Brothers
☆James☆
James always wanted a brother.
Never got one thought.
He was nine when the apocalypse started, already too old, but with still some hope that he was going to have a sibling. Then the apocalypse and the stress and the urge to survive came, so he and his family stopped dreaming about it. Honestly, who would want their children to live a life like that without any stability? James definitely can't blame his parents; then, when the stability came, they were too old for another child, so James never got to achieve his dream, and he never wanted to make it weigh on his parents, so he never complained.
He remembers the sadness he felt, seeing all those other kids at his school, talking about how they played with theyr bigger siblings, or how they were happy about aving a new younger sibling about to come and how they took care of them.
He even remembers being so angry at the ones that didn't like their siblings, like, how could you, it felt oltrageous, he did think that as a little kid, in fact now he doesn't anymore because he is more conscious that relationships between siblings can be complicated.
At some point he came to terms with the fact that maybe it wasn't necessary to have a prother or a sister, mind it, still felt sad, but with more consciousness.
James felt like he was born to be a brother, like he needed it.
During the apocalypse that feeling came back, he wanted someone that wasn't required to care about him to do so.
he needed to not be alone, and even if he loved his parents that wasn't the same, he needed someone to share his thoughts with and who was in his identical situation, or someone to take care of in a way that permitted him to take everything else off his mind.
As time passed again, that feeling didn't disappear, it was still there, only less hard, more soft and distant, like his mind decided to forget it to ease the pain.
when the accampament was build and everything was stable is parents were in their fiftys, and James was old enough to be conscious of the fact that it wasn't ethical to ask them for a sibling because they couldn't give him one and knowing them they would have probably felt guilty.
He never asked to adopt a child from the orphanage because he knew that his parents had a lot to do and nearly not enough strength to take care of one, and the older ones were to attached to their actual dead parents to care about new ones, too traumatized to enter a new family and it was totally okay and understandable, so the tought never crossed James mind.
His mother agreed on that too, that's why, when she asked Sirius if he wanted to be adopted, he almost fainted between confusion and exitement as the old lonliness feeling came back to not be seen again.
But now he has a brother, his and only. Someone that will understand him like no one else, and he is excited. Fuck if he is.
James feels a lot overwhelmed by it, because it took him so much time to come to terms with it and now that his bigger dream ever is coming true he doesn't know what to do.
Will they get along? will evrithing be good? is he just thaking advantage of them? what will happen now?
James doesn't know how to answer this questions.
He obviusly is exited but then it has been an utopia for so long that he never thougt 'if that happens I will do that, and that..."
never really made plans, but he will try to be a good brother if Sirius will let him.
He can't wait to go to the hospital and take him home.
Show him his room and lead him around the city, spilling all the tea about everyone so he won't feel left out.
His mom said that it wasn't necessary to adjust his room with too many things that James didn't know if he liked or not.
But he couldn't help it.
They had a spare room adjacent to James's, and they assigned it to Sirius; it was used as a room for storing things, but it wasn't that necessary.
So yesterday, as he came back from the hospital, he started cleaning. He threw out anything that couldn't be useful and donated what was still intact, but he didn't use it anymore so it could have another life and make someone else happy.
For instance, some of his old games that he doesn't use anymore, like dolls and little cars, he gave them at the orphanage, and the faces that the little kids made seeing all those new toys were priceless.
Then, the things he still needed but didn't know were to be put; he took them into his room because there was no way his brother was going to share his spaces with garbage; it had to be perfect.
His dad, who worked as a carpenter, found an old bed someone didn't use and arranged it for Sirius to use until he couldn't make a new one just for him.
The closet was already there, occupying the whole wall, and James stuffed it with some of his clothes he was willing to gift to his new brother and some other ones he bought just for him, but then they were going to buy something brand new that fitted him perfectly, but until then he needed to wear something.
Then he put up some posters about sports, musicals, and old musicians that he found a long time ago inside some abandoned houses. The bigger one was a poster figuring David Bowie, just above the headboard of the bed.
Then James had a recorder that he found in this house when they occupied it with the accompaniment. It was old, but after they managed how to get electricity inside the house using solar panels, he started using it from time to time. It also came with a lot of vinyls from all genres.
