17 years old
Remus never thought he would get to this age. There had been so many times that he thought he would drown in the pain that had defined his life. He was here on the eve on his 17th birthday though; perhaps that said something about his character. Remus could not claim complete credit.He had a few special people who believed in him when even he didn't and they helped him to battle on. He was in a good place now - as good as he could remember anyway. Maybe he had been happier as child when he pretended to be a Healer, but those memories had basically faded into nothing now.
He smiled when he thought about his friends - they always made him smile. Sirius always made him smile. Sirius was the person above all others that made him feel alive and, more importantly, happy to be alive. Sirius was his rock. He had known from the first time they met that the bond they shared was special. It took both of them a long time to figure out what that bond meant though. Remus couldn't help but grin like an idiot with butterflies in his stomach as he thought about the first time they had said ‘I love you' to each other.
"Are you thinking about me? You're smiling!" Sirius said as he came bouncing into the dormitory. Remus tried not to smile as he put the book he was pretending to read down to look at Sirius' handsome face which was alive with his trademark grin.
"Don't flatter yourself, Black!" Remus quipped. Remus knew Sirius well enough to know that his ego didn't need feeding any further but he always admired Sirius' confidence.
"He is totally thinking about you Padfoot, he's got that dreamy look and his Sirius smile on!" James declared, coming into the dormitory directly behind. He was grinning from ear to ear. They were suspiciously happy today - it meant they were up to something.
His ‘Sirius' smile was something James had taken to teasing Remus about. James claimed it was the type of smile that he got when he was thinking about Sirius. Remus wasn't so sure but he liked James teasing him like he would any other subject matter. The dormitory had become a bit of a sanctuary as both James and Peter knew about them. It was a place to be totally himself. He loved that.
"I was thinking about my birthday, in fact!" he protested as he threw a pillow at James,who ducked so the pillow went sailing towards the door. He was thinking about his birthday was partly true, it was mostly true in fact.
Remus had no idea that they had planned, he had noticed a lot more secretive talks between the three others. He had to remind himself not get paranoid about it at first. He wasn't great with surprises but James had the annoying habit of tapping his nose whenever he caught the three talking quietly together. Remus wasn't even sure what he wanted for his birthday; he just wanted to spend the day with Sirius, alone time. At Sirius' birthday, they had a huge party in the common room on the weekend after. On his real birthday, it was just them. James and Peter agreed to disappear. He loved his other friends but being alone with Sirius was special, something he wanted to do forever.
"He wants to know our top secret plan," James smirked. No wonder Lily couldn't stand him when he smirked like that, Remus thought. Remus hated to admit it but he did want to know. He didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that though. He would know tomorrow though, he could wait until tomorrow...
"Talking of that.. we need to do... that thing Prongs," Sirius said, turning to James to give him a look. Sometimes Remus thought that those two had their own language, their impressive ability to have seeming conversations with their minds. Remus might have been jealous of their bond but he knew it was nothing but brotherly.
James grabbed something out of his trunk - the Invisibility Cloak, Remus suspected - before making their speedy exit from the dormitory with mysterious grins painted on their faces. What were they up to?
*
He couldn't help but love him, he knew that it wasn't a choice though. At first, he had been so scared, but something that felt so right could never be a bad thing. Remus was the first person that he ever opened up to about his family issues - before James, before anyone.
Sirius knew he loved him when Remus' pain hurt him more than his own. He had made it his mission to make sure that Remus had a good birthday. He had been working on the surprise for months with the help of James (and Peter, who distracted Remus with tutoring requests). The War was coming he knew, the world getting darker by the day.
Sirius needed to push the focus on the present and enjoying each moment. They reached their destination; to a passer-by it might look like they were enjoying the tapestry of ballet dancing trolls but they were waiting for a doorknob to appear so they could enter.
"You really love him, don't you?" James asked after a moment of them together in silence. Sirius and James rarely did silent in each other's company however it was normally a comfortable one if they did. James knew Sirius well enough to know when he had something on his mind.
