Old meets New
The morning of September 2nd started a lot better than it had in the last two years. Alicia woke up a lot earlier than expected, and even a lot earlier than anyone would have needed to. Classes would start at 9, which left her with 2.5 hours to get dressed, eat breakfast and find her classroom. Balancing her clothes, her towel and toiletries in her arms she made her way into the bathroom and locked the wooden door. She hung her towel onto the hook next to the sink, placed her toiletries and clothes onto the small ledge and then opened the window. Sunlight and the sound of birds singing started to fill the room. A fresh breeze of air went through Alicia's hair and she took a moment to breath. Seeing her dorm mates again, hearing them gossip about her and being forced to spend her time with so many people was already draining the gryffindor. Classes would be even worse, but at least for this one moment on a monday morning she was feeling all right. Taking off the old shirt and shorts that she called pajamas she took a moment to look at her body in the rectangular mirror in front of her. Normally, Alicia tried everything in her power to avoid seeing her body but today she felt like she needed to see it. It still looked the same. Curves she could barely hide, wide hips and, for some unknown reason, broad shoulders and muscular arms. It didn't match. If her curves were gone she could maybe be okay with it for now, but they wouldn't disappear any time soon. Just like her chest. During the months at the Dursleys it had gotten significantly smaller due to her being starved by her relatives, but she knew it would eventually come back once she started eating again. The solution was so simple. If she didn't eat her chest wouldn't grow. Her body wouldn't become even more feminine and maybe she would finally feel comfortable in her skin. That thought felt powerful. Puberty had hit her in the face, leaving her feeling so hopeless and wrong that at times she wondered if her suffering would stop if she stopped existing. It hadn't been a new thought, but it had definitely changed in intensity. It followed her like a friend every day, granting her an escape from her reality. Leaving her with an emergency exit out of her suffering. For now though, she could not take that exit, there was too much to plan. And, a tombstone with the name Alicia on it would leave her being remembered as someone she never was. So, for now it was to finding alternative solutions. Such as the black pants lying on the ledge next to her. She put them on, then her dress shirt and tie, finishing her outfit with the dark grey sweater the students were required to wear. While there were quite a few girls who wore pants instead of skirts for their uniform, most of them were in year seven. None of the younger students wanted to risk detention for breaking the dress code. Alicia however did not care. Maybe Snape would poison her in detention. Maybe Filch would send her into the forbidden forest where she would get eaten by an acromantula. Or maybe, her head of house would expel her right then and there, leaving her to die locked up at the Dursleys. Whatever would happen, it could not be worse than being late to pick up her timetable. And so, she tried to shake away her thoughts, wash her face, put up her dark brown hair and, after putting on shoes, leave the dorm room as soon as possible.
When she arrived in front of Professor McGonagalls office, she was surprised to find it empty. Except for a note saying "take only your timetable and then leave, I am in an important meeting" and a bunch of timetables laying around there was no sight of the older woman. Alicia was glad about it, though it meant she would actually have to attend classes today, instead of getting scolded for wearing pants. Skimming over her timetable on the way towards the great hall, she noticed a few things:
She had Defense against the dark arts today.
She would see Snape way too often
Divination was in a room she had never heard of before.
Those problems however were problems for future Alicia, as for now she wanted to drink her coffee in peace. It had taken quite a bit of work for her to convince the house elves, but once Dobby started working in the kitchens, the Gryffindor was allowed to take a mug outside of the great hall to drink her coffee alone. It wasn't that she liked the great hall, but she wasn't the biggest fan of socialising, especially in the morning. And so, the brown haired teenager filled her mug with coffee and eventually made her way towards the grounds. Like the years before, her usual route started at the great hall, went past hagrids' towards the womping willow, past the greenhouses and then back to the great hall. The steaming mug in her hands seemed like it was sent from heaven as the cold air hit her face. The air was crisp, a small wind was blowing and a few owls were flying around as well. It was quiet. Alicia liked it. Until she came near the murderous tree. Usually the girl did not mind it but today she did. Near the tree stood a man. She was sure it was her new professor but, not feeling like interacting with him earlier than necessary, she stopped short, turned around and walked straight back into the castle. She placed her mug on one of the tables, hastily made her way back to Gryffindor tower to grab her bag and the stepped out of the portrait hole again. She had to avoid all teachers, but especially those she did not know yet. Detention for breaking the dress code was always embarrassing but receiving it from someone she did not know yet was even worse. And so, after asking the fat lady for directions, she tried to make her way to her newest class- Divinations. She only chose it because everything else seemed worse. Plus, with Defense in the afternoon she would meet two new people in the span of a day, so, the subject itself could not get worse than the day she had ahead.