Chapter 2
Aurora wakes up to the sound of gentle breathing to her side, and is disorientated for a few moments before remembering how she came to be in this position. It has been over a year now since she and Severus have been in such close proximity with each other. Though they've shared a bed many times, this is only the second time that they have ever slept side by side. The other time had also been the night everything had changed, and Aurora brushes those thoughts away for now, taking this opportunity to observe his features unobstructed.
There is no doubt that he has changed in the past year. He looks older, weaker. He had never been a large man, but the lean strength and muscle definition he did have seems to have dissipated, and she can see the beginnings of grey hair emerging. From this close, she can see the tiny frown creasing his eyebrows, and she is suddenly overcome with an urge to bring her lips to his temple. This is a bad line of thought, she thinks, and decides she had better put some distance between them before she gets carried away.
Still, she feels like an addict who has been denied her fix for too long, and watching his soft breathing calms her down. It takes nearly twenty minutes of staring at him before she suddenly comes to her senses. What the hell is she doing. As quietly as she can, she lifts herself out of bed, and pours herself a glass of water from the table to the side of the bed. Outside the window, she can see that the sun is just coming up, and she wonders absently how long she was asleep, before making her way to the door.
"Running away again?" She turns back to see Severus pushing himself up slightly in bed, staring at her.
"I'm not running away," she responds, defensively, though she realises that she was slightly running away. "I was just heading back to work. And you were asleep."
"When did you wake up?" he asks her, sitting up, and she feels her neck getting warm again.
"Only a few minutes ago," she says, a little too quickly, and he looks at her curiously, before shaking his head slightly. "I should go." She continues towards the door, not noticing his face fall slightly, but as she glances outside, she sees Minerva stood just to the right, in conversation with one of the young Medi-witches. Well, damn. She weighs up her options. There is some extremely awkward tension between her and Severus, and on the one hand, she wants to escape as quickly as she can. On the other hand, Minerva is one of the last people she wants to be caught by, leaving Severus' room at dawn. Her internal conflict must be visible in her expression because she hears a small snort from Severus, who has now picked up the newspaper on his bedside table.
"Stay," he tells her, before going opening the paper. "Whoever it is, they'll leave soon."
Aurora takes another look outside before deciding to take him up on the offer. She looks back towards Severus and winces. In this light, the wound on the side of his neck looks red and inflamed.
"How is your neck?" she asks him, and he looks up at her briefly before looking back down at the newspaper.
"We don't have to talk," he tells her. He doesn't sound angry, almost worse - he sounds resigned, and she sighs and looks down. She wants to apologise to him for not coming to see him, but she doesn't have an explanation to give him. How can she tell him that she feels stupid that she hadn't noticed that throughout their acquaintance he had feelings for another woman? He had been clear about his intentions towards Aurora from the start, clear that he had wanted nothing more than sex. It is all she had wanted too, at first. It isn't his fault that she had ended up thinking, hoping there was something more between them. It certainly isn't his fault that she has spent the last week feeling spiteful towards a dead woman, and at the same time hating herself for it. She can't tell him any of this, but she can do what she does best - her job.
She walks towards him slowly and although he doesn't look up, she sees him stiffen almost imperceptibly.
"The wound is opening up, I think we'd be best off bandaging it up again for a day or two. Let me redress it." She draws her wand out and points it towards his neck, but Severus brushes it away.
"You aren't my Healer," he mutters.
"I am now," she tells him firmly, clasping his chin with one hand to keep his head in place. "Now hold still."
She can feel his lips twitching slightly underneath her fingers, but she ignores it and focuses on the job at hand. She slowly draws her wand over the wound, cleaning the injury and covering it with gauze.
"When did you last take painkilling potions?" she asks him as she works.
"Not since I've been conscious," he says to her, and she almost stops what she is doing in surprise. He's looking at her, daring her to question him, and after her own carelessness during the previous week, she holds her tongue.
"Well, I'll administer a dose now, then," she says instead, pulling out an empty vial and some small potion bottles from the medical bag. She mixes his dose and offers him the vial. She's expecting an argument, but to her surprise, Severus silently takes the proffered bottle and drinks the mixture in one gulp, wincing slightly as he swallows. She quickly runs her wand over the bottle to sterilise it before returning it to the bag.
Having something to do had removed some of the awkwardness in the room temporarily, but she now feels it hitting her again with full force. Aurora feels her brain frantically searching for the right thing to say but is saved from too much effort by a 4 knocks on the door, two in quick succession, followed by a short pause, followed by two more in quick succession.
"Come in," Severus calls out in a low rumbling voice, and Theseus walks in, carrying his notepad and quill.
"Good morning, Severus. Aurora, hope you're feeling refreshed and won't be pulling any more stunts like that," Theseus says cheerfully, walking towards them.
