Your Worst Enemy is Your Best Tutor

“How’d you think you did?” Barty asked when Regulus walked into the common room. He was draped over a sofa, leaving only the armrest for Evan to sit on. “For sure passed them all, did you?”

Regulus pushed his legs out of the way and sat down next to him. He wasn’t in the mood for jokes. “I didn’t realize antidotes would be tested as well.”

Evan slipped from the armrest next to him. “I mean, you kind of learn the antidotes with the potions, so I’m sure you did well.”

Regulus hummed. “Couldn’t name the ingredients, though. Lost points over that.”

“Oh, piss off.” Barty stretched his legs out. “You’re just being humble. I bet you beat all of us.”

“I’m telling you,” Regulus said, annoyed, “I’ve fucked it up. I'm lucky if I even pass.”

His friends were quiet for a while and Regulus had never felt worse. Because his DADA exam yesterday had gone horrible as well. And he’d absolutely failed Arithmancy. And then he’d somehow managed to give his flesh-eating orchid food poisoning, which had to lose him some points in the Herbology exam.

“Are you sure, you’re not just being dramatic?” Evan asked quietly.

Regulus dropped his head into his hands. “I’m just a bloody disaster. I can’t believe it. All that time in the library and for what?” That was the worst part, wasn’t it? Regulus had studied for this, day in and day out. And he had nothing to show for it. Whereas his stupid brother had never spent a second in the library and of course, he’d passed all his OWLs with flying colours. Because he was just so bloody perfect.

“I’m sure it won’t be that bad,” Evan tried again. “Don’t beat yourself up over it, you haven’t even got the results yet.”

“My parents will kill me,” Regulus mumbled into his hands. He wasn’t even exaggerating. If Sirius was still part of the family, if his name hadn’t been blown from the tapestry already, Regulus was sure his mother wouldn’t think twice about killing him for his grades. Disgracing the family with poor academic results.  

“Tell them you did better than me,” Barty offered, “that might calm them down.”

Regulus looked up. “No offence, but you’re not even trying.”

Barty raised a brow. “I do take offence to that.”

Defeated, Regulus let his head fall back into his hands. “I can’t believe they were all right. I can’t believe Sirius is smarter than me.”

“He’s not,” Barty said easily. “Just because he gets better grades than you? Look at the company he keeps! He’s an idiot.”

Regulus shook his head in his hands. “That means an idiot can get better grades than me?”

“Didn’t you say you used to beat him in chess?”

Alarmed, Regulus looked up. “What if he let me win?”

“Okay.” Barty got up, sighing. “You’re spiralling, mate. Why don’t we go out for a nice round on the broom, huh? Clear your head a bit.”

Seeing as there wasn’t much else to do, except to wallow in self-pity, Regulus and his friends made their way to the Quidditch pitch.

Of course, as his luck would have it, Sirius and Potter were already there.

“Bloody hell,” Barty groaned as they approached the two dark haired boys.

“I’m not leaving just because they’re here!” Regulus decided. Besides, ever since Sirius had left home, he’d avoided Regulus like the plague. He’d piss off on his own.

With a sudden boost of confidence, Regulus walked towards the two boys. They weren’t even carrying brooms. Potter seemed to be stretching and Sirius was practicing cartwheels.

“Oi!”

Their heads turned at the same time, of course. Regulus suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. “Are you two finished?”

Without a word, without even an acknowledgement that his brother was talking to him, Sirius turned to the changing rooms and walked away.

Potter stayed. As Regulus came closer, he saw that his brows were furrowed and for once, he wasn’t wearing his smug grin.

Regulus stopped in front of him. “So?”

And then, Potter’s smile was back. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and cocked his hip. “Sorry, I don’t remember seeing your name on schedule?”

Regulus clenched his jaw. “It’s not,” he admitted.

“Well, then,” Potter beamed, “I might be an only child, but I’ve always been good at sharing, Reggie.”

“Don’t call me that.” It was bad enough when Sirius did it. He didn’t need to encourage his stupid friends to do it too.

Potter bowed apologetically. “Sorry. Sir, Regulus, Sir!”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Just don’t get in our way.” He turned his back to Potter but saw him salute out of the corner of his eye.

“Never, Sir!”

Barty and Evan were waiting for him on the other side of the pitch. “You know he would’ve hexed us if we’d gone over there.”

“You’re not his best friend’s brother,” Regulus muttered. “Let’s go then. He won’t bother us.”

Regulus knew Sirius was protective over him still. Wouldn’t talk to him but asked his friends to leave him alone. Like Regulus couldn’t handle himself. Like he was a child. That was just the type of person Sirius was. Had always been. The way he’d heroically thrown himself in front of Regulus when they’d been kids. Like he’d been doing him a favour. It had been stupid.

Barty ended up being right. The warm spring air in his face really did make him feel better. After about an hour, both Evan and Barty, who weren’t big fans of flying, told Regulus they’d meet him in the common room. Regulus flew another thirty minutes until his legs were sore and he landed on the dusty ground.

A whistle made him turn around.

It was Potter, now sat leaning against the bleachers, one knee pulled in, resting his arm on it.

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Enjoy the show, Potter?”

He grinned at him, in that way where his entire face was smiling. Regulus often wondered how a person could be that happy all the time. “Actually, I did. You fly well for a Slytherin.”

Regulus scoffed. “One might say, it’s really pathetic for you to sit here and watch me for ages, just to get your team an advantage in the next game.”

Potter kept grinning, apparently unphased by the fact that Regulus had just called him pathetic. It was a bit irritating, actually.

“I was going to leave,” he admitted then. “But you’re kind of mesmerizing in the air, mate.”

Regulus stared at him, trying to ignore how hot his face felt. Why in Merlin’s name had he felt the need to say that? “Are you flirting with me?” Regulus asked, more mockingly than sincerely.

Potter’s grin broadened and he pushed himself up. He towered over Regulus a bit, forcing him to look up. He didn’t like that. “I flirt with everyone,” Potter explained, smugly. “It’s my thing.”

“Uhuh.” Regulus tried to look unimpressed. “You think that’s cute?”

“Doesn’t matter what I think.” Potter took a step towards him. Regulus stayed put, refusing to back up. “What do you think?”

Regulus’ mouth was dry. He cleared his throat looking up at Potter defiantly. “I think you should learn about personal space.” It was all he said before grabbing his broom and turning to the showers.

Potter was just as stupid as Sirius. Not that he wasn’t attractive, of course he was. And he knew it. Which made him unattractive in Regulus’ book. Not that anyone asked.

Potter was probably trying to create a fun story to come back with.

“Sirius, I totally flirted with your brother today.”

“No way, did he buy it?”

Stupid!

“We’ll get the results along with the letter for next year, right?” Evan was nervously tapping his fingers on the table, eyes locked on the teacher’s table.

“Yep.” Barty poured himself a glass of pumpkin juice. “So, we’ve got a summer filled with uncertainty ahead of us.”

“But if we’d failed them all, they’d let us know, right?” Evan looked back at Regulus and Barty, eyes wide. “What would happen if we failed them all?”

“You’d have to repeat the year,” Regulus said calmly. “Don’t worry, we’ll be together then.”

“Don’t be daft!” Barty rolled his eyes. “We’ve all passed.” He paused. “Although, it would probably give my father a heart attack if I’d failed. Bloody hell. I should’ve failed.”

Regulus sighed. “Well, I can thank Merlin that Sirius fucked off before my parents got to see his OWL results. Might be my only saving grace.”

Evan shook his head. “If you end up being better than me, Black, I swear!”

Regulus didn’t bother trying to convince him. It didn’t matter now, he decided. What was done was done.

He got up. “I’ll finish packing.”

His friends gave him a quick nod and told him they’d meet up with him later.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Potter, who’d coincidentally gotten up at the same time. But that was none of his concern.

Or it hadn’t been, not until Potter caught up to him and cheerfully started to talk. “Alright, Reggie?”

“Don’t call me that,” Regulus hissed, not bothering to stop. If Potter was going to follow him, he’d be rid of him soon enough. He couldn’t come into the common room, after all.

“I couldn’t help but overhear—”

“You were eavesdropping?” Not surprising, Regulus figured. He made a mental note to keep important conversation in the common room.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it that,” Potter said, still grinning. “You and your friends just speak loud.”

“Loudly,” Regulus corrected. “We speak loudly.”

“I’m glad we agree on that.” Potter grabbed his arm and Regulus snapped around.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He ripped his arm away.

Potter shrugged. His grin was gone, instead he was frowning now. “You’re quick. And I’m not so keen on the dungeons at the minute.”

“Fine.” Regulus crossed his arms. “What do you want?”

And just like that, Potter was smiling again. “Right, so.” He leaned with his arm against the wall. “I heard you might need some tutoring.”

Regulus’ jaw dropped. Out of everything he’d expected, this hadn’t been it. Apparently, it wasn’t enough that Sirius easily surpassed him in school, no! Now he had his best friend following him out and offering tutoring lessons! Like Sirius wasn’t embarrassing Regulus enough as it was.

It took him just a second to snap out of it.

Pinning Potter against the wall was easy. He was already leaning on it and had clearly not expected Regulus to do anything. In an instant, Regulus had his wand at his throat.

Potter didn’t look so happy now. Instead, he stared at Regulus with wide eyes.

