
The Boggart; The capable Defence professor
Draco had taken a habit of being late to classes and using his arm as an excuse; For someone who claimed he was perfectly alright, it seemed that it was constantly aching and he 'just had to see Madam Pomfrey for a potion,' and it was just conveniently whenever he thought a class was boring. He kept the sling on for days afterward, groaning whenever anyone was near. But the moment it was just him and Harry, it was the last thing on his mind; infact, he behaved as though the sling were inconveniencing him.
He had come particularly late on Thursday morning however, when the Slytherins and Ravenclaws were halfway through double potions. He swaggered into the dungeon, looking like he'd spent the whole morning getting ready. His hair looked more groomed than normal, if even possible. All the Slytherins had turned their heads and started asking him all types of questions.
"Settle down, settle down," said Professor Snape idly.
Harry saw that Padma had been positively seething. Had any of them walked in late, they'd have gotten atleast a week of detention; However, it was anything but a secret that Professor Snape favoured the Slytherins, and was head of Slytherin House. It were very few times like these that made Harry wonder how different things would be if he let the Sorting Hat choose Slytherin.
They had been making a new potion today, a Shrinking Solution. Draco set up his cauldron right next to Harry's, and instead of working, had started up a conversation.
"Snowflake, you've got to do your work,” Harry whispered, squinting to read the next instruction of his potion. “As much as Snape favours your House, I doubt even you'd get away with not having a potion."
"Fine-- sir," Draco called, "I'll need help cutting up these daisy roots, because of my arm--"
"Turpin, cut up Malfoy's roots for him," Snape said without even looking up.
Lisa had looked befuddled. "You said there was nothing wrong with your arm!" She mouthed angrily, cutting up the daisy roots unevenly.
"Draco, I meant you do your potion." Harry corrected. "On your own."
"But Floppy," whined Draco, and Padma began giggling.
"We've done the nickname tactic, it doesn't work on him." She advised, smiling brightly. “Trust us. He just has way too much willpower now.”
"Sure you have." Draco responded, rolling his eyes.
Padma's smile faded quickly when she saw the look on his face. "Hey-- wait. Wa- w-what do you mean by that?"
Draco ignored her question; He placed his face in his palm and gave Harry a coy smile. "Please, Floppy? I won't do it anymore for the rest of the day-- actually, as long as I have this thing on-- I'll do everything myself after this class," he said, still keeping the grin on his face.
Harry thought he was nearly immune to the hopeful faces after all of first year, when Lisa really didn’t like doing her own homework and Padma had a hard time coming up with her own essays, but something about seeing Draco, who was hardly ever anything but stoic, smirking, or grimacing as he drawled- which he did a lot - made his stomach do a weird flip. Very suddenly, his face and ears were burning, and before he knew it, he said--
"Fine, but I'm serious-- no more using your arm to get away with stuff."
"Told you it wo-- what?" Padma stumbled on her words. It was now her turn to look befuddled. "Lisa-- he just-- h-he did the nickname tactic--"
"And got away with it, yes, Padma, I can see that," said Lisa, still roughly chopping up Draco's daisy roots. She was looking at him very clear anger.
"Professor, Turpin's mutilating my roots," he called out when he noticed.
Snape approached their table, stared down his hooked nose at the roots, and gave an incredibly unpleasant smile.
"Swap roots with Malfoy, Turpin."
She gasped, her mouth retaining the shape of an 'o', and she looked like her entire face would turn pink in mere seconds.
"Yes, sir." She said through gritted teeth, pushing her much neater cut roots across the table.
"And sir, I'll need this shrivelfig skinned," Draco said.
"Potter, you can skin Malfoy's shrivelfig," said Snape, giving Harry the ever familiar look of loathing.
"But he cant even see his own instructions, sir." Draco denied quickly. Padma was beginning to look a bit ticked off, already knowing what was going to happen. "I don't want him doing it."
"Patil," Snape barked at Padma.
"Hand me your shrivelfig, Malfoy." She said sharply, frowning.
"You're lucky you're one of Harry's best friends, because I'd give you a real injury to cry about, you and your stupid favouritism..." she grumbled as Snape walked away.
