Remus was exhausted. The full moon last weekend had been even more brutal than usual, as the one before Halloween tended to be, and teaching all week hadn’t allowed him to get anything like the rest he desperately needed. He turned the chair in his office to face the window and sat down. He could see the light from Hagrid’s hut and the twinkles of Hogsmeade in the distance.
His eyelids started to flutter shut involuntarily and he knew that he should head to his quarters and go to bed, but that felt like such a long way away and his hips ached terribly, so he stayed where he was. An owl soared in through the open window, startling him out of his almost slumber. He didn’t recognise the bird but reached into his desk drawer for a small treat before untying the letter attached to the owl’s leg.
He already knew who it was from. The same person who had written to him once a week for the last two months. He should have burnt every letter, but he knew this one would be added to the bundle in the top drawer of his desk hidden under a thick layer of chocolate wrappers. Every time, he came so close to writing back, torn between wanting to be left alone and so tired of being alone.
He opened the letter as the owl made itself comfortable on the window sill.
‘Moony,
I know you’re getting these letters.
I’ll see you on Halloween.
Padfoot’
Remus read it over and over. Halloween was two days away. What on earth did Sirius mean that he’d see him on Halloween? He picked up a quill to ask that very question but then stopped himself. That’s exactly what Sirius would want. He knew that he should have told Dumbledore about the letters, but that would cast suspicion on himself and he was very much enjoying flying under the radar. Honestly, the last two months were the happiest Remus had been in over a decade. Reconnecting with Harry, spending time in the castle that raised him, and not having to worry about where his next meal was coming from had all improved his outlook on life drastically.
He pulled the bundle of letters out and laid them in order on his desk. He had no idea how much of the contents were legitimate and how much was the ravings of a man driven mad by Azkaban.
When he’d received the first one, on his first night back at Hogwarts, it took everything in him not to go out there and find Sirius himself, let alone reply. He’d known for a few weeks that Sirius had escaped. Of course, he had. Remus was only surprised that it had taken him this long. The letters mentioned something about a rat being Wormtail, and the Weasleys, which couldn’t possibly be true. That had given him pause to rush out and run to him. If Sirius was capable of believing that Peter had somehow returned from the dead, it was hardly safe to be alone with him with nobody knowing his whereabouts.
He looked at the first letter, by far the longest, and sighed. If Sirius was telling the truth, it would change everything he’d thought he’d known about Halloween twelve years ago. It would mean that the man he’d loved so fiercely had spent twelve years in Azkaban unnecessarily, and nobody had fought for him. Not really. Remus didn’t consider his persistence that Sirius should have a trial for the last two months of 1981 fighting for him. It had all fallen on uncaring ears, who had got the right man as far as they were concerned. Dumbledore had sat him down and told him that Sirius had confessed to being behind James and Lily’s deaths. That when he was caught by the Aurors all he did was laugh.
All these years later, the idea of Sirius betraying any of them seemed wrong, but the thought of Sirius betraying James especially was so hard to accept. Once, the two of them had gotten carried away on James’ bed while they were alone in the dorm and supposed to be packing to go home for the summer, and Sirius had lasted all of twenty minutes before he’d broken and told James and offered to clean the sheets himself. The thought that less than five years later he could have— Remus had to stop himself. This was exactly what Sirius wanted, to make him second guess everything he knew to be true.
He fully intended to tell Dumbledore about the letters the next day, consequences be damned, but then by some fortuitous coincidence, as he was walking back to his room well after curfew he stumbled upon Severus sneering at Harry in a dark corridor and upon further inspection, Snape was holding a very familiar looking piece of parchment. His eyes met Severus’ and he already knew that Severus knew that Remus was connected to this somehow.
“Remus, what impeccable timing you have.” He said. “I caught Potter out after curfew, and when I asked him to empty his pockets, I found this parchment that seems intent on insulting anyone who tries to discover its secrets. Perhaps you should take a look at it.”
Remus nodded, careful to keep his expression very neutral. “You want me to look into a piece of parchment, Severus?”