“You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?” Regulus hissed.

Potter raised his hands in defence. “I mean, I do. But I wasn’t joking.”

“Like I need tutoring from you of all people!” Regulus tightened his grip on his wand. “What could you possibly teach me?”

Potter held his gaze, lips slowly quirking back up. “And you said I don’t know about personal space.”

Regulus narrowed his eyes. Potter was so sure that he wasn’t going to do anything to him. And annoyingly, Regulus couldn’t think of a single spell right now. “I don’t know what you’re planning, but stay away from me, blood traitor!”

Potter’s stupid grin froze. Before Regulus could even think about doing anything, Potter grabbed his wand-arm, twisted it and suddenly, Regulus was the one against the wall. His cheek was pressed against it and his arm twisted on his back. And then, because Regulus wasn’t right in the head, he dropped his wand.

Regulus felt Potter’s breath on his neck. “Careful,” he whispered. “I’m stronger than you.”

And then, Regulus was free again. He stumbled away from Potter, but he’d already turned away. “Offer stands.”

Regulus watched as he walked away, face hot with embarrassment. The corridor was empty. Regulus picked up his wand and straightened his tie. Nobody had seen. He made his way back to the common room.

Regulus had passed. Barely, but he’d passed. And his parents hadn’t even been that mad.

“Well, you can’t expect better grades if you’re not willing to put in the work, Regulus.” Except Sirius had never put in any work. And he always got perfect grades.

Still, Regulus had even managed all of the subjects he’d wanted for his NEWTs. Charms, DADA, Herbology, Potions, Transfiguration, Magical Creatures, Astronomy and Divination. Well, to be fair he hadn’t wanted Divination. In fact, he’d been more than positive that he’d failed his Divination exam. Which in turn seemed to prove that he sucked at divination.

Whatever the case, he had a full schedule for the next two years.

Evan reached for Regulus’ timetable. “So, we’ve got all the same classes, except I’ve got History instead of Astronomy.”

“Which was a horrible decision on your part,” Barty cut in. He’d barely even looked at his own timetable. “Who wouldn’t rather look at the stars than listen to a boring old sod explain the same shit you’ve heard on repeat for your entire life?”

Regulus snatched his timetable back. “I’d rather not do either. This year we’ll be doing constellations. Do you know how many people in my family are named after constellations?”

“History is an easy pass for me,” Evan explained. “I need an easy pass this year. This timetable is already stressing me out.”

“Yeah, your whining is stressing me out.” Regulus stabbed the sausage on his plate. “It’s the first day. Wait until dinner, at least.”

And what a first day it would be. First period was Transfiguration, which was one of Regulus’ favourite subjects. It was whimsical and came fairly easy to him. The only downside was that they had it together with the Hufflepuffs. So, those lessons were going to be slow this year. 

Then there was Defence Against the Dark Arts, which they had together with the Gryffindors so, that was sure to be annoying. Then Herbology with Hufflepuff again, but then, plants were quite boring anyways. After that there was Magical Creatures with Ravenclaw and then, after lunch, Potions with the Gryffindors as well.

“You won’t let me whine at dinner, either,” Evan muttered.

As it turned out, he’d been right all along. They had started non-verbal spells in every lesson that required a wand, and apparently, Regulus was really bad at it. Watching most of the Hufflepuff students getting it right before he did, wasn’t a boost to his confidence either. The Gryffindors were obnoxious, no surprises there. The coursework was already a lot.

So, after the day was over and Barty and Evan announced, they were going to spend the rest of the day playing chess rather than doing their homework, Regulus decided to go to the library.

He was already a few inches into his essay about Flutterby Bushes, when someone sat down opposite him.

“Day one and already studying.”

James Potter was grinning at Regulus like they were friends. Since they weren’t, Regulus didn’t bother with a response, just leaning back over the book he was citing from.

“Herbology, huh?” Potter picked up one of the books Regulus had gotten for further research.

Regulus was still ignoring him.

“You know,” Potter put the book back down, “people call me King of Herbology.”

“They do not!” Regulus said simply, not looking up.

“They do!” Potter insisted. “Ask me anything, go on.”

Sighing, Regulus sat up. Potter was grinning, brows wiggling as his eyes met Regulus’. “Why do Amortentia and the Flutterby Bush not have the same scent?”

Potter’s entire face lit up at that question and Regulus kicked himself for not asking something more difficult. “Why, what a good question, Reggie. They don’t smell the same because they serve different purposes.” He leaned back in his chair smugly. “The Flutterby Bush means to entice with its smell, Amortentia is a love potion. The scent is just a side effect. Besides Amortentia smells like more than one thing, Flutterby doesn’t.”

Regulus blinked at him. “That makes no sense.”

“Yes, it does.” He reached for the book under Regulus’ parchment and pulled it out. “Look.” He skipped a couple of pages and then shoved the book into Regulus’ face. “It’s right there.”

Annoyed, Regulus grabbed it.

Unlike Amortentia the Flutterby Bush means to attract purely with its scent. Hence while one person’s Amortentia might smell like a bonfire, that same person might not find themselves wandering towards the smell of a fire. Additionally, while Amortentia can smell like the combination of several things, the Flutterby Bush sticks to only one scent.

Regulus tapped his fingers on the page. “You didn’t explain that very well.”

Potter scoffed. “Sure, maybe I’d need more practice in tutoring.” He winked at Regulus.

Regulus smiled a wide fake smile. “Oh, that’s a great idea. Why don’t you piss off and do that?”

Potter tilted his head, eyes crinkling at him amusedly. “I meant with you.”

“No, I got that.” Regulus looked back to his parchment and paraphrased the book. Not Potter! The book! “I’m rejecting that idea. Again.”

With an amused hum, Potter leaned back. “You’ll find that I don’t take rejection well.”

“Do you take anything well?”

There was a pause and when Regulus looked up again, Potter grinned that smug grin. “That’s private, Regulus!”

And nope.

There were limits and this was one.

Ignoring the heat crawling up his neck, Regulus grabbed his parchment, quill, and ink, stuffing them into his bag. The parchment was going to get all crumpled up, but Regulus couldn’t care about that right now. He needed to get away from Potter.

His face was still burning when he’d turned his back on Potter.

Regulus wasn’t learning. Potter had never shown any interest in speaking to him without having ulterior motives. And now, clearly, he had made it his mission to embarrass Regulus wherever he went. And Regulus, stupid as he was, was letting him!

Really funny.

Flirting with his best friend’s brother.

Hilarious.

“You’re back early,” Evan noted, as Regulus plopped himself down on the floor next to him.

He scanned the chess board in front of his friends. “He’s got you in check in three.”

Evan looked at the board himself. “What? Where?”

Barty grinned. “Don’t worry about it, darling. Just keep playing.” He turned to Regulus. “Did you finish already? Taking after your brother after all?”

“Shut up,” Regulus muttered, “or I’ll give Evan hints.”

“You’re no fun.” Barty rolled his eyes and watched Evan capture his knight. “Oh, no. You’ve thwarted my plan! Whatever will I do?” he said monotonously, just before capturing Evan’s queen.

“Wh- Not fair,” Evan protested. “I didn’t see that.”

“Sorry.”

Evan turned to Regulus. “Can I still win?”

“What do I know?” Regulus shrugged. “I’ve got a bloody essay to finish.”

“So, you’re not done, then?” Barty asked, without looking up from the board.

“Potter got on my nerves,” Regulus admitted then.

“Thought he didn’t bother you,” Evan said as he made another move that would cost him his bishop.

“Well, he did.” And this conversation was bothering him as well. “He’s gotten more obnoxious apparently.”

“Didn’t know that was possible,” Barty mumbled. “He walks around in this castle like he bloody owns it. He’s just got one of those punchable faces, doesn’t he?”

“Someone ought to punch it,” Evan agreed.

Regulus snorted. Like either of them would ever get close enough to Potter to punch him in the face before Sirius or one of their little minions hexed them. It was truly infuriating.

“And he gets away with everything,” Regulus joined in. “He’s bloody Head Boy! Why the hell is he Head Boy?”

“Right?!” Barty took his eyes off the chess board, looking at Regulus instead. “Mulciber should’ve been Head Boy! Hasn’t got a single detention since he was made Prefect! Potter gets detention every bloody week! And the mudblood girl? Are they fucking serious?”

Regulus shrugged. “I mean she is a solid choice, personality wise.” As much as he’d rather see a pureblood as a representative for the students, he had to admit that Evans had just been a good prefect and continued to be a good Head Girl. And he had to give it to her, she’d never misused her position to terrorize purebloods. Unlike Potter.

“But she’s a mudblood!” Evan chimed in. “She shouldn’t have even been considered.”

“Well.” Regulus shrugged. “There’s always next year.”

“They’re not going to make a Slytherin Head Student,” Barty scoffed. “No way. Dumbledore needs to push his stupid agenda. Student representatives can only be blood traitors or mudbloods.”

“My dad says, in a few years purebloods might not even be allowed to Hogwarts anymore,” Evan said sombrely.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit dramatic?” Regulus crossed his legs. “Hogwarts was founded by purebloods. The entirety of Slytherin house would just be – empty.”

Barty nodded. “That’s what it’s going to end with. That’s what those idiots want.”

