The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office
The dragon poacher camp was like something out of one of Vex’s worst nightmares. Magical creatures in cages everywhere. Implements for skinning and other component extraction littered the tables. It was one of the worst parts of the job, seeing creatures treated in those way. The dragons were dead before they’d gotten here unfortunately. But the instruments of their death were still here. Several muggle guns had been found on the poachers.
Vax sighed,"I'm sorry it had to be like this... you deserved better." She looked through the weapons Knowing that they shouldn’t be there.
It was two rifles and a pistol. Vex knew about guns of course having been born to a muggle mother. But her experience didn’t go past seeing them used in movies at the cinema as Britten had very strict gun laws. Wizards didn’t usually bother with them at all. But these poachers had. And the runes embedded into the metal told her that there was some sort of enchantment at play here. She wasn't sure what to do about this. Sure she'd come across strange things before she wasn't sure how to handle this, it wasn’t even her department.
“Oy, Vessar.” Amos Diggery one of her higher ups called to her. “Find anything?”
"Yea, come check this out." She called back.
He hurried over as few others secured the captured poachers. “Oh. Are those guns?” He pick up the pistol and looked right down the barrel. “Why have these lying around?”
"Yea. But look at them. They are enchanted. They shouldn't be.” Vex knew that much at least. Most wizards didn’t even know what guns were let alone how to use them.
He looked closer. “You’re right about that. But that’s not our department. They’ll have to be taken down to the tinkerers in the muggle artifacts office for filing.” He got a little uncomfortable at that. Vex remembered that Amos’ son Cedric had died not two months ago in the tri wizard tournimant. The man had buried himself in work.
Vax nodded," I'll handle that part. I don't think I've ever seen this kind of weapon.“
“Feel free. If Arthur is down there give him my regards.” He said turning back to the dead dragon he sighed. “Such a waste…”
"I will and I know.. such beautiful creatures and they are reduced to this..” It made Vex feel sick. These dragons hadn’t even been near people. They hadn’t been a threat.
“Well… even we can’t bring back the dead. At the very least the hide and blood can be harvested legally now. We’ll be donating it.” Amos sighed.
"Yes, that's something at least.” Vex almost rolled her eyes remembering Vax’s old dragon hide boots.
“The live creatures will be nursed back to health and released as per usual of course.”
Vex saw the nearest cage was full of frightened moon calves. Their big eyes staring at them in fear.
"Of course. Vex moved to the moon calves. "It's alright now. You are ok now." She always had a way about her that calmed creatures. One of them went up to the bars. It had a collar. This was someone’s pet that the poachers had stolen. "Oh. I bet you miss your parent. Here, let me see if I can find where to take you." It easily let her see its collar. Luna was the name on the tag. On the back it read. ‘If lost return to Hannah Abbot, 3 Church street, Godric’s Hollow.’ "I'll get you home I promise." Vex spoke softly.
The other Moon calves all appeared to be wild so that was a plus. Among the other creatures were several Puffskiens, a hippogryph, two Thestrals, and a Kneazel. It was more injured creatures than they’d had to deal with in months. The thestrals were in the worst shape. Wizards didn’t trust them. Seeing them as bad omens because they could only be seen by people who had witnessed the death of another human. Vex had always loved them. She never blamed them or thought they deserved all the hate. It wasn't their fault.
"All of you are going to be ok." She promised. She always talked to the creatures. Felt she owed them an explanation.
One of the thestrals looked at her and bowed its head.
“You’ve always had a way with them.” Amos said. “I’m telling you. If I ever make head of department you’re getting a raise. Talent like yours you could talk down a dragon.”
Vex smiled at the creature and gave it a small bow in return before turning back to Amos.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
“I said you have a way with creatures.” He said. “They seem to just respect you in a way they don’t with other wizards and witches.”
"Oh. That's because I respect them." Vax spoke like it really was that simple.
Amos chuckled. “I’ll take your word for it. No matter how much I respect dragons one would sooner fry me than bow to me with such respect.”
"Oh the thestrals? They just want to be seen as they are. Not a symbol of something terrible.” Vex found them oddly comforting.
“I wish I could see it like you do…” Amos sighed. “I know they’re not dangerous of course but…” this man would rather have his son alive than be able to see these creatures.
"I know. It's hard. It took me a long time to be able to see past the reason I can see them and respect the creature." Vex spoke which was mostly true. In truth she never blamed the creature but seeing them hurt cause they were a reminder even though that wasn't their fault.
“I know… I just…” he sighed. “Need time. Go one and take these guns. We’ve got the rest of this covered. You can deliver this poor moon calf back to her owner when you get back to our office.”