"Sorry, Theseus," Aurora replies, embarrassed, but he waves her off, moving towards Severus.
"Ah, I see your dressings have already been changed," he says, spotting the new bandages on his neck.
"I've also administered a half dose of painkillers," Aurora says.
"I've been trying to persuade him to take them for the last few days. You'll have to teach me your methods," Theseus grins, before turning to Severus. "And have you done the exercises and meditation we discussed?"
"I did them last night, but not yet this morning," Severus responds, looking at Aurora, a hint of embarrassment in his voice, and Theseus scribbles something down on his notepad, nodding. Aurora clears her throat. He probably doesn't need her to be here for this.
"I have to see some patients," she says. "I'll see you soon." She's not sure who the last part is addressed to. She hurries out of the room and back into her office. It was strange to see Severus looking this vulnerable, she thinks. And although he hadn't said as much, he had certainly seemed upset that she hadn't visited him. But thinking about her own reasons for not visiting him makes her feel sick. In fact, thinking about him at all makes her feel… what is that exactly? If she were more sensible she might have tried to deal with her own emotions, but instead she decides that she will continue to avoid him for the time being. She sees him only a handful of times over the next couple of weeks, a glance across the corridor, or a smile at lunch, but nothing more. It isn't until almost a month later that they are forced into each other's company again.
The mood in the school has been gradually worsening. The initial post-battle adrenaline has worn off. The only patients still around are those with serious injuries, those who will likely be suffering for the remainder of their lives. The weather hasn't been particularly helpful. It's the middle of the summer now, but this particular week, they are reminded that they are in Scotland. The rain has been persistent, and the temperatures reminiscent of early spring, and it has meant that everyone has been forced to remain inside.
On one particular night, Aurora is awoken by shouts coming from one of the wards. She readies her wand and goes outside of her chambers and sees at least five or so other Healers doing the same thing around her. As they arrive at the wards, they are surprised to see the Healer Alice Kedell, the junior Healer who is on the night shift, stood with her wand out, pointed towards a man on the ground, who appears to be unconscious. Aurora strains to see who it is but he is lying face down.
"What's going on?" one of the Healers next to her asks.
"He was attacking a patient," Alice responds, clearly shaken, and gesturing towards the ward nearby.
It is only then that Aurora realises that they are stood outside Severus's ward. Shit. Theseus steps forward. "It's my patient. I'll take lead. Alice, come with me. The rest of you, better get back to bed."
As the other Healers start walking back, Theseus summons a stretcher for the unconscious man, and straps him onto it. Aurora hesitates, and Theseus meets her eye, giving her a slight nod to indicate that she should join them too.
They head into the ward to see Severus sat on the side of his bed, hands clutching tightly to the bedframe. Aurora wants to walk towards him, but she is frozen in place. He looks furious. Theseus places the stretcher on the floor and goes to Severus, and Aurora decides to focus on Alice instead, who is breathing shakily.
"Alice, sit down a moment," Aurora says, leading her to an armchair, as Theseus asks Severus if he's alright, and does a general check-up. Aurora conjures a glass and fills it with water for Alice. "Here. Can you tell us what exactly happened?"
"I was doing the ward rounds and I walked in, and this man was attacking Professor Snape," Alice says. Alice must have been a student, Aurora thinks. "I just acted on instinct, I don't know how he got in, or who he is."
"Avery," Severus speaks up. He gives Theseus and Aurora a pointed look, and they both nod in understanding. He then turns towards Alice, his voice softer. "Thank you, Miss Kedell."
It is a simple sentiment, but it seems strange coming from him. "That's alright, Professor," she responds, her voice containing a mixture of shock and awe. "You should leave your wand nearby in future. Surely you could have easily fought him off yourself."
That is a good point, Aurora thinks. Why didn't he fight back?
"Go and get some sleep Alice," Theseus tells her. "And take whatever time you need. We can cover your shifts." They wait till Alice leaves, before Theseus addresses Severus, sounding frantic. "You aren't safe here. We need to speak to Minerva. We have been telling you that something like this could happen, we should have kept you somewhere more secure."
"What exactly did he want?" Aurora asks Severus, interrupting before Theseus works himself into a frenzy. Severus laughs humourlessly.
"What do you think he wanted? To cause me pain. To kill me." His fists are clenched again.
"And did you want to let him do that?" Aurora asks him, anger creeping into her voice. "Why didn't you fight back?"
Severus looks up at her at this. Theseus goes to say something but Severus holds up a hand to stop him. He slowly reaches over to his wand, which is lying on the bedside table, and grabs it.
"Lumos," he says clearly, never breaking eye contact with her. There is not even a slight flicker of light.