Doubtfully, Regulus raised a brow. “But it’s tradition—”

“Dumbledore doesn’t care about tradition!” Barty furrowed his brows. “If he did, those mudbloods wouldn’t even get an invite.”

“My dad says,” Evan lowered his voice, “that Dumbledore wants to obliterate traditional magic culture and replace it with his own ideology. He thinks the Ministry should be more involved in our education.”

Regulus thought, Evan’s dad sounded like a conspiracy theorist.

“Absolutely,” Barty agreed. “Insane that he can just run the school however he wants to. And that pureblood parents even still send their kids here. This is indoctrination station.”

The chess game had been forgotten, as Barty and Evan kept coming up with new conspiracies about their headmaster.

“Right.” Regulus sighed. “I’ll just go downstairs and finish my essay.”

“You do that,” Barty nodded. “Not that it’ll matter once Dumbledore has pushed all the purebloods out of the ministry. Because the only job you’re going to qualify for is shovelling dragon shit!”

Regulus gave him a thumbs up and left to do his homework.

He’d thought it was a stupid idea from the beginning. He’d told them it was too late; they’d never make it back before curfew. But Barty had insisted it would be fine. The greenhouses weren’t even that far away and besides, if they didn’t pick it up now, someone else would. While Regulus figured some weed wasn’t worth getting months of detention and a howler from his parents, he’d been outvoted. Because Evan was a spineless little bastard who went along with everything Barty came up with.

So, really, Regulus could only blame himself when after hearing Mrs Norris’ meow, instead of running, like his friends had, he’d frozen up. Could only blame himself, when he only unfroze after the cat had run to its owner and the only thing available for Regulus to hide in was an old broom cupboard. And he certainly had no one else to blame but himself, when he didn’t dare to leave the broom closet and walk back to the dungeons by himself.

Because Regulus was also a spineless little bastard.

And thank Merlin for that, because if he had a spine, a night in a broom cupboard would probably end with horrible back pain.

He sat in complete darkness, listening to the sound of his pounding heart. He’d cast a Lumos before, but then had found himself face to face with a medium-sized spider and had decided he didn’t need to see. He’d tucked his knees under his chin and tried to get at least somewhat comfortable.

Unfortunately, his heart was still beating too fast and there was nothing to distract himself with. Spending a night in a broom cupboard wasn’t only uncomfortable, it was also boring. Great.

Regulus had just closed his eyes to hopefully doze off when the sound of footsteps woke him up at once. All sleepiness was gone, as his heart started racing once again. He barely dared to breathe, as the steps came closer and closer and came to a final stop right in front of his cupboard.

Had Mrs Norris seen him hide in there after all? Or was Filch just checking every single hiding spot around where she’d led him? Regulus was never going to smoke weed with Barty and Evan at the greenhouses ever again. Well, he might not even get a chance to if his parents were informed of why he was out of bed and sent him away to Durmstrang.

The door flung open, and Regulus braced himself. But it wasn’t Filch who’d caught him. It was someone way worse.

“Oh, look at that.” Potter grinned. “Regulus is in the closet.”

Regulus wished desperately that Filch had discovered him. With a scoff, he climbed out of the cupboard, dusting himself off. “So, what’s it going to be, Potter? Two weeks detention?”

Still grinning, Potter picked something out of Regulus’ hair. Regulus dodged him just a few seconds too late. “For what? Hiding in a closet? I think we’ve all done that at some point.”

Regulus was starting to get tired of James Potter’s homoerotic innuendos. “Then what?”

Potter sighed. “I’m just going to walk you to your common room, okay? Can’t have you getting caught out of bed.”

“I can walk myself.” And Regulus started doing so, Potter catching up with him easily.

“If Evans catches you, you might not get so lucky,” he proposed. “Just count your blessings, Reggie.”

“Don’t call me that!” Regulus refused to stop.

“Fine. Regulus.” Potter grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. “If you won’t let me walk you to your common room, I’ve got to think that maybe it’s because you’ve got some dodgy plans.” He raised a brow, suspiciously. “And because I don’t know you, I can’t trust that you actually do go to your common room. So, I might be forced to take some points away and inform your head of house about your—”

“Bloody hell!” Regulus interrupted. “Walk me, then. Just keep your mouth shut.”

“I’m not capable of that.”

Groaning, Regulus rolled his eyes.

It took exactly to the end of the corridor until Potter broke the silence between them once again. “So, what were you doing out here after curfew?”

“That’s none of your business.”

Of course, Potter wasn’t one to take no for an answer. “That’s fine, I’ll guess.”

“That’s not—”

Potter ignored him. “I’m going to assume you didn’t just forget the time in the library.”

Regulus hummed. “That’s exactly how it went, zero points for you, Potter.”

“If I had to guess,” Potter went on, “and I do, I’d say you went down to the greenhouses.”

Regulus froze. How did he know that?

With a knowing smirk, Potter continued, “Someone left something for you down there and you suck at time management, so you miscalculated. And then you got paranoid and hid in the cupboard.”

“Wrong!” Regulus lied.

“Ah.” Potter crossed his arms. “I understand. I suppose your shoes got muddy in one of those pesky indoor puddles in the library then.” He leaned in and sniffed. “And you’re using that new perfume, right? Au de Spliff?”

Potter’s face was just millimetres away from Regulus’, but he refused to give in and dodge him. So, Regulus just stared at him, defiantly, ignoring the sweet scent of cinnamon suddenly fogging his brain. “My shoes got muddy during Magical Creatures.”

Amused, Potter raised an eyebrow.

“And maybe you should get your nose checked.”

“My, my.” Potter grinned but didn’t move away. “Regulus Black is high.”

“I’m not high,” Regulus hissed.

“Darling.” Potter tilted Regulus’ head up by his chin. The gesture made Regulus’ stomach flutter. (It was probably because of the weed. Definitely.) “I know high when I see it. And you’re high.”

“I’m not high,” Regulus said again. But this time his voice was barely over a whisper.

Potter smiled, eyes scanning over Regulus’ face. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

Regulus blinked at him. Had he always had those warm brown eyes? And were those freckles? Regulus hadn’t known that James Potter had freckles. And his lips. His lips were so… luscious. Regulus wanted to know what those lips would feel like on his own.

Woah.

What was going on?

Had they accidentally smoked Amortentia? Could you smoke Amortentia?

Regulus licked his lips involuntarily.

“You are quite beautiful when you’re not looking down on people, you know that?” James grinned.

Potter, he meant. Potter grinned.

“I’m always beautiful,” Regulus answered.

The grin on Potter’s face broadened. “I love that confidence.”

“Unlike you.” Regulus didn’t know why he was reverting to playground insults.

Potter seemed to be amused by that. “No, I am not beautiful. I’m handsome.” He finally let go of Regulus and stepped away, flexing his bicep. “I’m hot. Sexy. Fit.”

“Urgh.” Regulus gagged, pushing him away. “You’re so full of yourself, Potter.” Thankfully, his mind seemed to work better now that Potter had given him some space, the cinnamon just faint in his nose.

Potter grinned at him. “You’re not into confident men, then?”

“Of course, I am!” Regulus furrowed his brows. “I’m not into arrogant men.”

Again, Potter was smirking. “Good to know.”

Oh.

Oh no.

Regulus was never smoking weed again. Because apparently, it made his brain short-circuit. Apparently, it made him come out to James Potter of all people.

“Well,” Potter turned away from him, keeping a reasonable distance between them, “all I can tell you is to smoke weed in your dorm in the future.”

“I’m never smoking weed again.” Regulus’ words just got away from him.

Potter grinned. “Yeah. Doesn’t really suit you, to be honest. You’re way to posh for it.”

“Says you.” Regulus scoffed. “You’re just as posh as me, you’re just better at hiding it.”

Potter chuckled. “Maybe make an attempt to hide it, huh? I could see how people would like you more if you lost the attitude.”

Regulus snorted and then his snort turned into a giggle. The attitude? Coming from James Potter? Now, that was hilarious.

“What?” Potter observed him, amused grin on his face.

When he opened his mouth to try to explain the irony of it, all that came out was another wave of giggles.

“What?” Now, Potter was laughing along with him. “Come on, share! I like to laugh.”

But as much as Regulus tried, he couldn’t stop laughing enough to get the words out.

He had started about five sentences before completely giving up and letting the giggles take over.

“Wow.” Potter pushed him away, smiling. “I’ve never seen you laugh like that. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you should smoke weed more often.”

Regulus knew he ought to be offended, but still, he couldn’t stop giggling. In his defence, he was walking back to the Slytherin common rooms after curfew with James Potter. James Potter, who hadn’t taken any points from him or given him detention. Because he was his brother’s best friend.

Potter spent the rest of the walk down by telling Regulus unfunny jokes, and Regulus couldn’t stop laughing at how unfunny Potter was. It reminded him a bit of Sirius’ unfunny jokes.

“Right,” Potter said, once they had arrived in the dungeons, “you remember your password?”

“Of course, I remember!” Regulus wasn’t that high. In fact, he already felt a lot more sober. “I won’t say in front of you, though.” Merlin knew what Potter and Sirius were going to do with that information.

Potter chuckled. “Was worth a try.” He turned. “Sleep tight, Reggie.”

“Not my name!” Regulus called after him before whispering the password and entering.

“So, you didn’t get caught last night?” Evan asked with a nod towards their unchanged house points at breakfast.

