The first thing Barty ever thinks when he looks at Regulus is that he’s so in love. There’s nothing about Regulus that Barty doesn’t love. The way he dresses, the glisten he gets in his eyes when he talks about the books he reads, the way he always has a glare on his face unless he’s with Barty, the way he acts when no one’s around.
Regulus is it for Barty. Barty has been sure of that for years, since their third year at Hogwarts. They met in first year when Barty sat down next to him in The Great Hall for their first night of dinners. They clicked almost instantly.
When Barty sat down, Regulus didn’t acknowledge him at first, no matter how much Barty tried starting conversation with him. Instead, Regulus whole attention was glued to the book he was reading.
“I love that book,” Barty said. And that’s what got Regulus’ attention. As soon as Barty said that, Regulus’ head whipped around to look at him.
“You do?” He asked, and Barty nodded enthusiastically. They spent the rest of that dinner talking about it with each other, sharing their favourite lines, scenes, characters, everything.
Truth be told, Barty had never read it. But his childhood best friend Dorcas Meadowes was a big reader, and she had read it about fifty times.
Whenever she read a book she would give Barty an in-depth explanation about everything that happened, what all the characters were like, what she liked best about it, and what she didn’t. So he basically just stole all her answers.
That was the first of many conversations between the two boys. Lucky enough for Barty, they were both placed in the same dorm along with another boy they became friends with, Evan Rosier.
The three of them just fit together, and soon enough Barty found himself having two more best friends. Not long after, he introduced them both to Dorcas, who was in the year above them, and Evan introduced them to his twin sister. The five of them have been friends ever since.
Barty thinks he’s incapable of having a conversation that isn’t all about Regulus. At any chance he gets, he’ll relate it back to something Regulus has said, or done. It’s no secret to all his friends, except Regulus, that he’s in love.
When he told them, they had said they’d all already known.
“I think I’m in love with Regulus,” Barty had blurted out mid conversation. Evan stopped talking about his Modern History homework and they all fell silent before turning to look at Barty.
“Fucking finally,” Dorcas said. Barty stared at her dumbfounded, because what did she mean fucking finally? As if she had read his mind, she said, “you’re not the best at hiding it, we’ve known since your third year.”
“Yeah, Barty, you’re not the best at hiding it,” Evan had said, backing up Dorcas’ comment.
“What do you mean I’m not the best at hiding it?” He asked.
“You’re always talking about him, like always. I swear you never shut up about him,” Dorcas said. But she wasn’t done. “At first I didn’t think much of it, because you guys have always been closer than you have with any of us. I thought he was just your best friend, but I ate my words real fast.”
Before Barty could say anything, Evan started talking. “You have this look he’s around. It’s as if he’s hung the stars in the sky. You’d make it so obvious with that look alone, even if you didn’t shut up about him.”
“What- Dora?” Barty asked, hoping she’d say it wasn’t as obvious to her as it was to the other two.
Pandora gives him one of the most sympathetic looks he’s ever received from her before saying, “you’re not the best at hiding it babe.”
Barty began to freak out right then and there. If the others have noticed, then surely Regulus has too. If that’s the case then their friendship would be ruined. There’s absolutely no way Regulus likes him back, and if he knew their friendship would be over.
“Do you think he knows?” Barty asked with a clear panicked expression on his face. His friends must’ve noticed because they instantly began to reassure him.
“Regulus wouldn’t know anyone else’s feelings if it hit him on the head. That boy is so oblivious when he wants to be,” Dorcas said, and her words made Barty relax instantly.
“So you don’t think he knows? Has he said anything to any of you?” Barty asked, and they all shook their heads.
Barty was a little sceptical at first, but their assumption was soon proven right as nothing between Barty and Regulus had changed. There was no indication in Regulus’ words or actions that he knew Barty liked him, and Barty was eternally thankful.
Even when Barty jokingly, well not jokingly anymore, flirts with Regulus, he isn’t weird about it like he would be if he knew Barty liked him.
Like even now, they’re sitting together on Regulus’ bed like always, Regulus is doing his Ancient History assignment that’s due the next day. But Regulus is wearing Barty’s clothes, and Barty loves it. He loves when Regulus wears his clothes because it allows Barty’s mind to run free. He thinks about how often Regulus could wear his clothes if there was ever a universe where they would be together. And Barty would fall in love all over again, because he just looks so good in them.
