Prefects
Something felt different at Hogwarts that year. The tension between Gryffindor and Slytherin had reached new heights, and if Lily hadn’t already been sure Snape was a death eater, she was now. Although when they were at home, he had apologised profusely, now he seemed cold and distant, sat at the Slytherin table, surrounded by Mulciber and his gang of bullies. But they weren’t just bullies anymore, like they had been even a year ago, they were dark wizards. Lily wondered if they already had the mark.
When Lily and her friends walked past the Slytherin table, she made eye contact with Snape. He stared back at her coldly, different from even on the train. She didn’t understand how he could act like a completely different person at school, compared to when it was just the two of them.
Lily sat next to Marlene and Remus at the Gryffindor table ready for the welcoming feast. They all had to sit through the sorting ceremony, which to Lily seemed to get longer and more boring each year. They ate together, talking and laughing like normal, but there was an awkwardness hanging over them, due to Sirius and Remus not talking, and straight up not even looking at each other. Mary had tried to ask what was going on, but James had shut her down before she could even finish the question. Lily might not have liked him very much, but she had always admired how much he loved his friends and protected them fiercely.
“God, I missed the food here.” Marlene said happily, resting her head on Lily’s shoulder.
“Ewww, get away from me” Lily joked, shoving her away, and turning to Remus. “We should go.”
Marlene frowned at her. “Where are you going?”
“Prefect duty”
“Ugh can’t you leave that to the fifth years?”
“Yeah,” Mary chimed in, “I think you deserve a break, Lils. After all, you got Outstanding on all your OWLs.”
Lily blushed. “Not true. I got Exceeds Expectations in Ancient Runes.”
Mary pretended to faint on to Sirius. “How will you survive?”
Lily flipped her off, and stood up, pulling Remus up with her and dragging him away by his hand.
“Hey! Wait for me!” She heard from behind her, and Lily only walked faster, but James caught up quickly, damn his athletic ability.
The three of them, along with some 7th years, led the first years up to Gryffindor tower, as the fifth year prefects were tasked with making sure everyone else got there safely. Lily watched as the 11-year-olds stood with their mouths open in shock at the moving staircases, the talking paintings. It made her think of herself at that age, unable to believe that magic was real.
“Merlin, I missed this place,” James said happily, skipping happily down the corridor. They were almost at Gryffindor Tower. Lily just rolled her eyes at his exaggerated happiness, until the first years started running and skipping after him.
“No! Stop!” Lily shouted, running after them. But she was laughing, and it didn’t matter anyway, they had almost arrived at the fat lady.
“Leonis Virtus” Remus said when they did, and the portrait swung open. Lily looked to James, who was grinning, his face flushed from running. She tried not to stare. They ushered all the new students into the common room and split them into boys and girls. She had to assign the girl’s dorms by herself, and she had forgotten how annoying 11-year-olds could be. By the end of it, she was exhausted. She climbed up the stairs to her own room to find Mary and Marlene waiting, lying on Mary’s bed together on their stomachs, side by side.
“Lily!” Marlene shouted as she walked through the door, but Lily just went to her own bed and flopped down onto it, groaning into her pillow. Her two dormmates burst into a fit of giggles and climbed from Mary’s bed onto Lily’s with her.
“Tough day at work?” Mary asked, her mouth right next to Lily’s ear, making her shiver.
“Get off me!” She said, pushing them both off jokingly, and they all ended up on the floor together.
“I missed you guys.” Lily admitted and hugged both of her best friends.
It wasn’t long until the other two girls were recounting their whole summer to Lily, and Lily remembered something.
“Tell me about your new boyfriend!” She exclaimed, grabbing Mary’s arm.
Mary giggled. “Well, he’s tall, and he knows like everything about music, and he’s already seventeen. We basically spent the whole summer together after we came home from Greece.” She said wistfully.
Lily nudged her. “Is that it? Tell me more!” She looked over to Marlene, expecting her to join in but she was looking down at the carpet, her brow furrowed.
Mary sighed, twirling a curl around her finger.