“No, I did.” Regulus grabbed a bowl of porridge. “Potter caught me.”

Barty scoffed. “Wow. He really does have a soft spot for you, huh.”

Regulus shrugged. “Dunno. But he was mocking me quite a lot, so. That’s that.”

“If you’re going to fall behind and let yourself be caught again, make sure it’s by Potter,” Barty grinned.

“Piss off.” Regulus let his eyes wander around the Great Hall and caught Potter’s, who was looking at him from the Gryffindor table. Next to him, Sirius was talking to Lupin excitedly. So, none of them saw when Potter winked at Regulus before turning away. “He’s just so obnoxious all the time.”

“That whole group is,” Evan corrected. “Can’t imagine how much calmer it’s going to be here, once they’re gone.”

Regulus looked at them. Sirius was laughing now, Lupin pretending to be annoyed, but smiling along and Potter had apparently charmed two tomatoes and a banana to float up into the air looking like a smiley face. The only one, who seemed genuinely annoyed by their antics was Pettigrew.

“Yeah, me neither.”

“If it isn’t the giggle monster,” Potter greeted him when they met in the library that week.

Groaning Regulus dropped his head on the open book in front of him. “Don’t make me obliviate you.”

“Too late,” Potter grinned. “I’ve got those memories saved away.”

Regulus looked back up. Potter was smiling at him innocently, head supported by both his hands. “What do you want?”

Sighing, Potter dropped his hands and leaned in. “I’ve got this Herbology essay due, and I don’t feel like doing it.”

Regulus stared at him. “You want me to do your Herbology essay?”

“What?” Potter furrowed his brows, confused. “No. I want you to entertain me, so I can keep putting off writing the essay.”

Regulus blinked. “Do you think I’m sitting here because of you?”

“I think it’s a fun bonus.”

“I also have work to do!” Regulus pointed at the books in front of him. “I have homework to hand in!”

Potter rolled his eyes. “Urgh. Fine, what’s the topic?” He slid the book towards himself. “Potions? I’m amazing at Potions.”

Regulus didn’t try to argue this time. Because he was genuinely losing his mind on this assignment, and because arguing with Potter had so far been futile. “We’re supposed to correct these instructions. I got Polyjuice Potion.” He handed Potter his worksheet.

Brows furrowed and for once, not grinning, Potter read through the instructions and what Regulus had already fixed. “Yeah, that’s good.”

“But there are supposed to be ten mistakes and I can only find nine,” Regulus explained. “I found Lacewing flies are supposed to be stewed for 21 days not 31. Stir clockwise, not anti-clockwise. Sixty minutes in a copper cauldron instead of a brass one. Four whole leaches not one leach cut up into four pieces.”

“Yeah, I see it.” Potter handed the sheet back to him, looking at him expectantly.

Regulus looked from his worksheet back to Potter. “And?”

“There’s ten,” Potter confirmed. “Your corrections are all good, too.”

“What’s the tenth?” Regulus asked, impatiently.

“I’m not going to just tell you.” Potter was grinning again. “You wouldn’t learn anything.”

Groaning, Regulus threw his head back in frustration. “You’re not my tutor.”

“Not for a lack of trying.” Potter shrugged. “You’re smart, you’ll figure it out.”

Wasn’t that hilarious?

Genius Potter, who probably hadn’t ever talked to anyone who wasn’t a genius told him he’d figure it out.

“I’m not smart,” Regulus said, eyes scanning the textbook. “I barely passed my OWLs and I did nothing but study the entire year.”

“Go on then.” Potter pointed at the book. “What did you miss, Reggie?”

“Don’t call me that.” Regulus was looking over his notes. Fluxweed, knotgrass, stirring, letting it brew, leeches, lacewing flies, low heat for thirty, wand, boomslang skin, bicorn horn, high heat for twenty, wand, letting it brew, more lacewings, stirring, this time counterclockwise, adding the piece of the person and waving your wand. It was all there. What the hell was missing? “I don’t know.”

Potter tsked. “Come on, look closely.”

“I did!” Regulus was already regretting telling him. “I don’t know, okay? Just tell me.”

“Fine, let’s go through it together.”

Regulus groaned. “I’ve gone through it. I don’t know.”

Potter ignored him. “What do you have to do in the beginning, before you start brewing?”

Shrugging, Regulus looked at his sheet. “Get the ingredients?”

Potter made an approving noise. “Alright. And in this case, those are?”

“Uh.” Regulus checked in the book. “Fluxweed, knotgrass, lacewing flies, leeches, horn of bicorn, boomslang skin and a piece of the person you want to turn into.”

“Great.” Potter nodded. “Do any of those need to be prepped?”

“The lacewing flies are supposed to be crushed,” Regulus remembered without having to check. “Bicorn horn is supposed to be powdered, and boomslang skin shredded.”

“Good, yeah.” Potter smiled at him, reassuringly. “Anything else?”

Now, Regulus had to check with the book again. But there was nothing. Nothing else was supposed to be cut up or powdered or mushed. “I don’t know, everything else goes in whole.”

“Okay, but that’s not the only way you can prepare ingredients, right?” Potter pointed at the image of lacewing flies in the book. “Those for example need steeping before they can be used. For 21 days, you already wrote that down. Is that the only ingredient that only works when it’s undergone a certain process?”

“No.” Regulus stared at him. “I just told you a bunch of other ingredients.”

Potter smiled. “Reg, just bear with me, okay?”

Sighing, Regulus looked back at the ingredients list. Nothing. And then just to be sure, he checked the instructions one more time. And huh.

“Fluxweed,” he said then.

Potter’s face lit up. “Ah? What about that, then?”

“It’s supposed to be picked on a full moon.”

Excitedly, Potter slapped the table. “There we are! Fifty points to Slytherin!”

Despite himself, Regulus had to laugh. “You didn’t take any points from me and now you’re giving them to me? Are you trying to lose the house cup to us this year?”

Potter grabbed his chest. “When have I ever cared about the house cup? I’m still trying to win the record over most points lost by one person.” He shrugged. “Also, you deserved those points. You answered my question.”

“Yeah, after you gave me a thousand hints.” Still, Regulus felt an odd sense of pride in his chest.

“Nope, I just helped you think out loud.” He leaned back in his chair, confidently. “That’s what a good tutor does, Reggie.”

“You’re not my tutor,” Regulus said. “And don’t call me that.”

Potter shrugged. “Well, if I was your tutor, I’d tell you that if you use regular fluxweed, the hands and feet don’t transform. I’d tell you that if you’re planning to transform into someone who wears shoes and gloves, regular fluxweed would be fine. As a practical hint.”

“When would I need to brew Polyjuice Potion?” Regulus raised a brow. “I could just buy it.”

Potter stared for a moment and then he rolled his eyes. “Sure, if you’re rich and boring.”

“You’re rich and boring!” Regulus snapped.

“I may be rich!” Potter nodded. “But I am not boring! I reject this allegation!”

And yeah, Potter was many things. Obnoxious, annoying, arrogant, a show-off, over-confident, irresponsible for example. But boring was not an adjective Regulus would use to describe him.

“Fine, you’re rich and annoying,” Regulus corrected. “Better?”

Content, Potter nodded. “Yes. I will take that.”

Regulus rolled his eyes, packing up his things. “Do your homework, Potter.”

Potter grinned at him. “It’s James, by the way.”

“I know.” He got up. “Bye, Potter.” He could feel Potter’s eyes on him as he left.

Whimsy was back when the Slytherins walked into their Transfigurations class a few weeks later. Professor McGonagall was standing in front of her desk. As they came closer, Regulus discovered that there was a small cage around what looked like a potato on every student’s desk.

“Are those gnomes?” Barty whispered when they took their seats.

Regulus took a closer look and really, they did look like gnomes. He vaguely remembered Sirius smuggling one into their garden at home and how it had only taken one full day to turn into an infestation.

“Good afternoon,” McGonagall greeted them. “Today we will be transforming these gnomes into muggle garden gnomes.”

“What are muggle garden gnomes?” Barty whispered, leaving Regulus to shrug. He’d figured muggles just didn’t know about gnomes.

Evan raised his hand, but before he could ask the question, which was visible on most of the Slytherin’s faces, McGonagall walked around her desk, revealing a gnome of her own.

“I will demonstrate, look closely.”

Evan lowered his hand and leaned forward. Regulus did as well.

McGonagall waved her wand in a way Regulus could neither identify nor remember, probably, and then tapped the gnome. In an instant, it transformed. The legs grew thicker, the body smaller, the head pointier, and the colour changed. In the end, there was a stiff figurine of a little man with a beard, wearing garden gloves and a pointy hat, smiling at the class.

“That’s a muggle gnome?” Evan leaned to Barty. “What’s it for?”

“I don’t know,” Barty whispered back.

Regulus looked at his friends, brows furrowed in irritation. “Decoration, you idiots! It’s a bloody figurine.”

“Ooh. Someone’s snappy,” Barty grinned. “Sorry that we’re not as knowledgeable in muggle studies as you are.”

“Oh, piss off!”

“Right,” McGonagall clapped her hands. “We’ve practiced the spell and the movement. You can check in your textbooks if you need it. Whoever manages to transform their gnome first gets fifty points.” She put her wand away. “Start.”

There was motion in the classroom immediately. Some students skimming through their books, others trying right away.

