Like a Moth to Flame

The walk down the hall from his bedroom to his brother’s should not feel so long. It was a path well worn through years of muscle memory and while his legs may be rusty from it they did not forget. Still, the journey from his bedroom to Sirius’s was miles longer than it used to be. Everything had felt longer this summer, though. Regulus had grown to love the quiet, but his childhood home had become entirely too still. Dust accumulated quicker, conversations were shorter, Regulus spent a lot of time in his bedroom trying not to pay attention to what was happening behind closed doors.

Sirius’s door was closed. It was always closed, but not locked. Sirius didn’t deserve that much privacy according to mother. The atmosphere of the top floor was more frigid, Regulus could feel the chill emanating from the room. He couldn’t yet tell if it was physical or psychological. There was a lot of energy behind it. Regulus raised his hand up to level with his face before knocking three short knocks. There was no response, but Regulus wasn’t expecting one. Sirius hadn’t spoken since his little outburst at Cissy’s birthday. Regulus hadn’t seen much of him since then. Regulus counted to ten, took a deep breath, and turned the doorknob to open it.

The air was stale and dense. Regulus could see particles floating through the air in the cracks of light that the curtains allowed. The room was barren, too. His shelves were stripped of their belongings, the bed only allowed for a set of sheets and a thin blanket, his pajamas mere rags, the posters that could be removed from the walls had been, even his rug had been taken from under his bed. Something smelled putrid: moldy and festering.

“It smells horrible in here.” Regulus was aghast that anyone would be allowed to live under these conditions, that his mother would even allow conditions like this in her house.

The windows were only a few steps way from Regulus’s position in the doorway. Perhaps Sirius hadn’t realized how horrible it was in here, if all he does is lay in bed. Regulus tried his hardest to open the windows and let in some ventilation, some fresh air but his efforts were not rewarded. The windows were stuck shut. They hadn’t always been like that.

“What the-why don’t these open?!” When Regulus turned around he was met with that notorious Sirius Black smirk. His brother didn’t talk, but he could communicate. He way he mimed himself jumping out the window with such a smile made Regulus’s gut churn. Had Sirius wanted to do that? Was that what him and the doctor had been working on? All Regulus was ever told was His mind is sick and This is our last shot at getting him the help he needs. Regulus tried not to ask too many questions, but he couldn’t help but worry about his brother. The laugh that escaped Sirius was even more unsettling. He was scary when he didn’t make a sound, but when that frayed laughter was all he could hear in the dark, dense room, Regulus wanted nothing more than to escape it.

Back to the job at hand. Regulus stepped away from the window and positioned himself at the foot of his brother’s bed.

“You need to shower, now.”

Ugh, why? Sirius’s voice was loud and clear and full of just as much sass as Regulus had expected. Except, Sirius’s mouth hadn’t moved. Sirius didn’t talk anymore.

“Mum wants you at dinner tonight.” While Sirius’s eyes were staring at Regulus, the younger has never seen his brother look more distant. Despite this being perhaps the most intimate moment they’ve had in years, Sirius had never seemed so far away. He was paler than he should be, and thinner too. There are bruises under his skin and shadows where his eyes should be. It seemed miraculous that he was upright and communicating with Regulus right now. It’s the most he’s seen of Sirius in a while. “It’s good to see you’re alive.”

His tone had come off less sincere than he’d meant for it to, Regulus reflected upon after saying it, but there was no time to waste worrying about that. They didn’t have all the time in the world, Regulus needed to get Sirius moving. He grabbed the few sheets Sirius had and ripped them from the other.

“Dinner is in two hours. You need to be ready by then.”

Regulus stood patiently as he watched his brother whine and groan and shuffle out of bed. It was strange, Regulus thought. He hadn’t seen Sirius walk in weeks. Perhaps Sirius hadn’t walked in weeks, with the way he shuffled and leaned against the wall. It wasn’t his usual overconfident swagger, his heels didn’t tap annoyingly against the floor. He shuffled, he hobbled, there was no confidence left: Sirius was doing his best just to put one foot in front of the other.

It was a sad sight, a scary sight. He hadn’t known someone could get so sick so quickly. It seemed the doctor wasn’t able to help how they’d hoped, Sirius looked halfway in the grave. The hissing and clanging of the old pipes helped stir Regulus out of his thoughts. Sirius had gone in alone, Regulus knew there was no towel or robe waiting for him. He was quick to grab Sirius his things. There were no spare towels in Sirius’s room but the robe was tucked away with the towels in the linen closet. Regulus made his way down the hallway and knocked once more.

“You forgot your towel, and a robe.” Regulus said as the door opened a crack for him. He tried not to stare as his brother took the items and turned. The flash of red was what alarmed him. Regulus only got a second to look, but he could see some sort of open wound along Sirius’s back. What in the hell was happening?.

Regulus hurried back to his room where he rang for Kreacher far too many times. His hand was shaking, he needed to get himself under control. Regulus pinched himself, he took a deep breath, he tried not to look scared when the house elf approached his door.

“You rang, Master Regulus?”

“I did. I need you to bring up a glass of water, a-and something easy to eat. Toast. And a fruit, any fruit will do. We have fruit in, don’t we?”

“Of course we do.” Kreacher responded.

“Good. Then make sure to grab one.”

“Is that all, Sir?”

Regulus nodded, but he changed his mind before Kreacher could get too far away. “Kreacher?” his voice wavered, how unproper.

“Yes, my lord?”

He couldn’t turn to face his servant. He didn’t want to see the look on his face when the question was asked, it would be answering too many questions and Regulus was not supposed to be asking questions.

“What do you know of my brother’s injuries?”

The silence weighed heavy on both individuals’ chests. Regulus was almost certain he could hear his own heartbeat, but he wouldn’t allow it to show on his face. He was more practiced than that. His composure was everything he had, it’s what kept him safe.

“I know not what to say.” Kreacher eventually replied.

“But you do know of them?” Regulus replied. He turned and busied himself with rummaging through his wardrobe to see what could be used for tonight. Keeping busy was the best way to remain composed when discussing a difficult topic.

“Yes.”

Regulus nodded. “Do you know who inflicted them?” Regulus asked next as he inspected a pair of his socks.

“Yes, Sir.” The tension in the room had not eased.

“Is that information you are allowed to share with me?” Here he was, asking questions. Regulus could have made his own inferences, sure, but inferences weren’t knowledge. He knew it may be safer to stay in the dark, but if Sirius was ill, if this was a fate that could be possible for Regulus’s future, he needed to know so that he could keep himself safe.

“No, I can not.” Kreacher replied after a significant pause.

Regulus figured it would be as such. Perhaps that was for the better that he not know. Regulus swallowed down his feelings and laid out socks for him and Sirius.

“Can you mend his wounds?”

Kreacher looked hesitant. His face faltered, he started to say something and caught himself multiple times. He sighed. “To an extent.”

Regulus nodded. To an extent was better than no, and Regulus had been prepared to hear no.

“Very good. Make sure they’re attended to, then have him come here and I’ll finish getting him ready.”

“Is that all, Sir?” Kreacher asked as he accepted his orders. Regulus nodded.

“Thank you Kreacher, that will be all.”

The room smelled horrible. Regulus didn’t understand why the room smelled as it did other than the fact he had no air circulation. The sheets were not soiled, there was no visible mess. Regulus did not go in search for the source of the stench, he went in search of clothing, but when he opened Sirius’s wardrobe he was greeted with the former. Trays of food lay piling up in the empty armoire, each of them with the same meal in varying degrees of decay. On the bottom layers, mold grew over stale bread and bugs crawled from unrecognizable bowls of porridge. The top layers had yet to mold, but flies buzzed around it threateningly. Regulus gagged as he stepped away from the mess. Sirius would just borrow his clothes, that was fine. They were close enough in size that Regulus could make it work. Regulus closed the armoire and hurried back to his bedroom to arrange their attire for the evening.

“The food you wanted was for Master Sirius?” Kreacher was faking his surprise, Regulus could tell. It’s to save himself punishment for breaking orders, no doubt. He had to know that Regulus didn’t want the items for himself, but he had been the one to teach Regulus not to ask so many questions.

Regulus sighed as he laid out undergarments for Sirius to wear. He’d taken the food he’d ordered and placed it on Sirius’s nightstand and ignored the house elf’s comment.

“Make sure he puts these on before coming over.”

Kreacher nodded.

“His meals are rotting away in the armoire, Kreacher.” Cold fury hid behind his monotone words. “Make sure you see to cleaning it up, and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

It wasn’t Kreachers fault, not entirely, but he was the easiest to blame right now. The house elf nodded, continuing on with his work. Regulus returned to his room, opened his window, and began arranging his vanity.

The sound of the pipes turning off and the bathroom door opening roused Regulus from his memory. His vanity was mostly set up with all the necessary items, all he had to do was set up a chair for Sirius. One with a back, so Sirius could lean if he needed to. He didn’t seem to have much core strength. He didn’t seem to have much strength at all.

Regulus padded down the hallway again, leaning in the doorway as quietly as he could to not disturb Sirius as he realized the other was eating. He looked happy as he ate. Regulus didn’t want to startle him and have him stop. He waited until his brother was finished eating to knock.

“Kreacher will be up in a minute to…..help you.” He kept himself from talking about the injuries Regulus had seen. Regulus was fine with healing magic, he could have tended to Sirius’s wounds, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to acknowledge them, to acknowledge just how far from helping they had gotten. To know that this was, largely in part, his fault. “Then you’ll come to my room and I’ll help you get ready.”

Regulus walked back off down the hall and towards his bedroom. He arranged his vanity, then he rearranged it. He looked over the outfits he had picked for them, he thought about how he’d do Siruis’s hair. He thought about his mother.

This was just as much of a test for Regulus as it was for Sirius. Regulus had to show that Sirius could make progress, or else he didn’t know what would happen to them. If Sirius wasn’t fit to be part of the family, then his responsibilities would fall to Regulus. It already seemed they may be preparing for that anyway.

His brother stood in the door frame like a ghost. Regulus tried not to look surprised by it. “Come, sit.” Regulus motioned for the chair. Sirius looked like he needed it, his balance was barely stable. Regulus held a hand out towards Sirius, offering some stability for him, but he went wholly ignored.

“You didn’t dry your hair.” Regulus noted. He was doing his best to be conversational. Sirius seemed much less alert than he had earlier. That scared Regulus. They had to preform well tonight, he couldn’t start regressing now. Regulus helped his brother sit forward and wrapped his hair in the towel he’d warmed. Sirius’s room was so frigid. He had no idea why it was so cold.

“Well then.” Regulus said once Sirius was sitting upright. “Was your shower nice?” Regulus wondered when the last time his brother had showered was. He wondered who was responsible for taking care of him, if anybody really was.

Sirius shrugged in response. That meant he could at least hear Regulus. He could hear and he responded. It was something, it was progress.

“I see Kreacher treated your wounds. Got you dressed. Did you thank him?”

Sirius flinched. Regulus hadn’t even gotten close to him yet. They must have hurt. Sirius shrugged again. Regulus should have known he wouldn’t have thanked the house elf, Sirius didn’t talk.

“Of course you didn’t.” Regulus gently pushed his brother forward again, taking his hair out of the towel to see what they had to work with. “I’ll thank him for you, I suppose.”

Sirius didn’t speak. It was so silent Regulus almost wondered if the person sitting in front of him was still his brother. His entire life, Sirius had been synonymous with noise, rambunctiousness, and chaos. The figure before him was a statue. A wet, dripping sack of flesh, dull behind the eyes. Was this the progress they wanted from him?

Focus on the task at hand, Regulus. Regulus returned to reality as he was assaulted by drops of water spraying at him. Sirius was shaking his hair out like a dog. Gross he thought, but only briefly.

Regulus turned to his dresser and found a brush. It was silver, with their family’s crest plated in gold on the back. An heirloom, one he was appreciative to have. He hoped that it did not hurt Sirius as he worked on detangling Sirius’s hair. Regulus’s hair had started to grow out this year too. It felt almost rebellious, though the longest parts of his hair barely touched his chin. Sirius had grown his down to his shoulders. Mum had tried cutting it off earlier this summer, she’d tried shaving down his sides and giving him short hair all prim and proper. When they woke up the next day, Sirius's hair was down past his ass.

That was the day Mum took away Sirius’s wand.

Shoulder length was a compromise they seemed to settle on. Sirius’s hair was choppy still and uneven towards the ends, parts of them so tangled that Regulus had to trim them off. It didn’t go unnoticed the way that Sirius flinched as Regulus brought the scissors out, neither did the way his shoulder bone protruded more than normal, or how his arms were looking rather thin. Regulus tried to focus on the task at hand but he couldn’t stop thinking about the bowls of rotting food stored away where Sirius’s things should be.

“I found the food you hid in your closet.” Regulus blurted rather ungracefully. Sirius didn’t seem to notice, he moved his head to look towards Regulus and blinked but there was little thought behind his eyes. Regulus wondered if Sirius even understood what he was saying. Regulus continued to talk, because Sirius didn’t do that anymore.