“You look so pretty when you wear my clothes,” Barty says, and Regulus just rolls his eyes in response while still doing his Ancient History assignment.
“Do you ever stop flirting?” Regulus asked, and Barty smiled at him, despite him not looking at Barty to see it.
“How could I when you’re so gorgeous,” he says, and Regulus turns to look at him with the most unimpressed look ever.
They sit in silence for a bit longer, Regulus still flicking through his notes and text book, scribbling down his essay. Barty loves spending time with Regulus, but selfishly he hates when Regulus is doing work because it means his attention is on the papers in front of him and not on Barty.
“Are you almost done? I’m bored,” Barty says, and Regulus sighs.
“You can’t sit still for one hour, can you?” He says and Barty shakes his head while grinning. That’s a lie, Barty can and will sit still when Regulus needs him to, but he can’t help being bored when the boy he loves and has loved for the last two years is too busy to talk to him.
“I’m almost done, give me ten more minutes,” Regulus says before going back to his work.
Barty would like to retract his previous statement. Regulus was right and he is physically incapable of sitting still for an hour. Needing to move he starts to bounce his leg so he has something to do.
His leg bouncing lasts a good twenty seconds before Regulus moves his hand he isn’t writing with to Barty’s knee and holds it still. Barty feels hot under Regulus’ touch. It’s as if they’re going through some sort of heat wave.
Regulus sticks true to his word and after ten minutes pass, without him removing his hand from Barty’s knee, he places his essay on his bedside table along with his textbook and notes.
“Finally,” Barty says jokingly, and Regulus rolls his eyes before moving his hand from Barty’s knee and moving himself so that he’s also leaning his back against the bed rest, their shoulders so close that they’re basically merging together.
“What do you want to do now?” Regulus asked, and Barty shrugged his shoulders. Regulus glared at him. “You were bored of me doing my work, and now you have no idea what you want to do?”
“Well, yeah,” Barty says as if it’s obvious.
“You’re so annoying,” Regulus responds, and Barty just smiles.
“Yeah, but you love me.” And Regulus doesn’t deny it.
Instead, he whispers two words to Barty in French, two words that Barty has heard Regulus say many times before. Two words that Barty has no clue what they mean. “Je t’aime,” is all Regulus says, and while Barty has no idea what they could mean, he smiles at Regulus anyways.
────
“I can’t do this Cas,” Barty says. The two are sitting outside of the castle near the black lake under a tree. Dorcas is rereading a book for the sixth time and Barty is supposed to be doing homework, but instead he’s resorted to complaining.
“I mean, he’s so perfect. Have you seen him? He’s like a poem I wish I wrote. And he’s just so French and I love it. I mean, his accent? It’s honestly a miracle I haven’t kissed him yet.”
“Why don’t you just, I don’t know, tell him how you feel? Maybe something good will come out of it.” Dorcas says and Barty looks at her as if she’s just committed some sort of hate crime.
“Funny joke,” he says flatly.
“I’m not joking, Barty,” she says, shutting her book and putting it down on the grass. “You don’t know what could come from it. And I promise you it’ll feel a lot better once you get it out.”
“I know what will come of it. Regulus will stop being friends with me because it’ll weird him out, and then I won’t feel better once it’s out.”
Barty doesn’t get a response from him straight away. She just stares at him before she’s moving her hands and fucking shoves him. Barty falls back onto the grass.
“What the fuck Cas!?” He asks, glaring at her once he sits back up.
“You are so fucking stupid Barty Crouch,” she says, and the use of his last name means clearly mad at him. Barty doesn’t understand what he did, but before he can ask she continues talking. “If you think Regulus would ever stop being friends with you for something as stupid as that then you’re clearly not at bright as you seem to be.”
“Ouch, Cas? I’m trying to come to you with my problem and you’re just being a bitch,” he says, but Dorcas still has more to say.
“Barty, you are my best friend, my brother, my fucking soulmate, and I’m not going to let you just sit in misery every day when there’s various things you could be doing. Take my advice and talk to Regulus or don’t complain to me about him,” she says, and Barty scoffs.