Regulus was not naïve enough to believe he’d get it right without checking first. He was also not naïve enough to believe he’d earn his house fifty points in this class, so he wasn’t in a hurry.

Barty seemed to disagree. He waved his wand in a similar motion to McGonagall (Regulus assumed, as he’d immediately forgotten what it had looked like), mumbled the incantation and tapped his gnome.

Curious, Regulus watched as the gnome’s body morphed and a pointy hat formed. In the end, the gnome was still brown, but it had the correct shape. Barty grinned confidently, but McGonagall just tapped the gnome, and it was back to its former shape. “Try again, this time with colour, Mr Crouch.”

She turned her back just in time to miss Barty making a face at her. “Bitch. That was good, she just doesn’t want us to get the points.”

Regulus didn’t respond, instead looking for the incantation in his textbook. Once he’d found it, he took a breath, closed his eyes, and imagined the gnome on McGonagall’s desk. He opened them again, waved his wand in (hopefully) the correct way, and tapped his gnome.

Its body didn’t morph, but it sure did change colour. Where the hat was supposed to be, the gnome was read, the shape of the beard was visible on its body, as were his blue trousers and white shirt. But other than that, it was a regular gnome.

“Close,” McGonagall said when she saw. “Try again.”

In the end it took Regulus almost the entire lesson to get it right. But when he finally did, his muggle gnome was perfect.

Unlike Evan’s, which was still biting at you if you put your hand too close, or Barty’s, who never really got the colour thing down. His gnome was now a light beige instead of brown, but at least it was still.

Hufflepuff ended up winning the points, though. About twenty minutes in Anne Limpett finished hers. Regulus thought that was unfair, because Anne’s parents were muggles and he’d only seen a bloody muggle gnome for the first time today. But whatever. He wasn’t the one making the decisions.

“Oh.” McGonagall picked up his gnome and turned it in her hands, looking at every side of it. “That’s a perfect gnome.”

Heat rose in Regulus’ face, when he felt Barty roll his eyes at him. “I mean it’s my twelfth try,” he said then, more to Barty than to his teacher.

“Very good, Mr Black.” She set the gnome back down. “I know there are students in this class who gave up before reaching twelve.” She threw a pointed look to Evan, who was still sitting in front of his second attempt. “Ten points to Slytherin.”

Regulus blinked at her in surprise.

“For not giving up,” she added, giving him a smile.

Regulus took his gnome with him to dinner.

Maybe it was stupid, but he was kind of proud of it. Especially, because neither Barty nor Evan had managed to get their gnomes right in the end. Regulus figured he’d hide it in his room and maybe one day he’d have garden where he could put it in, like the muggles did.

“He gets one thing right.” Barty picked up the gnome, threw it in the air and caught it again.

Regulus snatched it back. “Throw your own gnome, Crouch!”

Scoffing, Barty leaned back. “Don’t get your knickers in a twist. Can just transfigure another one if I drop it.”

“It was a lot of work, okay?” Regulus hissed. Not that Barty would know about a lot of work. Regulus was sure he’d never had to work for anything in his life. Just like Sirius.

“Oh, sure.” Barty grinned. “It took twelve tries, Professor,” he mocked him.

Evan stifled his laugh with his hand. “You looked so eager when she praised you.”

And suddenly, Regulus wasn’t very hungry anymore. “I got us ten points, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, for the first time in your life,” Barty grinned. “Don’t think that McGonagall even knew you could speak.”

“Fuck off!” Regulus stuffed his gnome into his bag. “Just because you made daddy issues your entire personality doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t get to do well in class!”

He didn’t wait for a snarky response from Barty, instead fleeing the Great Hall with his gnome in his bag.

Regulus couldn’t go to his common room or dorm, because Barty and Evan would be going there after dinner. The library was going to close in a few minutes, and he didn’t fancy studying right now anyways. So, he ended up on the astronomy tower, leaning against the wall with his knees pulled up. His gnome was sitting next to him, out of his bag.

“I worked hard,” he told the gnome. “It’s not my fault that Barty gave up after three attempts! Just because everything comes easy to him. Just because he doesn’t know what it feels like when hard work pays off!”

The gnome stared blankly. After all, it was immobile.

“Eager.” Regulus shook his head. “He’s just jealous because I was the one who got praised. Because secretly he wants praise! He pretends that he doesn’t, but he does! Secretly he just wants his father to accept him, but he’s scared that he never will, so he just pretends to be a disappointment to keep himself from getting disappointed. Like—”

Like Sirius.

“Stupid!” Regulus told the gnome. “They’re all stupid!”

There was a knock behind him making Regulus jump and knock his gnome over.

“Sorry.” It was Potter. Of course, it was Potter. Because Potter had such impeccable timing. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Why are you here?” Regulus set his gnome straight.

Potter held up a book. “Forgot it earlier. Just came to pick it up.”

“Great, you’ve got it. So, leave.” Regulus turned away from him, looking at the sky. He didn’t have the patience to deal with Potter right now.

But he didn’t hear any movement. Rather, Potter seemed to stand still. “Are you—like are you okay?”

Regulus sighed. What a stupid question? Why did anyone even ask that, let alone Potter? Like Regulus was going to spill his thoughts and feelings for him just because he’d asked. “Do I not look okay?”

“No,” Potter said quietly. “You really don’t.”

And then Regulus sighed again and let his head fall onto his knees. Of course. Of course, Potter was empathetic enough to read the room. Well, not enough to leave him alone, apparently.

And maybe, Potter’s ability to read the room was more of a guessing game, because next Regulus heard him come closer and sit down next to him.

“You want to talk about it?”

Regulus tilted his head enough to look at Potter. He wasn’t grinning. He wasn’t even smiling. His face was blank, sincere. And Regulus got the feeling if he told him to leave, Potter would.

Instead, he buried his face back in his knees.

Potter sat beside him, quiet for once.

“I made a gnome.” Regulus said, pushing his gnome towards Potter.

“Oh.” He could hear his smile. “That’s a good one. I remember mine was still running away by the end of the lesson. Sirius’ one looked a lot like yours, though.”

Regulus groaned. Of course. “This is mine! Not Sirius’. I did that.”

“I know.” Potter said quickly. “I didn’t mean to—”

“He probably got it right on the first try and won the house points for you, didn’t he?” Of course he had. Regulus didn’t know why he was even asking. Like that was going to make him feel any better.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Reggie.” Potter chuckled. “Nobody gets it right on the first try.”

Regulus looked up again.

Potter shrugged. “He got it on the third and won the points for us.”

“Of course.” Regulus kicked his legs out, snatching his gnome back from Potter. “He’s a bloody genius, isn’t he?”

“He is, yeah.” Potter looked at him. “Is that why you’re upset?”

“I’m not upset!” Regulus said, sounding upset even to his own ears.

“Okay.” Potter nodded. “Sure. You sound very level-headed.”

Regulus scoffed.

Potter cleared his throat. “You know, Sirius being a genius doesn’t make you dumb, Regulus.”

“I am in comparison,” Regulus insisted. “Do I not spend enough time in his bloody shadow? Do I have to at school as well?”

“What?” Potter furrowed his brows. “That’s not true.”

“Of course, it’s true.” Regulus looked at his gnome, which apparently wasn’t his gnome at all. It was Sirius’ gnome. “I mean to you, I’m just Sirius’ little brother.”

“You’re not!” Potter said, this time sounding more adamant. “Why do you think that?”

“You’re just nice to me because you feel like you owe it to Sirius!” Regulus finally said what he’d known all along. “If I wasn’t Sirius’ brother, you’d jinx me in the halls like you do with my friends. And you would’ve given me detention and taken points away. You just feel sorry for me.”

“Regulus.”

“He probably told you,” Regulus shook his head. “What they used to do to him. And now you feel sorry for me. Well, you don’t have to. I’m not Sirius, they don’t need to punish me like they needed to punish him.”

“Regulus!” Potter said again, his hand reaching out, but freezing up half-way there. “That’s not why I’m nice to you.”

“Of course, it is!” Regulus squeezed the gnome in his hand. “What other reason is there? We are quite literally opponents in every way.”

Potter swallowed and pulled his hand back. “I’m sorry that you feel that way.”

Regulus scoffed.

“I am!” Potter let his fingers drum on his legs. “I was actually growing quite fond of you,” his voice was soft now. “Because you’re so different from Sirius. It’s refreshing, you know?”

Refusing to look up from his gnome, Regulus raised a brow. “That so?”

“For example,” Potter sighed, “if you were Sirius, I’d just hug you and tell you you’re good enough, no matter what your parents told you. And then you’d hug me back and we’d share a joint. But something tells me you don’t like to be touched, so I’m kind of out of my depth here.”

Regulus huffed. “He doesn’t think he’s good enough?”

Potter stiffened next to him. “I didn’t say that.”

It was ridiculous. Sirius, who’d never once in his life tried to gain their parents approval was supposed to have confidence issues? Sirius, who had everything handed to him and then threw it all away just because he could? Yeah, Regulus wasn’t buying it.

“Doesn’t matter.” Regulus leaned back. “You have a joint?”

“Uh.” Potter reached into his robe. “I kind of owe that one to Moony, but—”

Regulus had already snatched it out of his hand. “Now it’s mine.”

“I thought you’re never smoking weed again?” Potter grinned.