"Hey, I promised this was the last class," Draco shrugged, "and I’m using my time outside of class to write to my father. It wasn't easy, you know, convincing him to not have the school board fire Hagrid. He's not happy about it at all. He’s already complained to the school governors, and the Ministry of Magic-- Lyra's got him in a chokehold, she thinks Hagrid should've been out that minute... bet she'll be crying to mum real soon too..."
"So you're trying to convince us that you're all in the right here because you're the one whose kept Hagrid from being out of the school? As if he would be sacked, anyway. And- look, just because you've got Harry under your thumb doesn't mean we'll get over it that quickly--"
Harry hadn't been paying attention to Padma's rambling; A few cauldrons down, Amanda had been staring into her potion with a deep frown. Regularly, she had been very silent and rather well-behaved, but apparently, the Slytherin at her table, Katrina Spinks, hadn’t been in a very good mood. The potion, meant to be a bright, acidic green, had instead been--
"Blue, Snuffleft," snarled Snape, ladling some up and letting it drop back into the cauldron. It looked more purple than blue, Harry thought. But maybe he’d stick with blue-- purple was further away from green.
"Blue. Tell me, Snuffleft, is it that hard for you to accomplish a simple potion? Not only are you missing crucial ingredients, you’ve added ingredients not even necessary in the brew."
Amanda, for perhaps the first time Harry could remember, went very red with evident rage, and her ears, long and thinly pointed and typically low, perked up and went red too. "But sir! She's been taking all my supplies, and she dropped lacewing flies in my potion! I haven't seen my cutting knife the entire class, and I know that's my scale she's been using because it had my name engraved on it! And I don’t even know her!"
"Excuse me? I would never! I may have taken your scale, but that was it!" said Spinks sharply. The large grin Harry could see she was hiding gave her away very easily-- she was lying. "The lacewing flies isn't my fault! That was on you! I didn’t--"
"You did! I watched you--"
"Oh, please! I haven’t got a single lacewing fly--"
"Because you dropped them all in my cauldron!"
"I did not! I didn't even--"
They had been arguing for atleast another minute before Anthony leaned over to their table. "Hey, have you heard the news?"
"What news?"
"Daily Prophet said it this morning-- they say Black's been sighted."
"Where?" asked all four of them.
"Not too far from here," said Anthony, borrowing Draco's cutting knife. "It was a Muggle that saw him. Y'know, she didn't really understand it all, an' they think he's just a normal criminal. So she phoned the 'telephone line', whatever that is-- by time the Ministry got there, Black was gone."
"Not too far from here..." Padma repeated slowly, and turned to look at Harry
"Hermione's going to throw a fit, I bet." said Lisa. She was trying her best to fix up the daisy roots, but it was looking like a lost cause.
"She might throw a bit more than a fit," Harry said, and at that moment, Snape called, "You should be finished adding your ingredients by now; This potion needs to stew before it can be drunk, so clear away while it simmers... I think we'll test Snuffleft's."
Amanda had lost all her fury at once and gone a pale green. She looked very tense and rather sickly- her ears, very high only a moment ago, returned to being very, very low.
Padma came up with a peculiar idea at the stone basin as they washed their hands and ladles. "Don't think he's gonna make her use it on her cat, do you?"
"That’s morbid- but,” Harry paused. He wouldn't put it against Snape, but he'd probably lose patience before she could even leave the dungeons to retrieve her cat. “She hasn't got anyone helping her fix whatever Spinks did, and she'd have to start over entirely for any chance... I doubt it'll be her cat, though."
"Yeah... ugh, bet he's gonna try it on some poor spider he finds on the floor if he doesn't shove it down her own throat. Poor Amanda."
The end of the lesson grew nearer, and Snape strode over to Amanda, who had been looking more sick than before. It looked as though she was having trouble breathing and was still staring at her potion with evident disdain.
"Everyone gather 'round." Snape said, "and watch what happens to this spider. If Snuffleft's potion isn't deadly, it will shrink to the size as of when it was born. If the potion is deadly... we'll see what happens then."
The Ravenclaws were incredibly fearful, but many of Slytherins, if not somewhere between disgusted and fearful, had been looking ecstatic.