“I was looking for your outfit tonight. There were bowls and bowls of porridge in your wardrobe, Sirius. That’s why it smelled so bad.” Regulus was good at keeping his emotions hidden from others, hiding his thoughts and feelings behind a cold facade, but remembering the conditions Sirius was allowed, no, recommended to live in made Regulus’s stomach beat up in his throat while his heart pressed down on top of it. “Some of them had maggots, and flies!”

Sirius still couldn’t care less. He didn’t change much about himself at all. He shrugged, he sat in the chair with no further response. Sirius was going to have to talk tonight, to their parents, and Regulus was supposed to help with that. Sirius was supposed to be getting better, but nothing seemed to be further from the truth.

“Is Kreacher not taking your meals when you finish?”

Another stupid shrug.

“And are you not eating?” Regulus looked back at hollow crevices his brother once filled. He seemed near completely eclipsed in shadow. Regulus tried not to look for too long, it would hurt too much if he did. “Is that all they’re sending you?”

Another fucking shrug.

Regulus tried to temper his frustration as his anxiety grew, but was this endeavor really as hopeless as his parents made it sound to be? Was Regulus that foolish in thinking his brother still existed within the confines of this house? Within the confines of his own body?

He needed Sirius back. Just a scrap of him, just for tonight. A few words, that’s all he’d need and Regulus could coast them through the rest of the night, he was sure of it. A few words is all Sirius needed to stay safe. Regulus wasn’t entirely sure the game that his parents were playing, but he knew that Sirius was a pawn they considered expendable. Otherwise, why would they treat him this way?

“You’re going to have to talk you know.” Regulus waited a full three beats for Sirius to respond with anything, but he didn’t. He remained a statue. Fucking Sirius, making this hard just for the sake of difficulty. Regulus understood why Sirius hated his parents, but he couldn’t understand why Sirius hated him. His big brother was never supposed to hate Regulus.

“They’re not going to like it if you don’t talk. You’re going to have to talk tonight so….why not practice on me? Just….say something, yeah? Anything.”

The pleading tone Regulus let slip wasn’t enough to rouse Sirius from his defiantly still state. Regulus didn’t know why Sirius hated him, but he would let him. It was foolish to, it was dangerous to, but Regulus would let Sirius hate him for eternity and he was still going to do everything he could to keep that eternity from ending in this house, under his parents control.

“You could tell me to fuck off, even. That’d make you happy, I suppose. I wouldn’t tell mother.”

Regulus would protect Sirius as much as he could, it was the debt he owed to his brother for years of protection. Regulus hadn’t understood at first why Sirius told his parents that he’d been the one to cut Regulus’s hair and give him a bald spot right front and center when Regulus was five years old. He hadn’t at first. But after Sirius also told Father that he’d been the one who’d spilled ink on his expensive tome when it was Regulus who’d fumbled, and he’d told Mother it was him who’d broken her vase, and he even took the blame for the time Regulus accidentally flooded the house….he started to understand. Because every time Sirius did that, he’d have a talk with his father and come back with a fake smile on his face and hands hidden behind his back. For a long time, Sirius would sneak into Regulus’s room after those instances, late at night when they were supposed to be asleep. To make sure you don’t get up to more trouble. Sirius would say. Regulus believed Sirius at first, but he was smart and he noticed patterns. It didn’t take him long to notice that Sirius came in at night, at least in part because he was scared. Often he was also hurt. Maybe he was there to make sure Regulus was okay too, but Sirius didn’t talk anymore so they may never know.

Regulus regarded the rules, not because he thought they were all great or should be followed, but because he knew what would happen if they were broken. Sirius taught him that lesson early, Sirius disregarded the rules on a whim and with a smile on his face. Regulus used to think it was brave, but now it just seemed foolish. Look at where all that audacity has left Sirius.

Sirius broke the rules, Regulus understood, in part to protect him. He had been a good big brother for a while, until he started believing that Regulus’s loyalty to his parents was because he aligned with their values and not because that was his way of protecting himself. Sirius had taught him that, Regulus used to wonder how he couldn’t understand.

But Regulus had done a good job of protecting himself as he got older, now it was his turn to try and protect his brother.

“You’ve talked before. Used to be unable to shut you up.” Regulus reminded the other.

Their parents thought Sirius’s mutism was defiance, they assumed it a tactic of manipulation. The fact that they couldn’t easily control Sirius had always been a point of contention between him and their parents. Regulus would think that they would prefer a mute Sirius, if he can't talk then he can’t run his mouth, or talk out of turn, or say the wrong thing like he was so prone to doing before. Regulus didn’t completely understand it either. Sirius had been inconsistent with his speech this summer, but Regulus had heard him talk. He talked when the cousins were around, when his grandparents were. Not much, not as much as before, but some. But recently…..silence.

“You’ve talked at other functions this year. You’ve talked at dinners.”

I was forced to. Regulus almost thought Sirius had spoken out loud to him. Almost. The voice sounded slightly different. Loud, but with no resonance. Sirius's reply had been in his head. Had Regulus read Sirius’s mind or was this a hallucination?

Regulus tried to quell the bubbling in his stomach as he processed what he’d heard. Hallucination or not, Regulus was smart, Regulus noticed patterns. How had he allowed himself to be so naive? How had he not realized the extent of what they had done sooner?

“Mum asked me to get you ready today.” Regulus eventually said, changing the subject. They didn’t need to harp on Sirius’s past any further. Regulus needed to prepare him for Sirius’s future. “For tonight’s dinner.

Regulus could feel Sirius’s energy change. Regulus could guess what Sirius was wondering, he could almost hear the other’s worries: How many people would be there? What was the dinner for? What did they want from Sirius? Was this a test?

“It’s a test” Regulus confirmed. “Tonight is a test,” It was a test for the both of them, though Regulus omitted that detail. “to see how you’ve been doing with your treatments.”

The area around them grew cold as Sirius’s worry set in.

“You’ll do fine.” Regulus replied, trying to be reassuring. “It’s an easy test. Just us, no company.”

What will they do to me if I fail?

Regulus could hear his brother’s voice again. Was this a hallucination or was Regulus finally breaking away from theory and moving into application of the theories Doctor Hemlock had been tutoring him on? Or, alternatively, was this Sirius’s own doing?

Regardless, Regulus didn’t have the time to ponder theoreticals right now. He needed to prepare Sirius for tonight.

“You’re going to want you to talk.” Perhaps it was blunt, but Sirius needed to know what was expected of him and Regulus didn’t know what else to do.

Sirius wilted, but Regulus couldn’t concern himself with that right now. Sirius needed to speak tonight. If he cared about himself at all, if he had any self-preservation skills left, he’d speak. But Sirius didn’t care about himself, did he? Why else would his windows be locked? Regulus was thankful for the sudden chill in the room, otherwise he was afraid he’d have sweat running down his back.

“You don’t have to say much, just something.” He promised.

Regulus’s words didn’t seem to comfort Sirius, though. Regulus could feel Sirius’s energy radiating from his body. He could feel his brother’s body begin to tremble. Regulus turned his radiator back on, he pulled the duvet off of his bed and wrapped it around Sirius’s shoulders. He couldn’t tell if the trembling was from fear or from the change in temperature but he figured in either scenario a blanket would help. He excused himself for a moment before returning with a fruit in hand.

Sirius’s hands were tight and trembling, but Regulus was able to pry them open and let them hold an orange. His grip was weak, Regulus noted. His fingers were thin and bony, his cuticles cut up and dry. The hands almost didn’t seem to know what to do with the orange, like they couldn’t trust his themselves to work.

Regulus needed Sirius to stop shaking, he needed to give the other a task while they finish getting ready. There was only so much time before they were expected for supper. Regulus’s hands rested over Sirius’s. Regulus tried looking into his brother’s eyes as he took a deep breath to steady them. Sirius was looking downward though. Still, the trembling in his hands began to subside. Regulus started on the orange peel. He showed Sirius how to chip away at the rind, he made sure Sirius had a nice large spot to grab onto to begin with.

“Keep doing that, then eat the fruit inside.” Regulus instructed. He returned to Sirius’s hair.

He wasn’t sure how he was going to do it yet. Letting it loose was the best option for letting it dry, but it was the worst option for pleasing their parents. It was an awkward length, Regulus had to try a few things. He considered putting half of it up, but he wondered if that was almost worse. Sirius needed to appease them, which meant it was safest to go traditional. As Regulus worked oils through Sirius’s hair to help moisturize it, Regulus tried to weave his hair into a plait. It was fine but Regulus would have to take a lot more time to make it perfect. That was time they didn’t really have. A low ponytail would have to do.

By the time he had managed to slick back Sirius’s hair and gather it at the base of his neck. Sirius turned back to look at him only seconds after Regulus stepped away. He looked confused, like he didn’t know what he should be doing.

“Go on, eat it.”

The ferocity with which his brother ate was both impressive and concerning. He’d seen Sirius eat, he’d seen him eat fast, but Regulus wasn’t certain his brother was even chewing. He worried Sirius might choke, he worried about the reason behind Sirius’s ravenous behavior.

“You’ll have to eat slower at dinner tonight.”

Sirius wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention to him. Regulus sighed, he brushed Sirius’s hair one last time before wrapping the base of the ponytail in black silk. He contemplated the braid once more, but decided against it for a second time. He ran a bit more oil through Sirius’s hair, just at the ends to keep it uniform. Sirius had slowed in his eating, but he was still nearly done with his orange. Regulus busied himself with their outfits. By the time he’d gotten two outfits planned and placed out, Sirius was nearly finished with his fruit. Regulus grabbed a damp cloth he’d prepared earlier and handed it to Sirius.

“Clean up your hands, then we’ll get dressed.” It took a moment for Sirius to do as he was told, but eventually he did. Regulus smiled, glad that his brother was responsive to him. He wasn’t sure if that was because Sirius trusted him or if his will had really just been worn down that much. According to everyone else in the house, Sirius was the most defiant he’d ever been. Regulus tried not to think about what was happening behind closed doors. He had some sort of an idea, he knew some of the tactics the doctor was using and he could understand in theory how they could help. He didn’t understand how Sirius had gotten so hollow, though. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. Regulus tried not to look for too long, he turned to the service button in his room and pressed it. Kreacher would be up shortly.

While Regulus waited for Kreacher, he busied himself with getting his outfit for the night on. They were both his outfits, Regulus wasn’t sure what happened to Sirius’s good clothes, but he didn’t ask questions he didn’t want the answers to. Regulus focused on buttoning his shirt, pulling his trousers on. He was just making sure his buttons aligned straight down his front when the house elf came knocking on the door.

“Come in.” Regulus responded. He greeted his friend with a nod and signaled for him to close the door behind him. Regulus crossed his room, moving to the farthest corner away from where his brother sat twiddling with a damp cloth. Kreacher knew to follow him.

“Thank you for cleaning him up.” Regulus wanted to ask more, he wanted to ask where his injuries came from and why Sirius was injured so badly but he didn’t. He knew better than to ask questions he didn’t want the answers to, he already knew more than he wanted to, he was already too closely involved. Tonight was just as much of a test for him as it was for Sirius tonight. There were expectations for him, there were tasks Regulus might have to do that he didn’t want to. He was glad that Sirius was responding to him so far, he hoped that he continued to listen. Regulus didn’t want to use the impirius curse, he didn’t want to try legilimency for the first time on his brother.

Regulus nearly got lost in his thoughts, but Kreacher wouldn’t allow it.

“Of course, Master Regulus.”

Regulus looked over at his brother, at how something as simple as a a blanket seemed to be such a comfort to him. How he had lost a lot of the spark and vibrancy he used to have. It was confusing, it hurt, Regulus wished he didn’t have to see this version of his older brother.

“Is he always like this?” Regulus asked. Regulus trusted that Kreacher would give him the most honest answer he could. Mother had entrusted Kreacher with much of Sirius’s care, and Regulus had befriended the house elf throughout his life. He knew there were things he was likely not allowed to talk about, but Kreacher would be as honest as he could be.

“He has his good days and his bad days. Spends a lot of time in his mind, it seems.”

Regulus wasn’t sure what else he was expecting to hear. That was about the most basic answer the house elf could give, but he assumed that he’d been instructed or charmed not to do more. Regulus didn’t want to get his friend in trouble, now wasn’t the time to press the subject. They had other priorities today.

“Will you help me get him dressed, Kreacher?”

The house elf couldn’t really say no, but he didn’t act that way as he made his way to Sirius’s side along with young Master Regulus. Kreacher took the cloth from the other’s hands and apparated it down to the laundry room to be washed.

Regulus stood in front of his brother and tried to see how aware he seemed to be of his surroundings. He watched Sirius’s face, he tried to catch his attention, and when he managed to he smiled. Regulus stood up and returned to his wardrobe. He grabbed a small potion he’d had stored inside.

“I want you to take this.” Regulus offered the bottle to his brother, but he noted that the other didn’t take it. He was hesitant, Regulus supposed that was fair enough. They didn’t have the best relationship these days, he wasn’t even certain Sirius could really understand him.

“It’s safe, I promise. I made it myself.”

The words of response were so clear and loud in Regulus’s head, he wondered if Sirius broke his silence just for him. Oh, I trust that. Regulus’s lips twisted into a frown. Of course Sirius would be so obnoxious, as if he didn’t trust Regulus’s capabilities. He frowned because he didn’t know if he’d intruded on Sirius, if Sirius had intruded on him, or if he was hallucinating.