“For Merlin’s sake, do you ever just shut up?” Regulus lit it with his wand, feeling Potter’s curious eyes on him.

“Did you know you can do that one easily without a wand?”

Regulus rolled his eyes inhaling. “Maybe you can, I can’t.” Not that he’d ever tried to be fair.

Potter shrugged. “Suit yourself.” He took the joint from Regulus, who looked at him affronted. “What? It’s my weed, isn’t it?”

“Sure.” Regulus let him have it and waited patiently for his turn. “So, how are things?” If they were going to get high together, they might as well make polite conversation.

“Things?” Potter asked before exhaling.

“Yeah, things.” Regulus shrugged. “Like with your girlfriend for example.” He took the joint from between Potter’s fingers.

For a while, he didn’t answer. Then, “Reggie, you do realise that being Head Boy and Head Girl doesn’t mean we’re together, right?”

“You are, though.” Regulus took a drag. “And don’t call me that.”

“We’re not,” Potter chuckled. “I mean I was pretty into her at some point, but she’s made it very obvious that she wasn’t, isn’t and never will be into me.”

Regulus hummed. “Sucks.”

Potter shrugged. “Yeah. I got over it. Don’t think we’d have made a good couple anyways.”

“Absolutely not,” Regulus agreed.

“Oi!” Potter shifted, looking at him. “What’s that supposed mean?”

Regulus looked at him. His dark brows were raised in offence, brown eyes scanning Regulus’ face like he was trying to read him, like he was probably reading Sirius all the time. He sighed. “Calm down, Potter. I wasn’t talking about blood status. Not really, anyways.”

“Go on.” Potter took the joint, still looking at Regulus sceptically.

“She’s a rule follower, you’re a rule breaker,” he explained easily. “You’ve got your own moral compass, and she trusts that whoever is in charge knows best. Honestly, she’s probably more of a Slytherin than a Gryffindor. If she wasn’t a mu—”

“Hey!” Potter interrupted.

Regulus gave him an unimpressed look. “Muggleborn witch,” he finished his sentence. “Merlin, Potter. Unlike you, I can read the room.”

Potter hesitated for a second before handing the joint over. “If trusting authority is a Slytherin trait, your friends haven’t got the memo.”

Regulus snorted. “Yeah, they did. They just don’t consider Dumbledore the authority.”

“Who else?” It was as though Potter couldn’t control his volume now.

Chuckling, Regulus took another drag. “See, he doesn’t conform to the values we’ve been taught. So, it’s easy to make him look like the crazy one.”

The sun was going down, and Regulus watched as the grounds beneath them were painted in purple. It was beautiful, Regulus thought. And he quietly wondered why he didn’t come up here to watch the sunset more often.

“What about you?”

“Hm?” Regulus handed the joint over.

Potter was looking, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “What do you believe?”

And wasn’t that the question these days?

If his parents asked him, Regulus knew what to say. Magic needed to be preserved, kept pure. It was his legacy as a member of the sacred 28 to keep it that way. Keep impure magic, impure blood out of their family, their bloodline. That mixing magic and muggles resulted in a dilution of power and one day all magic as they knew it would be eradicated. That muggles and their children needed to stay out of magic society to save magic itself.

Regulus knew it all, had said it all. But did he believe it?

When he and Sirius had been younger, too young to go to Hogwarts, their uncle Alphard would watch them whenever their parents were out of town. They’d known that he and their mother didn’t get along very well, but he’d been family. Regulus and his brother had spent weeks looking forward to their sleepovers with Alphard. He’d always tell them stories, bring them gifts from all around the world. And then, one time, Alphard had told them something he shouldn’t have.

Regulus hadn’t finished his homework assignment from that day, and he’d still been working on it when Alphard and Sirius had entered the study for a game of chess. Alphard had looked over his shoulder and he’d scoffed. “That’s the stuff she teaches you?” he’d asked.

Sirius had crossed his little arms, tilted his head, and asked what was wrong with that stuff. And Alphard had told them.

“Magic isn’t hereditary,” he’d said, plopping into the velvet armchair in the corner.

“It is!” Sirius had argued. “That’s why we’re—”

“Then why do Squibs exist?” Alphard had challenged. “Why do muggleborns exist? How does that happen?”

“It just does,” Regulus had argued. “It’s a mistake.”

Alphard had chuckled. “Do you know how many muggleborn witches and wizards get their letters to Hogwarts every year, boys?”

Sirius had shrugged. “I don’t know. Like two?”

“Forty percent,” Alphard had corrected. “Almost half of all new students every year are muggleborn. Does that sound like a mistake?”

“Squibs are, though!” Regulus had told him. “There aren’t nearly as many.”

“Sure, there are.” Alphard had said casually. “People just don’t like talking about them. Like your great uncle Marius.”

Regulus and Sirius had looked at each other. They’d never heard of a Marius Black before.

After that night, Alphard hadn’t come to watch them anymore. Instead, their great aunt Irma had taken over that duty, ignoring all questions they would ask about her brother-in-law.

But it had never left Regulus’ mind. And he knew Sirius was starting to doubt at that moment. Sirius, who was smart enough to do his own research, who improvised spells to check erased records, who compared the holes in the tapestry with birth records in their library. Sirius had stopped believing then. And maybe, if Alphard hadn’t said anything, maybe Sirius would share a common room with Regulus today.

“Reggie?” Potter asked and pulled him back to reality.

“I don’t know,” Regulus said quietly. “Haven’t made up my mind yet.” When he looked at Potter, he was beaming. And Regulus thought he got it, then. How Sirius liked him so much. Because nobody had ever looked at Regulus like that. Like he was enjoying his time with him, like he was interested in him, like he believed in him. Like he was happy Regulus existed.

“You will,” he said then knocking his shoulder into Regulus’. “I know you will.”

Regulus tore his eyes away, looking back at the sun setting. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to.

Potter insisted on walking Regulus to the dungeons once again when they’d finished the joint. “Would hate to see you end up in another broom cupboard.”

Regulus had rolled his eyes, but he hadn’t complained. In truth, he didn’t want to spend the night in a cupboard either.

“I’m sure your friends are wondering where you are,” Potter said when they were strolling through the castle, neither of them feeling very rushed.

Regulus scoffed. “I’m sure they’re not.” He was actually dreading going back and having to sit through Barty’s judgemental gaze. Hopefully, he was still asleep.

“Really?” Potter looked at him, stretching out his right arm to touch the wall with his fingertips. “Sirius, Remus and Pete would search the entire castle for me if I was just gone.” He paused. “Well, it wouldn’t take them very long, granted—”

“Well, I’m not you,” Regulus interrupted. “And my friends aren’t your friends.”

Potter nodded. “That is true, Reggie.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Behind him, Potter was chuckling. “Do you really want me to stop calling you that?” he asked, catching up to him, “or do you just enjoy blowing me off?”

Regulus decided to ignore the question. “Where are your precious friends then, Potter?” he asked instead.

“Call me James,” Potter said, eyes locked on Regulus’ face. He was staring and it should be uncomfortable, but Regulus didn’t mind. Probably the weed.

“No.”

Because there was something seriously wrong with him, James chuckled at that. “I bet I’ll like the way you say my name. I bet it’ll make my knees weak.”

Suddenly, Regulus’ mouth felt dry. He risked a look at Potter, who was unabashedly staring at him. His mouth was formed into a grin, but not cocky, not arrogant like it so often was. It was almost… anticipating.

“What are you talking about?” Regulus whispered, because his voice wouldn’t let him speak any louder.

James’ eyes flickered to Regulus’ lips for just a moment. They were back up so quickly that Regulus almost thought he’d imagined it. But he hadn’t. Had he?

“Nothing,” he said then, licking his lips and turning away. “Come on. We’re almost there.”

And Regulus followed. Trying not to think about the way Potter had looked at him. About the way that look had made something in his stomach flip. About the way he’d suddenly felt lighter than weed had ever made him feel.

Barty and Evan, both ignored him when he came back that night. Of course, Evan did as well, spineless little git. But the next morning, Barty seemed to have calmed down and things were normal. Regulus didn’t even have to give a fake apology in the end. They even came down to the library to do homework with him.

A choice Regulus regretted immediately, when he saw Potter sitting by himself, bag propped up on the chair next to him. He looked up when Regulus, Barty and Evan entered and without missing a beat looked back down, pretending like was busy.

And Regulus sat down in a corner with his friends, pretending like he wouldn’t rather sit with Potter.

Something had to be wrong with his brain, though, because the next day, Regulus made up an excuse about some study schedule he’d set himself to go to the library by himself. Neither Evan nor Barty questioned it.

But James wasn’t there.

The next day Regulus finished his homework in twenty minutes but waited another half hour. But James wasn’t there.

Regulus was getting rather irritated by his absence. Was he mad at him for showing up with his friends? It wasn’t like they were study partners. Or like Potter was his tutor. Even if he thought so.

So, when he went out on the Quidditch pitch on Saturday evening, trying to reward himself for the productive week, he wasn’t too pleased to see James.

To be fair, he didn’t see him right away. It was only, when he was up in the air, that he noticed the figure sitting on the bleachers, broom leaned against the seat next to him.

Rather than ignoring him, Regulus figured this was a good time as ever to confront him. So, he flew over, landing softly a few rows in front of Potter.