"I knew he'd use it on some floor spider!" mumbled Padma as Snape doused the spider in a spoonful of the blue-purple potion.
There was a moment of silence, before the spider started squirming imminently. There was a screech that sounded quite loud in the silence, the spider plopped over onto its back, and--
"Dead. Twenty points from Ravenclaw, Snuffleft. Class dismissed."
Harry, Lisa, Padma, Luna, and Draco climbed the stairs to the entrance hall. When they had gotten to the Great Hall, Hermione ran up to them, carrying all the books for her classes and dragged behind a torn bag.
"Harry! Harry, do you have your spare bag? Mine's ripped and the repairing spell isn't doing anything," she asked quickly.
“Did you do it wrong?”
“No, I didn't do it wrong-- I don't do spells wrong! And it's worked before, so I can do it! Just- do you have your bag or not?”
"Alright, sorry, yeah, I do."
"I dunno why she's carrying all her books with her when she hasn't got most of her classes today." said Ron, joining them.
"It's Granger, it'd be more questionable if she didn't," Draco said. “What class is next?”
"We've got Defence," said Luna. "I believe you have Ancient Runes. You might want to hurry- I don't think she'll be entirely fond of you using your arm to get out of class."
Lupin wasn't in class when they arrived for his first Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson. They had sat down, gotten out their books, quills, and parchment, and there was a fair amount of chatter when he finally entered the class. He smiled vaguely and placed the tatty briefcase on the teacher's desk. He was shabby-looking as ever, but looked healthier than he had on the train.
"Good afternoon," he said. "Would you please all put your books back in your bags. Today's will be a practical lesson. You will need only your wands."
There was a louder murmuring as the class put away their books. Reasonably, however; They had never had a practical Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson before, save for when their teacher the previous year had set lose a cageful of cornish pixies.
"Right, then," said Lupin when everyone had put away their things. "If you'd all follow me."
Struck with puzzlement and interest, the class followed Lupin out the classroom. He led them along the deserted corridor and around a corner, where the first thing they saw was Peeves the Poltergeist stuffing the nearest keyhole with chewing gum.
He didn't look up until Lupin was mere feet away; Then he wiggled his odd little feet when he spotted him and broke into song.
"Loony, loopy Lupin!" he screamed joyously, and he began to sing, "Loony, loopy Lupin, loony, loopy Lupin-"
As rude and chaotic as he always was, Peeves usually paid some respect to the teachers. Everyone's eyes had been on Lupin to see how he'd take it. To their surprise, he still had a bright smile.
"I'd take that gum out of the keyhole if I was you, Peeves," he said pleasantly. "Mr Filch won't be able to get into his brooms."
Filch was the horribly bad-tempered Hogwarts caretaker, failed wizard who couldn't do magic and waged a constant war against the students, as well as Peeves. But Peeves paid no attention to Lupin's words, and instead blew a very loud raspberry.
Lupin gave a small sigh and took out his wand.
"This is a useful little spell," he told the class over his shoulder. "Please watch closely."
He raised his wand to shoulder height, said, very lightly, "Waddiwasi!", and pointed it at Peeves.
With the force of a bullet, the wad of gum shot out the keyhole and flew right up Peeves's nose; He gasped and choked-- he whirled around, and the class got a bare glimpse of the gum still stuck up his nose before he went zooming away, cursing.
"Amazing," said Dean Thomas over the oohing crowd.
"Thank you, Dean," said Lupin, putting away his wand. "Shall we proceed?"
The class set off again, looking at Lupin with a newfound increased respect. He led them down a second corridor before stopping just outside the staffroom door.
"Inside, please," said Lupin, opening the door and standing back.
The staffroom, a long, paneled room full of dark and old mismatched chairs, was empty, save for a single teacher. Professor Snape was sitting in a low armchair and looked around as the class filed in. His eyes were glittering and a nasty sneer on his face. As Lupin came in and went to close the door behind him, Snape said, "Leave it open, Lupin. I'd rather not witness this."
He got to his feet and strode past the students, his robes billowing behind him. At the doorway, he turned flat on his heel and said; "Possibly no one's warned you, Lupin, but this class contains both Neville Longbottom and Amanda Snuffleft- the most incompetent students at the simplest subjects. I would advise you to keep them from doing anything too... difficult."
