Chapter 2
The annoying part about knowingly going on a mission that put my life at risk was knowing that I had to make sure legal documents were up to date. I didn’t have any family that I knew of, but the closest thing that came to it was Yelena. She was in the same foster home as I was, and we clicked instantly. After I aged out of the system, she stayed in contact with me when no one else from the family did. Because of that, we were each other's only family. She almost had a breakdown when she signed all of the paperwork to become my power of attorney and the person to get everything of mine if I died. I didn’t blame her; it was a heavy topic, but while I was packing for this trip, the look on her face had become one of guilt. I felt bad that there was nothing I could do to lessen it for her. I tried not to say anything that would suggest that I was upset with her because that was the furthest from the truth. I was mostly scared that I wouldn’t get to come back to her and that she would carry that with her for the rest of her life. It wasn’t something I wanted for either of us. She insisted on coming with me to see me off, though I thought that it would just make things harder for both of us. But there was no way I could ever deny her that, not if it was something she wanted. We were driving to the hangar we would be leaving from, and I hated the anxious energy swirling around the car. I knew that we both had every right to be, but I didn’t want my possible final moments with her filled with anxiety.
“You know, Kate was telling me that she was looking for a room to rent,” I said gently.
“She did?” She asked, glancing at me with a frown.
“Yeah, her lease is ending soon,” I said with a nod.
“Why didn’t she tell me?” She asked with a frown.
“Probably because there’s weird tension between the two of you?” I said with a laugh.
“There’s no tension.” She said quickly.
“Right… Anyway, I’m just telling you because I offered her the guest room if she can’t find anything else and needs to go somewhere. I told her to talk to you if it comes to that, so you’ll be collecting her rent checks for me and making her a key if she needs to stay there.” I said with a sigh.
“Why would you do that?” She questioned.
“Just don’t have sex in my bed or on any furniture I can’t replace,” I said, ignoring her ignorance.
“Nat! What the fuck?!” She asked in shock.
“I mean it,” I said firmly.
“You’re ridiculous.” She said, shaking her head.
“I think it’s a more than reasonable request,” I said with a shrug.
“That’s not what I- You’re impossible.” She grumbled.
“You know, Kate agreed to this much faster,” I said with a hum.
“You actually said that to her?!” She asked in disbelief.
“Yes, because she didn’t deny the tension,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“She didn’t?” She asked quietly.
“Right, I’m the one who’s ridiculous,” I said with a snort.
“For the record, nothing you’ve just told me wasn’t ridiculous.” She mumbled.
“Whatever you say, Lena,” I said with a grin.
“Is it weird that I’m kind of excited?” She asked quietly.
“About Kate?” I asked, wondering if she was finally going to admit it.
“About today.” She said, rolling her eyes.
“To see me off on a suicide mission? Yeah, Lena, a little bit.” I said with a frown.
“Not for that, you’re coming home. But to meet this woman you’re going with.” She said, shaking her head.
“Who said it was a woman?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You did? The day you told me about this whole thing?” She said, rolling her eyes.
“Fine, who said you’re meeting her?” I asked with a groan.
“Why can’t I? I’m already going to be there!” She argued.
“Lena… Please.” I said with a sigh.
“Fine, but if she talks to me…” She warned me.
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t,” I promised.
The rest of the drive felt much more relaxed. I knew Kate was a touchy subject, but I needed to tell her about the fact that I’d offered her my guest room. I didn’t want to give her a jumpscare later if I could avoid it. We made it through the checkpoints, and I helped her navigate to where we needed to be. I had spent so much time focused on my possible last moments with her that I forgot about the very real fact that I would be stuck on a plane with Wanda for hours in a short amount of time. As much as I was aware that Wanda would be going with me, finding myself minutes from seeing her again made anxiety pool in my stomach. With a deep breath, I pulled my pack from the backseat and threw it over my shoulder as we made our way inside. We quietly moved through the building, grabbing ourselves something to drink before everything officially kicked off. We stood there, enjoying our drinks, and I couldn’t stop myself from looking over at Wanda. She was talking to Bruce, and she looked so carefree and happy. Yet when she so much as met me, she instantly disliked me. Not everyone needed to like me, but I figured that she would at least save disliking me for until she knew me a little bit. Granted, Bruce was an easy person to talk to, but something about the situation ate away at me.