“You know what, fuck you. Before you and Pandora got together you were always coming to me with stuff like this, and I helped you every single time.”
“And I wish I had said something to her earlier, because I spent months being in love with her not thinking she’d like me back, and she did. I wasted months where I could’ve been with the girl of my dreams, but I was too scared. You don’t know what could happen if you just talked to him about this,” she said, and while Barty knows there’s some truth to her words, and she’s only trying to help, it’s still pissing him off.
“Maybe you just got lucky. There’s no indication that Regulus could like me back, there’s no facts to go off of,” Barty says, and Dorcas’ gaze softens.
“Barty, that boy would do anything, and I mean anything for you. I’m sure you could ask him to kill someone and he’d do it no questions asked,” she says softly.
“Why would he like me, Dorcas,” Barty says, looking down at his hands. “He could do so much better, there’s no way he’d settle for someone like me. I refuse to even entertain the idea.”
“You only see what you want to see, Barty. I have no clue if he likes you or not, and even if I did I wouldn’t tell you because it’s not my place,” she says, “but, I think there’s a chance. Don’t throw away what could be one of the best relationships you could ever have because you think you’re unlovable. I love you, Evan loves you, Pandora loves you, and whether you chose to believe it or not, I really do think Regulus loves you.”
Of course Barty knows Regulus loves him. While Regulus never says it out loud, he says it in different ways. He says it by holding Barty’s hand. He says it by staying awake in Barty’s bed at night with him when he knows Barty isn’t tired and won’t fall asleep, so that he knows he isn’t alone. He says it by telling Barty everything, because he knows it means a lot to Barty when someone shows they can trust him. And he says it by being there for Barty when he goes through his hard days and can’t get out of bed, Regulus is always there by his side. Regulus has always been there for Barty.
And while he knows Regulus loves him, he also knows it’s not in the way Barty wishes he did.
“I’m going to go find Regulus,” Barty says, and Dorcas nods before hugging him and going back to her book. The first place Barty looks is the Library. When Regulus isn’t there, he goes to the dorms. Regulus isn’t in their dorm or in the common room, so he checks all of Regulus’ favourite hiding spots around the castle.
He checks all the empty classrooms he comes across, all the alcoves around the castle that he and Regulus hide out in when Regulus gets too overwhelmed, and finally he finds him behind one of the many banners around the school, hidden in a small tunnel. Barty didn’t even know this existed, but Regulus must’ve come across it at some point.
“Hey gorgeous,” he says, moving towards Regulus to sit down in front of him. “Are you okay?”
“I’m okay,” Regulus says, and Barty knows he isn’t, but he doesn’t push. Regulus will tell him when he’s ready to talk about it. “Just school work, it’s a bit stressful at the moment.”
“That’s okay,” Barty says, intertwining his fingers with Regulus’. They sit in silence for a while before Barty asks, “will you teach me something in French?”
Barty knows that Regulus usually speaks French when he’s stressed and it makes him calm down, so he uses that as an excuse to make Regulus feel better.
“What do you want to learn?” He asks.
“Surprise me,” Barty says, and Regulus sighs.
“Je pense tu es l’amour de ma vie,” Regulus says, and Barty tries his best to mimic the words. He knows he’s definitely butchering them, but the amusement on Regulus’ face is worth making a fool out of himself.
“Your pronunciation is horrendous,” Regulus says, laughing quietly at Barty.
“Hey, it’s not my fault I didn’t grow up in possibly the poshest country in the world,” he jokes, and Regulus smiles.
“I’ll say it slowly,” he says, and he does. It takes Barty a few tries but eventually Regulus says his pronunciation is good enough for any French person to understand what he’s saying.
“What does it mean?” Barty asks, and Regulus smiles at him.
“That’s for me to know,” he says, and Barty groans.
“You always do that, when I ask you to teach me something you never tell me what it means,” Barty says, remembering back to all the times he’s asked Regulus to teach him something, never knowing what he’s saying. “For all I know I could be telling you to go fuck your self right now.”
“Something like that,” he says, and Barty smiles.
“You say those two words all the time, it starts with a ‘G’ sound, I think,” Barty says, and Regulus smiles sadly.