“I have top marks in my class.” Regulus tried to both reassure and remind his brother. “You’d know that if you took Slughorn up on his offers. I know he wants you in his club too.”

Sirius’s words pierced his head again. I’m not an item to be collected. He only wants me because he has you.

Regulus wanted to fight him, he wanted to yell at his brother and tell him to stop being so obstinate but Sirius had a point. That is, if that even was Sirius, if this even was a conscious conversation. Calm yourself, Regulus he told himself. He had a bigger task at hand today than arguing with his brother about their academics.

“It’s a standard pain potion. It’ll help you feel better, give you some more energy.”

Regulus ignored Sirius’s silent sass. He pressed the bottle into Sirius’s hand. Regulus had gone through the effort of uncorking the top for Sirius, all the other had to do was drink it. And drink it Sirius did, but not until after he’d inspected it. He drank it all the same, though. That’s all Regulus cared about. Maybe he’d be more compliant if he wasn’t in pain. It was a rather liberal stance, according to their parents, which is why Regulus had brewed a pain potion on his own, why he had kept it in his armoire, and why he was giving it to his brother who didn’t talk. Regulus was given tonight to get Sirius in order, he wasn’t given specific instructions on how to. So long as he got results, Regulus didn’t seem to worry about how he managed them. What his parents didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

Regulus helped Sirius stand a minute or so after watching Sirius take the potion. He didn’t complain, whine, or falter as they stood him up and helped him into his clothes. Regulus worked on buttoning Sirius’s shirt while Kreacher worked on getting Sirius into his trousers. He’d chosen a black shirt for Sirius, with gold snakes embroidered around the collar and meeting at the neck. He put Sirius in dark green trousers with a crushed velvet vest of the same shade. He slipped a black dinner jacket up over Sirius’s shoulders. These clothes should be too small on Sirius, his shoulders shouldn’t fit in the coat with the ease that they did. Sirius was the big brother, but right now he was more bone than flesh.

Sirius cleaned up nice, though. Regulus complimented in him in ivory and indigo, forgoing traditional colors for something a bit different. Regulus had that flexibility. Sirius, while one of the only English Blacks not in Slytherin, needed to be in the green. Even if it was a farce, he needed to show Sirius as aligned with their family, he needed to put the image of what they wanted Sirius to be in their head as a possibility. He didn’t know what Sirius had done to upset mother so much recently, but Regulus knew he needed to give Sirius all the help he could to persuade her to keep hope for him.

“There you go.” Regulus murmured as he finished straightening everything out. He put his hand on Sirius’s back and turned them towards the mirror propped atop his vanity. “You look so much better now, don’t you think?”

Sirius was compliant with Regulus’s demands. He stood and moved his arms as necessary, he turned to the mirror when his brother guided him, he searched in his reflection to see if he could agree with Regulus’s sentiment. Sirius Black found his reflection, he found his face in the mirror, he locked eyes with himself. Sirius was transported back into a memory, Regulus was transported with him.

They came crashing to the floor and out of the office a moment later. Regulus felt himself fall, a tangle of limbs with his brother as they lay parallel to each other. When Regulus opened his eyes he found Kreacher above them, holding a hand out to help them up.

“My apologies, young Masters Black.” He said “I did not meant to startle you two. Are you injured?”

“It’s alright, Kreacher.” Regulus dismissed. He was fine, and Sirius was fine. He wanted to know more about what had just happened, though. “But why did you push us?” Regulus asked.

“You were frozen, Master Regulus. Both of you were.”

Frozen, right. Regulus hadn’t meant to invade Sirius’s memories. He hadn’t even quite figured out how he’d done it, yet. He supposed it was the mirror. Regulus had read about a few theories, using legilimency with reflections, but he hadn’t considered the practical application of it yet. Regulus remembered to stow that topic away as something to research further. The next pressing question was, had Regulus done that? He’d only ever learned of legilimency in theory, he hadn’t yet practiced it successfully. But if this was insight into how Sirius had been treated this summer, then Regulus understood how Sirius had become so fragmented.

Sirius still lay on the floor, looking up at Regulus with confusion and fear. Regulus didn’t like that look, he didn’t like the doctor’s words in the back of his head, he didn’t like anything about this moment. He didn’t like the way that Sirius’s eyes got wide as he recognized who was over him, as he recognized what he’d done. Then, Regulus watched as his brother’s eyes started to glaze over.

No, Regulus thought. No he can’t do this right now.

“Sirius?” Regulus called, shaking the other. He shuddered when Sirius shivered at his touch. He didn’t think he was helping. “Sirius, hey!” Regulus slapped Sirius’s cheek. He stilled as Sirius came back into awareness.

Sirius looked confused, he looked wayward, but he looked like he recognized Regulus. The whole thing was sad. Regulus felt sad as he stared at his big brother. Well, he used to be Regulus’s big brother, right now it was difficult to see anything big about him, Sirius had never seemed so small. Regulus wanted not to feel, he wanted not to remember what he’d just seen, he wanted to not be plagued by Sirius’s hurt expression. Regulus wanted to turn his feelings off, he was historically pretty good at the task, but this accident felt more like a betrayal. Sirius needed a scrap of comfort. There wasn’t much he could honestly give to his brother, but Regulus tried.

“It’s just us tonight.” Regulus reassured, focusing back on the task at hand.

Did he want to apologize? Maybe, but what would he say sorry for? He hadn’t meant to snoop in Sirius’s mind, he hadn’t meant to see what Sirius had shown him. And that’s exactly it, Regulus hadn’t gone looking for anything, the information he’d been given was presented to him. Some part of Sirius must want Regulus to see it, then. This wasn’t Regulus’s fault. Even if it was, what good was a sorry going to do? The large, even booming of the grandfather clock rang throughout the house and pulled Regulus out of his momentary worry. They had to get downstairs, they were late for their meal.

“Come on.” Regulus tried to encourage. “Collect yourself, it’s time for dinner.”

Mother and Father were waiting downstairs by the time Regulus and Sirius managed to get themselves to the foyer. Regulus’s could feel his heart beating in his chest, but he was good at hiding his anxiety. He’d learned to do that years ago. With a stiff upper lip, Regulus looked over his brother once more, dusting his shoulders off and straightening his jacket one last time. He was worried about his ability to pull this off, but he had no choice but to try.

“You need to talk tonight. Just a simple Yes, Mum or No, Mum would be fine. But you need to. Do you understand?” Regulus’s tone was firm, but not harsh. He needed to know that Sirius understood him, he needed to know that Sirius would listen. Sirius nodded, that was a good sign.

“And stay present.” Regulus reminded his brother. “It’s only a dinner. Just do what you know they want you to.” Sirius had survived family functions before, he’d survived so many of them until this summer. What had gone wrong this year? Regulus chose to believe that Sirius still knew how to act, that he could behave tonight.

Sirius nodded at him and turned back towards the dining room. He walked in front of Regulus, as the oldest that is what was proper and expected. Sirius’s gait wasn’t the same confident saunter that it once was. It was barely attractive at all: slightly off kilter and uneven, like his legs had forgotten all but the most basic movements. Regulus took a deep breath and followed after him, preparing himself to enter into tonight’s game, prepared but uncertain of the rules.

“You can clean up nice, then.” Regulus heard Mother compliment. Regulus tried to relax a bit, he’d passed the first test for tonight. “You did a splendid job, Regulus.”

Splendid. Splendid was a good compliment, splendid was genuine. Better than good or wonderful, nice, great, lovely, or beautiful. Splendid made Regulus’s lips twitch into a smile.

“Thank you, Mum.” Regulus replied, coming to his mother’s side to give her a kiss on the cheek before sitting at his seat at the dinner table.

“Do tell me dear, was it terribly difficult work?” Mother asked as Regulus scooted into his place. He watched as wine appeared in their goblets, Regulus waited until Father took a sip before ever daring to touch his own.

“He wasn’t too horrible.” Regulus replied easily.

“How did you get him to do it?” His father’s voice boomed from across the room. Regulus watched as his father took a large gulp from his goblet, watching as the wine reappeared, never emptying. Only father’s glass did that, only when he wanted it to. Regulus knew to be slightly more measured and careful with his responses. “Lord knows he doesn’t listen to anybody else.”

If Regulus were to guess, Father didn’t want to have Sirius at dinner tonight. If he were to try and understand the why behind the dynamics of this dinner, he would guess that Mother arranged this tonight and forgot to tell Father until this morning. Father was insistent but Mother almost always got the last word. He likely wanted something stronger to drink, to take this dinner into his study and disappear for the night, leaving Mother and Regulus to themselves. That’s what he did most nights and honestly, it’s what Regulus preferred, but Mother always got the last word.

“That’s not true, Father.” Challenging Orion was a questionable choice when he’d been drinking, and Regulus knew he’d been drinking by the mere volume of his voice. Regulus was good at this, though. It was a setup for a joke. If Regulus got his timing right, he’d manage to make Father laugh, which would make Mother smile. “I gave him no other choice.”

And Regulus’s words weren’t untrue. He may not have used magic to force Sirius into behaving the way they wanted him to, but he didn’t give Sirius choices today. He told Sirius to get up, to get showered, to get dressed. Regulus had just been lucky that Sirius had listened to him today.

Regulus’s joke had worked, Father’s laughter burst through the room. Regulus saw the way Sirius flinched but he didn’t day anything about it, now was not the time to stand up for him. Sirius still had to perform tonight, he had to do just enough to win his parents over and convince them to keep him in their care another day…….not that he was really under much care. Regulus could manage that, though. Now that he better understood the extent of things, Regulus could watch over him better. He could be careful, he could manage to keep Sirius afloat for the remainder of the summer…..maybe. He could try.

“I told you he’d be able to handle it.” Mother praised. Some of Regulus’s anxieties dissipated with her comment. He was doing well, he’d guessed enough of the rules so far that he felt he may be winning, as much as winning was possible in a game with no real rules or prize for winning.

“A shame for Sirius, though.” Father’s words hurt, but Regulus didn’t show his fears. He didn’t look at the man, he didn’t look at Sirius. Regulus knew how to be a good boy, he knew it was best to stare down at his plate while his father was talking in a direction Regulus was uncertain about. “Tonight is about him, isn’t it? The progress he’s made, and so far he hasn’t been able to show us anything. You couldn’t trust him to get ready by himself…..can he even bloody talk yet?”

He was upset at Mother, but Regulus knew that his skills were being judged as well. Everyone who wasn’t the head of the house was under judgment tonight and it all boiled down to if Sirius could talk. If Sirius couldn’t talk then Regulus’s work at getting him presentable wasn’t for anything, which meant that Mother’s ability to do her job would also be under question. All eyes turned to Sirius. Seconds felt like hours.

“I can.” The voice didn’t sound like his brother’s. Sirius was loud, he was the loudest in the room and the last to leave. He was a roaring fire, a tangle of lyrics, a steam engine bustling full speed ahead with no direction. This voice wasn’t that, it was barely a voice, but it came out of Sirius’s mouth and for that Regulus was grateful. Everyone was a bit safer for it.

“Well,” Mother spoke, her slow clapping just as piercing as her voice. “It does speak after all.”

It was a sick sort of praise, but Sirius smiled at it anyway. Sirius hadn’t cared about Mother’s praise in years, at least not externally. Was that progress? Was the person sitting across from him really still his brother? Was that the point?

“I believe this calls for celebration.” Mother clapped her hands again, and the house elves came out of the servants pantry with their food. The Blacks only had three house elves, less than his family would have had in years past but more than many had and enough for the four of them. Kreacher’s poor mother wouldn’t last another winter, Regulus thought. He wondered if that event would be worthy of a celebration.

Regulus was the first to speak after the first course had been served. He waited until everyone had taken a bite before speaking, preferring to watch and take note on changes in the atmosphere. If Regulus talked first it would take the pressure off of Sirius, at least for a while. He talked about the upcoming school year and the books him and his friends had been reading that would put them ahead. He reminded his parents that he had been chosen as a prefect, he reminded them of his friend Pandora who would be prefect along wit him. He bragged about her, talked about the experiments she had been working on. Regulus tried to keep the conversation focused on whatever he could that wasn’t related to Sirius. But he could only keep his parents interested for so long before Orion remembered why this dinner was arranged in the first place.

“So, how are your treatments going?” He asked Sirius.

Everyone’s attention shifted to Sirius. Regulus could feel the prickly tension coming from his brother, but he doubted that his parents were keen to it. Everybody watched as Sirius carefully cut up a piece of his dinner and chewed it. Regulus wondered if Sirius would talk any more. Regulus had only told him that a simple yes or no would do, maybe Sirius was going to be as obstinate as he had been all summer now that their parents were present. Why did Sirius have to be like this? How much longer could he remain silent before somebody was punished? Regulus looked between both of his parents, trying to judge their patience.

“They’re going well, then?” Mother asked. Her tone was light enough to be considered polite by the general fool, but it was clear that she was giving Sirius a warning. She would only give one, Sirius must act correctly and quickly.

He looked as though he was going to be sick, but Sirius eventually choked out a small “Yes.”