“That’s who you’re going with?” She questioned with horror as her eyes followed my gaze.
“Lena,” I said with a warning tone.
“What? It’s just… Interesting.” She mumbled.
“Stop it,” I growled.
“I’m stopping.” She said quickly.
“Thank you,” I said with a sigh of relief.
“She’s pretty. You said she was a vet?” She asked, deciding to take a different approach to her line of questioning.
“As in the kind that takes care of animals, not a military veteran.” I clarified.
“She looks like one.” She said with a shrug.
“What does that even mean?” I asked with a deep frown.
“She seems kind.” She said, rolling her eyes.
“You’re watching her flirt with Bruce, what about that makes her seem nice?” I asked with a scoff.
“So you noticed that.” She said, seemingly to herself.
“Yeah, Lena. I noticed it as I was looking around the room.” I said with a huff.
“Try not to be too much of a cunt to her.” She said, lightly bumping my shoulder with hers.
“Me? You're the one who questioned if she was qualified.” I said, shaking my head.
“Not in so many words… But also, a question that you left unanswered, by the way.” She pointed out.
“And it’ll stay that way,” I said firmly.
“Why?” She pressed.
“Because it's not your question to ask, Lena,” I argued.
“Well, just don't be too bad, okay?” She asked with a sigh.
“Why are you suddenly so worried that I’m friendly with her?” I asked with a frown.
“I don't know. She's not exactly not your type…” She mumbled with a shrug.
“Oh, please, do tell me. What is my type, Lena?” I asked with a snort.
“Smart, hot, around your age, and apparently, cunty.” She said with a grin.
“You’re hilarious. I'll miss that humor when I die.” I said, rolling my eyes.
“That’s not funny.” She said firmly.
“Neither are you. Now, I have to go. Promise to stay out of trouble.” I tried as I saw Bruce motion toward the plane with his head.
“You know I can't do that.” She said with a weak smile.
“I’m really gonna miss you,” I said quietly.
“Stop. Remember what you promised me.” She said, shaking her head quickly.
“Yes, you get all of my money when I die,” I said with a nod.
“Natalia! That's not what I'm talking about and you know it.” She said, her eyes going wide with shock.
“Lena, I know what I promised. I will do everything I can to make it home to you. I will also do my best not to lose contact with you again.” I said with a tight smile.
“Just… Be careful.” She said, swallowing thickly.
“I always am. Promise you'll visit Bucky for me?” I asked, guilt settling in my stomach.
“Yeah, Nat. Of course. Are you going to try to get it?” She asked with a small frown.
“If we end up anywhere near it, yeah. I think he needs it.” I said with a nod.
“Try to keep each other safe, yeah? I mostly care about you, but I remember what it was like last time, and I don't want it to happen again.” She said softly.
“You know I will,” I said with a nod.
“I love you.” She mumbled.
“I love you, Lena,” I said, pulling her into a tight hug.
I hadn't realized how badly we both had needed the hug until we were in it. Her arms tightened around me, and I could feel her body shaking. I didn't have to see her face to know she was crying. The realness of the situation set in, and her guilt had seemed to bubble over. Our hug had felt like a possible goodbye, and her dam finally broke. I pulled away from her and gently cradled her face, forcing her to meet my eyes.
“This is not your fault. I'm going to come home, just like last time.” I said firmly.
“You have to come home.” She whispered, tears still welling in her eyes.
“I promise,” I said, pulling her in and pressing my forehead against hers.
We soaked in the moment together before I pulled away. I did my best not to look at the tears in her eyes once more, knowing that they would make me want to tell Tony he could fuck himself. But I knew that would only hurt Yelena, and I didn’t want her to be in prison just because I didn’t want to go to an island where I could die. Though if there was any argument about whether that was a good enough reason to pull out of a deal, I personally felt like it was the best time to. I made my way toward where Bruce was standing near the plane. I could tell he didn’t want to see me off on this mission any more than I wanted to go on it, so I tried to break the ice.
“Tony couldn't even be here to see us off?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow.
“You know why he's not here.” He said with a breathy laugh.
“Because he's scared of me,” I said easily.
“Exactly. So, he asked me to be here.” He said with a nod.
“You mean he told you to be here,” I said with a laugh.
“I got you the private plane, don't make me switch that to a helo.” He said, rolling his eyes.