“Je t’aime.”
“Yeah, that. What does that mean?”
“I’m not telling you,” Regulus says, and Barty groans again.
“You’re killing me here, Reggie,” Barty says and Regulus just laughs. That sound never fails to put a smile on Barty’s face. “Well, if you won’t tell me, I’ll just have to figure it out myself.”
“Good luck with that,” Regulus says. They sit together for a while longer before Regulus begins to move. “This floor is disgusting, I want to leave now,” he says.
“And he’s back. Afraid of a little dust, Reg?” Barty teases, and Regulus rolls his eyes before standing up and extending his hand to Barty. Barty takes it gratefully, and they walk back to their dorm with their fingers interlocked again.
────
Barty has spent the last week trying to figure out what Regulus was saying to him in French, but he’s had no luck. He asked Dorcas, who he knows knows a little bit of French, but she refused to tell him.
Some best friend she is.
So now, his last resort is asking someone he really, really, does not want to.
“Oi,” Barty says to one of the first year Gryffindors. The kid’s face turns white as paper and he looks like he’s seen a ghost. It’s not like Barty doesn’t know why, most of the younger kids are scared of him. Maybe it’s all the fights he’s been in, but if people don’t want him to fight other students, those said students should learn how to keep their mouths shut.
“Go get Sirius Black for me,” he says, and the kid basically runs inside the common room. It doesn’t take long before Sirius is standing outside the entrance to the common room, looking extremely unimpressed.
“Crouch,” he says, sounding bored.
“Black,” Barty responds in the exact same tone. “I have a question for you.”
Sirius looks dumbfounded. “Why are you coming to me?”
“Because I need you to translate something for me,” Barty says, and Sirius gives him a look as if saying get on with it. Barty absolutely hates him. “There’s two words in French that I don’t know how to say, and I need to know what they mean.”
“Okay?” Sirius asks, now sounding confused. “What are they?”
“Are you fucking deaf? I just said I don’t know how to say them. I swear you Gryffindors don’t have any fucking brain cells.”
“You know, it’s best not to insult the people you want things from. What do they sound like?”
“Uh the first word has a ‘G’ sound I think, and the second word starts with a ‘T’,” he says.
He watches the cogs turn in Sirius’ brain, before he asks, “Je t’aime?”
“Yes, that. What does it mean?” Barty asked.
“I’m a bit confused, why are you asking me? Aren’t you best friends with my brother?” Sirius asked, and Barty wants to fucking bash his head into a wall. Why can’t he just give Barty an answer instead of asking so many questions? Barty could’ve had his answers by now.
“Because he won't tell me, and Dorcas won’t tell me, so I have to resort to this. Now what does it mean?” Barty asks.
“It means ‘I love you’,” Sirius says, and Barty feels his heart doing backflips. So Regulus has been telling Barty that he loves him almost every day for the past few years they’ve known each other for. Good to know.
“Okay, I have one more. What does ‘Je pense tu es l’amour de ma vie’ mean?” He says, and the sound of Sirius’ snort he knows he’s fucked the words up, but he doesn’t care. He needs to know what this means.
“Who the fuck is saying that to you, I don’t believe anyone could ever think you’re the love of their life.” Sirius says, and Barty freezes. Wait, what!?
“Excuse me?” Barty asks.
“That’s what it means, I think you’re the love of my life,” he says, and Barty thinks he could cry. Regulus actually likes him!?
“I have to go,” Barty says before basically running back towards the Slytherin common room. Behind him he hears Sirius yell out something like you’re fucking welcome but he doesn’t have time to stop. He has to get to Regulus.
He curses the dungeons for being so far from the third floor of the castle, because while it doesn’t take him too long to get there, it feels like forever.
When he does, he slams the common room door open and runs up the stairs not caring about all the weird looks he’s probably getting. He passes Dorcas and Pandora on his way through and doesn’t stop when Dorcas calls out his name. He’ll talk to her later.
Right now he just needs to talk to Regulus. When he gets up the stairs and to his dorm, he also slams that door open.
“What- Barty!? What the fuck are you in such a rush for?” Evan asks, but Barty doesn’t take his eyes of Regulus who is sitting on Barty’s bed doing what just be more assignments.
