Clean
When Remus had woken up a few hours later, seeing Sirius asleep next to him on the sofa, with one of his books propped open on his chest, that man panicked. If he had any energy at all, he’d have crawled back to his bed and hoped to never run into Sirius in the hall again. He’d managed to drift back off, and when he was woken by Teddy poking him in the forehead, Sirius was gone. He’d left a note where he’d slept though.
Remus,
I hope you feel better this morning. Didn’t mean to fall asleep on your sofa, but it’s deceptively comfy!
I’m about all day if you need anything, also I borrowed a book, hope you don’t mind. I started it last night and couldn’t put it down! I’ll bring it back when I’m done, I promise. :)
Sirius
Remus was very grateful that his snotty toddler needed all of his attention because dwelling on Sirius reading one of his books and liking it was dangerous to think about. As soon as Sirius had revealed that his ex was a man, Remus had grown even more exhausted than the flu was already making him, because of course his hot neighbour who covered his wall in ugly soundproofing to not disturb them, and came over to look after him when he was sick wasn’t straight.
When Teddy needed a nap not long after breakfast, he sat down to watch something familiar on YouTube, maybe he’d catch up on That Chapter videos, or compilations of people being ridiculous. He kept getting recommended videos by a channel called Eddie Bones who apparently did ghost hunting or seances or something. Remus had loved Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural as much as the next millennial, but this guy looked obnoxious. He didn’t scroll far before he saw something that made him freeze.
Follow me Home - Sirius Black (Live at St Ives Guildhall 10/3/23)
He clicked it without hesitation. It had millions of views and Remus could see why immediately.
Sirius was famous.
He googled him next, then put his phone down next to him and gently spiralled. As much as he could spiral while his head still felt like it might drop off if he thought about anything too hard. He was notably bad at keeping up with new music, but surely he would have heard of Sirius at some point if he was winning awards and going on Graham Norton? Apparently not.
***
A little before 3 am, Remus woke with a start. A loud banging was coming from the hallway. Teddy was miraculously still asleep next to him, so Remus eased away to see what was going on.
He heard voices in the hallway. He looked through the peephole but couldn’t see anything. He pulled on a hoodie and opened his door slowly. A man with platinum blonde hair that he recognised from… somewhere was standing outside Sirius’ flat talking to his closed door.
“Everything alright?” He asked wearily.
The man looked at him snootily and plastered a fake smile on his face. “Everything’s fine here. My boyfriend and I had a disagreement.”
Sirius’ door swung open. “I’m so sorry, Remus. I’ve no idea how he got up here. Did he wake Teddy up?”
Remus shook his head, “Miraculously, no. What’s happening?” He willed himself to wake up properly.
“Eddie was just leaving.” Sirius frowned at him. Eddie Bones the youtube guy. Remus tried very hard not to judge Sirius' taste in men.
“Oh no, darling, Eddie’s coming in for a drink.” He took a step towards Sirius’ door and Remus’ temper flared as he saw panic flash across Sirius’ face.
“Hey!” Eddie looked at him in surprise. “He made it clear that he wants you to leave.”
“Really Sirius… your hot neighbour? What a cliché, even for you.” Eddie frowned.
“No, we’re friends. Not that it’s any of your business.”
“Of course, it’s my business,” Eddie said sharply. “Are you cheating on me? With this guy?” Remus’ eyes flicked between them, thoroughly confused.
Sirius kept his voice low, but the fury cut through every word. “You’re high.” He laughed mirthlessly, “You broke up with me months ago, Ed. In a 27-second phone call where I said less than ten words. Also don’t you dare talk about him like that.” He shook his head, “Fuck off.”
Eddie swayed slightly where he stood. “That was a joke Sirius!”
“Was it also a joke when you literally kicked me out of the home I paid for and tried to stop me coming back to get my stuff? Was it a joke when you sent me videos of you and the blonde guy? You know what is a joke. Your shitty excuse for a YouTube Channel. Get. The fuck. Out.”
Remus pulled out his phone and pointed it at Eddie, “Oh you like being on camera?” Sirius looked over at him, surprised. “I’m sure your fans would love to see you stalking your ex. He’s asked you to leave.”
Eddie froze, “Well that’s not…” He frowned, “That’s not necessary. I’m going, I’m going.” He looked between the two of them and scoffed slightly before striding to the stairs.
“Thank you,” Sirius said quietly. “I don’t know how he got my address. I didn’t—”
“Are you alright?” Sirius looked shaken. “Do you want a cuppa?” Sirius nodded, staring at the door to the stairwell.
He followed Remus into his flat, sitting on the sofa as Remus made tea. His heart was pounding and every sound he heard made him want to curl in on himself and hide from everything. He had no idea how Eddie could have found him. His friends knew better than to tell him, which left Eddie following him home as the probable answer. He suddenly felt dirty.
Remus appeared with two mugs and sat next to him on the sofa. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Sirius nodded, then shook his head, then shrugged. “I’m sorry he woke you up.”
“It’s not your fault,” Remus said softly. “He’s gone now.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Better than yesterday, but still… grim.” Sirius nodded.
They sat in silence for a while, Remus handed Sirius the cup of tea off the table as Sirius stared at the wall, eyes flicking between the photos that almost entirely covered it. Remus and a tiny, tiny baby. Remus and his parents, all smiling, Remus as a teenager wearing eyeliner and grinning, Remus and the same few people over and over, his friends, Remus, Teddy and a very pretty woman. Her long blonde hair shone almost as brightly as her smile in every photo of her. Teddy’s mum.
“You knew to film him,” Sirius said, almost sadly. “You knew that would make him stop, or leave.”