James had been accepting, supporting and even encouraging of his relationship with Remus but he had never directly asked about it. James was right though - he really did love Remus, but he knew their love was never going to be simple. Sirius had never spoken about his relationship with Remus with the others before. Sirius was happy that Remus knew how he felt. Sirius was familiar with keeping his feelings on the inside, but never when they were such positive ones.
"I do," he said finally. He wanted to add something else though. He racked his brain, trying to think of a way for James to understand just how much. "We both have a lot of demons and when we're together, we slay them for fun. Everything's just better with him"
"You're both really lucky to have each other," James commented after another pause. Sirius just smiled. He was lucky; he had let someone see the real him and they had liked it, stayed and loved him for it.
"You would have Lily if you weren't such a prat you know!" Sirius laughed. After tonight his next mission was to get them together. If he deserved happiness then James most certainly did.
"So how are we going to get this to the Astronomy Tower then?" James mused looking at the large object that filled the room.
*
It was nearly midnight as the light from the half moon streamed in through a nearby window as they passed by. Remus and Sirius were wandering the halls together, not for the first time. Sirius had found himself to be quite nervous about the situation, which was unusual for him. He had told Remus that he loved him before tonight but something about showing someone how much through actions was different. Everyone always said that actions spoke louder than words.
"Why are we going to the Astronomy Tower?" Remus asked in a whisper after a while. When they used the Invisibility Cloak, Remus seem to be only one who ever remembered that people could still hear them under it.
"How do you know we're going there?" Sirius asked.
"I've been to the Astronomy Tower with you too many times before not to know the way by now," Remus said with a wicked grin. He caught his eye and Sirius suppressed a laugh, instead lacing his fingers through Remus'.
"Just keep walking Lupin," he whispered back as he gave his hand a squeeze.
When they finally reached the top of the stairs, Remus was shocked to find a huge shiny black motorbike waiting for them. It was not what he had expected, yet Sirius did something to surprise him nearly every day. Remus was not a fan of flying; sometimes he hated himself for fearing something so silly, but heights made him freeze up. The future that Sirius had planned seemed to involve him flying all over the world, and sometimes Remus wondered where he would fit into this version of the future. Lately, all Sirius had talked about was a world without the darkness that had started to press in on them.
"So let me explain. So I know you hate flying, but I wanted to show you that it won't stop us doing things and going places. I want us to have adventures on this motorbike. It's a smoother ride and you'll be safe," Sirius explained, looking hopeful. "I found it when I went to clear out my Uncle's stuff after he died. I've been restoring it with James. I guess he hadn't used it in years"
It was a lot for Remus to take in; he was touched by the gesture. He knew this was Sirius' way to show him that he was included in his future. Remus was never sure what type of future he would be able to offer Sirius. It really got him down but Sirius was smart and handsome - he could have chosen anyone to spend his life with but here he was choosing Remus.
"I love it."
"The war is coming Remus. I can't promise you forever but I promise every day I have. I know you don't like to fly, but we might not have that long, so tonight will you come on an adventure with me?"
Remus loved the way Sirius' hair fall around his face so gracefully; it just suited him. He went to brush a strand of his black hair out of his grey eyes that sparkled so brightly as he stared into them with his warm hazel ones. Remus felt Sirius almost shiver at the gesture though Remus knew it wasn't because he was cold. Remus cupped his face gently and brought him into a kiss. Suddenly, the idea of being flying didn't feel so scary: Sirius made him feel so high already. He felt like he could take on anything right now.
"Sirius, you are the light within my darkness. I'll fly with you tonight," he said, Sirius face split into a mischievous smile as he happily climbed into the driver's seat. He turned to Remus, his eyes so alive with happiness and, more importantly hope. He held out his hand for Remus to climb aboard too. He took Sirius' hand and swung his leg over the motorbike. Sirius was right; they would never be able to predict the future, but they could enjoy tonight.
"Happy Birthday Remus!" Sirius yelled as he revved up the engine as the motorbike roared into life.