Sirius had known it was a test too, Regulus was thankful that he had heeded Mother’s warning. Regulus didn’t want to know what punishment would await his older brother for not doing as mother wanted. Father was impressed by this, too. He was the next at the table to speak.

“Maybe the doctor has made some progress with him.” Father hummed. Regulus wondered if Father knew what the doctor did during his treatments. He both seemed aware and ignorant to the game Mother was playing, but unlike Regulus he wasn’t really trying to play.

“This is the most we’ve seen from him in weeks.” Father added as he raised his goblet to the air and took a drink. Mother took the silence as an opportunity to continue her prodding. She may not be looking Regulus’s way, but Regulus could feel the ice stabbing down his back from her stare.

“Tell me dear. What is it that you and Doctor Hemlock have been working on?”

The silence was heavy. Sirius looked like he didn’t care, but Regulus could feel the way his brother’s heart was beating. He could feel the fear radiating off of Sirius. Regulus wondered if this is how Sirius felt all the time. Surely not, he thought, but as he sat here Regulus couldn’t help but notice how good of an actor his brother was.

“Well boy?” Father said as his patience wore thin. If he was playing this game, his only objective was to keep his wife pleased enough to get through the night. Mother was very clearly the game master, everybody else merely pawns. “Don’t ignore your mother. That’s no way to be acting.”

While his hands didn’t shake, Regulus could feel the hesitation as Sirius took his time taking another bite of his dinner. He could sense the anxiety that Sirius had, he could almost hear Sirius wondering if this was the last bite of dinner he would get.

No longer able to sit in his anxiety without making it obvious, Regulus did his best to protect his brother and focused the attention back on him, if only for a moment.

“Has the doctor not been giving you updates on his treatment, Mother?” Regulus had a better chance at not being punished for sticking his neck out with his mother. Walburga was patient with him, more patient than she was with anybody else. If he had asked Father, Regulus would have likely gotten slapped. But Walburga was patient. Though she didn’t look at her youngest, she acknowledged and dismissed him with a simple hand gesture. Her eyes were focused on Sirius like a vulture to a carcass.

“Tonight is for your brother to show off all the hard work he’s been doing.”

Regulus wasn’t sure if it was the way her back straightened as her smile pointed or the tone in her voice that alerted him to it, but her response told Regulus that she was about to reveal something. Based off of the way she seemed to be growing, Regulus knew she had planned for this. She had stewed on this. Perhaps this was what she was lamenting about during Regulus’s piano lesson the other day. Regulus had tried so hard to protect his brother today, but he had no idea what Mother was about to reveal. He wasn’t sure if his efforts had been enough.

“The doctor did say that you had a rather marvelous breakthrough the other day.”

If Sirius’s behavior hadn’t changed, Regulus wasn’t sure what sort of breakthrough could have happened. Doctor Hemlock wasn’t a traditional doctor, though. He was a memory doctor, one of the best in the trade, and he was also a follower of the Dark Lord. He was teaching Regulus legilimency, and while Regulus wasn’t sure he could apply more than theory up until earlier today, he still had no idea what he could have found or planted inside Sirius’s mind.

“Sirius, would you care to share with the family what that was?” Mother’s smile was twisted and curled, she looked almost like the Cheshire Cat as her head twisted and craned from side to side. The game was afoot and Mother was just about to make her kill.

“Cat’s got your tongue, dear?”

Again, Regulus could feel the white hot anxiety that radiated off of his brother but staring at him, Regulus wouldn’t know Sirius was afraid. He looked so indifferent, pouting at his mother, staring her straight in the eye and shrugging. The disrespect she would take from that. Regulus was surprised she didn’t hit him right then and there. Instead, she got colder and Regulus grew more afraid.

“Sirius, darling. I am giving you the opportunity to confess and atone for your behavior. I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity so forgiving if I were you.”

Sirius didn’t respond. He didn’t confess or atone for his behavior. Regulus wondered if Sirius even knew what behavior Mother was talking about.

“What did the boy do?” Father asked. Mother’s implications had piqued his interest, they had worried him, given him a reason to pay attention and truly care about the purpose of this meal.

“Well?” Everything about Mother was cold. She appeared twice her usual size as she sat in her perceived victory. Regulus still didn’t know what game Mother was playing, just that she seemed justified.

Sirius was trembling in his seat, but he did his best to respond to her. “I-I don’t-”

He had spoken, sure, but not soon enough. Mother had given Sirius multiple opportunities to do so but he hadn’t taken spoken when she had asked. She had run out of patience. A spark emitted from her wand before Regulus could even register that it was in her hand. Sirius screamed, but only for a second. She didn’t sustain her anger long enough to cause a show, just long enough to make a point.

“I’ll give you one more chance to tell the truth.”

Sirius’s head bobbed dangerously. His mouth gaped open, a bit of drool starting to drip down his bottom lip. His hand was twitching, his breathing ragged. It was evident that he was in pain, it was evident that he was disoriented. Mother didn’t seem to care. Her wand tapped impatiently against the solid wood table. Sirius was disoriented, but not so out of touch that he didn’t notice the moment her wand didn’t follow the pattern it had been. Regulus jumped as Sirius darted under the table. Everyone was a bit more than startled.

“Now what is this all about? Boy, get back up here.” Orion barked, his wand pointed at Sirius and forcing the other up and back into his chair.

He didn’t scream. The thing that bothered Regulus the most was that he didn’t scream. Sirius’s body remained firm in the seat, Regulus knew that Father was keeping him there. While confined to the chair, that didn’t keep Sirius from writhing in his seat as his mother inflicted him with another curse. He was in pain, Regulus knew he was in pain, so much pain that he couldn’t think. But he didn’t scream. Sirius’s mouth didn’t open once.. His eyes rolled into the back of his neck and his nose bled, but Sirius didn’t make a sound. The silence was deafening. Eventually, the curse ended and Mother spoke again.

“He’s a little blood traitor. A thief and a liar. And he has been for years. Right under our nose.” Walburga spat towards the table. Her disgust was thick, it permeated the air and oozed throughout the room.

Regulus could only guess what the doctor had seen, what he’d reported to Mother. He could only imagine what Sirius had done, what was going to happen with their night now.

“He’s stolen our resources to help beasts, he’s befriended a werewolf.”

So Severus’s stupid little rants had been correct. Regulus had thought that the other had given up on his theories because he finally realized that nobody else cared, but the theories did hold up. Anybody with a decent knowledge of magical beasts and some basic observation skills could probably put two and two together, but so many people were happy to ignore what was right in front of them.

Sirius dropped his fork, it was the loudest sound in the room.

“Regulus, dear” Mother’s voice chimed in it’s sweetest and most artificial tone. “Do you know which of his friends Moony might be?”

Yes, Regulus thought. Anybody who spent more than perhaps a day or two around his group of friends would know who Moony was, but anyone who was in the castle for the last several weeks last term would know that Moony wanted nothing to do with Sirius. Regulus had no qualms with Remus Lupin, he saw no reason why he should put more of a target on that man’s back. Regulus kept calm under the pressure. He paused for a moment, as if trying to recollect who this mysterious Moony might be.

“No” Regulus said simply. “I don’t know who that could be.”

“That’s preposterous!” Father’s hand slammed down on the table, making Regulus jump. At first he thought it was because of his answer, preposterous of Regulus not to keep better inventory of his brother’s social relations, but the next words out of his mouth cleared Regulus of his related anxieties. “They wouldn’t allow such vile beasts at that school.”

“They’re not beasts!” It was the most like Sirius he had sounded in a long time. Regulus felt worry before Sirius seemed to. Sirius’s white hot explosion was met with refined, icy guile.

“So it is true.” Mother had set a trap and just like that, Sirius had walked right into it. Sirius’s eyes widened with fear as he realized what he had just done.

“It looks like the doctor hasn’t done a good enough job with you.”

Regulus had to do something, Mother looked out to kill. He wasn’t sure what he could do, but he couldn’t not try.

“Mother...” Regulus tried to interject.

“Silence, Regulus!” Neither Imperius or Ocausi were used but it might as well have been with the way the room went quiet. All that could be heard was Sirius’s sputtering, his attempts at breathing. Even when Regulus wasn’t trying to be the problem, Sirius was suffering from it.

“We can not have blood traitors in our family! You are a disgrace!” Mother had lost her patience. Regulus knew it wasn’t his fault but it felt that way. “I have tried so hard with you, Sirius. Tried to teach you right from wrong, how to survive in this nasty, muggle infected world….and you’ve always been so difficult. It’s like you have a death wish.”

Regulus watched as Mother stood up and took out her wand. He tried not to flinch as he watched his older brother get attacked again.

“Speak, boy!”

But how could he speak when he was in pain, when he was getting tortured? His screams were loud this time, loud and full of anguish. The screams felt as though they went on forever, but the silence that occurred afterwards is what made Regulus’s stomach really churn.

Sirius was slumped against the table, but only for a few moments. He didn’t really have control over his body; his limbs shook, he lay on the floor for several seconds, seizing, before he managed to pick himself up.

It was pathetic, the way Sirius dragged himself across the floor. He was no match for any enemy, whatever attempt he would make towards escape was purely out of pity. Regulus wondered if Mother liked watching Sirius squirm like this. Regulus wondered if she could ever feel the same way about him.

Just as Sirius managed to make it across the dining room’s threshold, his body was levitated and thrown down the hall and into the wall. Regulus tried not to flinch as he heard the crash.

“M-Mother…” Sirius’s voice was cracked and broken. It trembled just as much as his body did as he picked himself up and leaned against the wall he’d just been thrown into.

“Don’t you call me Mother you wretched, filthy, mudwallower!” Mother was angry, her mind was made up. She towered over everyone as she stood, her anger making her twice as big as usual.

“I am tired of you constantly staining our name with your nonsense.”

Mother made her way down the hall. Regulus knew it was stupid to follow her, but he was unable to remain still in the moment. Father followed after, Regulus wondered if out of concern or entertainment.

“I have given you more than enough chances to prove yourself. Mother started as she paced closer to Sirius. “I’ve been nothing but supportive of you, provided the best for You, and you repay us by running amuck with our name and good fortune?”

“I-I’m sorry. I-” Sirius never got ot finish his sentence. It was too late, Mother wanted nothing to do with Sirius’s words anymore. He had sealed his fate the moment he defended werewolves at the dinner table. All Sirius could do was stumble backwards, falling over furniture in the drawing room, backing himself into another corner, buying himself no more than mere seconds.

“You are not sorry.” Mother corrected. Her wand flicked and pinned Sirius in place as the furniture moved around. “You are no son of mine. You are a disgrace and an embarrassment!”

Everyone watched as Sirius’s protrait was burned off of the family tapestry. Today had been a test meant to be failed. Regulus wondered if that had been other’s plan all along.

Regulus shouldn’t have been surprised when Mother chose to curse Sirius again, but the scream did startle him. Regulus knew he’d never be able to forget the sound of his brother’s screams like this. Regulus had seen the crutiatus curse before, he’d seen it exampled on bugs and rodents but never a person, not on his brother. Not until today. Watching Sirius struggle was more than Regulus could stomach.

She was relentless, Regulus thought. Mother looked so much like Bella in this moment it was a little scary. Bella didn’t often have control in the way the Blacks were supposed to; she was dramatic like Sirius and loud. She was opinionated, unable to hide her emotions well, and full of energy. She sided with the family’s beliefs, however, so she was not the problem that Sirius was. When she got really into an idea, fixated on something, her lips would curl in this cruel and delicate way. Mother wore Bella’s smile in this moment. She’s going to kill him, Regulus thought as she refused to let up.

Sirius’s relationship with his brother was strained, it had been for many years, but that didn’t mean that Regulus wanted his brother dead. That didn’t mean Regulus wanted to watch his brother’s murder.

The Ancient and Most Noble House of Black had always taught alternative magic practices among the confines of the family. Not just dark magic, as most would believe, but old magic. Regulus had learned of ancient traditions in his youth, he’d been encouraged to utilize wandless techniques, to think creatively and push the expanses of his magical ability. Many of these skills weren’t hidden in other parts of the world, and understanding all aspects of magic was important. It is what made houses like theirs so ancient and so noble. Not only did they have the blood lineage to continue certain forgotten practices, but they had the knowledge that other families had lost. It gave them an advantage, one Regulus was taught about from a very early age.

Wandless magic was the least offensive of the skills that members of the Black family were encouraged to learn. Sirius had always been better at it compared to Regulus, but Regulus had been practicing more than just legilimency and piano over the summer.

It was intentional, what he did, but Regulus would deny it if asked. From his spot in the doorway of the drawing room, Regulus levitated his brother’s writhing body and threw it into the fireplace. He simultaneously used his wandless magic theory to lite the floo and send Sirius away. The Potters would take care of him, if Regulus managed sending him to the correct location. They were the only other pureblood family Regulus could think of that wouldn’t turn Sirius into his parents on the spot. Regulus hoped his magic had worked, he hoped Sirius had gotten out in enough time, he hoped that he wasn’t noticeable as the culprit.

The drawing room was silent and still for a full minute after Sirius’s disappearance. Nobody dare move until Mother did, and for a while all she did was stand there and seethe.

“What” Mother finally demanded, her voice leaving little room for a hesitant response, “Just happened?”