Remus nodded.
“From experience? Of someone like that?”
He nodded again.
“Teddy’s mum?”
Remus looked at him, “Yes.” He sipped his tea, “And now if you need to start putting together a record of harassment, there’s a tiny bit of video evidence.”
Sirius’ heart cracked slightly. He’d assumed Remus had had a messy divorce, maybe there was cheating involved or something, but it seemed more than that now.
“I’m sorry that you know that,” Sirius said softly. “But thank you.”
Remus smiled sadly. “Well… thanks. It’s hard to regret it, because of Teddy, but she… wasn’t my best decision.”
“That’s her, with the blonde hair in the pictures?” Sirius asked.
He nodded, “I think it’s important for Teddy to see pictures of her, no matter how much I hate them. He hasn’t seen her in a while, so…”
“She doesn’t see him?” Remus’ face did something strange, “You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry.”
“No, It’s ok. I just— Her name’s Sophie. We met in the library at uni. Dated for a few years, had fun, and things were fine. She changed after we got married.” He frowned, “She stopped taking her birth control and just like that I was tied to her for eighteen years. She got more and more possessive, paranoid, aggressive… I started recording every interaction with her on my phone. By the time Teddy was born, I’d planned to leave, but I knew I couldn’t leave him with her. I ran in the night, petitioned for full custody, and talked to the police. She got out on bail and left us alone for a while.”
Sirius suddenly realised he hadn’t taken a breath in a while and somehow choked on his own throat. Remus laughed, “I know, gripping stuff, right?”
“You tell stories for a living, shut up.”
“I started seeing someone a few months later before the divorce was fully finalised, but we had been separated for six months. Teddy was about ten months old. She found out about this and decided to deliberately crash her car into his, while Teddy and I were passengers.” He looked up at Sirius who looked equal measures aghast and intrigued. “He broke both legs and his pelvis and understandably didn’t want to see me again. I had a nasty concussion and broke a couple of ribs. Teddy came away completely unscathed, thankfully. So, yeah, she doesn’t see him. She’s a year and a half into a ten-year sentence.”
Sirius was speechless. He stared at Remus, at the pictures on the walls, at his hands, and back at Remus. “That’s… I’m so sorry that happened to you and Teddy. I just— Fuck!”
“Yeah, pretty much. But if you need any help applying for a restraining order, I’m your guy!” He huffed out a laugh but there wasn’t much joy in it. “Teddy doesn’t really remember her. He’ll be twelve by the time she’s eligible for parole. At the moment if he asks about her I tell him that she tried to hurt us and she’s in prison but that she still loves him. I don’t know how true that is… but…” He shrugged. “They didn’t cover that in parenting classes, weirdly.”
Sirius smiled, “The crash? Is that what your chronic pain is from?”
Remus nodded, “Yeah. It developed into fibromyalgia, the pain, the trauma. Fucking annoying, honestly.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Sirius put down his mug. “That sounds really hard.”
“Yeah. But then I moved back in here, decorated it my way and things are pretty good. Are there times when I wish I’d never gone to the library that day? Yeah, of course. But Teddy is thriving, and somehow slept through all the noise so… right now I can’t complain.”
Sirius shook his head and smiled at Remus in admiration, “Eddie’s just a prick. Nothing like that, just toxic. He was loaded tonight.”
“Yeah, he looked it.” Remus said, “Do you…”
“Not anymore.” Sirius said quickly, deciding to be honest, “Being an up-and-coming musician in my mid-twenties was an absolute cesspool of drugs, but my friend almost OD’ed a few years ago and that was enough.”
“Oh. Well done?” Remus chuckled, “I don’t know if that's what you say.”
“I’ll take it.” Sirius smiled back at him, “It was rough, but I don’t even remember the last time I was tempted. Not even when that prick called me right before a gig to break up with me.”
“He did it right before a gig? What an absolute—”
“Yeah. Honestly, I should have done it months before that but… I thought it would get better.” Sirius said.
“Yeah I know,” Remus said, and Sirius took solace in the knowledge that he genuinely did. “You’ll get some good songs out of it eventually.”
“Yeah, I should dedicate the next album to him.” He laughed, “Except he’d love any chance to play the victim, so I won’t.”
Remus yawned. “Oh, fuck. I’m so sorry. I forgot that he woke you up.”
“It’s fine. You looked like you needed tea and company.” Remus smiled at him and Sirius had to focus incredibly hard not to lean in towards him. “Give the front desk a picture of Eddie. Sophie’s family have tried to come here a few times, but they’ve never made it past the foyer.”
“I’d never have thought of that. Thank you!” Sirius stared at him, holding his gaze. Neither of them said anything, the sound of their breathing driving Sirius a little insane. “Remus…”
He was cut off, of course he was, by Teddy appearing in the doorway, looking very confused to see Sirius in his home.
“Daddy sleep.” He said indignantly.
“I think I’ve been told.” Remus smiled at Sirius apologetically. “Oh, wait, hang on." He crossed to the bookshelves with his books on and scanned them for a moment before pulling one from the shelf. I think you’ll like this one.” He handed it to Sirius with a sly smile on his face. “Enjoy.”
“Thank you.” Sirius grinned at him. “Now go to sleep, Remus.”
Remus mock saluted at him before scooping Teddy into his arms and carrying him back to bed. “Night, Sirius.”
Sirius chuckled to himself as he let himself out of Remus’ flat, checking the corridor for lurking exes first, and back into his. He looked at the cover and saw two Regency-era men, one sitting at a writing desk, the other playing piano, and snorted.