Either one of the two went a bright red. Harry scowled at Snape. He could get over Snape being a jerk in his own classes, but doing so infront of other teachers was just excessive. Neville hadn't done anything wrong.
Lupin had only raised his eyebrows.
"Well, I was hoping that the two of them would assist me with the first stage of the operation," he said, "and I am sure they both will perform it just perfectly. My classes will be much easier than how you teach Potions."
Snape's lip curled, but he left without a word, shutting the door with a snap.
"Yes, well, now then," said Lupin, beckoning the class to the end of the room, where nothing but an old wardrobe stood. When he went to stand by it, the wardrobe gave a sudden wobble, banging off the wall.
"Nothing to worry about, I assure you," Lupin said calmly, seeing as a few students jumped backward and others took subtle steps back. "There's just a boggart in there."
Most of the class did not feel more relieved at knowing what it was.
"Boggarts like dark, enclosed spaces," explained Lupin. "Wardrobes, the gaps beneath beds, the cupboards under sinks-- I've even met one that had lodged itself in a grandfather clock. This one moved in yesterday afternoon, and I asked the headmaster if the staff would leave it to give my third years some practice.
"Now, first question we must ask ourselves; What is a boggart?"
Hermione raised her hand promptly.
"It's a shape-shifter," she said, "it takes shape of what it thinks will frighten us most."
"Couldn't have put it better myself," said Lupin, and Hermione smiled. "The boggart sitting in the darkness has not yet assumed a form. He does not yet know what will frighten the person on the other side of the door. Nobody knows what a boggart looks like when he is alone, but when I let him out, he will immediately become whatever each of us most fears.
"This means," Lupin continued, choosing to ignore the already frightened students before him. "that we have a large advantage over the boggart before we begin. Have you spotted it, Harry?"
Harry, who hadn't been paying very much attention and trying his best to finally rid himself of his headache, had to take a moment to realise what Lupin was talking about. He didn't call him-- Harley. It was his name on the role-- maybe another teacher had told him already? But Harry decided he'd better answer Lupin's question first--
"Because there are so many of us, the boggart won't know what it should be?"
"Precisely," nodded Lupin, "It's always best to have company when dealing with a boggart. He becomes confused. Which should he become-- a headless, loved-one's corpse or a flesh-eating slug? I once saw a boggart make that very mistake-- tried to frighten two people at once and turned himself into a staggering body with a slug for a head. Not even remotely frightening.
"The charm that repels a boggart is simple, yet it requires force of mind. You see, the thing that really finishes a boggart is laughter. What you need to do is force it to assume a shape that you find amusing.
"We will practise the charm without wands first. After me please.... Riddikulus!"
"Riddikulus!" The class said together.
"Good, good," said Lupin, nodding. "Very good. But that was the easy part, I'm afraid. You see, the word alone is not enough. And this is where you two come in, Neville and Amanda."
The wardrobe shook once more, but Amanda and Neville had been shaking much more. Neville had taken a few steps, but Amanda had been frozen in place for a few moments before she did the same.
"Right," said Lupin, "First things first-- what would you two say frightens you the most in the world?"
Neville looked like he was speaking, but the silence in the room said otherwise. Amanda had been stammering out a barely understandable answer.
"Ah, yes, I see, Amanda… but Neville, I didn't quite catch that." Lupin said cheerfully. Apparently he knew what Amanda had said, which was rather shocking.
Neville looked around frantically, and Amanda looked more calm, oddly enough.
"Professor Snape." Neville said after a moment, in barely more than a whisper.
Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville himself grinned apologetically. Lupin had looked very thoughtful on the other hand.
"Professor Snape, you say? And Amanda, you said rats... Neville, let's do you first. I believe you live with your grandmother, yes?"
"Er-- yes," nodded Neville. "But I don't want the boggart to turn into her either." he then added.
"No, no, you misunderstand me," Lupin insisted, now smiling. "I wonder-- could you tell us what sort of clothes your grandmother usually wears?"