Nobody answered her. Regulus knew better than to try and Orion wasn’t entirely sure what he had just watched. The lack of an answer on anyone’s part was, actually, helpful. It didn’t allow Mother to escalate, the matching confusion from her family helped calm her down.

“Where did he go?” Mother finally asked. Again, nobody knew. Not even Regulus, who knew where Sirius was supposed to end up, but had no information on if he actually got there.

“Does it matter?” Father eventually asked, turning his back towards the situation and walking down the hall towards his study. “The boy’s not our concern anymore.”

Mother’s complexion was pale, she looked tired, and a thin sheen of sweat had formed along her brow. She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. Tonight had taken a lot out of her. She and Regulus stood until the silence settled, though her breathing could still be heard.

“You need to rest.” Regulus finally said, crossing through to his mother’s position and holding his hand out for her to take.

She looked tearful as he took her hand and lead her to her bedroom, but Regulus didn’t think she held remorse for her actions. Even with as many cruel intentions as she’d had, it had to be strange to come to the realization that she had just lost a child. Sirius hadn’t been present around the house for most of the summer, still Regulus couldn’t help but notice the absence.

“Master Regulus” Kreacher interjected as Regulus was talking with the house elf’s mother, Bug, instructing her on how to care after Mother. She knew, she had been a gift to Mother upon her wedding, she had been caring for Mother longer than Regulus had. Still, the young master felt a need to voice his opinion.

“Lord Black would like to visit with you in his study.”

Regulus’s stomach dropped, but he knew better than to allow himself to break composure right now. His lips pressed into a thin line, he tried to tighten them up to his ears into a smile. He wasn’t sure he was convincing, but he nodded anyway.

“Of course. Take over here?” He asked Kreacher, before excusing himself from the room.

The room was large and imposing. Dark and heavy, the walls of the study were taller than the rest of the rooms on the first floor of their residence. The wall to Regulus’s right was filled with old leather bound books from floor to ceiling, which nobody but father was allowed to touch without express permission. His large oak desk sat opposite the heavy oak door, with two equally intimidating leather and oak chairs between. The fireplace was off to Regulus’s left-like most things in the house it was also large and ornate and old. There was a fire raging in it despite the fact that it was summertime, the glow of which illuminated the large portrait of Orion that hung above it.

“Come in, my boy” Father called as Regulus knocked and cracked the door open.

Regulus did as he was told. He stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him and standing in front of his father about a yard way from the desk.

“I was told you wanted to speak with me.” Regulus said, neither his tone nor his stance faltering in the presence of Lord Black.

“I did” Orion replied, setting his crystal glass of amber liquid down on the solid oak desk with wavering hands.

“Quite a bit happened tonight.” Father said.

Regulus nodded. He worried about where this was going to go, if his father would accuse him of being complicit with Sirius's escape, if he’d accuse Regulus of knowing more than he let on. Then again, Father was drunk. He may just want to ramble, or he might want something more. It was always harder to tell what may happen when Father was inebriated.

“Quite a lot has.” Regulus agreed, his back straight, hands behind, eyes forward.

“What do you think about the events of tonight?” Father asked.

Regulus had to swallow the lump in his throat and remain poised. This was a test, just as much everything in this household was as of late. Regulus was uncertain and nervous, but he had always been a good student.

“If I’m honest, Sir?” Regulus asked, studying his father’s every movement and expression to decide how to proceed. “I think tonight was incredibly exhausting.”

Orion laughed at Regulus’s answer but he didn’t look upset. His answer must have been acceptable enough for now.

“Excellent description.” Father praised. Regulus allowed himself to relax just slightly.

“It appears your brother…” Father paused, disgust crossing his face and filling the room for a moment. “Sirius…..wasn’t up for the responsibility of heir.”

Regulus stayed quiet, but nodded at his father in agreement.

“It’s a shame he turned out to be such a disappointment.” Regulus knew that Sirius would have had a difficult time ever living up to the ideals of their family, but that didn’t make the statement any less difficult to stomach.

“It’s a shame” Father reiterated, taking another drink from his glass. “But that’s precisely why I had two sons.”

Regulus knew with that statement that this conversation was going to lead to him and his responsibilities. He could have known, he should have known. Without Sirius in the bloodline, Regulus was heir. He struggled to breathe, but he continued to maintain his composure.

“You, Regulus, have great potential.”

The younger nodded, keeping both his expression and his tone even. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Cunning, clever, and smart. You’d make a good leader. You are what this family needs!”

Regulus wasn’t entirely sure how much his father believed so in this moment, but if Regulus wasn’t to become heir than the responsibility would fall on his cousin Bellatrix and Father was far too much of a misogynist to ever allow that to happen.

“Did you hear me?” Father asked, his hand slamming onto the large oak table with a bang that made it difficult for Regulus not to jump at when he didn’t respond quick enough.

“Yes, sir. I will do my best.”

“Promise me.” Father’s voice left no room for resistance. Regulus wasn’t entirely sure what Father wanted from his promise, but he gave it to him regardless.

“I promise, Sir.”

“Promise me you will be what this family needs. You will do what is necessary to make this bloodline thrive. You will keep us pure, you will keep us strong!”

“I promise, Sir.” Regulus repeated. “I will do my best.”

“No” Father corrected, his tone turning even more bitter and harsh. Regulus watched as the flames in the fireplace grew with his growl. Regulus tried not to worry as his father stepped from behind his desk and grabbed Regulus’s arm, pulling the boy closer to the man’s bloated, sweaty face. “You will not try, you will succeed. Is that understood?”

Regulus swallowed thickly. He nodded, he did his best to look his father in the eye to directly. “Yes, Sir.”

Father’s face turned up into a sickeningly ugly grin.

“Good boy.”

Regulus hadn’t noticed Father’s wand slip from out of his pocket. He wouldn’t have noticed, if it wasn’t for the thin firey line that wrapped around his arm as Father’s hand held his. Regulus’s eyes went wide, though he hoped Father didn’t see. He knew what this was, he knew what was happening, and there was very little he could do to stop it right now.

“You, Regulus Arcturus Black, will serve the House of Black. You will do as your family needs, to any length possible, lest you will have no family or magical ability at all. You will do what is necessary to usher our family into the next great era of wizardry. You will keep the bloodline pure, you will not falter or cross us. You will be the next head of the Black Family line. You will make us proud.”

Regulus’s mouth was dry. This was an unbreakable vow, one he was coerced into, one that was as clear as mud as to what was actually expected of him. He didn’t want to do this, not when the rules were so vague, not when he wasn’t given the information that this is what would be expected of him tonight. He didn’t want to do this when his father was so drunk, but the damage had already been done. Regulus’s arm was prone, he had very little choice.

“Yes, Sir.”

Regulus didn’t get an opportunity to request his own vows back. That’s how it was supposed to work, from his understanding. There was supposed to be a witness also, something that Regulus did not see in the room with him. He wondered if the vow would be binding then, if it would work with so many pieces missing. He wondered if this would all be a fluke, something he could pass off as a bad dream in the morning. He wondered how binding the words could be, without explicit directions. How was Regulus supposed to know what the bloodline needed? Perhaps this was his own fault, perhaps he was supposed to know. He wondered if this responsibility was supposed to be for him. He wondered if this agreement was supposed to to hurt.

His blood felt warm, that was the first thing Regulus noticed after agreeing to his father’s terms and letting go of the embrace. It wasn’t his body that was warm, but his blood. Father looked off center and angry. Regulus wondered if his head was pounding like Regulus’s currently was. Father shuffled back to his desk, he took another drink from his glass and plopped down unceremoniously into the heavy leather chair behind his heavy wooden desk.

“Good” he slurred. “Now get out.”

Father didn’t look at Regulus as he left, perhaps that was a grace on his part. Regulus couldn’t imagine he looked in particularly good shape. Father looked horrid, and Regulus felt it, though he wouldn’t allow himself to show how ragged he truly felt. Not while he was supposed to be presenting as heir.

Regulus didn’t need a second reminder to prompt him to leave. The young master turned on his heels, making a quick pace out of the room when he noticed Thing, father’s house elf, standing in the back corner of the room. There might not have been room for Regulus to demand anything in the vow, but there had been a witness.

With father subdued and mother sedated, Regulus returned up to his bedroom. The chair was still positioned towards the open window, his duvet on the floor where Sirius had left it. At the other end of the hall in a room much colder than this one, where even less wreckage remained. Flies buzzed in cupboards and maggots infested the fine china; Neither bedroom was without ghosts. Regulus wondered if their manor would ever feel full again.

Regulus tried not to feel anything as he cleaned up his room, erasing the memories of today from it. It wasn’t until his bed was rearranged where his dresser used to be that he felt even remotely better. Maybe he wasn’t even better, just tired from the day. Regardless, the fire in his veins had died down enough that Regulus could crawl into his bed and find some sort of sleep.

Regulus wasn’t by any means a drinker, but the only way he could reasonably describe how he felt when he woke up the next morning was hungover. His head throbbed, his body ached, even the sun, which was not commonly seen here, was out and too bright for him. His body was heavy, his mind fuzzy, and his entire being felt off center and slightly different. His confusion was only exacerbated by opening his eyes and seeing that his room had been entirely rearranged. Regulus groaned, hiding under his pillow for several seconds before remembering his father’s words and the events of last night.

You will do as your family needs, to any length possible, lest you will have no family or magical ability at all.

Did they need him to be awake right now? Regulus couldn’t tell, but sleeping in is what Sirius would have done, so Regulus forced himself to sit upright and reach for the button that would call his friend the house elf to him.

“Master Regulus is awake” Kreacher observed as he entered the boys room minutes later.

Regulus nodded, though not enthusiastically.

“What’s for breakfast?” Regulus asked, uncertain of the time.

“What would the young master like?” Kreacher inquired. Regulus blinked curiously. The sun was out, he definitely didn’t wake up too early today. Usually there was a plan, a menu. Regulus didn’t often get to choose what he wanted if Mother and Father were already awake and making decisions.

“Did I oversleep?” Regulus asked.

Kreacher shook his head. “You are the first one awake, Sir.”

Regulus found that curious. It was unusual to be the first one up, to have to be the one to make the decisions. The boy pushed himself upright and waited for the room to stop spinning.

“What time is it?” Regulus asked as he continued to try and adjust to the world.

“Nearly half past nine, Sir.”

Strange. It was later than it usually was when they were supposed to wake. Regulus’s head still throbbed, he didn’t want to be awake or making decisions, but he had the innate sense that going back to sleep would be a mistake. The teenager groaned and rubbed at his eyes.

“Shall I have a meal made and brought up to you?”

“No, no I’ll get up.” Regulus murmured. His legs were heavy as they swung off of the bed, his feet aching as they felt the pressure of them pressing against the wood floor. Only after Regulus was standing did he realize he’d fallen asleep in the same clothes he’d worn to bed the night before. He felt disgusting, but he tried not to let that show. It was difficult, though. His mind felt sluggish and slow. This house was used to heavy energy, but everything felt heavier today.

“Can you find me an outfit please?” Regulus asked as he stretched into his bones and adjusted for the day.

It didn’t take the house elf long to find something for Regulus to change into. Kreacher could tell that Regulus wasn’t feeling his typical self, he made sure to pick out a soft shirt that wouldn’t constrict or scratch. He chose trousers with similar qualifications, snapping to change young master Regulus into his new clothes.

“Thank you, Kreacher.” Regulus mumbled. The house elf followed him as he shuffled down the stairs and into the kitchen. Regulus didn’t dare sit in the dining room. He stayed at the table in the pantry, where him and his cousins would eat as children when his parents had dinner parties.

“What can I make for you, Master Regulus?” Kreacher asked as he studied the young master.

Regulus shook his head, he didn’t really care. “Something simple.” He grumbled. “No porridge.”

“Coffee or tea?” Kreacher dared to ask. Regulus only grunted in reply, leaving the house elf up to his own devices to decide what the correct answer was.

Kreacher decided on both, and Regulus didn’t argue. He placed a perpetual warming charm on both pots, not wanting either to get cold. It wasn’t long after that Kreacher was approaching Regulus again with two dippy eggs and buttered toast point soldiers.

His movements were slow as he took his time to eat. Regulus didn’t pay attention to the movement around him. The house elves were quiet, they were good at being unseen, even while Regulus sat in the kitchen pantry and tried to sort out his thoughts.

He looked down at his arm, he remembered the vow he’d made last night. There was no mark, no symbol to remind him of his promise. If he closed his eyes and willed it hard enough, Regulus could almost forget that the vow happened at all.

He hoped that he could have forgotten about the entirety of last night with the same amount of willpower, but no matter how much he tried he had no such luck. Sirius’s screams echoed in the back of his head, his mother’s vitriol ran through the back of his mind. Regulus was glad he didn’t take breakfast in the dining room. If he had, he may very well have reexperienced the feeling of being thrown against the wall, he might have known what it felt like as Sirius choked and gasped for air.

You will do as your family needs, Regulus remembered for the second time this morning. Was killing their firstborn what the family needed? Did Regulus do the right thing by trying to save his brother?

These thoughts weren’t helpful, they weren’t productive, but today was stagnant enough that productivity felt like a waste.