“Potter!”

He looked up, wiping his nose. “Reg—”

“Where have you been?”

Potter blinked at him, confused. “Right here.”

Regulus scoffed. “I don’t mean today. This week! You weren’t in the library!”

Potter opened his mouth but then closed it again, like a fish on land.

Regulus crossed his arms. “Are you punishing me or something? Because we are not official study partners, you know? I am allowed to go to the library with someone else! How was I supposed to know that you were there?”

“Wow, wow, wow. Regulus!” James raised his hands, stopping him. “I’m not punishing you. I genuinely didn’t think you’d even notice my absence.”

Regulus deflated. Way to make him feel silly. Heat travelled up his neck. He wanted to say something to defend himself, but he felt like anything he could say would make him look more foolish.

“But I’m flattered that you did,” Potter said now, grinning.

And then it clicked.

Because that grin looked all wrong. It was only half as broad as it should be and didn’t reach his eyes. The brown in them wasn’t as vibrant as it usually was either. And they were bloodshot and watery, red around the rims. His nose was red, too. And there were red splotches on his neck.

Regulus forgot all about his own embarrassment. James Potter had been crying. James Potter, the personification of happiness, had been crying.

“What’s wrong?”

James’ fake grin slipped. “Nothing.”

It reminded him of himself, seeing James’ façade crumble so easily. When he’d been younger, Regulus had been the same. Soft, weak. He’d learned to hide better, though.

“You’re a bad liar,” Regulus pointed out.

He wasn’t sure what in his words had caused it, but James let out a quiet sob before slapping his hand over his mouth and collapsing in on himself.

So, Regulus stood there. A sobbing James Potter sitting in front of him. He still had his broom between his legs.

Unsure, Regulus dismounted the broom and climbed up until he was next to James. “Do you want to talk about it?” he echoed what James had asked him in the astronomy tower.

James raised his head at that, wiping his tears in a futile attempt to stop crying. “I don’t – I don’t know.”

“Okay.” Regulus looked out into the distance. What was he supposed to do with that?

But James took over. “My—my dad. He’s sick.”

“Oh.”

If Regulus hadn’t been out of his depth before, he definitely was now. Grief, he didn’t do grief. He’d never even lost anyone.

“And I don’t—” James shook his head, taking a pause to try and calm his breathing.

“Hey.” Regulus reached over, placing his hand on James’ back. “In and out, right?”

James was trying, he could feel that he was trying. So, Regulus slipped in front of him, placing his hand on his chest instead of his back and keeping eye contact.

“Here.” He took James’ hand and placed it on his own chest. “Let’s do it together, yeah?”

James nodded.

“In.” Regulus took a deep breath and James a shaky one of his own.

“Out.”

James’ heart was racing under Regulus’ palm and Regulus could feel his own speed up.

“In. And out.”

He kept breathing with him, until James could follow him, and his tears had stopped. “Better?”

James nodded.

Regulus took that as a sign to slip back into his seat next to him. His hands in his lap, away from James’ warm skin.

“I’m really sorry,” he said then, quietly. “About your dad.”

James sniffled and nodded. “Yeah.” He looked towards the sky. “I figured flying would clear my head, but my dad taught me everything I know.” His voice broke.

Regulus had never seen anything this heartbreaking. James, who was sunshine and rainbows, to the point where it was annoying, sitting next to him like a cloud of rain. He found himself wishing he could do something, anything, to make him feel better.  

“And I was doing so well, too.” James chuckled but there was no joy in it. “Sirius, he didn’t even make it to the common room before breaking down. And I was holding him and telling him things will be fine. And we’d be alright. And I was doing so well.” James’ voice got quiet.

Regulus tried not to be jealous. Tried not to resent James a little for getting to comfort his brother. Regulus’ brother. He’d never seen Sirius break down. Sirius didn’t break down. Sirius didn’t cry. And the fact that he did with James broke something inside him.

“What if he doesn’t get to see me graduate?” James asked, looking at Regulus through clouded eyes. As if Regulus could give any satisfying answer to that.

“He will,” Regulus heard himself say. “I don’t think he’d miss it.”

“Fuck.” James’ face scrunched up again as a new wave of tears dropped. “He won’t be at my wedding. Won’t play with my kids.”

“He’s not dead yet, James,” Regulus interrupted. “Don’t think about that now.”

James was looking at him again, wiping his tears.

“Christmas break is soon. You’re going home then, yeah?”

James nodded.

“Then just look forward to that,” Regulus said. “Enjoy yourself. Have a picture-perfect Christmas. Give the perfect gift, eat delicious food. Enjoy every moment you get.”

And the sad smile on James’ face told him he’d said the right thing.

“Sorry,” James said then, using both hands to wipe his tears. “This is really insensitive. You’re spending Christmas with your family and I’m crying.”

With a tsk, Regulus rolled his eyes. “James. First of all, you don’t owe it to me to be fine. And second, I’m perfectly fine spending Christmas at home.”

For a few seconds, James just looked at him, face unreadable. Then, he sniffled and smiled weakly. “You called me James.”

Regulus furrowed his brows. “I did not.”

“Yeah, you did.” Potter grinned at him; this time it even reached his eyes. “Twice.”

He really had. Shrugging, Regulus crossed his arms. “You have no proof.”

“I don’t need proof.” Potter reached out, tucking a loose curl behind Regulus’ ear. “I did like the way you say it.”

Regulus cleared his throat and willed the flips in his belly to stop. Still, even when James had pulled back, Regulus still felt flustered. “You’re distracting me,” he accused him.

James’ eyes on him were intense. It felt like the space between them was crackling with electricity. “What if I’m distracting myself?” His brown eyes slipped to Regulus’ mouth. And when Regulus’ did the same, James licked his lips.

Regulus wanted to lean in. He wanted to feel James’ lips on his. The taste of him on his tongue. His hands on his body.

But James’ face was still wet. His eyes still red. His hands still shaky.

So, Regulus turned away instead. “I’m not a distraction.”

Potter stiffened. “I didn’t—”

“I should probably leave you alone.” Regulus got up. “That’s why you came here, right?”

Potter swallowed but nodded. “I guess so.”

“Good.” Regulus grabbed his broom and turned to walk away. But then, he stopped and turned back again. “You don’t have to come to the library every day. I—it was stupid. You’re busy with your own life. I don’t expect you to make time for me.” Because they weren’t even friends. James Potter was Sirius’ friend. Not Regulus’.

Before Potter could be dumb enough to respond, Regulus mounted his broom and flew away.

Regulus didn’t know what he’d been expecting when he went home. But it sure hadn’t been a formal dinner with Bella and her husband. It hadn’t been his parents asking Bella leading questions about this new political party she was in. And it definitely hadn’t been Bella offering him a spot.

“The Dark Lord doesn’t have any reach into Hogwarts yet,” she told him, eyes wide with excitement. “Most of us are of age, but I figured we could use some fresh blood.”

Regulus glanced at his parents, who both gave him reassuring looks. “Am I allowed to join if I’m underage?”

Bella shrugged. “I don’t think it matters. Besides, you could ask some of your friends from school. Spread the message. And once they are of age, we’ll have half of Hogwarts on our side.”

“Side?” Regulus asked carefully. He hadn’t been aware that there were sides.

Regardless, half of Hogwarts was incredibly ambitious. Counting out all halfbloods and muggleborns, there was only about a third of students left. And if you subtracted the blood traitors, well… Regulus didn’t think they’d even get an eighth.

“We’re not officially at war, yet.”

Yet?

Regulus stared at her. Yet.

“Who are we going to be at war with?”

“Everyone!” She smiled a mad smile that froze the blood in Regulus’ veins. “We’re going to take back what’s ours!”

Still unsure, Regulus looked back to his parents.

“Think about it, Regulus,” his mum started, “who will even remember that you had a brother once you’ll fulfil your legacy? Once you’re known to have fought on the right side of history? Our name will be pure, as will our bloodline.”

It was getting hard to breathe.

Regulus had always known that with Sirius’ banishment came a responsibility for him. Marry a pureblood girl, have children, keep the family alive. And he was fine with that. But fight in a war… start a war… Regulus wasn’t fine with that. Whatsoever.

“You can fix what your brother broke,” his dad agreed.

Regulus could feel everybody’s eyes on him. His heart was racing, and he had to clench his fists to keep his hands from shaking. “I—I guess. If that’s what it takes.”

The warm smile on his father’s face felt like both a punishment and a reward at the same time. “I knew you’d say yes. I knew you’d do what’s best for this family.”

Unlike Sirius, hung in the room, unsaid.

The rest of the dinner passed quietly with Bella talking about the Dark Lord’s plans for their future. A future where muggles were put into their place. Where not only were they excluded from magical life, but where wizards stepped out from the shadows and took their rightful place as rulers of the world.

Regulus had never heard anything like that. He thought his family’s views were extreme. But whoever Bella had met, his were worse. They were so much worse. And for the first time in his life, Regulus considered following in Sirius’ footsteps.

Christmas day came and with it the extended family. Great aunts and uncles Regulus had only seen sixteen times in his life, people his mother had never uttered a positive word about, but whom she was having small talk with now. And all of them could only talk about one thing. The revolution.

They’d lost their minds. If they’d ever had one to begin with.