"Alright." Vex nodded and grabbed the guns, hoping they weren’t loaded. They were heavy in her hands. Most wizards saw muggle weapons as crude but there was craftsmanship here. Maybe not to the subtle elegance of a wand or broomstick but it was there.Apparition was always the fastest way to get back to the ministry. Vex didn’t often do it but being in the middle of nowhere she didn’t have much choice. As always she was greeted by the brief uncomfortable sensation before reappearing in the atrium of the ministry of magic. Right at the feet of the fountain of magical brethren. The golden statues of the witch, wizard, goblin, house elf, and centaur there to greet her as always. Vex sighed. She did like this place at least most days. She stepped into the lift. She never realized the Magical Law Enforcement Office was on one of the lowest floors. Walking down the hall she nearly missed what she was looking for. The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office was essentially a glorified broom closet. The askew plague on the door wasn’t even embossed in gold like the rest of the department offices were. She opened the door hoping someone would be available to take the guns.
She was met by mountains of what could only be considered organized clutter. Boxes, books and scrolls were stacked one on top of the other obscuring any desks or people who might be working in this tiny, poor excuse for a department office. She’d heard the department was small, only having three wizards working in it but this was ridiculous.
"Um.. hello? Is anyone in here?“ Vex called into the clutter.
“Coming. Hold on a moment.” A few of the stacks were shifted out of the way revealing a young wizard. He had messy white hair and round glasses. He was wearing an old blue cloak and looked frazzled. “Yes?” He question.
"Are you by any chance Arthur?“ Vex asked.
“Afraid not. He’s out investigating a regurgitating toilet in Bethnal Green.” He pushed his glasses further up on his nose. “And Perkins is out for medical issues. It’s just me today.” He looked very young. Nearly fresh out of Hogwarts young.
Vex sighed. Of course she had to deal with the clearly new hire. "Oh. I see. Who might you be then?“
“Percival.” He said. “I’m sure I can handle whatever you have though. I didn’t get a muggle engineering degree for nothing.”
That was an odd boast. No wizard really bothered with muggle schooling.
"Ah well it's nice to meet you Percival. I'm Vex. I have a couple guns. I've not seen anything quite like this though, they seem to be enchanted somehow.“ Vex told him.
Percival’s eyes had absolutely lit up at the word gun. “Well then. You’re very lucky I’m the only one here. Let’s see them then.” He pulled out his wand. Vex recognized the wood as cypress. Vex pulled them out and carefully handed one over. Percival took it almost reverently. “Now then. Let’s see what you can do.” He tapped it with his wand. “Specialis reavelio.” And the barrel of the rifle glowed bright red. “Ah yes, a stunning enchantment. But crudely done.”
"What does it do?“ Vex asked watching the man work.
“Well a bullet fired from this gun will produce a similar effect as a stunning jinx of course.” Percy said. “But the crude nature of its enchantment won’t grantee that effect. Whoever did this had little idea of what they were actually doing.”
"Interesting. There is one other one.” She handed it to him.
Percy took the pistol and repeated the spell. His eyes widened as the gun glowed a bright green. “Well… that’s disturbing and redundant.”
"Care to share?“ Vex was confused and fascinated watching this man work now.
“This one is enchanted with the killing curse.” He explained. “Avada Kadavra…” it was a whisper. “I hope you have whoever did this in custody nonetheless. They’re dangerous if they can imbue a muggle item with an unforgivable curse.”
"We do. They are in custody as we speak. Should be here soon.” vex told him.
“Good.” Percival nodded and set the two guns on his desk. “I’ll get these filed and sent to storage to await destruction. Is there anything else I can help you with?” His white hair told Vex a lot about him. In wizards this young that only occurred with prolonged exposure to the torture curse. At least according to her old school books.
"No. I don't think so." Vex didn't want to push the man she just met.
“Alright. Could I get your full name for my report then?” He asked already getting parchment and quill ready.
"Oh of course, Vex'alia Vessar.”
“Well met Vex’ahlia.” He smiled holding out his hand to her. “You can call me Percy if you’d like. Everyone does.”
Vex shook his hand," well met Percy, you can call me Vex. Everyone else does.”
He smiled softly at that. “I hope to see you around then. Which department should I look for you in?”
"Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Beast division.”
His eyes darkened a little. “Oh…” he looked at the guns with disgust now. “What poor creature did these things kill? They’ll be put on the fast track for destruction whatever you say.”
"Dragons... they had many other creatures captured and severely injured.” Vex heart softened at his reaction.
Percy nodded. “I see. Thank you. These items will be dealt with. You have my word.”
“Thank you.” Vex was touched by how seriously he took this, even though he’d treated the weapons almost reverently at first.
He gave her another nod. “Sorry for the mess by the way. No one has seen fit to collect our filed items in weeks. No matter how many memos we send up.”
"That's insane. I'll see if I can't get something moving.” Vex looked around at the insane amount of boxes and books. There was barely room for the desks let alone to walk around.
“I doubt you could… we aren’t a priority. Even when we get items like this.” Percy gestured at the guns. “I’m the first person they’ve hired for this office in twenty years.”
“I’ll still try.” Vex told him.
“Thank you. I wish you best of luck.” Percy smiled at her. That smile was tired and overworked.
She nodded," I'll see what I can do. If not I have other ideas.”