If Mother was still resting, then practicing his piano wasn’t an option. That didn’t stop Regulus from entering the drawing room regardless. The furniture was rearranged how it should be, Kreacher and Thing must have rearranged the house back into place last night after everyone else had gone to bed. The room was clean, there were hardly any clues that anything adverse had happened the night before.

Sirius’s singed spot on the family tapestry was the only clue that something had gone wrong.

Regulus tried to read over the newspaper that had arrived before he’d woken, but none of the information felt important or relevant. The world Regulus woke up into today was an entirely different one from the one he’d been in the day before.

By the time Regulus heard stirring amongst the house, it was already mid afternoon. He couldn’t remember what he’d done for most of the morning. Trying to read was enough, but not much stuck inside his brain. It wasn’t until he saw his father approach that he realized he wasn’t alone in the manor.

“I have some business to attend to this afternoon.” His father explained. Rarely did he let Regulus know what he was doing, where he was going. Not in situations like this, not where it didn’t matter. But perhaps it did matter now, Regulus was go be the head of household when it was time to succeed his father.

Regulus nodded. “Okay.”

“I won’t be back for a while.”

Regulus nodded again.

“Don’t wait up.”

Regulus didn’t ask any further questions. He allowed his father to leave. He wondered when he’d return, he wondered what the business was, he wondered when his father got up or if Mother would leave her bed today.

The rest of that first day was quiet. Regulus found himself despising the day simply for its silence. It’s not as if the house hadn’t been quiet throughout the summer holiday, but there was at least motion throughout the house. Today was stagnant, threatening to trap Regulus within it.

Mother didn’t leave her room that day, Father didn’t return until late at night. Regulus did whatever he could to remain sane. Mostly, he read. Turning to his studies very rarely got Regulus in trouble. The more information he could obtain, the more useful he could be. Knowledge was power, and the Black Family loved power.

Regulus did his best to keep to himself for the days that followed as well. It wasn’t terribly difficult to do. While Regulus was the only child to attend to anymore, attending to him wasn’t necessary, and Mother and Father had so much else to attend to with Sirius’s absence. Regulus had established his self-sufficiency ages ago. His family could trust him to his own devices. He didn’t get in trouble, not really. He’d learned how not to get caught at an early age.

Regulus kept up with his correspondence; he wrote to his friends, he wrote to the doctor. He rearranged his room multiple times, he devoured the books in his collection, he took one or two from his father’s. He tried not to think about Sirius.

A week felt like a month. Everybody in the house moved through it as a pawn. Words were spoken, but they were hollow. Conversations dropped off earlier than they used to, nobody completely explained their position. Not until Mother announced that they would be going on a trip.

A trip may be an over exaggeration. A change of scenery is how Mother described it, but Regulus knew they were just going to their grandparents’ estate for a while. He couldn’t blame anyone for wanting to leave here. Sirius might not be a member of the family anymore, but the ghost of his memory remained.

“We’re leaving in two days. Make sure your trunk is packed.”

The instructions were simple enough. Having a trunk packed meant they would be spending more than a week, likely more than two in France with his grandparents. He wondered if his cousins would be joining them or if Regulus would be just as lonely in a manor with easily three or four times the space.

Mother and Father didn’t say much more about the trip until then. They didn’t say much more in general. Father had business to attend to, and Mother had quite a time abusing and ordering the house elves around to get ready for their trip. Regulus did as he was told, he continued reading his books, he made sure to pack his trunk for his trip.

He wasn’t sure why the idea stuck in the back of his mind, but as Regulus spent the week preparing his trunk, he couldn’t help but think about the trunk sitting locked up in the cold room at the end of his hallway. Regulus didn’t even know if Sirius made it to the Potters, he didn’t know what condition Sirius was in if he did make it there. Regulus had no idea if Sirius would ever need his trunk again, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He remembered the night it got locked forever. It was one of the nights Regulus wasn’t minding his business as well as he should be. He remembered Mother’s petulant pout, the scornful way she let Regulus know that Sirius had lost his privileges. No wand, Regulus knew. He wondered what else he wasn’t allowed. There could be nearly anything in there, but it was most likely Sirius’s most prized possessions. It was likely everything he would need for school the next year, if he manged to make it that far.

Regulus, while he had growing suspicions about the type of ‘treatment’ Sirius was subjected to, had very little information about what actually happened. Sirius was injured, Regulus knew. He remembered the flash of injury across the other’s back as Regulus brought Sirius a towel on the day he ‘ran away.’ He remembered the vision he shared with Sirius, and he could never forget the way Sirius screamed under his mother’s quick crucio. The amount of torture he’d survived that one night a week ago alone could be enough to significantly impact someone’s functioning. Regulus wondered if he’d ever see his brother again. He knew he wasn’t supposed to acknowledge that he had a brother anymore, but the ghost of Sirius’s memory remained firmly in Regulus’s mind.

It was selfish, his decision, Regulus knew that. It was selfish and it was risky, but he was feeling lucky today and if he didn’t try today then he wasn’t sure he’d get the opportunity again. He knew that selfishness could directly break his vow, but he’d spent many days thinking over the logic. Regulus had vowed to do what was best for his family. While he knew that his father had meant the representation of family that existed along their tapestry, Regulus knew that mere thought alone wasn’t enough to delegate lineage. Not really. Sirius was no less a pureblood for fraternizing with mudbloods and muggleborns. His social image may change, the house elves may no longer obey his commands, but his blood could still be used in ancient family protection spells, the science of the magic wouldn’t change just because Mother and Father wanted it to.

It’s not like his plan was going to harm the family, either. Not if he executed it well. All Regulus wanted to do was return Sirius’s trunk to him. His family didn’t need it, they didn’t even want it. Sirius’s room had been deemed closed, a memory of the past to forget about entirely. They weren’t supposed to go in and out of it anymore, it was the express wish of Mother that everyone forget the room ever existed. But the room couldn’t cease to exist, and Regulus still had to walk past the door every time he went to sleep.

The house was the busiest it had been in a while on the morning they were to leave for France. Mother was in her element, bossing Bug and Thing and Kreacher around as she prepared the family to holiday. Father had left last night, Mother and Regulus were to leave this afternoon.

“Regulus! Darling, are you packed and ready?” Mother asked as Regulus approached her late that morning.

“Nearly” He nodded.

Mother pursed her lips. Nearly wasn’t a yes. She wanted a yes. “Well?” She quipped. “What’s keeping you?”

It was a calculated decision, one he’d been engineering for over a day, but one he was confident he could pull off.

“I’ve been thinking about my classes next year.”

The comment threw her off, caused Walburga to pause and consider what her son had just said.

“How has that kept you from packing? We’re scheduled to leave in less than an hour!”

Regulus took a deep breath. He made sure his stature was unwavering, he made sure he looked confident. “I was simply wondering if I could run a few errands before leaving this afternoon?”

Regulus felt his mother’s eyes watching him, looking for any flaw or imperfection in his argument.

“I was hoping to get ahead in some of my textbooks for next year. And I received an owl from the doctor the other day. He’s recommended a few more books to further my studies.”

Walburga’s eyes narrowed to slits. She thought about his proposition, she studied each detail of her son. She thought for many moments, humming distastefully before tutting.

“Your father and grandparents are expecting you.” She reminded Regulus.

You will do as your family needs. Regulus knew he had expectations to live up to, he knew he needed to be what they wanted of him.

“I’m not asking for an entire day, Mother.” Regulus reminded her. “I am asking to go into town to look for some books. I promise you, I’ll be at the estate in time for dinner.”

Mother’s scrutiny wasn’t as difficult for Regulus to sit through, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have to be mindful of his posture and facial features. Her eyes were just as calculating as his father’s, her expression just as sharp and just as dangerous. There was just as much risk with Mother as there was with Father, but Regulus knew that Mother held him in higher regard than Father did.

The hand that found its way to Regulus’s chin, holding it in place while she looked into Regulus’s soul was cold and spindly. Her nails scraped against his skin and Regulus had to remember that this was his mother and not something more sinister holding him. His ability to remain level headed worked for him, though. Mother suspected nothing, and while her facial expression might still be one of slight disapproval, she was not punishing for his request.

“Make sure you’re presentable.” She ordered.

Regulus nodded at her request. “Of course.”

“Get a haircut.” She instructed.

Regulus had sort of liked his hair being slightly longer, but he understood why that was asked of him. Any longer and he would look too much like Sirius. His grandfather always hated Sirius’s long hair, and it was pertinent that Regulus not do anything to emulate the other. It was his responsibility to uphold his family’s values, their status, and while the elders still lived-their desires. A haircut was an easy and necessary way to show that, it was a simple sacrifice.

“Yes, Ma’am.” Regulus agreed. “Formal dress for our first dinner?” he confirmed, assuming the patterns of his grandparents hadn’t changed.

Mother’s smile bloomed across her face as Regulus showed his understanding of the rules, he had played his cards correctly. “Formal dress for every dinner, darling. Do make sure you’re packed accordingly.”

Regulus had no choice but to comply.

Mother left the house before Regulus did, that was by design. Her constitution had been diminished this past week, she was shorter tempered and less able to endure as much as she had once before. Regulus wondered if it had anything to do with how much cursing she had done to her own son, but he knew better than to wonder that aloud. Regardless, this meant that it wasn’t difficult for Regulus to stay in his room ‘packing’ for longer than she wanted to stay in this house. Kreacher stayed behind to finish the last of her demands, but Regulus trusted him more than the others. While still heavily dedicated to his mother, Kreacher was a friend. Regulus had regarded him as so for as long as he could remember.

Sirius’s trunk was heavy. Trunks were, by design, heavy. Regulus knew this, it wasn’t anything other than a fact of life. It didn’t change the fact that Sirius’s locked trunk was heavy as Regulus lugged it down the multiple flight of stairs into the drawing room. He double checked over everything in his possession. Regulus was dressed traditionally, as would be expected from his family when he arrived, but he wasn’t in dress robes by any means. His formal attire was tucked away in a bag inside the bag slung over his shoulder, tucked away in secret with an undetectable extension charm. Also inside the bag slung over his shoulder was a coin purse filled with gold, another small bag with floo powder, and his wand.

“That’s not your trunk.” Kreacher noticed, surprising Regulus as he hauled it into the large stone hearth.

“No, it’s not.” Regulus agreed shortly. “Mine is up in my bedroom. It should be packed sufficiently. Will you make sure it arrives to my chambers at the family estate accordingly?”

Kreacher grumbled, but both of them knew he couldn’t say no. “Where are you going with that?” the house elf dared to ask.

He’d only dared to ask because it was Regulus, and Regulus knew this. He wanted to satisfy the other with an answer, but Kreacher had been the one to teach Regulus about asking too many questions. Regulus wanted to smile at the irony but he didn’t. Nothing about today felt light enough to smile about.

“Best not ask questions you don’t want the answer to.” Without further explanation Regulus took a deep breath and prepared himself for today. This was risky, he knew. He wasn’t sure what he would find when he arrived at his destination, but just because Regulus followed the rules didn’t mean he wasn’t curious. The risk he took was calculated, and Regulus really hoped his math was good enough. Regulus dug into his bag, threw the floo powder onto the ground, and disappeared on his way to the Potter’s house.

The room that he tumbled into wasn’t small, but it was smaller than the room Regulus had just come from. Unlike the drawing room at Grimmauld Place, which was cold and unwelcoming. This room was well lit, it was warm, covered in family photos and knickknacks: cozy. The floors were carpeted and warm, not wooden or tiled, hard and unforgiving. The house was also quiet. It wasn’t quiet in the way that Grimmauld Place had been, with secrets passed between house elves and the expectation to be seen and not heard. It was quiet as in…..uninhabited.

Uninhabited may have been the best case scenario, outside of the implications of what that meant for where Sirius was. It meant that Regulus could drop in, set the trunk down, and leave. Nobody had to know he was here, and while it wouldn’t give Regulus any closure about the state of his brother Sirius, it would ensure his safety. Regulus didn’t need to pry into the Potter’s lifestyle, no matter how tempting it was to see just how different they lived. He just needed to drop this trunk off and leave. He very nearly succeeded, but James Potter was too quick.

He was confused, just as confused as Regulus was as he got caught standing in the center of the Potter’s living room with a trunk labeled SOB along the side. It was instinct, how both of them reached for their wands, poised and ready to duel if necessary.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” James asked. So brash and defensive, Regulus found himself on guard and threatened. He was prepared for this, but irritated that his task hadn’t been as easily completed as he’d hoped.

“Don’t worry, Potter, I was just leaving.” Regulus replied smoothly, standing up a fraction of a bit taller and taking a step towards the fireplace.

“Like hell you are. Explain yourself!”

Merlin, was he always this dramatic? Regardless, he’d shouted at Regulus twice now and there had been no commotion in the rest of the house. There were no footsteps, nobody calling out James’s name to ask what was wrong. James was here alone, he was relatively defenseless, was he scared? His eyes were wide, his breathing tense. He looked nervous. It wasn’t a typical look for the other, Regulus felt a little proud that he could make the other worry.

“Worried I’m here to finish off Mother’s plan? Don’t.” Regulus kicked the trunk, he looked down at it., then up at James. It seemed to take the other a moment to realize what had made the large thud noise that had tipped him off to Regulus’s arrival.