“Evan,” he says, still not turning to look at him, “fuck off.”
“Excuse me?” Evan says, not sounding offended but more confused. “What do you mean fuck off? You know I live in here too, you can’t just kick me—”
But Evan doesn’t get to finish his sentence before Barty says “Evan I mean it, fuck off. I need to talk to Regulus alone.”
It’s only then when Regulus looks up from his paper and right at Barty. Evan doesn’t say anything, instead just leaving the room and pulling the door shut behind him.
“Barty?” Regulus asked, looking confused, “what’s wrong?”
Barty moves to sit in front of Regulus, pushing his papers onto the floor. He doesn’t care, he’ll clean it up later.
“What the fuck!? I was halfway through an essay,” Regulus says and Barty can't bring himself to care right now.
“I know what that French stuff means,” Barty says, and Regulus just raises an eyebrow. “Regulus, were you telling the truth? Am I really the love of your life?”
If Regulus is shocked at the fact Barty knows, he doesn’t show it. Fuck Regulus and his ability to control his emotions.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, moving to pick the papers up off the floor, bringing them to his lap. Barty wants to grab his shoulders and shake the fuck out of him.
“Regulus, please,” Barty pleads, “I know that’s what you said. I need to know if it’s true or not.”
“That’s not what I said,” Regulus says, and Barty knows he’s lying. Regulus lying to him is new, and he hates how much it fucking hurts.
“Reggie, Reg look at me,” Barty says, and when Regulus doesn’t he brings his hands to Regulus’ face and holds it in place, forcing him to look at Barty. “Please don’t lie to me. I can’t handle you lying to me. I need to know the truth.”
“That’s not what I said, Barty,” Regulus says, and Barty stares at him trying to find some sort of indication on his face that’ll give away that he’s lying, even though Barty already knows he is.
“Reg, I went to Sirius. I asked him what it meant and he told me,” Barty says, and that’s when Regulus gives it away. It’s only for a split second, but Barty can see the fear in Regulus’ eyes.
“Why did you go to Sirius!?” He asks, almost sounding angry.
“I had to! You wouldn’t tell me, and when I asked Dorcas she wouldn’t either, that was my last resort. I didn’t want to, but I had to.”
“Fuck sakes Barty,” Regulus says. Neither of them say anything for a few seconds, until Regulus breaks the silence. “Fine. I like you Barty, I’ve liked you since we met and I realised last year that I’m in love with you.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything Reg,” Barty asked quietly. His heart is breaking right now because of all this time they wasted. Regulus could’ve said something, and Barty should’ve said something.
Barty is so mad at himself for not listening to Dorcas last week when she told him to tell Regulus.
“Because, you don’t like me and I didn’t want it to be weird between us,” Regulus says, with the most sad expression on his face that Barty has ever seen him have. “I don’t want it to be weird between us Barty, you’re my best friend first, I can get over these feelings I won’t let it ruin our friendship.
“Reggie,” Barty says, “I have loved you for so long, I am so fucking in love with you. I didn’t know what love felt like until I met you and I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything earlier, I hate that I didn’t because we’ve just wasted so many years.”
“You’re lying, you’re being cruel Barty. Don’t do this,” Regulus says, pulling his head away from Barty’s hands.
“I swear on everything I’m not lying. You can ask Dorcas, or Pandora, or Evan. There’s no one else in this world for me, it’s always been you Regulus.”
It takes exactly ten seconds. Ten seconds of them staring at each other before Regulus is practically jumping onto Barty and they’re kissing. They’re fucking kissing.
Yes, Barty thinks. I have waited so long for this, he thinks. He deepens the kiss before moving to kiss down Regulus’ jaw. This is what Barty was made to do. He was put on this earth to worship the fuck out of the boy in front of him.
Regulus whispers those two words again, and again, and again. “Je t’aime, je t’aime, je t’aime,” he says, and Barty brings his lips back to Regulus’.
After a while, Barty broke the kiss and just stared at the boy in front of him. Regulus with his now swollen lips, his grey eyes that glisten in the sun, his gorgeous black curls that Barty loves running his hands through.
“What does this mean?” Regulus asked.
“Do you want to be together?”