“I suspect that Potter got this directly from the manufacturers. Who knows what dark magic could be contained within? Probably best you take a look.” Remus accepted the parchment and bit the inside of his lip to stop himself from smiling as he saw the writing in front of him.
In Sirius’ loopy handwriting, which he’d seen so much of recently, were four sentences.
Mr Moony thinks that Professor Snape should fuck off back to the abhorrent hole that he crawled out of and stay there.
Mr Wormtail would like to thank Professor Snape for being a glowing example of everything wrong with the world.
Mr Padfoot would like to compliment Professor Snape on finally trying to get a handle on his personal hygiene after thirty-three years, but would also like to recommend a product called shampoo.
Mr Prongs would like to remind Professor Snape that he won.
Remus almost choked at the last one. He’d forgotten just how complex the magic they’d used for the map was. He also knew that based on those names, Snape knew that this was their map. Well, his map now, he supposed.
“Seems like a silly prank to me, Severus.” He said lightly. “Does the parchment insult everyone who tries to open it, Harry?”
Harry narrowed his eyes slightly, “Yes, professor.”
“There we are, Severus. Probably just a prototype Zonkos product fallen into the wrong hands. I’ll keep a hold of this for now.” Snape opened his mouth to argue, “Harry, you and I should have a little talk about magical items of unknown origin. Follow me please.” He looked over his shoulder at Snape who was fuming. “You did the right thing in bringing this to my attention, Severus. Thank you.”
When they returned to Remus’ office, Harry was clearly nervous as he sat down opposite Remus’ desk.
“Where did you get this map, Harry?” Remus asked calmly. Harry looked unsure how to answer. “You’re not in trouble, I promise.”
Harry nodded, “Fred and George Weasley took it from Filch’s office. But I don’t want them to get in trouble either.”
Remus smiled softly, “This stays between us, don’t worry.”
“It doesn’t just insult people. It’s a map.” Remus stared at him. He’d been able to open it? “If you tap it with your wand and say ‘I solemnly swear that I am up to no good’ it opens out into a map of the school, along with everyone inside it. I think it’s broken though.”
“Broken?” Remus almost scoffed. How could their map be broken? Did Harry not understand what an incredible piece of magic he was holding?
“I saw someone on there who I know is dead. When Ron and I are in our dorm, he’s always there too. It’s weird.” Harry said, “You probably knew him too if you knew my parents. Peter Pettigrew?”
Remus felt the colour drain from his face. “I did know him, yes. I’m going to need to hang onto this map, Harry, and in future, if you come across a magical item whose origin you’re unsure of, please bring it to me so I can check it over, alright? Even if it just looks like a joke piece of parchment or a broken map.”
“That’s all? I’m not getting detention. Not even for being out after curfew?” Harry looked baffled.
“Ah, yes. I suppose you are, aren’t you? Alright, Monday evening, you can spend an hour sorting the bookcase in my classroom. Sound fair?” Remus smiled as Harry nodded, still looking thoroughly confused. “Alright then. I trust you can find your way back to your dormitory without your peculiar map.”
Harry nodded as he stood up, “Thank you, professor.”
Remus looked down at the parchment once Harry was gone and hesitantly touched his wand to the centre. He laughed as words appeared on the page.
Mr Moony would like to know when he got so fucking old!
Mr Wormtail knew that you’d end up being a teacher one day you massive swot!
Mr Padfoot definitely has a thing for older men now. Yes please, Professor!
Mr Prongs hopes you’re keeping his son in line.
A tear slid down Remus’ cheek, he wondered what Harry had seen when he first tapped the map. What ridiculous remarks had James made to his teenage son? He shook the thought away as he opened the map out fully. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”
The map sprung to life and Remus had a lump in his throat. He remembered the day they first got the charms to work so everyone showed up on the map, the awe in all of their faces that it had actually worked. He looked for the Gryffindor dorms and then he saw it. Right next to Ron’s name, Peter Pettigrew. He knew that Ron had a rat, but he’d never seen it. He felt sick. Peter had been under his nose for weeks. Peter was alive, which meant…
He pulled out a quill and a piece of parchment.
