I Lied
Regulus returned to Barty’s after the chaos of breakfast with James and Sirius.
They had come clean about everything—the summer spent together, how James had moved back to Lily, how he regretted it all, how he was foolishly in love with Regulus. That part had stunned him. Regulus never thought anyone could truly love him—not like that—and yet.
They unraveled the past few months, exposing every tangled mess between Barty and James, the gut-wrenching push and pull, the tearing-apart of it all. And by the end, Regulus had come clean too. Sirius had pushed him to it, but somewhere along the way, he had broken. He had confessed everything he had buried deep inside. He told James he wanted him—not loved, not yet, but he wanted him. He wanted him.
Sirius had come clean as well. He admitted to seeing Regulus kiss James at the races. He explained the crash, how Lupin had taken him to the hospital, how Sirius had given Remus no choice but to let him stay at his place. He explained why he had ghosted them all week—because he couldn’t bear to see either of them.
There had been shouting, insults thrown like knives, but in between them, there were apologies too. Sirius had explained about the letters, about how he had written every week, and how awfully, terribly sorry he was that Regulus had never received them.
It had been a brutal morning—raw and heavy—but by the end of breakfast, it felt as if a weight had been lifted from all their shoulders.
Now, however, as Regulus stepped into Barty’s room like it belonged to him, his eyes fell on someone else in his spot.
Curled up on the bed, Evan stirred at the intrusion. At the sight of Regulus, Barty jolted upright, panic flashing across his face.
"No, sit down!" Regulus warned, voice sharp.
For a fleeting moment, something passed over Evan’s expression—a flicker of pain, resignation. It was written all over his face: how much it hurt that Barty was still tangled up in Regulus, still caught in his gravity. It shouldn’t be like this. Barty didn’t want Regulus. Not like that. And now, for the first time, he had someone he did want.
So why was he still throwing it away?
Lovers, his ass. Regulus had never believed in that. They had been best friends first, before anything else, and he couldn’t watch Barty wreck himself over something that was never going to last. Maybe, deep down, he had selfishly wished it could’ve been him—somehow—even if he loved James Potter. But this? This couldn’t continue. Not for him, not for Evan.
Evan rose to his feet, moving to stand beside Regulus, offering him a small nod of acknowledgment.
They sat Barty down, right in the middle—Regulus standing to his right, Evan to his left. The air between them felt like a blade, sharp and suffocating.
“You have to choose,” Regulus said, his voice low but firm.
Evan finished for him, softer but no less piercing. “We need to know.”
Barty wished someone would shoot him; it would hurt less than this. Choosing between Regulus and Evan—ha. What a cruel joke. He couldn’t believe they were doing this, forcing him to face emotions he’d spent years burying. But then again, he understood. After everything, he owed them this much.
He sighed, his gaze shifting between the two, lingering just a second longer on Regulus. There he was—the first boy he’d ever wanted. Regulus Black, with skin as pale as snow and eyes as deep as the ocean. He had been it for Barty, the center of his world before he even knew what it meant to want someone. But then… the heart wants what it wants. Against his will, Barty’s eyes flicked to Evan, and there they stayed, stuck like glue.
Blame it on coincidence—the way Evan had opened the door when Barty was expecting someone else. Ever since that moment, he couldn’t get Evan out of his head. He hadn’t meant to let anyone else in, just as he hadn’t meant to fall for Regulus. It had just… happened. A stupid, senseless coincidence. One that would be the undoing of everything.
Regulus must have seen it too. His expression twisted, and he let out a harsh sigh.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered before turning to leave, his movements sharp and controlled, like he was holding himself together by sheer force of will.
Despite what it meant for Regulus, there was relief in Evan’s eyes—subtle but undeniable. A soft exhale, a loosening of his shoulders. Barty wanted him. Even as Barty’s feet moved of their own accord, following Regulus.
“Wait—” Barty called, scrambling from the chair and chasing after him.
When they were far enough from Evan to be alone, Regulus stopped abruptly and whirled to face him. His eyes glinted with something glassy—not tears, but close enough.
“You’re doing it again!” he snapped, his voice cracking under the strain of his emotions. “Why are you pushing me away? Why him and not me? What does he have that I don’t?” His voice rose with every question, his composure fraying. “I don’t understand! You said you couldn’t do it, right? Is that why? Or was it just me? Am I the problem? Why not me? And don’t give me some bullshit excuse—”
“Because it’s always been you!” Barty blurted, cutting him off, his voice raw and desperate.
Regulus froze. For a moment, the only sound between them was Barty’s ragged breathing, his chest heaving as though he’d just sprinted a mile.
“What?” Regulus whispered, disbelief etched across his face.
“I lied,” Barty admitted, his voice quieter now, heavy with exhaustion. “When I told you I didn’t want you, when I acted like you meant nothing to me—I lied. After I pushed you away, I… I don’t know. I think I only realized I’d fallen for you when it was too late, when you were already over me.” He ran a hand through his hair, frustration clear in every movement. “It wasn’t fair to you—not after I rejected you. So I tried to convince myself that I didn’t love you, that I didn’t care. I bottled it up, buried it, used meaningless hookups to distract myself. But nothing worked. Nothing ever made it go away.”
He paused, his voice faltering. “Over time, it faded—what I felt for you. It did. But you never really left me. You were always there, in the back of my mind, tugging at me like a leech I couldn’t get rid of.”
Regulus flinched, the words hitting like a physical blow.
“But it wasn’t fair,” Barty continued, his voice shaking. “You were over me. Things were good between us. I didn’t want to ruin that. And you… you deserve better than me. You’re the greatest thing to ever exist, but we don’t—” He broke off, struggling to find the words. “You and me? We wouldn’t make each other whole. We’d tear each other apart. And I don’t care about myself, but you? You deserve to be whole.”