Regulus doesn’t waste any more time before nodding his head and kissing Barty again. Barty has never been happier in his life.
────
Things between Regulus and Barty have never been better. Every morning Barty wakes up with Regulus next to him, Regulus latched onto him with his head on Barty’s chest. And while they used to sleep in the same bed all the time, it’s different now. Because now Regulus is Barty’s boyfriend and he has everything he’s ever wanted in the palm of his hands.
Barty’s alarm goes off, and Regulus moves his hand to turn it off without opening his eyes. Barty smiles while staring at the boy who is curled up next to him.
It doesn’t take much longer for Regulus to decide he wants to open his eyes, and the moment he does he smiles at Barty. “Hi,” he says.
“Morning gorgeous, how did you sleep?” Barty asked.
“Good. I always sleep good when I’m with you,” Regulus whispers the last part, as if it’s a secret just for Barty to know. Barty places a kiss on Regulus’ forehead.
“I need to shower,” Regulus says, and selfishly Barty doesn’t want him to, because that means he has to leave. When Regulus makes no attempt of getting up, Barty can tell Regulus feels the exact same.
“Yeah, you smell,” Barty jokes, and Regulus glares at him. Barty smiles back and watches as Regulus’ glare softens, not by a lot, but enough for Barty to pick up on. “Go shower gorgeous, I’ll shower after you and then we can go get breakfast together.”
Regulus gets out of bed and Barty listens to the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing, and soon after the water starts running. When Regulus comes out he’s wearing one of Barty’s jumpers, and Barty feels his heart melting.
He has his shower and then he and Regulus walk to breakfast together, fingers intertwined like always. Barty makes the assumption that Evan must already be there because he didn’t see him in his own bed when they woke up.
When they get to The Great Hall, they sit down with their friends, who are talking about assignments.
“Reg! Can I copy your Ancient History assignment please, I don’t have time to do it before classes tomorrow,” Evan says.
“Okay,” Regulus says, and Evan visibly relaxes.
“Choosing both Modern and Ancient History was not a smart idea. I regret it so much. Do you think they’d let me drop one?”
“Probably not Ev, we’re already more than halfway into the year, there’d be no point,” Pandora says sympathetically to her brother.
Breakfast went by fast, and the five of them walked back to the common room and into the boys’ dorm. It had been days since Barty and Regulus decided they wanted to be together, and they still hadn’t told their friends.
So that's what they’re doing.
Evan was in the middle of talking about something before Regulus interrupted him. “I have something to say.”
The three of them turned to face him. “What’s wrong Reg?” Pandora asked.
“Me and Barty are dating.”
“Fucking finally,” Dorcas said.
“Will you stop saying that?” Barty asked, and Dorcas just stuck her tongue out at him.
“Who confessed first?” Pandora asked, before Regulus and Barty told them about most of the conversation they had had.
Once they were done, Dorcas turned to Pandora with the biggest grin Barty has ever seen in his life. “You owe me money.”
“Excuse me?” Regulus asked, sounding downright appalled. “You bet on us?”
“Yes. And I won.”
“You bet against me? Dorcas what the fuck!?” Barty asked, sounding just as appalled as Regulus. Regulus shot him a look, as if saying that’s what you’re upset about?
“You weren’t listening to my advice! I had to take my chances at making some money,” she said and Regulus rolled his eyes.
“Looks like Evan is the only one without a love life in the friend group then,” Barty said.
“That’s not true. Just because I don’t walk around displaying my business for the world to see doesn’t mean I don’t like someone,” he said, defensively.
“You do!?” They all asked, except for Pandora. Of course she knows, that girl knows everything.
“Who is it?” Barty asked.
“None of your business, Crouch,” Evan replied, smiling at him.
“What- but? Reg, back me up here,” Barty said, turning to his boyfriend.
“If he doesn’t want to tell us he doesn’t have to Barty. We didn’t tell them for days,” Regulus said, and Barty must’ve been pouting because Regulus rolled his eyes and called him a baby before wrapping his arms around Barty.
Barty swears that if Regulus keeps doing shit like this he’s going to marry him. One day. He swears on his life, Regulus will be his husband. Because Barty has never loved anyone like he loves Regulus.
Regulus is it for him.