James didn't use it that much, so he gifted it to his brother, putting it in the corner of his room.
There was also a library, but James wasn't one to read, so he didn't have books to put there, but if Sirius liked to read, then they were going to buy some at the library.
At one point he turned his head and saw his mom staring at him melancholically.
"James, you know you don't need to do all of that to be a good brother, right?" her tone was so gentile and kind.
"Yes but I want to make a good impression." James felt the fear, if it can be called that, braking him.
If things don't go as planned and they won't get along well he cuold ruin his family.
James knows that his parents will never make something like not getting along with someone weigh on him, but he will, he won't allow himself that, he ruined too many things, that is something he won't.
He still feels guilty from when he made his parents argue with some friends that were with them since before the apocalipse.
His parents never told him anything, they just sayd they tought to be better by themselfe and get away, and that they always were a bit selfish.
But that night James didn't fall asleep, he was still the start and he was scared of something happening while he was sleeping and loosing his parents for that. and he heard them talking, didn't really grasp what they said but remembers hearing his name a couple of times.
He wasn't going to make that happen again.
"Dear, how you adjust his room won't determin how your relationships will be, nothing like this will."
"Yes it will"
"No James"
"Yes mom."
"Absolutely not"
"I already told you it will."
"I already told you it wont, James." they were now shouting at each other.
They don't argue a lot but when they do they shout in a way that anyone could hear them.
"But I need to make everything perfect, why won't you understand? I need to, or it will ruin our family, please, let me, please, i'm bagging you." suddently tears were now running from James eyes, he was screaming and panicking while infinite tought about the friends that saw him grow and left, Sirius, Sirius being angry at him, his family sad again, and a lot of other thougt that he couldn't made out were crossing his mind at an insane speed.
He wasn't one to overthink like this usually, but now he felt vulnerable.
His mother looked surprised, and a bit guilty, James couldn't make out what she was sayng while she guided him to Sirius' bed and sat him down.
She hugged him thight untill James couldn't breath right again and let go.
"Dear, why do you say that? Is something wrong?" the concern in her voice was palpable.
"Because I don't want it to appen again." James didn't know if she heard him, he speaked really low and while passing his arm on his face to wipe away his tears.
"what do you mean?"
"like your friends when they left us, at the start of the apocalypse, i don't want it to append again, i need to make anything perfect
He finished adorning the room around 1.00 AM, but for the occasion, he took a day off work, so he didn't have to worry about waking up too late. With young people, they were going easy; he could leave work early or come late without any problem, didn't have hard tasks, and could take a day off, and no one would beat an eye. Obviously, he couldn't exaggerate, just like school.
He did miss school though. He used to go, but now school finishes at 12 years old, so you can work and help the community. James will never have the high school experience, and that definitely made him a bit sad because he always dreamed about prom and never had one.
So, after finishing setting up Sirius's room, James goes downstairs to wish goodnight to his parents and then goes to sleep.
~☆~
When James'parents woke up, they found him at the table, drinking a cup of coffee while the whole room was filled with "welcome" decorations
"James..." His father started with a tone that suggested he was already tired of it while pinching his noes. "When did you wake up to do all of this?"
"At 4.00 AM, why?" You could have literally seen anticipation coming out of James' body.
"Do you realize he won't be here 'till 11, right?" His dad was even more done with it than before.
"WHAT?! Why didn't you tell me before; now I have to wait five hours more? That's outrageous." the dramatic tone gave it away that he was faking being offended, but you could see he was sad.
"Look darling, why don't you go to work and then get out at eleven so you can go pick him up? In this way, time will pass faster; what do you think?" His mother was always so apprehensive, James loved her.
"But I want to pick him up now." James, although being fifteen, kept throwing a tantrum from time to time, just for fun.
"Yes, I know, but they won't let him go before eleven. So now stop complaining and get ready for work. Please." His mother was always kind, but she knew how to make clear something was unnegotiable. That's why James immediately got up and, while putting on a scene, got upstairs.
