Pain
Severus was furious. He couldn’t grasp how that headmaster, the man who had promised to keep Lily's child safe could sit in his chair ever so calmly, acting as if the young Gryffindor hadn’t just lost his last safe shelter. When the gargoyle had spun around and revealed the staircase, the potions master had been too focused on keeping Harry calm and didn’t notice the coldness that was glooming in the old wizards eyes. If Snape hadn’t seen him in the dungeons he would’ve believed Potter to be more than fine, even calm. It was only the slight tremor in his hands that gave insight into his emotional state. Dumbledore had gestured them both towards the wooden armchairs and while Harry gladly took that offer, the teacher stopped behind the chair, preparing himself for the worst. “Harry my boy…I am so infinitely sorry for what happened tonight. If I had known I would have brought your aunt and uncle to one of the orders safe houses.” The headmasters once so cheerful voice now sounded hoarse. When the teenager didn’t react he continued speaking. “For now, you will stay at Hogwarts and continue with your classes. Before summer break starts I want you to have come up with a plan on where you will live. While you may have inherited your godfathers house you may not live there. I have been planning to continue holding the Orders meetings there and having so many people walk in and out every day would be a great danger, to all of us.” Harry’s ears were ringing. His cheeks felt numb and his legs would have given out if he hadn’t been sitting in a chair. He was about to start speaking when he was interrupted by Snape. “Headmaster, I believe it is not wise to let Potter make such an important decision on his own. While I am aware of the difficulties of finding a new place to live, I am under the impression that a mere child cannot grasp the full extent of the current situation.” his voice sounded strained but had an unusual soft hint. “I will figure it out.” The boy emphasised every single word before standing up and hurrying out of the room so fast Severus almost believed he had apparated out of the office. Shooting one last angry glare at his boss, the potions Professor started his sprint in the direction of his student.
Harry couldn’t believe his ears. Dumbledore must have made a really bad joke or mixed things up. He would never say something like that, would he? He thought the headmaster liked him- cared about him. He just wanted to disappear. Leave his body, hide somewhere and never be found. He kept walking, faster and faster until his legs were giving out. But he continued. Step after step, staircase after staircase until he found himself standing inside the room of requirement. The sound of the cape Harry had heard billowing behind him was long gone, the only thing he could hear was silence. What had once been a room equipped to practise defense now looked like a cozy bedroom. The fireplace was burning, the wooden four poster bed was covered in blankets and pillows and in front of the window was a small nook, also filled with blankets, pillows and books. The boy let out a desperate laughter. The room he was standing in felt warm and welcoming and turned the burning anger in his chest into a longing. A longing that was straining him, crying out to be released. Deep down he knew what he wanted, knew what he needed. Arms that held him. Fingers that ran through his hair. A soft voice that whispered calming things into his ear. But Harry knew he would never get that. No one would hold him like that. No one would want to. And still, there was this longing. This longing that made him drop to his knees onto the red carpet, tears streaming down his cheeks. He billowed his head towards the floor, holding a hand above his mouth to quieten the sobs. His body was shaking and his breathing was ragged, forcing him so collapse onto his side. His face was laying in a small puddle of tears and all the teenager could feel was pain. Pain filling up his chest, spreading into his fingertips. Making him feel like everything he would touch would become filled with his pain. Harry’s sobs were filling the room, creating a vacuum of pain that blocked out the noise created when the door screeched open. Looking down at the raven haired child was the tall potions Professor who believed his heart had been ripped out from the sight in front of him. He kneeled down, pushed one arm beneath the child’s legs and the other beneath his armpits and lifted him off the floor. Severus felt the blood leave his face the moment he realised how light the teenaged was. He knew that Potter had always been a thin child but he never thought to be able to lift him so easily. Despite the grip on his body Harry started trashing inside his teachers arms. He wanted to push him away, make him drop the boy onto the ground and leave him to suffer in peace. But the longing in his chest won when a silent “Hush child, we’ve been here before. Relax.” made its way into his ears. The boy was too exhausted to protest. Too exhausted to even move away from the man and so he stayed where he was, inside the arms of his potions Professor.
The man walked towards the nook where he placed the both of them onto the carpet. He first adjusted the Gryffindors legs and then his upper body so his face was on the same level as Severus’ chest. Then he pulled his cloak around the child, sensing he would want some privacy. The moment the makeshift curtain had been pulled shut Harry turned his face towards the man and continued sobbing. He was still feeling more pain than he could bear but it was slowly being replaced by the warmth building up in his chest. It was unfamiliar. His chest felt warm and was tingling and he felt the muscles in his arms and legs relax slightly. “You are safe here, no one will hurt you. Not even Dumbledore with his stupid plan.” Snape whispered. Just like earlier in the dungeons he was rocking the boy back and forth, hoping to bring him back into reality. He hated seeing him like that but he knew that there was no other way than to sit through the episode and wait for things to change. When he felt Harry nod his head against his upper body, Severus was certain he would be in here for a long time. The child was too distressed to communicate and the Slytherin didn’t want to push him over his limits. Settling on whispering soothing words the two stayed like that until midnight rolled around.
“Harry?” The raven haired boy hummed slightly. “Do you think you are ready to be escorted into your dormitory?” He shook his head. Leaving that comfortable position and erasing the warm, fuzzy feeling inside his chest felt deadly to him. Gryffindors dormitories would never be able to recreate that feeling he needed more than ever. “While I do enjoy your company you and I both have classes tomorrow morning. It would be the best if we got a few hours of rest.” Snape replied. But the teenager didn’t want to leave. “There’s no sense in going to classes! Neither tomorrow nor ever again!” he answered furiously. He felt like Severus was pushing him away, was trying to get rid of him as soon as he could because he had figured out how complicated Harry was. Readjusting his grip on the child the man took a deep breath and tried to keep himself calm. “That might seem appealing right now, considering your current situation may make you feel hopeless, however there is no reason to throw away your life. Dumbledore might not have a plan, but I do, Harry. There is still enough time until summer break starts. As I stated before, my door is open for you. Not only during the term but also during summer. We will find a new home for you.” His voice was stern but deep down Harry knew he meant well. He gathered up his courage, pushed himself out of the man’s embrace and looked into his eyes. “Will you stay? Or will you leave just like everybody else did when they realised my life is too complicated?” Snape couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “Though I am a very skilled potions master, death is not inevitable. That said, yes Potter. You will not get rid of me any time soon. Now, unless you wish to fall asleep during class again, I recommend you attend to your common room soon.” Harry chuckled. This was probably the closest confirmation he would get. For now it was enough. For now Harry knew that the black haired man wouldn’t leave his side willingly. He hoped it would stay like that for a long long time