Padfoot,
I believe you. I have proof that he’s alive. Meet me in the forest tomorrow after dusk and we’ll figure out what to do.
I’m so sorry.
Moony
He pulled the bundle of letters from his drawer, closed the map and headed for his room, hoping that he wouldn’t be waylaid this time. He knew that he should have taken a dreamless sleep after all of the excitement of the evening, but he just fell into bed and was asleep before he could do anything about it. He dreamed of Sirius, which wasn’t unusual. But this Sirius was older, in a ridiculous velvet jacket, lounging on a sofa between Remus’ thighs, smiling up at him. Reaching for him, asking him if he wanted to try again.
When Remus woke up, he could still feel Sirius' fingers ghosting across his face and all he could do was stare at the ceiling and try to breathe. So much for a restful night’s sleep. If he could just get his hands on Ron’s rat, he could force him to change back, if it was Peter. He hadn’t thought much about Peter in a long time. In the run-up to Halloween 1981, he’d pulled away from them, which, if Sirius was telling the truth, made a lot of sense. For Peter to have been working for Voldemort, for him to have betrayed them all and framed Sirius for the whole thing. A fresh wave of nausea washed over him.
He had no idea how he got through the rest of the day, but as soon as the sun started setting he strolled out of the castle towards the forbidden forest. As a teacher, he was perfectly entitled to be there, but it still felt forbidden. Like he was doing something wrong. Perhaps he was.
He reached the clearing where they’d always stored a spare set of clothes for Remus during the moon, in case they didn’t manage to get him back to the shack before moon down. He stood with his back against a large tree, and he didn’t have to wait long. A large black dog slunk out of the shadows into the clearing, sniffed the air and turned towards Remus, it then bounded across the rest of the clearing like a puppy and bounced around his legs.
Remus was speechless. He opened his mouth to say, well, anything, but all that came out was a sob. He felt his knees buckle and he slid down the tree and sat at its base. Padfoot rested his head on Remus’ knee, looking up at him, leaning into the touch as Remus ran his hands through Padfoot’s fur. “It’s you.” He managed eventually, and then he felt Padfoot shift back to Sirius beneath his hands.
He looked awful. His hair hung in tangles that reached his waist, his face was gaunt and he was filthy. Remus threw his arms around him anyway and after a few seconds, Sirius did the same. He could feel each of Sirius’ vertebrae as if his face hadn’t given away how thin he’d become.
He wasn’t sure how long they sat there, but when Remus pulled away slightly to look at him, Sirius found himself smiling. It hurt his face, it had been so long since a genuine smile had appeared there. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Remus asked hoarsely.
“For believing me,” Sirius said.
“I’m sorry it took me so long.” Remus sniffed. “I should have known then.”
“He fooled us all.” Sirius nodded, “But now we get to right that wrong.”
“We’re going to kill him, right?” Remus asked.
Sirius blinked at him, “No. We’re going to turn him in, and watch as he gets the kiss.”
Remus was slightly concerned about the way that Sirius’ words affected him. If he didn’t know how long it had been since Sirius had so much as seen a toothbrush, he might have just kissed him there in the forest. “We need a plan, then.”
When the moon, thin as it was, rose, Professor Lupin and a large black dog snuck back into the castle. They’d agreed to act tomorrow. It was fitting, after all, for it to be Halloween. They’d tackled Sirius’ hair together, Sirius had fixed his teeth with Remus’ wand and after a very long shower, his skin was no longer a murky shade of grey. He’d then asked for a bath, and Remus couldn’t deny him the amazing tub in his bathroom. As Sirius sank into it he moaned, causing Remus, in his bedroom to blush furiously
“If I’d have known the teachers got baths like this when we were here, I’d have considered becoming one,” Sirius said through the open door.
Remus took that as an invitation to talk. He leant against the door frame, “Did you think the teachers slept in their classrooms? Or in dorms like the students?”
