Chapter 1
Lucius felt as if he was about to crawl out of his skin. He’d been locked in him room for days, and nothing could calm him. He couldn’t stomach any of the food Tilly brought to him, or sleep in the bed that felt so empty. He paced, drank, cursed his own name and foolish mistakes, paced again, and drank even more.
He’d lost track of the days, until he cracked the door, squinting against the darkness that pressed oppressively from all sides.
Feet bare, hair unkempt, and face unshaven, he ventured down the halls of his home, feeling like a ghost haunting the manor.
He considered looking for Severus, but they’d had nothing to say when it had become apparent that they both blamed themselves more than they blamed each other, or her. So he haunted, trailing fingers down polished banisters and spotless frames, stumbling across the edges of rugs and tables that had existed in the space long before he’d been an idea.
She had made this place bearable, and without her, he didn’t see the point. Not that he could do anything about it; it was now in Draco’s name, and had been for years.
A sound filtered through the darkness, and he squinted against the dim light of the low fire.
Severus stood with his arms around Hermione, his large nose pressed into her curls. He held to her like a lifeline, and Lucius, even inebriated as he was, understood. Slinking away, he found his way to the back garden, where a sliver of a summer moon barely frosted the rose petals. He made his way to his favorite seat, and sank into it, wishing for the touch of sun on his skin to drive away the darkness in his soul.
Lucius had already raged, he’d bartered with a handful of gods he held no faith in, he’d sobbed. He’d denied that she’d leave, but all that was left was bitter acceptance.
He’d have to learn to accept a world without her. He’d see her touches around the manor, feel her phantom presence, but never again would he smell her sweet perfume on her skin or kiss her delicate hand or her soft lips.
Everything in him screamed to return to Severus and Hermione, but his body felt frozen, his limbs heavy. He wished he could be anywhere other than here, but his very soul ached. What came now?
She was really gone.