Arlecchino always despised peak hour traffic as it just sends her crazy.
Today was also no exception for peak hour congestion, and Arlecchino was already on stand still for quite some time.
“I can’t believe this!” She said, “I’VE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR 40 FUCKING MINUTES!!!” As she smacks the steering wheel in frustration.
“I’ll be late.” She muttered twice, “I’m going to be late for work!”
“And if I’m late again, my stupid boss will be pissed!”
“I SWEAR, IF I GET FIRED AGAIN, I’LL KICK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR SCRAWNY BUMS!!!”
She then thought of something.
“Okay! Positive thinking! Must think positive!” She muttered. “At least Lyney is not with me.”
“I think I’ll put some music on.”
“That should help me deal with this nightmare.”
As Arlecchino pressed play, a song then came up.
“What is this crap?!” She yelled, “That’s not what I wanted to listen to!”
“This is Lyney’s stupid USB!”
She then yanked the USB and tossed it to the passenger seat.
“Now where’s the real shit?”
Arlecchino then searches the cupholders for the other USB.
“I found it!”
She then plugs the USB in and pressed play.
*TUNAK TUNAK TUN STARTS PLAYING*
“I like this song!”
Arlecchino then starts to sing to the song, poorly. Just then a noise disrupted her.
“FATHER!!!” Lyney shouted, leaving Arlecchino shocked.
“TURN THAT SHIT OFF!”
“You should know I fucking hate that song!”
“What the hell are you doing in the car?!” Arlecchino asked, “You’re supposed to be at school, damn it!!”
“You were supposed to drop me off, stupid!” Lyney replied.
“Well, isn’t that your mother’s job?!”
“Her car got a flat tyre! Remember?!”
“WHY THE HELL DOES THAT BITCH NEVER TELL ME THESE THINGS!!?!?!?!” Arlecchino screamed.
“She did, like, 7 times!” Lyney said.
“SHUT UP!” Arlecchino said loudly, provoking Lynette who was playing CoC next to Lyney.
“Will you keep it down?” Lynette demanded, “Let me play Clash of Clans in peace!”
“LYNETTE!??!!??!” Arlecchino then repeatedly smack the steering wheel, “YOU’RE IN THE GODDAMN CAR TOO!??!?!?”
“My bus driver was involved in a huge accident!” Lynette replied.
There was a brief silence, then Arlecchino muttered to herself.
“This is not my day…”
On the back side, Lyney and Lynette seemed more calm.
“Well, at least we’re not at school.”
“Yeah”
“THIS IS REALLY PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW!!!” Arleccino screamed.
“Calm down, father!” Lynette said.
“NO U!”
Just then, Lynette thought of something.
“I was thinking we could play a game to pass the time.”
“How the hell are we supposed to do that without a computer or XBOX or anything!?!?!?” Lyney said.
“No, retard! I mean like a guessing game or something.” Lynette replied
“That sounds gay as-”
“OH MY GOD! I LOVE THESE GAMES!” Arlecchino said in excitement.
“You would…” Lyney said before getting cut by Lynette, “Alright, what’s non-existent, but-”
“I know this one!” Lyney exclaimed, “Father’s sex life!”
“You’re such a moron, it’s unbelievable.” Lynette muttered.
“WHAT?!!??!” Lyney yelled.
“Well first off, I haven’t finished the question!”
“I change my mind! Guessing games suck!” Arlecchino said.
“Then you come up with something to do.” Lynette replied.
Half an hour later, Arlecchino starts to lose her temper.
“AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!”
“I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER!!!”
“RAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHGHG!!!”
“MOVE YOU DUMBSHITS!!!!!!”
“NOOOOOW!!!! NOW!!!!!”
“NOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!”
“I’m gonna get a heart attack!”
“No shit!” Lyney said while she was having a breakdown.
Arlecchino then briefly cried, before muttering to herself.
“Fuck it. It’s over.”
“I’m gonna be fired!” She cried again.
“Don't worry, father. You’re not gonna be fired.” Lynette said, “Your boss will understand.”
“You think so, Lynette?” Arlecchino replied.
“Yeah, I hope…”
Lyney bust out laughing, “You’re crying like a bitch!”
“SHUT UP!” Arlecchino shouted, “I’LL COME BACK THERE!”
“What is the meaning of my existence?” Freminet, who was quiet during the whole ride starts speaking.
“Oh great.” Arlecchino said, “I also have to take Freminet to a therapist!”
“Thanks a lot, Furina!”
“AS IF I’M NOT DOING ENOUGH SHIT FOR YOU ALREADY!”
“Yeah, because lying down on the sofa watching Demon Slayer all day is really helping mother out!” Lynette said.
“I’m glad it is!” Arlecchino replied.
“I was being sarcastic, goddamn it!” Lynette said loudly.
“I think the traffic is starting to clear!” Lyney said.
After the traffic had cleared, Arlecchino dropped Lyney and Lynette at school and dropped Freminet at a therapist. She arrived at the Fatui HQ hours later.
"Well, Peruere, it seems you are late again." Pierro said, "Care to explain why?"
“I was stuck in traffic!” Arlecchino said, “And after the traffic cleared, I had to drop off my stupid children!”
“Yeah? Well, Peruere, I’m sorry to say this but I’m going to have to let you go.”
“You mean I get to leave early?!?!” Arlecchino said in confusion, “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”
Pierro then cut her off, “No, I mean you’re being fired, and I’m sorry I mean fucking fired.”
Arlecchino then exclaimed, begging Pierro not to fire her.
“Please, sir! Please don’t fire me!” She begged, “I don’t even know what the fuck I did wrong!”
“Well, not only have you been late for the 28th time, but you have been caught vandalising work equipment and supplies, violently attacking other workers, shouting endless profanity and playing video games at your desk.” Pierro said, “And also, when I was checking your computer, I noticed that there is a lot of Focalors R34 downloaded on to it.
“Crap! I knew I shouldn’t have let Childe to use my computer!” Arlecchino said to herself.
“Peruere, last I checked no one used that computer apart from you.” Pierro replied.
“Oh, and that white stuff is not-”
“Nevermind that. You’re fired! Get out!” Pierro demanded.
There was a brief silence then...
“NYAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!” Arlecchino charged at Pierro and start to beat the shit out of him while he cries in pain, “FIRE ME WILL YOU, YOU PIERRO BITCH!!!!!!”
“YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!!”
“YOU… YOU…” She said, “YOU’RE THE WORST BOSS I’VE EVER HAD!!!”
==THE END==