Neville, although startled, nodded before speaking again. "Well... it's always the same hat. A tall one with a stuffed vulture on top. And a long dress... green, normally... and sometimes a fox-fur scarf."
"And a handbag?" prompted Lupin, smiling rather brightly.
"A big red one," Neville clarified.
"Right then," Lupin voiced. "Neville, I want you to picture those clothes very clearly. As if your grandmother were standing before you. Now, Amanda, what do you find funny?"
Amanda dropped her head so low that her bangs covered her eyes, and then she snorted. "I find Harry's niffler quite funny. She just always finds me whenever I least expect it that she's managed to break out-- it's delightful, actually. It's even funnier when he comes looking for her every now and again and finds her hanging off a candelabra or trying to steal someone's jewellery."
Most of the other Ravenclaws in the class, who had also had their things taken by Sly very regularly, had laughed.
"Perfect," nodded Lupin, "Both of you, imagine those things in your heads. Amanda, think of the niffler, and Neville, your grandmother's clothes.… Can you two see those in your mind?"
Both of them nodded.
"When the boggart bursts out this wardrobe, I would like both of you to stand together, but one of you step before the other and let it transform into what you fear." Lupin explained.
"I'll go first," declared Amanda, and Lupin nodded. "You will raise your wand-- thus-- and cry 'Riddikulus'-- and concentrate hard on what you find amusing. If all goes well, we will see a niffler, and when Neville goes up, Professor Boggart Snape wearing the clothes of Neville's grandmother. Vulture-topped hat, green dress, and that red handbag."
There was a shout of laughter. The wardrobe wobbled more violently.
"If they are both successful, the boggart is likely to shift his attention to each of us in turn," Lupin said, disrupting the laughter. "I would like all of you to take a moment to know think about the thing that scares you most, and imagine how you might force it to look comical...."
The room had been dead silent. Harry wondered; What did scare him the most? He couldn't think of anything at first.
But then he thought of Lord Voldemort-- a version of Voldemort returned to full strength. But before he could even imagine how Voldemort may look, not as a young Tom Riddle-- who he had been before he became Voldemort-- or attached to someone else's head, an image came floating into his mind...
A dementor-- dark, horrifying... much like death... and then the cold, and the feeling that you were drowning... the one that attacked him on the train was the sole cause of his headache that felt as though it never- never - went away.
Surely that was what he feared most. There was nothing else that made him so scared. He looked around-- many people had their eyes shut. Ron was muttering about spiders, certainly... Hermione and Padma looked very tense, Lisa had been shivering... Luna looked quite confused, like she didn't really know what she feared.
"Everyone ready?" asked Lupin.
No, Harry thought. How would you go about making a dementor less frightening? But he decided to do what he did best-- keep quiet-- since everyone else had been nodding and rolling up their sleeves.
"Neville, Amanda," said Lupin, "we're going to back away... give you two a clear field. Once they're done, I'll call the next person forward... everyone back now..."
Amanda had suddenly looked incredibly anxious, as if just now realising where she was, but held her wand ready and pointed at the wardrobe.
"On the count of three, Amanda, and then you, Neville..." said Lupin, pointing his own wand at the handle of the wardrobe. "One- two- three- now!"
The door flew open. A small rat, very similar-looking to Scabbers, climbed out the wardrobe. Amanda squealed, and shouted-- "Riddikulus!"
There was a loud whip-crack, and Sly had been standing in the place of the rat. Amanda dove out the way, and Neville came into the boggart's view.
Crack!
Professor Snape had suddenly appeared, hooked nose and greasy hair, his eyes flashing at Neville.
"R- R- Riddikulus!" Neville squeaked out.
Boggart-Snape stumbled over his own feet; He was wearing a long, lace-trimmed dress and a towering hat topped with a moth-eaten vulture, and swinging a huge crimson handbag from his hand.
The class roared with laughter, and the boggart paused, confused, just as Lupin called out, "Parvati! Forward!"
Parvati stepped forward, looking quite fierce. There was another crack, and where Boggart-Snape stood, a bloodstained, bandaged mummy took his place. It turned to Parvati and began to walk towards her, groaning, dragging its feet along, arms raised...
