"You're impossible, Black!" Sirius glared from his seat in an abandoned classroom, arms crossed.
"You're the impossible one, MicKinnon. I don't have a meltdown every time something doesn't go perfectly my way!" Marlene stopped her pacing and her jaw dropped slightly.
"I'm not having a meltdown!"
"You're so dramatic. It was just a joke, calm down already."
"No, I'm not going to calm down, you're being a right arse. And calling me dramatic is rich from you. You're the biggest drama queen in the school!" He groaned and tore a hand through his hair.
"You're being ridiculous."
"Am not!"
"Honestly I don't know why I even date you." She glared.
"I don't know either! You're clearly madly in love with Remus!" He stared, jaw dropped.
"I am not in love with Moony!" Marlene laughed, real humor in her tone as she spoke.
"You are Black! Madly and truly in love." He hesitated, thinking. He'd never felt anything towards Marlene, she was pretty and fun to hang out with sure, but he never felt anything.
Remus... being around Remus made him warm and fuzzy inside. Casual brushing of shoulders between classes and hands while they worked in the library sent tingles through his body and that smile Remus reserved for his close friends always made his stomach do a slow flip. His brain finally connected all the pieces and the realization hit him hard. His hands were shaking slightly and his throat was suddenly dry.
"Oh fuck." He couldn't be in love with Remus. He just couldn't. His parents might literally kill him and it could ruin his only friendships. His breath caught in his chest and he bent over, gasping for what air he could get. Marlene was instantly at his side.
"Hey, it's okay. Deep breaths. See?" She took several deep breaths and he did his best to mimic them. "It's alright, you just need to breathe." It took several minutes but his breathing evened back out.
"Thanks." She nodded.
"I'm going to be quite honest, I don't think I would have screamed that at your face if I knew you were going to panic." He gave her a small smirk.
"How kind of you." He remarked dryly. Rubbing his forehead, he sighed. "Well that's fun." Marlene nodded.
"Very fun. And what do you plan to do with your newfound knowledge?" Sirius winced.
"I'm assuming bury it deep down and never deal with it isn't an option."
"It is most definitely not." He sighed again and slumped in his chair as Marlene pulled up another to sit in herself.
"I dunno, it's not like I can do much with it." Marlene stared.
"It's not like you can do much with it? You could go up to the common room and snog Remus fucking Lupin!" He shook his head.
"No I couldn't." She gaped for a moment before she found words.
"Why the bloody hell not?" He gestured helplessly.
"He's straight. Besides, even if he wasn't, he wouldn't like me." Marlene jumped to her feet.
"What do you mean?" She practically screeched the question and Sirius winced. Lowering her voice slightly she continued. "Are you stupid or... or blind? Because you must be both if you're really this oblivious."
"What?" He leaned away from her slightly, hands raised in defense. "I'm not oblivious!" She sank back in her chair and put her head in her hands, shoulders shaking slightly. "Are you crying?"
"I'm laughing. At you." She looked up. "Bloody hell. You're... Remus is obsessed with you. He's probably more in love with you then you are with him. Everyone knows it."
"... What?" She didn't answer and just dissolved into laughter again.
"Bloody hell. And I thought Potter was the oblivious one."
- - -
By time they got back to the common room Marlene had gotten over her laughter but still occasionally dissolved into quiet giggles and Sirius was... over his shock enough to be functional. They stopped outside the portrait hole.
"Good luck to you Black." He smiled, tense.
"Thanks. See you around McKinnon." They entered together but Marlene quickly found Lily and her friends, settling in with their group as he headed up to the dorm. Opening the door he was instantly greeted with an enthusiastic "Pads!" from James that he returned with a grin. He sat on his bed and the other three looked at him expectantly.
"So where have you been?" Peter was the first to ask and he took a few moments before answering.
"Me and Marlene broke up." All three looked instantly relieved but quickly hid it with sympathy. James was the first to respond.
"Oh Pads I'm sorry." Peter nodded quickly.
"That's awful." He stared for a moment, unimpressed.
"You don't have to fake sympathy. I'm not upset." Remus, who had hardly bothered to mask the relief, leaned forward slightly.
"You're not?" At the same time James and Peter sighed.
"Oh thank fuck. It was about time." Sirius just nodded slightly.
"Yeah. Anyways."
- - -
James and Peter had been called down by the girls a few minutes ago, Marlene's doing, and had left him and Remus alone.
"So you're not upset?" He shook his head.
"No, not really. We never really uh..." He searched for a word. "Did couply stuff? We just kinda hung out and fought a lot." Remus nodded slowly.
"Besides, you know, I don't think I was particularly into her. Was interested in someone else." Remus’s eyes widened.
"Oh?" He nodded and bit his lip slightly. He saw Remus's eyes flick down and smirked.
"And it's a real pity because-" Remus cut him off.
"Marlene was the one that called Wormy and Prongs down. If this is a joke of some kind..." He shook his head
"No joke. No prank." And then Remus was kissing him and Sirius was positive he was going to die right there.
- - -
When they descended the stairs after a good 30 minutes they were immediately noticed by Marlene who stood, looking the most excited anyone had seen her in months.
"So?" Sirius blushed and lifted their twined hands in the air. The common room cheered and Sirius hid his face in Remus’s shoulder as he laughed, face utterly red in embarrassment.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.