“Fine, fine. I'm sorry!” I said, holding my hands up in surrender.
“Your sister going to be okay?” He asked, glancing at Yelena.
“She's strong. I just hope nothing happens like last time.” I said with a sigh.
“Would she want to stay at the lab?” He asked gently.
“What?” I asked with a frown.
“Tony told me that I could offer her a room at the lab, that way she has better access to you and communicating with you. Without the unapproved accessing of government systems. Would she be interested?” He asked.
“It wouldn't hurt to ask her. But can you wait until after we leave? I don't want her to feel forced.” I requested.
“Of course, Nat. You promise you'll be safe?” He asked with a sigh.
“I promise to do my best to keep the princess and myself safe,” I said with a nod.
“Try to get to know her instead of bullying and picking on her, maybe?” He asked, shaking his head with a grin.
“Best I can do is say I’ll try, but I’m not committing to it,” I said with a shrug.
“I’ll see you here when you get back.” He said with a wink.
“See you then,” I said with a nod, throwing my bag over my shoulder.
Wanda was already on the plane, and as I looked around, I didn’t see anyone who looked like they were waiting to see her off. Someone like Wanda seemed like they would have someone show up to see her off. There was no way that she was unlikable when Bruce spoke highly of her, and yet, she was alone. I did my best to shake the thought off and stole one final glance at Yelena before fully walking through the door. There weren’t a million seats on the plane, hardly even ten, but Wanda sat in the section that would ensure that I wouldn’t be able to avoid her. It was a curious decision on her part, especially as someone who had a predetermined hate for me. I sighed and threw my bag into the overhead compartment before picking a seat on the other side of the cabin. The attendant came by to make sure we were buckled in, and our bags were contained before we pulled out of the hangar and onto the runway. I took a deep breath as I prepared for the takeoff. It didn’t matter how many times I’d been on a plane; every time it took off, my anxiety got the better of me. Once we were in the air and leveled out, I opened my eyes to find Wanda watching me curiously. Her interest quickly disappeared when she saw that I was looking at her, and it confused me further as to why she was willing to look past her dislike for me when I wasn’t looking, but the second I was looking, she retracted it immediately.
“You could’ve kissed your girlfriend goodbye, you know? I’m not some homophobic monster.” She said flatly.
“My girlfriend?” I questioned, my eyebrows pinching together in confusion.
“The woman who brought you to the hangar. I know the risks of going to this island… I would just hate it if you passed up saying goodbye properly because you thought not everyone would be okay with it.” She said with a shrug.
“Okay, well, not that I needed it, but thank you for your permission to be gay. That, however, was my sister.” I said with a snort.
“Your… Sister?” She asked, clearly confused.
“Yes, the reason I’m on this plane in the first place,” I explained.
Her face twisted into a frown of confusion, and I almost wondered if Bruce had told her something to suggest that Yelena wasn’t my sister. I doubted that he did, but I also didn’t think that Wanda would be his type either, and I was wrong about that. She didn’t attempt any further conversation with me, something I was both annoyed by and thankful for. There were a few hours left for us to be in the air, and I pulled my headphones out and tried to forget where we were going. My eyes fluttered shut as my audiobook began where it last left off. It was easy to get completely lost in the world of the book, and before I knew it, the captain made an announcement that we would be landing shortly. We landed at the base, and I was forced out of my daydream and back into reality. My eyes opened slowly, and I saw Wanda looking out the window, taking in her new surroundings. When we got off the bed, we were immediately met by Colonel James Rhodes.
“Colonel,” I said with a smile.
“It’s been too long. Come here.” He said, opening his arms for a hug.
“I think you mean it’s been too long since you’ve been here. There’s still a world out there, you know?” I said with a grin as I wrapped my arms around him.
“I’m not fond of it. I like this world just fine.” He mumbled, giving me a final squeeze.
“This is Wanda Maximoff,” I said, introducing her to him.
“Wanda. I’m Colonel James Rhodes. I hear you’re quite the dino vet.” He said with an easy smile.
“I’m not sure what you’ve heard… Colonel, but I do my best. I just follow the science.” She said with a confused expression.
“Well, whatever you do, Tony speaks highly of you.” He said with a nod.
“Are they making you show us to our beds?” I joked, trying to break the strange tension.