“Well, I don’t know how long it will last, because he said he hates sending letters, and there’s no bloody phones at this school.”
Lily exhaled, and rolled away from them onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. She took a deep breath, finally content. She was home.
“What about you, Marls?” Lily asked turning her head to look at her friend.
“What?” Marlene asked quickly, turning her gaze away from Mary.
“What were you doing while Mary was with Dexter?”
“Oh, not a lot,” Marlene said, lying on her back and looking at the ceiling. “I read Little Women.”
“You did?” Lily sat straight up. It was her favourite book, and she had been telling Marlene to read it for ages.
“Yeah. Jo was my favourite.”
Lily grinned. She knew Marlene would like Jo.
Thursday, September 2nd, 1976
They didn’t start lessons until the next week, and had both Thursday and Friday off to explore the castle and catch up with their friends before term began. Lily spent most of her time during those two days down at the lake, sat with Mary and Marlene and sometimes some of Mary’s other friends. It was Thursday afternoon, and Lily, Mary, Marlene were sat with Emmeline Vance, a Ravenclaw girl from their year who Lily didn’t like very much, but she was friends with Mary, so she tolerated her, and Amelia Bones, a Hufflepuff girl who Lily had always thought was very sweet.
Remus was also sat with them, the rest of the marauders positioned far enough away on the lawn that Remus wouldn’t get angry with them, but close enough to be weird. Sirius was basically glaring at them, and Lily could tell James was getting frustrated with him. She couldn’t imagine having to be around that amount of... intensity all summer. Everybody was curious - Mary had begged Lily to tell her what had happened between the two boys, but Lily had promised Remus she wouldn’t breathe a word, and she always kept her promises. Even Emmeline and Amelia could tell something was off, and they weren’t even friends with the marauders.
Remus and Lily were helping everyone finish off their summer homework, but Lily didn’t mind. Remus was better at it than her anyways, he had a way of explaining things to people that made them always understand it.
Lily had been worried about him, since they had come back to Hogwarts. He didn’t seem like his usual self.
Lily was bent over Amelia’s charms essay with her when Sirius came over.
“Moony?”
Lily saw Remus stiffen at the name.
“Don’t call me that.” His voice was cold. Lily felt a burst of love for him, and anger at Sirius. All the girls were looking up at Sirius too, and Mary seemed curious.
“Can we talk?”
Remus said nothing.
“Can we go somewhere else? Please?” He said, quieter, aware of their audience. Remus just shook his head, still not looking at the other boy.
Sirius knelt next to Remus on the grass, and was talking to him, quietly so Lily couldn’t hear. Remus kept his gaze fixed on the floor, his stony expression not changing. Eventually he shook his head and said something to Sirius before standing up and walking away. Sirius deflated, putting his head in his hands.
The other girls had lost interest, continuing their conversations, but Lily hadn’t. She watched as Remus walked away and thought he probably didn’t want to be followed. James and Peter had left their spot on the grass, they had obviously only been there for Sirius’s benefit, and were walking towards the Quidditch pitch.
Lily was sick of this, their friend group being torn apart by Sirius’s stupid mistake, so she went to sit by him, thinking maybe she could help him fix it. Marlene gave her a funny look, but Lily didn’t care.
“Hey” she said softly, and nudged him with her elbow. Sirius looked up, and his grey eyes were ringed with red.
“Sorry,” he murmured, wiping his nose.
“You want to talk about it?” Lily asked.
Sirius considered her for a moment, and then looked around at the girls, who were now laughing loudly about something, seemingly oblivious.
“C’mon” Lily said, and stood up. Sirius followed her, and together they started to walk around the lake together. They walked in silence for a while, and Lily knew Sirius was crying by his sniffling noises.
“What are you doing, Sirius?” Lily asked when she was sure he had stopped, looking him straight in the eye. Sirius looked shocked at her bluntness. He pushed his hair out of his eyes, it’d gotten long over the summer.
“I don’t know! Remus... he won’t even listen to me” Sirius frowned.
“Don’t you think he has the right? What you did was horrible, Sirius. Remus...” Lily thought about their conversation on the train, “he was really hurt by it.”
