,” the headmaster greeted him in his usual affectionate tone. “I’m sorry to interrupt your holiday like this. I have seen… how busy you are with these assemblies.” 

Dumbledore regarded him with his customary kind expression, but there was something more in his eyes. A seriousness that left no doubt something important was about to occur. “I must say I understand your great enthusiasm for continuing to perfect yourself in the art of Potions.”

Severus scoffed, evidently irritated by Dumbledore’s unexpected presence in his private space. He had always had a complicated relationship with the headmaster, a mix of respect and resentment. Finding him there, at such an intimate moment in his life, made him feel invaded.

“Perfect. Now you’re stalking me as well,” he muttered sarcastically, crossing his arms and looking at Dumbledore distrustfully.

Dumbledore observed him calmly, as though completely unaffected by Severus’ sharp tone. However, Severus knew that if Dumbledore was there, it was not by chance or for trivial matters. Something was happening, and by the seriousness in the headmaster’s eyes, the wizard could intuit that the situation was grave.

“Severus,” Dumbledore said now, his voice firmer. “As much as your sense of humour amuses me, I’m afraid we have an urgent matter to deal with.”

The wizard sighed, resigned, and pulled a cigarette from his coat. He lit it with a flick of his wand and took a long drag, the smoke filling his lungs as though he sought to calm the storm beginning to stir inside him.

“Do you mind?” Severus asked, clearly stressed, as he exhaled the smoke with a weight in his voice.

“Not in the slightest, dear boy,” Dumbledore replied with that unnerving calm that characterised him, stepping a couple of paces closer to him. His normally kind blue eyes fixed on Severus with a seriousness that left little room for doubt. “Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban.”

The words hit him like a bombshell. Severus choked on the cigarette smoke, coughing violently as his stomach twisted. The name Sirius Black had always been a source of hatred and resentment for him, and now, after so many years, the past was returning to torment him.

“And I fear that Harry’s life is in grave danger,” Dumbledore continued, his tone calm but carrying a weight Severus could not ignore.

At the mention of Harry’s name, Severus felt the usual tightness in his chest, that suffocating sensation that always overwhelmed him whenever Lily’s son was mentioned in the midst of some peril. Why is it always him? Severus thought, trying to process what Dumbledore had just told him.

“I know you’re busy here, Severus,” the headmaster added with an understanding tone, though his eyes showed no intention of relenting. “And I truly regret having to ask you this, but I need you to watch over the boy.”

Severus brought a hand to his temples, massaging them slowly as the weight of the situation began to settle on his shoulders. The promise he had made to Dumbledore—and above all, to Lily—felt like a chain around his neck, tightening ever more.

“I need a day,” he said at last, trying to sound firm but knowing he had no control over the situation. “Tomorrow, I will return to London…”

“No,” Dumbledore interrupted him with unusual firmness, his tone now more authoritative. “Sirius Black has been seen in London.” He paused, letting out a faint sigh of concern. “I need someone I can trust, Severus. We are talking about a man who murdered fifteen people in a single day. He is a direct threat to young Harry.”

Dumbledore’s words fell on Severus like a hammer, crushing any trace of resistance he might have had. Sirius had always been a painful reminder of his own youth, of the constant humiliation he had endured, and now, more than ten years later, that same name continued to torture him.

But he knew he had no choice. The promise he had made, the silent vow that kept him bound, left no room for doubt. He was trapped in a web from which he could not escape, no matter how much he wished otherwise.

Defeated, he pulled his wand from his coat and waved it through the air, causing his belongings, scattered around the room, to begin packing themselves into his bag with precision. Each object, each garment, arranged itself meticulously, and Severus watched the process in silence, feeling the desperation overwhelm him.

“I truly regret this,” Dumbledore said, stepping closer and placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “But if she truly knows you, she will understand.”

Severus nodded slowly, but Dumbledore’s words brought him no comfort at all. His mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. Katya was waiting for him. Not just to continue what they had started that morning, but to celebrate her birthday. He knew he would disappoint her, just as he had feared from the start. Once again, Severus thought bitterly, my past robs me of any chance of happiness.

Without another word, Severus took one final drag of his cigarette, dropped it, and stamped it out with the toe of his boot. He looked at Dumbledore with a mixture of frustration and resignation before taking his hand, and in an instant, they both vanished from the room.

Katya, meanwhile, looked impatiently at the clock in the hotel room. The hands ticked forward slowly, and two hours had already passed since they had parted. Perhaps he got lost in the city, she thought to herself, trying to calm her growing unease. After all, they hadn’t had much time to explore the surroundings. But as the hours continued to pass, her nervousness grew.

When it became clear that three hours had gone by, she decided to take matters into her own hands. She remembered Severus’ room number since he had mentioned it in passing. Using a Confundus Charm at the hotel reception, she slipped through the corridors until she reached his door.

She knocked softly at first, fearful of seeming intrusive. What if he thinks I’m being bothersome? But when there was no response, her anxiety took another turn. What if something happened to him? And in the darkest corners of her mind, another doubt surfaced. What if he’s with someone else?

She knocked again, more insistently this time, but the silence persisted. Worried and out of patience, she drew her wand and opened the door magically.

The room was empty. Not only that, but it looked as though it had never truly been occupied. There were no belongings scattered about, no sign that anyone had stayed there. The only trace of life was the unmade bed and the faint smell of cigarette smoke that still lingered in the air. Severus was gone, and he had left no trace.

Katya returned to her own hotel with a heavy heart and a mind full of unanswered questions. The hours passed, and though she continued to hope for some sign from Severus, no message came, no news arrived. As the afternoon faded into night, her initial excitement slowly turned to disappointment.

By dinnertime, with nothing else to do, she decided to order room service and stay alone, with the bitter feeling of having been abandoned. The night she had anticipated with so much joy slowly slipped away, while her mind couldn’t stop wondering what she had done wrong.