“Oh, no. As much as I’m sure you would love that, that is still beneath me. But, a familiar face will be bringing you there.” He said before walking away.
It didn’t take long for his replacement to arrive, and I instantly knew why he’d assigned her. He assigned someone whom I’d known as a child, because I was close with her parents. I wanted to hit him, and I would, if it weren’t so sweet of him to set things up the way he did. She introduced herself to us and I could tell that something in her knew me, she just couldn’t figure out how. Adriana Soria was the daughter of my best friends, and she used to be like my niece. I saw her so regularly that we had a routine for when she came to my house. She easily walked us to where we were going to be staying, and I couldn’t help but wonder whose bunk we’d be going to first.
“Tony had us set up your bunks. We hope you enjoy your short stay. A chef will be in soon to take your order for dinner.” She said, opening the door for us.
“Since when is there a chef?” I mumbled in confusion.
“Nicer than I expected,” Wanda admitted, probably louder than she’d intended to.
“Yes, I hope that you’ll be happy here. Tony requested private quarters for each of you, but we were short on space after the new hangar he donated.” She admitted sheepishly.
“We’re bunking together?” I asked flatly.
“Yes, Colonel, I hope that’ll be okay.” She said nervously.
“It’ll be fine. Tony sent you the plans, correct?” I asked, wanting to move forward.
“Yes. Get the two of you settled today, tomorrow we do weapons training and first aid refreshers, and then the following day you’ll plan your exfil points based on areas on the island you plan on going. We’ve been testing the signal strength to make sure you’ll be able to communicate with the boat if you need anything immediate, or if anything needs to be recorded for any reason, they’ll be there.” She said, stumbling over her final sentence.
“Thank you, Soria,” I said easily.
She smiled, and I could tell she was slowly piecing together how she knew me. I nodded, it was exactly what I’d told Tony to say. Something I almost hadn’t expected, given the fact that he almost never took orders from other people. The only thing that had changed was the fact that we were bunking together. I couldn’t blame James for accepting a new hangar from Tony; getting the funding for one was next to impossible. Plus, after the already close plane ride, bunking together for a couple of days wouldn’t kill me. I was going to have to spend multiple days bunking with her while we were on the island. Adriana left the area, putting Wanda and me alone together once again. I didn’t know how to bridge a conversation with her, not one that didn’t make her instantly hate me. Not that the plane was me being much better, but most of that was because I was caught off guard by the assumption that my sister was my girlfriend. That opened things up for multiple conversations, like how and why she assumed I was gay. The chef came in and took our orders, and I had to ask multiple times if he was actually a chef hired to cook for us. In my defense, the last time I was at the base, Tony had no issue feeding us MREs and calling it a day, so a chef felt like something out of my wildest dreams. After he assured us that he was really a chef and that we could order almost anything we wanted, I went with mac and cheese with hot dogs in it, earning me an indiscernible smile from Wanda. She gave him her order, and I could feel her eyes lingering on me. I turned to face her, and she seemed to commit to breaking the silence.
“You’re kind of a big deal around here.” She commented.
“Just someone who is recognized for the work they’ve done, I’m no more important than the lowest-ranking person here,” I said with a shrug, as I began throwing my things into my trunk.
“You’re incredibly humble. They love you here, their respect for you is abundantly clear.” She said lightly.
“That's kind to say. They probably only look at me like that because I’m in a lot of the training videos they have to watch.” I said with a laugh.
“Well, you practically had her tripping over her own feet to say something you would approve of. So you must have done something right.” She said with a smile.
“Well, her, I know. She just hasn’t seen me since she was six.” I said, smiling at the memory.
“That’s sweet. Did you know her parents?” She asked curiously.
“Yeah, they were my best friends,” I said with a small nod.
“Well, I’m sure it’s nice to see that you’ve made an impact on her life.” She offered with gentle eyes, which I had never seen from her before.
“It does feel nice,” I admitted with a nod.
“Do you mind if I change into something a little more comfy and relaxing?” She asked quietly.
“No, this is your bunk too,” I said, shaking my head, realizing that our little moment had come to an end.