“I never really thought about it. I think I always thought Dumbledore slept in his office.”
“You might not be wrong about that. I have no idea where he sleeps.” Remus mused, “I could see him having a bed in some strange corner of that office.”
“Why do you sound wistful about that?” Sirius asked.
“I’ve fallen asleep in my office chair three times this week,” Remus admitted.
“Moony!” Sirius admonished, then froze. It was the first time the nickname had slipped from his lips, and Remus’ face was a mixture of adoration and heartbreak. “Sorry.” He mumbled, “It’s just— You should take better care of yourself.”
Remus swallowed audibly, “I should. You’re right.” He swayed slightly and debated sitting on the closed toilet, until Sirius patted the side of the bath, and Remus didn’t need telling twice. He’d often sat next to the bath when Sirius needed a soak, with his back against the tub, and usually one of Sirius’ hands in his hair. To be doing so again felt incredible. He almost forgot the colossal risk he was taking by having Sirius anywhere near him. “I’ve missed it. Being Moony.” He said quietly.
“Did it not catch on with your students?” Sirius teased. “I didn’t know if it would be too much. I tried not to say it.”
“No.” He whispered as Sirius’ wet hand slid up the side of his neck, “Not too much.” Remus closed his eyes and leaned into Sirius’ touch. “I’m sorry for not replying to your letters.”
“I figured that you just hated me. Which would be fair enough if I’d done it, I suppose.”
“It didn’t seem possible. Then I was scared to believe you.” Remus said. “It took me so long to get used to life without you in it. What if you came back, and then I had to do it all over again? Fuck that sounds selfish now I hear it out loud.”
“Nah.” Sirius said, “Sounds like self-preservation. I’m glad you still have some, and you’d never do stupid things like rushing off to meet convicted murderers in dark forests at night.”
“Shut up, Padfoot,” Remus said with a smile. “I promise not to make a habit of it, ok?”
Remus’ eyes had darted down and were taking in Sirius’ tattoos, smiling as he saw the familiar moon cycle tattoo over Sirius’ heart. He opened his mouth but before he could say anything, there was a knock at his door. They both froze. Remus stood up slowly, looking from the door, back to Sirius who pressed a finger to his lips to indicate that he’d be quiet.
Remus shut the bathroom door behind him and opened the door to his quarters. There stood a furious-looking Minerva McGonagall. Before he could say anything, she walked into the room and shut the door.
“Where is he?”
Remus frowned, “Where’s who?”
“Don’t play silly buggers. Severus saw you with a dog, Remus.” She stared at him, “A black dog, not unlike the illegal animagus form of a certain escaped murderer.”
Remus stared at her, his face calm, “Minerva…”
“Don’t 'Minerva’ me. Do you think I didn’t notice that three of my students became illegal animagi? You really think I wouldn’t notice?” She shook her head, “I let it slide because I knew it was for you. To help you. That’s how he escaped Azkaban, isn’t it? Oh, I should have-” Remus said nothing. “Severus was just trying to get you into trouble for having a dog, I think. Remus, what are you playing at, sneaking him in here after what he did? How could you be so reckless? How can you—”
“I don’t believe he did it,” Remus said firmly. “I think it was Peter.”
“Mr Pettigrew died twelve years ago, Remus. Killed by the man you’re hiding here, along with James and Lily in case you’d forgotten!” She shook her head, “Did he threaten you? Are you in danger?”
“Minerva!” He snapped, “Please sit down. I need to fill you in on some… recent developments.”
Remus told her about Sirius’ letters, the map, Peter showing up on the map and Sirius’ side of the story. Her face grew paler by the minute.
“Remus, if this is true, this is... awful.” Remus suspected that she believed him, which he was surprised at, but very grateful for. “You say it’s Weasley’s rat?”
He opened the map and muttered the words, watching McGonagall’s face light up as the ink spread across the parchment.
“There,” Remus pointed to the third-year Gryffindor boys' dorm, which currently had one occupant too many. “Peter Pettigrew.”