The tension in the room lessened as James recognized the trunk, as he realized that Regulus was doing some thing nice for Sirius. The energy in the room was damp, just as uncomfortable as a humid day where it was absolutely impossible to be dry, but the air of threat that existed a moment ago was waning.

“What are you doing with that?” James eventually asked.

Regulus rolled his eyes incredulously. “From what I’ve been told, you’re smarter than this, Potter. You have two functioning eyes and a brain, I presume.”

The tension that had previously dissipated returned, but for different reasons. Regulus was no longer a threat to James’s security, but to his ego.

“How did you know he was here?” James replied eventually.

“Who do you think sent him away?”

It was clear that James hadn’t thought about that. Regulus wasn’t sure whether he should be more concerned about James’s intellect or Sirius’s condition at the other’s response. The more that time passed, the more Regulus began to worry about the later.

“How is he?” Regulus questioned, perhaps outside of his better judgment.

James was still defensive, but he didn’t appear angry. Regulus’s question. Regulus’s admittance of helping Sirius get here was enough for James’s defenses to lower, for him to believe that some part of Regulus, no matter how small, cared for Sirius. The way he asked about Sirius’s condition did not seem superficial, though Regulus’s tone remained cold. Still, some part of James didn’t want to give up the information. Maybe he didn’t know how. It’s not as if it was an easy question to answer. James contemplated how to answer for a moment. He settled with:

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Wrong answer for Regulus. He hadn’t meant to react the way he did, he rarely meant to when he acted this way, but Regulus had wanted an answer and consciously or not he wasn’t going to leave until he got one. He glared at James, he thought about the question, he saw into James’s memory.

Sirius was sleeping. It was peaceful looking at first. He didn’t really look like he was in pain, though he looked just as small and as hollow as he had on the nights leading up to his departure.

“Do you think curse breakers take house calls?”

The memory changed quickly after that.

The gashes along his back were large and gummy with half dried blood and ointments. The hands working along the skin were not ones that Regulus recognized, nor was the voice that was humming while working. When Regulus did notice a voice he recognized, it was James.

“Are they getting any better?”

Regulus only got to look at the wounds for a moment through James’s memory, but he could see that they were worse than he’d originally thought. These were gashes, not just bruises and scratches like he’d hoped.

“Somewhat. It’s only been a few days, James. These are complicated wounds, they might take time.”

Regulus was kicked out of that memory and shot into one more.

“Absolutely nothing is fine! You expect me to parade around like everything’s fine tomorrow when this is what I’ll come home to?”

“I don’t want to argue this with you, James.” The man looking at the other must be James’s father. Regulus had never paid much attention to the Potters before.

“Then don’t!” James retorted. “He barely eats, he doesn’t speak, he sleeps all the time, he’s got these...gashes that aren’t fucking healing. He’s in pain and scared and sick. None of that is fine, don’t go around saying it’s fine!”

“I didn’t say it was fine! If he was alright we wouldn’t be consulting with healers right now. If it was fine he wouldn’t be like this. I know, James. Your mother and I, believe it or not, know these things. But what we also know is that you’re a child and you shouldn’t be responsible for him. You deserve a day to yourself, with your friends, doing something normal. Your mother and I can make sure he is safe and cared for without your help for one day, James.”

“No you can’t! And I don’t deserve that, I don’t want that. Nothing right now is normal!”

“You have to try and let it be!”

“I don’t have to listen to you!”

“Yes. You. Do!”

The last memory had ended in the kitchen, just down the hall from where the two boys were standing now. James’s eyes had grown wilder from the last moment Regulus remembered looking at them. His breath was more ragged, and he looked both confused and upset.

“What the fuck did you just do?”

Regulus hadn’t meant to do it, but it was good to know that he could utilize legilimency on more than just his brother Sirius. It was also dangerous for others to know of his ability just yet. Today had been a risk, and Regulus had already taken more risks than perhaps he should have. He didn’t need to be giving any more information to the other than he already had.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Regulus said with a straight face.

James blinked at him, unsure if he should believe the other’s lies.

Regulus sighed and shook his head, turning back towards the floo. He nearly made his way out of the house unnoticed, but froze when James spoke up again.

“You’re worried about him.”

Of course Regulus was worried about the other, but he wasn’t allowed to show it. He was the heir to the family now, he needed to put them at the forefront of his priorities, but even with that added responsibility Regulus couldn’t forget about the first person who ever protected him. He couldn’t help but worry about Sirius, as much as he wanted to hate him like the rest of his family so easily did.

And Regulus understood why his family disliked the older. Sirius was loud and unapologetic, he was impulsive and rarely ever saw things through. He was curious and open minded, all traits that weren’t horrible except for when he applied it to areas like Muggle Studies instead of investing in a magical domain. If Sirius would have continued as heir with the way he was acting, he wouldn’t have kept the Black Family values in line. Tradition was important, it is what had made the family strong. Tradition and ritual and secret, but Sirius would just as likely torn all of that down just for a joke, and Regulus knew the danger in that. He didn’t necessarily agree with his brother’s ways, he didn’t appreciate his recklessness or his brashness or his flair for the dramatics, but he would also never forget the beatings his older brother suffered for Regulus’s actions in their childhood. In some ways, his impulsivity and emotional liability had protected Regulus, allowed him to become the person he was today.

“I came to return what was his, nothing more.” Regulus responded coldly.

“Does your family know?” James asked before Regulus could leave.

He was more perceptive than Regulus wanted to give him credit for. The younger sighed and turned around to the other.

“What, are you going to hold it over my head if I tell you they don’t?” he questioned.

James shook his head. “Of course not.”

Regulus faltered, but he did his best to not let it show. It was hard, with James’s next question, though.

“Are you safe?”

Safe was a relative position, Regulus knew that. Safety didn’t exist as a definite, it was something that was always at risk of being lost. Context was highly important when discussing the topic of safety; Regulus was less safe here than he was at his family’s home or in London where he should be doing his shopping right now. Still, the way that James was concerned was…..interesting. Nobody had ever outwardly worried about Regulus’s safety in such a tangible way before. Nobody but Sirius, that is.

“I didn’t come here for your concern.” Regulus responded.

“What did you come here for, then?” James asked.

Regulus grunted, he looked back over at the trunk. “Like I said, I came to return what was his.”

“It’s not like, cursed or trapped or something, it is?”

Regulus tried to keep his mouth from twitching into a smile. Now James was starting to think realistically. Regulus couldn’t allow himself to outwardly smile, though, because honestly he didn’t know.

“I can’t say, I wasn’t the one who sealed it.”

James frowned. “Does it open?”

Regulus shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t been able to yet.”

“So you’ve tried?”

Regulus had already said too much. Yes, he had tried. He’d tried in the late hours of the night when Mother was asleep and Father was out. He’d tried detecting charms or curses or booby traps, he’d tried simple unlocking spells, but hadn’t had time to try anything more complex. He’d been too curious as it was, but he’d be lying to say he wasn’t still curious about it.

“Is there anything else I can help you with or can I get on with my shopping?” Regulus deflected. He wasn’t expecting James’s eyes to light up in the way he did.

“You’re going shopping?”

Regulus didn’t understand why that was so fascinating for the other but he regretted giving up that detail. He didn’t really want to know, if he was being honest. Regulus didn’t need to give James any more information than he already had. There was no need for him to be here any further. Regulus rummaged through his bag for his floo powder, taking a pinch and throwing it into the fireplace. He began to vocalize his location, he felt the green fire under his feet. Regulus was just about to disapperate up the floo when he felt at the very last minute a hand clinging on to him. James wasn’t finished. He was coming with.

“What the fuck?!” Regulus asked as the two of them tumbled out of the dusty hearth. Neither of them were stable on their feet as they landed at their destination. Regulus toppled to the floor, finding James on top of him, having fallen in the same way as Regulus had. “Get off me!”

Regulus pushed the other away and scrambled to his feet. “What are you doing?!” Regulus shouted.

“I wasn’t finished with you!”

“Excuse me?!” Regulus asked, shuffling himself farther way from the other, offended.

“Who’s there?”

It wasn’t until now that Regulus realized he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. He didn’t know where he was. What had this idiot done? Regulus thought. He didn’t have a lot of time to think, though. He needed to make sure they hadn’t managed to get themselves into someplace dangerous. Regulus drew his wand, his body on the ready to attack if necessary.

They weren’t in a familiar location, nor did they appear to be in a public place. The residence wasn’t well kept, nor did it look friendly. It held the same sort of energy that Grimmauld Place did. There weren’t taxidermy house elf heads along the wall like there were in Regulus’s residence, but there were other various creatures stuffed around the room. Regulus stayed quiet, he held his wand towards the voice and waited. James scrambled to his feet beside Regulus, he readied his wand as well.

“Who are you?” An old voice said as they rounded the corner and saw the two boys in their living room. The wizard facing them frowned, then readied his wand out. Regulus was ready to attack, but James was surprisingly quicker.

“Expelliarmus!”

Stupid, easy spell Regulus thought. A kindness that most didn’t deserve, a move that Regulus wouldn’t have thought to go to immediately. But regardless, Regulus found himself grateful for it as he watched the wand fly out of the other man’s hand.

“Who are you two?” The wizard asked. Regulus felt his heart racing in his chest, he did his best to steady himself, but that didn’t change the fact that everything about today had been ruined. He had no idea where he was, stuck with James Potter, with an unknown wizard watching them as a threat. Regulus wasn’t really thinking of anything other than to get out of this situation. He looked over at James, motioning for him to run.

The wizard opposite them took another step closer. Regulus acted on impulse. He raised his wand and yelled “Obliviate!”

The world seemed to pause for a moment. James stood slack jawed at the other, not moving in the way Regulus had motioned for him to. Regulus blinked, so did the Wizard.

“Who are you?” The wizard asked. Both of the boys panicked a bit.

“We…” Regulus began, wondering if his charm worked. “We are….”

“Your nephews!” James chimed in.

The wizard’s face turned from confusion to joy. Despite the fact that neither Regulus nor James looked much like each other nor the man they were visiting, the lie seemed to be believable to him. Either this man had already been insane, or Regulus’s memory charm worked, perhaps a bit too well.

“My nephews?” He asked, shuffling across the room and pulling them into a hug.

“Yes! W...Westerly and…...Princeton.” James improvised. Regulus gave the other the most absurd look, wondering where in the hell he had pulled those names from, and which one he was supposed to be.

“We were just passing through.” Regulus added as he regained his composure, not trying to stay here for too long. They were already in enough trouble. Regulus excused himself and moved towards a window, looking outside to be pleasantly surprised by what appeared to be Wizarding London below.

“To wish you a Happy Birthday!” James added. Regulus scowled at the other’s comment. Why was he trying to make this more complicated and difficult than necessary?

“My boy…..what happened to your shoes?”

Regulus turned to the others, noticing that James was standing barefoot-the only one out of the three. Regulus hadn’t tried to get to know Sirius’s friends too well, but in the last five minutes he’d spent with James he’d learned more than enough to understand why him and Sirius were so close. They were both just as recklessly impulsive and stupid. Charismatic is what Sirius would call it, but charisma without diplomacy was just foolery. There was no structure, it was an accident waiting to happen.

“I took them off when I got here, I was being polite.” James responded, lying easily.

“But like I said, we were just passing through.” Regulus reminded. “Why don’t you go find your shoes, cousin?”

“Oh, I’m sorry to see you go.” The unknown wizard replied as Regulus shooed James towards the exit.

“Don’t be sad, Uncle.” James replied, continuing to try and befriend the man as Regulus pushed him towards the door and placed a pair of shoes by the entryway in the other’s hand. “We’ll make sure to stop by next week! Take care!!”

Regulus pushed the two of them out of the flat and closed the door before the poor confused wizard could say his goodbyes.

“What the hell was that?” Regulus hissed at the other, pushing James against the hallway’s wall and moving past him and down towards the stairs.

“You’re asking me?” James replied with just as much quiet venom. He followed Regulus, the shoes he’d been given still in his hand but with no movement towards putting them on right now. “You’re the one who just took a man’s memory!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Regulus argued. “What was I supposed to do? He wasn’t supposed to see us!”

“You’re the one who took us here! You didn’t know who he was?”

“No” Regulus argued. “You were the one who adulterated it. Why did you jump on me? Why did you bring us here?”

James didn’t mean to bring them there, he didn’t know why this is where they ended up, if it was an intentional place or a fluke in the system.

“What’s the big deal?” James deflected. “He had no idea who we were.”

“And he still doesn’t.” Regulus reminded the other, stopping shortly as they approached the ground level. “Put your shoes on.”

“Wait up!” James called out, his mismatched and poorly fitting shoes clomping along the cobblestone and threatening to trip the other as he ran towards Regulus, who did not in any way wait for James to put his shoes on as he headed away from the other.

Regulus cursed that the robes he’d chosen for today were without a hood. No part of him needed to be associated with James Potter right now, despite the other’s insistence to ruin his plans. The risk Regulus taken today had been calculated, he hadn’t been as good at math as he’d thought. Regulus had tried ignoring James as he attempted to orient himself to which neighborhood or alleyway he was in. While Regulus didn’t give any attention to James, that didn’t stop the other from catching up to him and stopping him.

“What?” Regulus said pointedly.