“You know, I’ve always wondered why we are the ones hiding,” said one old man whose name escaped Regulus. “We are the superior race. After Grindelwald nobody dared speak it, but—”

Grindelwald’s name was coming up a lot these days. Apparently, the Dark Lord was a more determined, younger version of him. A more dedicated version.

“I heard he’s not scared of Dumbledore,” said another witch. “To think of the world, we could live in right now, if Dumbledore hadn’t intervened.”

Regulus knew the history, of course. But even his parents hadn’t been dumb enough to defend Grindelwald in the past.

But that had changed.

“If anyone can do it, the Dark Lord can.”

Regulus excused himself halfway through dinner, after someone had made a joke about replacing house elves with muggles.

“You do look a bit pale,” Narcissa had noticed. “Are the dungeons in Hogwarts still as cold?”

Regulus nodded despite not having any idea what she was talking about.

“Poor boy.” She turned to his parents. “I do believe Dumbledore refuses to give enough firewood to the common room to make the purebloods uncomfortable.”

That seemed plausible to everyone at the table and Regulus wasn’t dumb enough to correct her.

“You are excused,” his mother said calmly. “Kreacher will send you something up. Try to eat.”

“Thank you, Mother.” Regulus pushed his chair back, bowing his head in respect and then left the room.

He locked the door behind himself and fell into his bed almost immediately. “No,” he whispered to his ceiling. “They can’t expect that from me. I’m still in school.” They couldn’t expect him to fight a war and pass his exams at the same time. But the way people were talking, exams were the least of his worries.

And he’d already said yes. What other choice did he have? He had no James he could run off to. And he had another year of school. Another year that he’d have to return. He couldn’t run. He couldn’t.

“Master!”

Regulus startled at Kreacher’s sudden appearance. “Oh. Sorry. Hi.” He reached for the plate the elf was carrying. “Thank you, Kreacher.”

The house elf nodded. “There was something else delivered for Master Regulus today.” He pulled out a square package. “It said to give it to the master directly.”

“Okay.” Regulus put the plate down on his bedside table to take the package. It was slim and light. The handwriting wasn’t familiar to Regulus. “Thank you. You can go.”

Kreacher bowed and with a plop was gone.

Carefully, Regulus removed the bow on the package and slid it open. There was a note inside.

Merry Christmas, Reggie.
I’m having a picture-perfect Christmas. I hope you are, too.
Love, James (If anyone else reads this, my last name is not Potter. It’s Weasl Carow!)

Regulus stared at the card. Underneath, there were chocolates.

James had sent him a Christmas present.

Stupid James Potter.

Stupid, adorable, James Potter.

After Christmas, they didn’t want to wait too long.

Bella took him along with her into a dungeon-esque building, where he would be initiated. And with him about a dozen other wizards and witches. Most of them around Bella’s age.

Before he knew what was happening, before he could even summon the bravery to back out, the handsome man in the front greeted them. He talked about his plans, their plans. Their goals. He talked about their superiority. He talked about how every single person in this room was going to help to fix history.

And then Regulus was standing in a line. And then it was his turn to hold his left arm out. The handsome Dark Lord pointed his wand at it, smiling at Regulus. “Don’t worry. It won’t hurt.”

Not only was he insane, but he was also a liar. Because Regulus’ arm felt like it was on fire after he’d cast the incantation. He was so focused on staying quiet, that he only looked down after the pain was gone. And he’d been branded. There was no way out.

Not anymore.

And James’ box of chocolates seemed to stare at him accusingly when he got back home. His parents had bought him new robes, they sat right next to the chocolates.

Like the gifts were mocking him.

Because whatever he did, somebody was going to be unhappy with him. Somebody was going to be disappointed. And Regulus so badly wanted that person to not be James. But he could not let his parents down. Not after Sirius. Not after what they had done for him.

He was in an impossible position.

On the Hogwarts Express, Barty and Evan were gushing over his mark.

“Woah!” Evan reached out. “Can I touch it?”

“Sure.” Regulus shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt.”

“But did it?” Barty asked.

“A bit,” Regulus lied.

“Gotta be prepared for when I get it,” Barty grinned. “My dad wouldn’t allow it, though.”

Regulus pulled his arm away, hiding the mark under his sleeve. “Well, mine was eager enough.”

“Yeah, naturally,” Evan shrugged, “After your brother.”

“As far as they’re concerned, I don’t have a brother.” Regulus sighed. “Whatever, I just hope they’ll let me finish my exams in peace. Maybe by the time we’re out of school the whole thing will have blown over.”

“I doubt that.” Barty grinned. “Word is the Dark Lord is recruiting in the Ministry and people are getting laid off for it.”

“What?” Evan furrowed his brows. “They can’t do that!”

“They sure can,” Barty nodded. “My father says that him and his followers are what’s giving us purebloods a bad name, but I think you’ve got to respect the man. I mean, we all know Grindelwald was right, but we’ve just been too scared to say it.”

“He wasn’t right!” Regulus said vigorously. “And if you think he was, you’ve lost it.”

Barty looked at him. For a second, he seemed surprised. But then, he just grinned. “Don’t shout a me, mate. You’re the one with the mark.”

Regulus looked down at his arm. It felt like the mark was burning again.

He avoided the library.

He tried to tell himself that it was because he didn’t need to go. He could do all his homework with only his textbook; he didn’t need to do any further reading. But it was bullshit. Nothing had changed. Except for the skin on his left arm.

He was scared to meet Potter. To have to look in his stupid happy and kind face and have to lie.

In the end, it didn’t last very long.

Regulus was in the astronomy tower watching as the sun set when someone cleared their throat behind him.

“Bloody hell.” Of course it was Potter. “Have you got a sixth sense or are you following me?”

Potter laughed; a bit too loud. “What? No. Coincidence, Reggie. Coincidence. I mean how would I know where you are at all times? I’m not omniscient.”

Regulus stared at him. “Why are you saying it like that?”

Innocently, Potter’s big eyes stared back. “Like what?”

“Like you are in fact omniscient.”

Shrugging, Potter dropped to the floor next to him. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Reggie.”

“Not my name.”

Potter smiled at him. “Did you get my gift? I wasn’t sure because you didn’t write anything back. But then I don’t know if you can without your parents knowing, so…”

Right. Regulus should’ve written back. Even just a simple thank you letter would have been enough. The bare minimum actually. But he’d forgotten. Or he’d felt too guilty. Whatever. He hadn’t.

“Yeah, I got it.” He tried to smile back. “Thank you. I didn’t know you were going to get me something, or I would’ve gotten you something as well.”

Potter made a dismissive hand gesture. “Ah. Forget about it. Your smile is enough of a gift.”

“I don’t smile,” Regulus said, face neutral.

Potter looked at him. It felt like he was looking into Regulus’ soul, smiling softly at him. “Yeah, you do.”

And Regulus’ belly was doing flips again as those beautiful brown eyes blinked at him. “You’ve got no proof,” Regulus whispered.

Suddenly, Potter’s smile froze, as if he’d just remembered their last conversation. “Listen, about that—”

Regulus shook his head. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.” He chewed on his lower lip. “I wasn’t in the right mind, you were right.”

Oh.

Okay.

So. Potter was going to apologize for flirting with him, then. Because he only did it because he wasn’t in the right mind.

That wasn’t hurtful. Because if it were, Regulus would be emotionally invested in this relationship. When they didn’t have any kind of relationship. They weren’t even friends. And Regulus knew that. So, he wasn’t hurt.

At all.

“I just.” Potter licked his lips and Regulus looked away. “I want you to know that I didn’t want to kiss you because I needed a distraction.”

What was Regulus supposed to say to that?

Potter hadn’t even wanted to kiss him. And he’d been so stupid and so obvious that now he felt forced to clear the air.

Bloody hell.

Regulus was such a loser.

He wanted to get up and leave and go to bed and not wake up for days.

But then Potter was smiling at him again, and he still couldn’t control what his stupid belly did when that happened. So, he just stayed, looking at Potter.

“I kind of want to kiss you all the time,” Potter said then, sheepishly.

And Regulus sat up.

Because – what?

“Sorry, what did you say?”

He must’ve heard wrong. Surely, James Potter hadn’t said—

“I want to kiss you,” he said it again. “It’s all I can think about when I see you, really.” His cheeks blushed.

James Potter was blushing.

“And I mean, you don’t have to—like feel pressured by me,” he added quickly. “If you reject me, I won’t like—try anything. But I just… I need you to reject me and then I can move on.”

Regulus didn’t know what his face was doing. Had no control over it. “Uhm.”

What was he supposed to say?

He couldn’t kiss James Potter.

No matter how much he wanted to. No matter how badly he wanted to just lean in. Feel James’ hands in his hair. On his body. His lips. His tongue—Oh.

No.

James was grinning now, turning away from Regulus. “Sorry. I made it weird, right?” He groaned into his hands. “Urgh. I always do. Move too fast, say too much. Sorry.” He sighed. “I’ll leave. I’m sorry. It’s weird that I came here.” He scrambled to his feet. “You wanted to be alone, probably. I’ll just—”

Regulus wanted to get up, too. Wanted to grab James by his collar and shut him up with a kiss.

But he couldn’t move.

“I’ll see you in the library.” James waved at him awkwardly. “Bye, Reggie.”

“Bye James.”

James disappeared not before blushing at him one more time.

Bloody hell.