Professor McGonagall sat down on the small sofa again. Her face a picture of distress. “Remus. We have to go and get the rat away from them.”
“We’ll terrify the students if we do that.” Remus said evenly, “Once they’ve gone down to breakfast, then we go. According to Harry all the rat does is lie on Ron’s pillow all day.” Professor McGonagall pulled a disgusted face. “I couldn’t agree more.”
“Remus. You truly believe that he’s innocent?”
“I do.” He nodded, “I should have fought harder for him. I almost did. I almost went to the Prophet, but Albus dissuaded me. He told me they’d label me as an unstable werewolf and I’d be cast out from Wizarding society.”
“He said what?” The bathroom door flew open, and there, in Remus’ fluffy red bathrobe, stood an absolutely livid Sirius. “Hello Minnie, it’s been a while, hasn't it.” He smiled briefly at her before turning back to Remus. “He threatened you so you’d leave it alone?”
“Sirius…” Remus began, but Professor McGonagall was on her feet and pulling Sirius into a hug. He made eye contact with Remus over her shoulder, who smiled at him and wished that he’d pulled Sirius into a hug like that at some point this evening. The awkward embrace in the forest hadn’t been enough.
“I’m sorry,” Minerva said, pulling away and holding his shoulders in her hands to her a good look at him. “I’m so sorry.”
Sirius nodded, “Let’s just get Peter in the morning, ok. Who can we trust at the ministry?”
She thought for a moment. “My niece works with Alastor Moody.” She said. “I think he would be trustworthy. Or there’s Kingsley if not, but I think Alastor would be our best bet.”
“Alright.” Sirius nodded. “You look lovely as ever, Professor.”
“I’m glad to see your personality remains fairly intact.” She said. “Remus, meet me in the Gryffindor Common Room at 8:15 sharp, the password is Fortuna Major.”
“I think it’s best if you go into the dorm alone. If he sees me or Sirius, he’ll panic.” Remus said. “I’ll stand guard while you stun the little bastard.”
“Sounds like a plan to me, boys.” She took one more look at Sirius. “It’s wonderful to see you, dear.”
Sirius expression was pure softness as he returned the sentiment. Once she’d left, he turned to Remus. “We’re actually going to get him, aren’t we?”
“Of course we are,” Remus said. “It’s all going to be alright.”
“I have a question.” Sirius shifted from one foot to the other anxiously.
“You want to sleep in my bed, don’t you?” Remus said with a shy smile. Sirius nodded, “Are you still a blanket hog?”
“Wouldn’t know, haven’t had a blanket to hog or anyone to hog it from in a long time,” Sirius said bluntly. He gasped slightly as Remus rushed forward to wrap his arms around him. After a moment he relaxed into the embrace and rested a hand on Remus’ lower back while the other twirled one of his curls gently. “You’re thirty-three and you still smell like fucking chocolate.”
"You're thirty-three and you're still such a fucking drama queen. 'I know you're getting these letters. I'll see you on Halloween.'. Fucking hell, Pads." Remus pressed his lips against Sirius' neck softly.
"Well, you were ignoring me, and you know how much I've always hated that."
“I missed you so much,” Remus murmured against his neck.
“I missed you too, Moons.” Sirius said, “Missed you so fucking much, love.”
When they kissed, it felt like no time had passed at all, like they were still twenty-one, certain that they'd be doing this for the rest of their lives, and maybe now they would. Remus definitely didn't get the restful night that he needed, but there'd be time for that in the coming days.
When he awoke the next day, he thought he must be dreaming. Sirius' hair, longer than ever, splayed out across the pillow next to him, and his arm clung to Remus' waist. As Remus stirred, Sirius' eyes snapped open. He glanced around anxiously as if trying to recall where he was. Remus smoothed back his hair and kissed him reverently.
"You're safe." He whispered, chuckling as Sirius wrapped his limbs around him fully and clung to him like a koala. "Today's the day."
Sirius looked up at him, "We're really doing this?" Remus nodded. "Together?"
"I think so."