Sirius hung his head.
“But I’ve apologised so many times, I just... I don’t know what else he wants from me, y’know”
“I think he needs space. He’s not... ready yet, and you can’t blame him for that.”
“He had the whole summer!” Sirius’s eyes were wide, like he was begging her. “I miss him, Evans.”
“I know,” Lily said, and they both stopped walking. Lily wanted to hug him, but she didn’t know how he’d react. She looked back and realised the others had gone from their spot on the lake.
“Maybe we should go back, for dinner.”
“Oh. Yeah, okay.” There was a pause. “Look, do you think you could try and talk to Remus? I don’t know what else to do.”
Lily paused. She didn’t know what the right thing was to do.
“I’ll talk to him. But I can’t promise anything.” She said finally, and Sirius let out a breath of relief.
“Thank you, Lily.”
Lily couldn’t remember the last time he had called her by her first name, and what was even more shocking was that he hugged her, hard and fast. Afterwards, they walked back to the great hall in companiable silence.
...
The prefects had to patrol the corridors after curfew, and Lily had ended up scheduled with James for that night. She met him outside the common room, and they had to walk a circle around their area of the school for an hour.
“Evans! How are you this fine evening?” James exclaimed when she arrived, that stupid grin plastered across his face.
“Potter, I’m really not in the mood.” She replied, tired from her conversation with Sirius, hating how the year was going so far.
“Not you as well, I’m sick of hanging around with those grumpy gits.” James said, disappointed. Lily felt a pang of guilt. It can’t have been easy for James, when two of his best friends wouldn’t even speak to each other. They walked for a few seconds in silence.
“How are you finding being a prefect?” Lily asked, when she couldn’t bear the silence any longer.
“Oh. I guess it’s okay. Loads of stuff to do, though,” James said, and he looked lost in thought. “I guess it looks good if I wanna work at the ministry.”
Lily nodded, but to be honest she hadn’t really given much thought to her life after Hogwarts. It scared her a bit, what with the war and everything, and as a muggleborn she hadn’t been taught very much about the job prospects for wizards.
“Look, Lily I wanted to um,” James cleared his throat, “say something.”
Lily looked at him, confused. “...Okay?”
“Okay, well, I... I’m sorry.” James was looking her straight in the eye, and Lily was vaguely aware of the fact that they had stopped walking, and were just stood still in the corridor.
“For what?” Lily asked, her brain jumping to conclusions. What has he done?
“Just, you know, me being a bit of a prick, last year. Well, also the entire time I’ve known you. But especially last year.”
“Oh.” Lily’s brain was working a mile a minute, trying to understand. James was still looking at her, like he was expecting something. Forgiveness, a voice at the back of her mind told her. That’s when she came to her senses.
“It’s not me you should be apologising to though, is it?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, uncertainty in his eyes.
“Well, Severus was the one who you were ‘a bit of a prick’ to.” Lily said, holding up air quotes.
“Why would I apologise to him?” James asked incredulously.
Lily almost laughed. “I don’t know, maybe because you bullied him.” She turned and started walking away, back towards Gryffindor tower, but James only followed her.
“I didn’t bully him. He started it.”
“What are you, seven?” She snapped. James stopped in his tracks for a second, seemingly offended, before running to catch up with her again.
“Why are you defending him? Do you not remember what he said to you?”
Lily wanted to scream. She couldn’t take this anymore, couldn’t watch everybody call her stupid for “defending” Severus. They didn’t know what it was like, watching your best friend draw away from you, seeing him being abused by his own family.
“Of course I remember, Potter.” She spat, turning back to look at him. “But things aren’t always so black and white.”
“What do you mean?” He asked, shaking his head.
“I mean that just because he was wrong, doesn’t mean you were right. And... not everyone is as lucky as you are, Potter. Not everyone has money, and a loving family, and friends they can always talk to, okay?” Lily looked at him for a moment before turning away. He was just standing there like an idiot, his mouth half open, finally speechless. Lily basically ran away, and managed to get back to her dorm room before the tears came.