“Where are we going?” James asked.

As if his heart wasn’t racing enough, James’s idiotic questions only managed to elevate his blood pressure even more. “We are not going anywhere. I am going on with my day.”

“To your shopping.” James responded.

Regulus groaned. “Yes, to my shopping.”

“Great!” James replied, falling in step with Regulus. He slowed as Regulus did, watching his face as it twisted in annoyance.

“You are not coming with me.”

“Sure I am! I’ve got shopping to do too.” James replied.

“No!” Regulus said, turning to James with more annoyance than he’d had before. He was more than annoyed, he was angry. “I can not and do not want to be seen with you, don’t you understand? Keep your distance!”

James stilled, his face fell. He looked at the other, he seemed lost in thought for a moment, he nodded. “Right.” So Regulus wasn’t safe. He couldn’t be seen with James. “Well, before I go….could you help me find Knockturn Alley?”

Regulus couldn’t tell if this was a prank or not. What would he be doing in Knockturn Alley, and why would he want Regulus’s help? What was he doing in a place like that if not to tail Regulus?

“No, I can’t.” Regulus sighed. “That’s not where I’m going.” he lied.

“Right.” James sighed. “Sorry for asking.”

James stayed in place while Regulus walked off, doing his best to reorient himself and move on with his day.

Breathe, Regulus, the boy told himself as he stormed through the streets, trying to find his way to where he wanted to be. He looked at his hands, he made sure they didn’t shake. He hadn’t ruined the day, not completely. He still had his magic, surely he would know if he’d lost it in the past twenty minutes or so. Taking Sirius his trunk was a stupid idea, he should have just let the other’s memory die like he was supposed to. Perhaps he wasn’t good enough to be the heir.

No. You won’t try, you will succeed. Do you understand?

Regulus pulled out his wand and did the most simple spell he could think of. “Lumos” he whispered, relieved to see the light appearing at the end of his wand. He hadn’t failed his family yet. He still had a family, he still had magic. Today had been a hiccup, but it hadn’t been a catastrophe.

It took Regulus nearly forty minutes to find Fourish & Blotts. Not as bad as it could have been. Checking the time, he could still manage his errands before dinner, but he couldn’t dawdle too much. That was difficult for Regulus, not to spend excessive time in a bookstore, but he reminded himself that his grandparents also had a library at their estate. He could manage to keep himself satiated even if he didn’t get to explore every corner of the store today.

He’d managed to pull suggested reading for Herbology, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Ancient Ruins, as well as his textbooks for Potions and Charms before he was interrupted by the all too familiar glasses and dark curls that had been following him today. Regulus glared at James from across the store, he tried to ignore the other, but he could feel James’s on him. James made his way closer and Regulus acted without thought again. He pulled James into a corner of the store, somewhere they could be relatively unseen, have half a moment of privacy.

“Stop stalking me.” Regulus whispered.

“I’m not trying to. This was one of my stops too.” James countered.

“I don’t believe you.”

The two of them stared at each other, waiting for the other to break first.

“What are you reading?” James asked, trying to take one of Regulus’s books from him. The other swatted him away, stealing a book that James had been holding in response. Magical Maladies and Remedies to Aid them, 3rd edition. Regulus’s face faltered, was this for Sirius?

“Rude.” James commented, snatching the book back.

“That’s not for school.” Regulus noted.

James tucked the book under his arm. “I’m interested in healing, sue me.”

Regulus frowned.

“What was that thing you did earlier?” James asked. Regulus scoffed.

“Obliviate, why? Did you want me to use it on you?”

“No” James growled. “The other mind thing you did.”

Legilimency Regulus thought, though he assumed James couldn’t hear him. He didn’t even know what the art was called. If his family was really a pureblood family, one that understood the power and importance in remembering old and ancient ways, he would have known better. But James wasn’t like the Sacred 28-he was too impulsive, lacking foresight to understand the way Regulus did.

“I was hoping this book would have something about it.” James replied. “I’m not sure if it will but….”

“Well, good luck with that.” Regulus commented. The book likely wouldn’t have anything about legilimency inside of it. It wasn’t a magical malady. There were side effects to certain techniques, but legilimency wasn’t a sickness at all, it was a tool. Regulus turned to leave the other again, but James, once again, had other plans.

“Are you sure you’re safe?” James asked for a second time today. The question didn’t surprise Regulus this time the same way it had before, but it made him angry nonetheless. He may be helping Sirius, sure, but Regulus didn’t need saving. He was doing just fine. He was doing as he was supposed to and was needed to.

“I’m fine. Are you sure you are?”

James frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Goodbye, Potter.”

“Wait!” James said, grabbing the other’s arm quickly. He looked around his surroundings quickly, grabbing a small leather bound notebook off of a nearby shelf. He pulled out his wand and cast a spell on it quickly before ripping out one of the pages and stuffing it in his pocket. He gave the notebook to Regulus. “Here. If….if you’re ever not safe or something, write to me, yeah?”

Regulus frowned, he refused the notebook. “No thank you.” Regulus turned on his heels and promptly left.

The bell that rang as Regulus entered the small curiosities shop along Knockturn Alley alerted only the cat that sat guard along the shop’s counter. Regulus had triple checked that James hadn’t followed him and he was rather certain that he’d managed to keep the other off his tail. Much like the bookstore, Regulus had to keep himself from looking at too many things. He was here for only a few items today, items that, if he were lucky, were already on reserve for him.

“How can I help you today?” The shop clerk asked. Regulus stepped closer to the man, who only had one eye to see from, and made himself known.

“I was told that there would be a few books on hold for me?” Regulus said.

“Mr. Black, of course! You’re the young lad Mr. E was telling me about.”

Regulus’s mouth twitched up into a small smile as he was recognized, it was a polite formality. He nodded. “He told me you would be a good vendor for the material I require.”

“Yeah, yeah. No problem. I’ve got the books you need. Do you have the money?”

Regulus chuckled. “I don’t believe price will be a problem, Sir.”

The books were much more ordinary than Regulus had expected for something worth nearly its weight in gold but he didn’t complain. They were bound in cloth, not leather, and no special lettering, foiling, or additional details adorned them. They were necessary education, though, and something his family could readily afford. While he wanted to begin reading them now, he had to wait. Exchanging most of the gold he’d packed for the day with the man, Regulus left the dark curiosities shop with two new books about mind reading and control wrapped plainly in cloth and stowed away in his ever expansive satchel.

What Regulus hadn’t expected to see was James Potter in a dark corner of the alleyway just ten yards from where Regulus left. Regulus didn’t see who he was with, other than a flash of shockingly light hair. He did see James pocket something and head towards him again.

“Try and engage with me one more time and I will hex you.” Regulus threatened in earnest. James looked like he was going to retort, but considered Regulus’s threat and didn’t say anything. He still fell in step with Regulus, but made sure to remain a few paces behind. Regulus huffed, but he only had his haircut left before he could leave for his grandparents house.

Regulus wasn’t sure whether to consider himself a lucky man or not. For he hadn’t been caught with James today, but he had been followed by the other incessantly. He’d made a stupid mistake and piqued James’s interest. He shouldn’t have tried to return the trunk, but he couldn’t go back in time and change his decision now. Not with any ease, that was, and he wasn’t yet sure if it was worth it to try. If he wasn’t caught, if there wasn’t threat to his vow, then he was fine. James had seemed to fall in line with his demands. He could get out of this alleyway in relative peace.

At least, he thought he could.

“Regulus?” The voice calling from behind him was easily recognizable as his tutor, the doctor. Regulus hadn’t expected to see him. While he was still in correspondence, he hadn’t stopped by the house since Sirius’s disapperance. Regulus felt a chill run down his spine. This man could see what Regulus had been up to today and he could report back to his family if he so wanted to. Regulus had to be careful, especially with James Potter three feet behind him.

“Don’t stop walking, don’t look back, don’t say anything.” Regulus ordered James, giving himself two more beats before turning around and facing the doctor. He smiled to the other, changing his direction.

Regulus didn’t turn to see if James did as he was asked, but based off of the doctor’s reaction it appeared that nothing was amiss. Regulus took a deep breath and solidified his thoughts. While legilimency was a way of seeing in, there were techniques for keeping others out. Those were just as important to learn, and while Regulus had even less practice with occlumency than he did legilimency, he did understand the theory and had no choice but to trust that would work well enough.

“Doctor.” Regulus replied as he approached the other and embraced him in a firm handshake.

“How are you doing, my boy?” The doctor asked, both of his hands covering Regulus’s, his voice warm and concerned for the other.

Concern was an emotion that always confused Regulus, he was never certain how to react to it, but he was socially skilled enough to know that right now he was supposed to smile and nod, look appreciative that the other seemed to care about him.

“I just picked up the books you recommended.”

The doctor’s smile was large and toothy. It was pleasant to Regulus, but he could see how the look would be disconcerting to someone with less relational safety. “Good, good. You’ll have to write to me with your opinions on them.”

Regulus nodded. “Of course, Sir.” They stood in the alleyway for another moment of pause before Regulus spoke again. “I wasn’t expecting to see you out today. You’re not working?”

“Not today.” The doctor replied, nodding in the opposite direction of where Regulus was headed a moment ago, signaling for the boy to follow him. “I thought a bit of retail therapy would be appropriate for today. Are you hungry? I was just about to find myself a snack.”

“I-” Regulus tried to relay that his time was budgeted today, but the doctor didn’t give him the opportunity.

“Of course you are. You look thin. Have those creatures been feeding you properly?”

“The house elves?” Regulus asked. The large clap on the back he got form the other was answer enough that he’d done right. He was directed into a small pub, shoveled into a booth by the door, and ordered for before he could respond even further.

“They’re feeding me fine.”

“And how are things at home?” The doctor inquired of his pupil.

“Busy” Regulus replied politely, doing his best not to question where he was or why he was here. “Mother is packing us up, we are to visit with my grandparents for a few weeks.”

“I heard there have been many changes in your household recently.”

That was an understatement, if anything, bur Regulus didn’t say that. “Which of my parents have you spoken to about it?” Regulus inquired.

A small look of upset crossed the doctor’s face, but he replied without malice in his tone. “Your father.”

Figured, Regulus thought. Mother wasn’t too happy with the doctor still. “I assumed.”

The doctor frowned. “I take it your mother is still upset with me?”

Regulus nodded. “She thinks he didn’t make progress quick enough.”

The doctor sighed, but he looked resound in his position. “She was eager for results and he was rather resistant.”

Regulus nodded again.

“Surely, as you grow in your studies you can help her understand that.”

Regulus didn’t like how the comment felt, but he agreed with the doctor regardless. He could help her understand, if he was supposed to understand more. And regardless of if she agreed about this doctors abilities to reshape her son, she still agreed that legilimency and its related fields were an important and powerful skill to have, and the doctor was renowned as one of the best in the area.

“Speaking of, have you made any progress in your studies since we last spoke?”

Regulus thought about the answer. Technically he answer was yes, but it was still inconsistent. He could feel the doctor’s prying eyes on him. Giving an answer verbally was better than making the doctor impatient and risk him snooping in Regulus’s mind. He nodded, watching the doctor’s face turn up in pleasant surprise.

“It’s not consistent, though.” Regulus defended.

“That’s alright, child. Tell me what you saw.” The doctor prompted.

“Oh….just…”

“I’m sorry, Doctor Hemlock?” The two of them were interrupted by the waitress who had been so attentive to the two of them when they first walked in. With the familiarity she seemed to have, Regulus assumed the doctor frequented this place. Both of them turned their attention to her.

“Can this wait, darling?” The doctor asked.

The woman shrugged, handing the doctor a piece of blue parchment stamped with the St. Mungo’s logo in gold. The woman left them to their devices, Regulus watched as the doctor unrolled the message for him and allowed his eyes to grow wide. It was something important, Regulus knew that not only by the abnormal coloration of parchment but by the way the doctor seemed to react to the news he’d urgently received.

“I’m so sorry, Regulus. We must finish this conversation another time. There’s been quite an accident at the hospital, it seems I’m needed for the cleanup.”

“An accident?” Regulus asked. The doctor was already standing up, gathering his things and heading towards the hearth at the end of the hall. Apparation wasn’t allowed in government buildings, hospitals, or Hogwarts, but the prior two had easy access by floo.

“I’ll have to tell you all about it later, my boy. It seems someone’s managed to pull a nasty prank on my crew. Give my regards to your family.”

Regulus nodded. He waved awkwardly as he watched the doctor leave, relieved that he didn’t have to spend more time under somebody’s scrutiny. All day he’d been under someone else’s watchful eye. Regulus checked the time, he stood up to leave too. The day had gotten past him entirely too quickly. There was a time difference at his grandparents house that he’d almost nearly forgotten about. Regulus had just nearly an hour to clean up and present to his grandparents for another multiple weeks of watchful scrutiny.

He reached through his bag to leave a gold coin on the table for the waitress’s trouble but stopped when he felt something out of place. Regulus grabbed the item, pulling out the small leather notebook with a page ripped out that he’d declined as a favor earlier.

That sneaky bastard, Regulus thought to himself, reflecting briefly on all of the events of his day that he hadn’t yet begun to process. He sighed. What the hell have I gotten myself into?