"Riddikulus!" She yelled out. The mummy's foot unravelled, it became entangled, and its head flew right off as it fell head first.
"Seamus!" Shouted Lupin.
Seamus Finnigan stepped forward, darting past Parvati.
Crack! Where the collapsed mummy once stood was a woman with floor-length black hair and a skeletal, green-tinged face-- a banshee. She opened her mouth wide, and an unearthly sound filled the room, a long, wailing shriek that made Harry's ears ring.
"Riddikulus!" shouted Seamus. The banshee made a horrible rasping noise and clutched her throat; her voice was gone.
More people went up for their turn-- Crack! The banshee turned into a rat once more, chasing its tail in a circle, then -- crack! -- became a rattlesnake, which slithered and writhed before -- crack! -- becoming a single, bloody eyeball.
"It's confused!" shouted Lupin. "We're getting there! Dean!"
Dean hurried forward. Crack! The eyeball became a severed hand, which flipped over, and began to creep along the floor like a crab.
"Riddikulus!" yelled Dean. There was a snap, and the hand was trapped in a mousetrap.
"Excellent! Ron, you next!"
Ron lept forward.
Crack!
Quite a few people screamed. A giant spider, if not an Acromantula, several feet tall and clicking its pincers menacingly, had been advancing on Ron, and technically, the class as well.
"Riddikulus!" bellowed Ron, and the spider's legs vanished; The spider rolled over and over-- many people hopped out of the way, Harry included-- it rolled to a halt in front of Lisa. Before anyone got to see what it changed into, she cried, "Riddikulus!", and a ribbon went flying in the air. Harry soon realised that, once it hit the ground, that it was closest to him. He raised his wand, ready, but--
“Here!” shouted Professor Lupin suddenly, hurrying forward as something dark and cloaked began to take shape from the ribbon. For a moment, everyone was looking around wildly to see where the Boggart disappeared to. Then a silvery-white orb was hanging in the air before Lupin, who spoke almost lazily- "Riddikulus!"
Crack!
A balloon was now in the air and flew forward-- “Now, Neville, finish him off!”
Crack!, once more, and Snape had returned. This time, when Neville charged forward, he looked insanely determined.
“Riddikulus!”
They’d seen Snape dressed like Neville’s grandmother for only a second before, after a very loud bout of laughter from Neville himself, the boggart exploded, leaving behind a thousand tiny wisps of smoke in its place.
"Our boggart has been finished off," said Lupin, looking around the room. "Excellent, well done, everyone. Let me see.... Five points to... both Houses five points for every person to tackle the boggart, and five each to Hermione and Harry."
"But I didn’t do anything?" Harry asked.
Lupin gave Harry a smile as if he’d known him for very long. "You both answered my questions correctly at the start of the class," he said lightly. "Very well done, everyone, an excellent lesson. Homework, kindly read the chapter on boggarts and summarise it for me... to be handed in on Monday. That will be all."
Talking cheerfully, the class left the staffroom. But Harry felt very conflicted-- why was Lupin so familiar to him? And the boggart changed into a moon… he was suddenly reminded of Padma saying... something about his name and wolves. Perhaps it was just ironic, and Harry was thinking far too much over it. Or maybe...
Suddenly, he couldn't hear his own thoughts over the growing crowd of people talking.
"Did you see me take that banshee?"
"And the hand!"
"And Snape in that hat! Brilliant, Neville!"
"Ooh, and my mummy!"
"I would've liked to go,"
"He seems like a good teacher," said Padma over the crowd.
"Of course you think so, Padma,” Lisa said. “you didn't have to go up against the boggart. But he totally is--"
"That was the best lesson I think we've ever had for Defence Against the Dark Arts anyway." Ron said.
"I think that's the best lesson we'll ever have," Luna suggested, smiling much larger than usual and wiping tears from her eyes. She found the lesson-- Snape in a dress in particular-- funnier than anyone else. "we're never going to get a lesson like that in any other class."
"Oh, yes, that is true," nodded Hermione, rummaging through her bag. "I am a bit sad I didn’t get to face it, though--”
Ron snorted. “What would it turn into, McGonagall saying you only got nine-and-a-half out of ten?”