He hesitated, his hand raking through his hair again. “And Evan… I don’t know. I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just… did. But please, Reg, don’t be mad. You’re still my number one. It’s just… different with him.”
Regulus’s voice was barely above a whisper when he asked, “Do you love him?”
Barty hesitated, then turned the question back on him. “Do you love him?” he asked, meaning James Potter.
Regulus’s eyes dropped to the floor, guilt and pain flickering across his face. “You know I do,” he murmured, his voice so soft it was almost inaudible.
“Then what does it matter if I do?” Barty asked quietly.
Because what did it matter if Barty wanted Evan when Regulus wasn’t his to want? He hadn’t been Barty’s since James Potter had re-entered his life. It was a losing battle from the start, and Barty had lost.
Regulus swallowed hard, his cheeks flushed as he tried to hold back tears. “I deserve to know,” he croaked.
“I do,” Barty confessed. His voice was soft, almost breaking. “I mean…I think I do, as much as I can love anyone.”
Regulus scoffed, his laugh laced with bitter affection. “Don’t sell yourself short, you dumbass. You’ve loved me, haven’t you? And it was…” He hesitated, his voice faltering. “It was good, Barty. Better than I ever could have asked for.”
Barty’s chest ached at those words. “So…what now?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “Do we just—are we done?”
Regulus shook his head slowly, a wistful smile playing on his lips. “It can’t be over if it never really started, can it?” He sighed, his gaze searching Barty’s face. “You’re my best friend. That won’t change. And you…” His voice softened as he continued, “You deserve to be happy—with him. I’ll cherish you forever, but…I get it. I understand.”
Barty stepped closer, his movements hesitant, as if afraid the fragile moment might shatter. He pressed his forehead gently against Regulus’, shutting his eyes as if the closeness could make the pain disappear.
“Reg, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he murmured. “And I do love you—I always will.”
Regulus blinked rapidly, a single tear escaping and sliding down his cheek. His voice cracked as he asked, “You will?”
As if instinctively, Barty reached up, brushing the tear away with his thumb. His touch was featherlight, lingering as though memorizing the feeling. “Yeah,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. “That’s the problem.”
A strained silence settled between them, charged with everything left unsaid. Finally, Barty leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to Regulus’ cheek before stepping back.
“But I—” he began, his words faltering.
“I know,” Regulus interrupted softly, his voice steady despite the tears threatening to spill. “I know.”
Regulus rubbed his eyes, exhaustion settling deep in his bones. He hadn’t known this was what he was signing up for when he fell for Barty, but, truthfully, he wasn’t bitter.
He liked Evan. He was a decent guy—steady, warm in a way that Barty had always needed but never sought out. And when Barty looked at him, there was something different in his eyes—something softer, something lighter.
Regulus had James now. His light. And if he had that, then it was only fair that Barty had his own.
They couldn’t walk in the darkness together forever.
Someday, it had to end.
Might as well be today.
“I want to be with James,” Regulus blurted out, the words tumbling from his lips before he could second-guess them. “I know you don’t like him, and yeah, he’s been an ass, but the heart wants what it wants. And I can’t wait again—I did that with you, and it nearly broke me. He’s here, now, and that has to count for something.”
Barty exhaled, running a hand through his hair. For a moment, he said nothing, just stared at Regulus like he was trying to solve a puzzle he hadn’t realized was missing pieces.
Finally, he nodded. “It does,” he admitted. His voice was quieter than usual, rough around the edges. “I might’ve been too bloody hard on him, but... he’s been relentless. And, well—” He gave Regulus a lopsided, almost self-deprecating smile. “He’ll sure as hell treat you better than I ever did.”
He hesitated, then added, “You deserve to be happy, Reg.”
“You do too,” Regulus said, his voice softer now. “You’ll be with him, yeah?”
Barty hesitated, then gave a small nod. “Yeah, I think I will.”
He swallowed hard, eyes flickering over Regulus like he was trying to commit every detail to memory. This was it. The end. No more. It should have terrified him, but oddly, it didn’t. It felt... right. A quiet kind of relief settling in his bones. Still, something inside him ached, and selfishly, he gave in to it.
“Wanna kiss me one last time?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. It wasn’t greed—it wasn’t even longing. Just nostalgia. If this was goodbye, he wanted it to feel like one.
Regulus didn’t hesitate. He pulled Barty in, their lips meeting in a kiss that tasted of lingering anger, of too many years wasted, of something that could have been but never quite was. Barty, for all his fury and recklessness, knew how to be soft, and Regulus let himself melt into it, just for a moment.
It was messy, but it was them. And then—it was done.
Barty exhaled, stepping back. “You’ll call me, yeah?”
Regulus nodded. “I will. I’ll tell you all about James, and you’ll tell me all about Evan.” His lips quirked in a small, sad smile. “I’ll love you forever.”
“Same here,” Barty said. And for the first time, it felt like a promise they could keep.
After Regulus left, Barty returned to his room, finding one Evan Rosier sitting at the edge of the bed, watching him with a mix of doubt and something else—something unreadable.
“Are you—”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Barty cut in, crashing his lips onto Evan’s before he could finish. “You’ve bloody messed with my head, and I’m not going anywhere.”
He kissed him again, deeper this time, as if trying to prove a point neither of them had the words for.
“I’m sorry,” Barty murmured between breaths. “For everything. But it’s done.” He pressed his forehead against Evan’s, exhaling shakily. “You’re the one I want.”
A small smile tugged at Evan’s lips before he grabbed Barty by the collar and pulled him down onto the mattress.