“I’d like to hear them.” Percy said hefting a box out of the way with his wand only to conger another out of thin air for the guns to go in. His quill was in his hand as he started on the filing report.
"We take the boxes up ourselves.” Vex suggested.
Percy froze. “Oh. I couldn’t do that. More than this job’s worth to try. If any of the higher up staff caught us we’d both be in hot water.”
Vex was puzzled by his reaction. “Alright. If you say so.”
“It’s best if we just wait for them to remember we exist.” Percy said. “Besides. I wouldn’t want to get you into trouble as well.”
”I don’t really care about that.” Vex shrugged.
“Clearly you’ve never met the under secretary to the minister.” Percy chuckled. “That old toad could ruin your life if you so much as breathe wrong in her direction. Not to mention all the rich pure blood donors that like to hang around up there.”
”Ah I see.” Vex knew who he was talking about of course.
“Indeed. I’m not walking into that den of vipers if I can help it. I got enough mud blood insults throw my way at school to last a life time.” He shrugged.
"I know the feeling.” Vex sighed.
Percy blinked at her. “A Vessar understands? Isn’t your family on the sacred 28 list? Oldest pure blood families in Britten?”
"Probably.. but I'm not a pure blood and neither is my brother..” Vex told him.
Percy nodded. “I see. So you aren’t related to the new head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation then?”
That had been a bit of a nightmare to see on their morning paper. Their father taking the top job in his department.
"I am. He's my father.“ Vex nodded.
“Then I offer condolences. He’s rather unpleasant.” Percy said which made Vex smile.
”You have no idea.”
“Reminded me of the boys I shared my dorm with at school. Pure blood mania.” Percy rolled his eyes and signed his report. “Shame I can’t study these further. They’re fascinating.”
"He's a nightmare. Honestly.” Vex said watching him set the guns into boxes.
“I believe you.” Percy said. “I’m all for verbally bashing the ignorant.”
Vex laughed lightly," we will get along just fine."
“That we will.” Percy nodded. “I’ll look for you in the cafeteria if I ever get out from under this mountain of parchment.”
"That sounds wonderful.” Vex was surprised how easy it was to talk to him.
“I look forward to it then.” Percy nodded.
”I’ll be there.” Vex told him.
“Look for my owl then.” Percy said. He rolled up his report and taped it to the box he’d put the guns in. By now there were several new boxes right outside the door. “Of course… I’d better take care of those.”
“Here I’ll help you.” Vex said picking up one of them and bringing it into the cluttered room.
“What? No. You have your own work.” Percy picked up the other boxes his wand between his teeth. “I’m sure your department head wouldn’t be happy that you’re down here in our little broom closet.”
"I don't understand why they are making you keep all of this stuff here.” Vex said nearly backing into a stack of boxes.
“They’re supposed to come get it and take it down to the furnaces. But they hardly ever do.” Percy shrugged. “It’s been about a month since they last did that.” Percy opened up the second box. “Oh dear.”
“What is it?” Vex asked seeing the expression on his face.
“Maybe back up a few paces.” Percy told her.
“Alright?” Vex backed up as far as the room would allow. Percy pulled a common muggle toaster out of the box like it was radio active. "A toaster? Is it enchanted?“
“Very much. We’ve gotten several of these over the last few weeks.” He pulled out his wand again. Carefully he tapped it to try the revealing spell again. The toaster glowed like hot metal and began to shake violently. “Shit. Get down!” Vex dived to the floor her hands over her head. A small explosion went off and they were showered with burning parchment and smoldering cardboard. “Portatgo!” Percy’s shield charm kept them safe from most of the damage.
"What the hell.. why would someone enchant a toaster with that spell?” Vex gaped at the damage.
“Muggle baiting.” Percy helped her stand. “It’s what some wizards do for fun. Sell them enchanted items and sit back and watch. Last time it was a whole tea set. I had those sugar tongs clamped on my nose for a whole day. My sister would not stop laughing. But it’s cruel really.”
"Yea. I'd say so.“ Vex muttered dusting herself off.
“Sorry about that. I wasn’t expecting such violent reaction.” Percy dusted himself off looking around the wrecked office. He went to a poster on the wall. ‘2 days since last incident’. He put the number down to 0.
Vex laughed," its alright. I'll help you clean up.”
“That would be nice.” Percy sighed. “You take this side I’ll do the other?”
"Of course.” Vex pulled out her own wand.
Percy nodded and turned to one side. “Repairo.” The papers, boxes, and shattered desk started to put themselves back together. Vex copied the spell until the room was back to its former state of clutter. “Thank you.” Percy smiled. “I really should get to work filing the rest of this though. I’ll see you around.” It really was a mountain of work.
"Alright. I'll see you around." Vex nodded and started back up to her department. When the door closed the office somehow seemed sadder. It really was Tiny, and all the way down at the bottom level. She looked at the sad little crooked placard and tried to straighten it so it would at least sit on the door properly. She sighed when it swung back to its former position. Percy had said there was no point in trying to make it better. Vex hoped he was wrong.