Hearing his parents chuckle made him smile because he truly loved making his parents happy.
~☆~
When at work James got welcomed from a way too tired Frank for being only 7 AM.
"James, I thought you weren't going to come today; what about your brother?"
"Mom said I can't go pick him up before eleven, so I thought I might have come to work for what it's worth."
"Thank God, I thought we weren't going to make it today."
Obviously, James told everyone he was going to have a brother, and while working, he couldn't think about anything else; that's why he caused some problems.
After just one hour he got into work, he was able to lose a child, made another fall by accident, and didn't see one almost drinking the cleaning products—they were all natural, sure, but still not safe to drink for a kid-.
So they put him to work with Ariana.
She was a wonderful child, quiet and well-behaved.
Born after the apocalypse, no one knows who she is or what's her age; only that, one day, two years ago, just a month after James started to work, Dumbledore came in with a child and left her there.
They gave her a name and assumed her age, which at the time was about three years old or something, so she now should be five years old.
She is an easy one, always by herself, never getting out of her room.
When Dumbledore took her there, the only thing he said was to keep her isolated, to not make her interact with other children, only us from outside the orphanage, and never believe what she says.
James never questioned anything because he trusted that man with his life, so he did as he said even if he felt bad.
The girl was very clever. Knew Anithing from a very young age; with a beautiful memory, she came in already knowing how to read complicated poems and novels, doing hard calculus in less than ten seconds, and being very autonomous for her age.
James loved her, and she did too; it made him feel so bad that she couldn't meet anyone because she would have so many friends and people that love her.
When he entered the room, it was eight, so they had three long hours to spend together. That's why James took with him monopoly, a lot of books, dolls, and other games. She might have been the smartest little kid he knew, but she still was a little kid, so her attention span was as small as her.
As he closed the door of the big room, a little creature with a big smile hugged him from behind. James greeted her and set her aside, putting all the activities he planned in front of her with a school book included. She might not have the possibility to go out and have knowledge similar to his, but they still requested that they teach her what she would do at school.
"What do you want to do? No, don't do that face; you know you have to study anyway, even if you already know those things."
With a grimace, she pointed at the school book James knew she hated, but he also knew she had to do her homework, so he opened the book to the new exercises and sat her at the desk to work.
While she was working, James tried to read something new, but he was too excited, and his mind kept drifting to his brother in the hospital, whom he was going to see again in a few hours.
He didn't know anything about Sirius, but there was something about him that told James they were going to have a lot of experience together.
From time to time, James checked on the kid because he knew her enough to know that when she finished, she wouldn't do anything.
She didn't say anything at all in general, to be honest.
She used to talk when she came in, but then by being ignored or something she just stopped, which was very weird because she talked a lot, yapped alone, by herself, and never cared about being heard or something; she was doing it compulsively, almost like she didn't want to forget how to do it, that she could do it, but then one day no one heard her voice again. In the start, it was strange, because what the fuck, why did she stop? Then they got used to it.
There was another guy who didn't talk at all, Remus, but he was old enough to provide for himself; he was also the only one in the orphanage who was allowed to be with Ariana, and they did get along very well, James has to admit.
When she finished all her homework, they started playing Monopoly and dressing dolls, even if it was hard to communicate. Usually, James doesn't stay this much with her, so he was very tired.
And by the time James finished all the possible ideas he had in mind about how to spend her time, there was still another half an hour to go. He didn't have anyone who he could ask for help; Frank and Alice were taking care of the toddlers while McGonagall was teaching at the primary school, and Remus was at work, so he had to figure it out all by himself.
He tried thinking about something she could like; one of those things was learning, and something she didn't know was chess, so he set up a board and started teaching her.
She was mesmerized by it; the only problem was that James didn't know how to be sure she understood, so he repeated each move multiple times in different ways, just to be sure, so when he had to go, he wasn't even halfway done. But he promised her that he was going to finish it.
He hugged her tight and left the orphanage, probably to come back in the afternoon; it wasn't requested of him, but he loved those kids too much to not stay with them more.
The way from the orphanage to the hospital wasn't long, but James made it even shorter by using soshortcutsuts.
When he got there, Sirius was all set up and ready to go home and looked almost as excited as James was, which was strange seeing that he never saw him genuinely smiling.
"Are you ready?" James asked.
"Yes, I think I am; are you sure I don't bother anyone?"
"Obviously, otherwise we wouldn't even ask; don't worry about it."
The "okay" that came out of SSirius'smouth wasn't great, so James made sure to smile as much as he could so Sirius wouldn't feel like a problem.
On the path back from the hospital, James had to hold back from telling Sirius about everything in the city because he planned to show him everything and spill all the tea in the afternoon, but it was soooooo hard.
They talked a bit about how things worked around and the rules in the house, and without even realizing it, they were home.
Inside the house, the smell of freshly baked cookies was strong, and James couldn't wait to eat them, but he had to contain himself for Sirius.
For the first time since Sirius was found alone, almost dead in the woods, James saw him genuinely smiling with his eyes full of happiness, seeing all the banners with 'welcome' written on them that James made himself, and the cookie and the love that everything contained just for him.
While they were still at the door, his parents came to hug them; his father's hug was fast; he never felt much comfortable with hugs. His mother, on the other hand, loved them, so she hugged Sirius for more than a minute while James and his father stared at each other understandingly because his mother never lets go of a hug, but they weren't going to tell Sirius; he had to figure it out all by himself.
"Come on Sirius, let's go upstairs; I have to show you your room." James was already on his way.
"Be back in ten minutes; Lunch is almost ready." Effie said with her 'don't even try to argue about it' tone.
"What do we eat today?" Obviously, James was expecting something good, but when his mother told him they were going to eat enchiladas, James realized how hungry he was.
They never ate the food he used to like, if not for special occasions, obviously because they were short on money and supplies, so meals weren't a big thing anymore but on special days, James'favorite foods showed up.
He remembers loving enchiladas as a kid and even more now that he stopped eathing them as much as he did, because he gets so excited every time his mom makes some.
When upstairs, James showed Sirius the bathroom and where all the rooms were until he came to his and opened the door.
"Wait, I have my own room?" Sirius was extatic (continuo a non saprei se è una parola ma capisci che voglio intendere).
"Why, didn't you have one before?"
"Yes, but even as an heir it wasn't THAT big, and more than that, it didn't have a door."
"Wait, you were an heir? And you didn't have a...door?"
SSirius'sface exploded in shock, probably realizing that he said something he didn't want people to know, so James took the discussion somewhere else.
"Anyway, this is the wardrobe; I put in some clothes because I thought you could've wanted something clean; some are mine, something I bought but I didn't know your size, so I tried to make assumptions, but we can go out later to buy something. The same is for books; I don't read a lot, so there isn't much, but if you want, we can stop at the library.
I also put on some posters; same thing; didn't know what you were into, so I put up a bit of everything; the bed will be rearranged when dad makes a new one; and last but not least, here in the corner there is a record player with some old vinyls; I didn't use it, so now it is yours."
While saying all of that, James was moving around the room, showing Sirius things while he looked mesmerized.
"What do you mean all of this is mine?"
"Well, it is."
"How do I need to pay back?" Sirius was concerned.
"I already told you, you don't, easy."
"I don't believe you. Where did you take all this money?" Sirius was suspicious.
"I get paid based on the hours of work, and I work a lot because I like the kids I take care of, so I also get a lot of money; work hard and you'll get them too."
"Are we going to listen to something or not?" Sirius started acting more nonchalant; maybe he was trying to adapt.
"Sure, what do you want to listen to?"
"Maybe, Starman, what do you say?" Said Sirius while going through all the vinyls and putting David Bowie on the recorder.
And so they spent the next five minutes listening to David Bowie singing, while Sirius had a nostalgic look on his face.
That made James realize a lot of things, like that he doesn't know that boy, who is going to stay at his house for, hopefully, the next few years, who he has to share everything with, and who might be a psycho, and this trilled James; he wanted to know everything about him like a brother should in as little time as possible.
And when his mother called them downstairs to eat and they rushed through the stairs, racing with each other, it felt like everything James ever wanted.