She shrugged and began changing. I quickly turned away, wanting to respect her privacy, but I desperately wanted to see what she wasn’t shy about. Yelena wasn’t wrong, Wanda was pretty, and she was my type, something that was a problem when it came to her changing in front of me while making no attempt to ask me not to look. She let me know when she was finished, laughing at how hesitantly I turned my head to look at her again. My eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets when they landed on her. It hadn't been entirely lost on me that Wanda was an attractive woman, but her attitude had lowered how attractive I found her. That was all but forgotten the second I saw her in the clothes she had deemed comfy and relaxing. There was no doubt that she was probably comfortable, but I also knew that an attractive woman wearing tight shorts that were also very short would lead to some possible unwanted attention on a military base. Even the way I was looking at her made me feel no better than a man. I argued with myself over whether I should say anything to her or not. I was going back and forth between not wanting her to know that I had noticed, and her deserving to know. I was able to hold off on saying something until she bent over to dig through her trunk.
“If you don’t change your shorts or throw some pants on, you’ll probably have the entire base getting off to you tonight,” I mumbled, shaking my head.
“Oh…” She said with a frown, turning to look at me.
“Unless you’re into that, of course,” I said quickly.
“Oh, I…” She said with a horrified expression.
“I’m so sorry. I don't… I’m sorry.” I said quickly.
“I've never…” She mumbled with a frown.
“Oh God. I’m so sorry. You can just ignore me.” I said, wanting to force my head through a brick wall.
“No! I mean, I have had sex! I have.” She said quickly.
“You don't have to lie, it's nothing to feel any sort of way about.” I tried.
“I’m almost thirty, Natasha, I’ve had sex. I just meant that the only orgasms I’ve ever had were because I made them happen, so it would seem that I’m not new to the idea of being the reason for an orgasm.” She rambled.
“You're almost thirty…” I said slowly.
“Yes?” She said with a frown.
“And the only orgasms you have ever had were because you caused them? No one has ever given you an orgasm before?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“Uh… Yeah…” She mumbled, looking embarrassed by her confession.
“And you told me this because?” I asked slowly.
“I… Just had the thought, and then my mouth moved faster than my brain could tell me to stop. But… At least now the secret won’t just die with me.” She said with a shrug.
“You couldn't share a cool secret?” I mumbled.
“You know, you could share a secret, too…” She said, shifting on her feet.
“No, I’m fine,” I said, shaking my head.
“Oh, come on.” She pushed.
“No, no. I would hate to embarrass myself.” I said without thinking.
“Oh.” She said with a nod before turning away.
I wanted to punch myself; I felt so stupid. It would have been bad enough if I’d stopped after the first unnecessary statement, but then I sealed the deal by making it completely awkward. I could feel how hot my face was, and I knew she could see it. It was not only embarrassing, it was annoying that she of all people, left me flustered. Someone I didn't even like had me tripping over my words. I desperately hated how attractive I found her, and seeing her in tight, little shorts did little to allow me to forget. She pulled a pair of sweatpants out of her trunk and put them on before getting into bed. Things were silent while we waited for our food to arrive, and I once again didn’t know how to break the silence. It felt unfair to want her to do it, but I was the one who had ruined the last conversation, and I didn’t want to ruin another one. After five minutes, she sighed like she knew she was going to have to be the one to start another conversation, and I waited for whatever conversation was coming.
“Earlier on the plane… You said that your sister was the only reason you were going to the island, and at the lab… Bruce said something about Tony calling in a favor… You don’t have to answer, but are those two things at all related?” She asked nervously.
“What are you trying to do right now? Bond with me so I’ll keep you alive?” I asked with a frown.
“No, I just… Figured that maybe we could get to know each other better. Might make this easier for both of us.” She mumbled with a shrug.
“I owed Tony a favor because the last time I went to the island, I lost contact with my sister. When that happened, she hacked into government systems to track and contact me. Tony traced her IP address and was able to bury it. In exchange, I owed him a favor. No questions asked, and I had to accept. He called it in for this.” I explained with a sigh.
“I’m sorry.” She said quietly.
“Why are you apologizing?” I asked in confusion.
“I think we can both admit that I have enough to apologize for. I was rude to you at the lab, and what’s worse, you’re being forced to be here. So, I’m sorry for making an already difficult thing even more difficult for you.” She explained.
“Thank you for apologizing,” I said with a nod.
“I’ve read about the mission. After you rightfully stormed off, Bruce showed me everything that they had on it to show me that your attitude wasn’t about me. Though I don’t believe him about that entirely, I could see how my behavior, in addition to rehashing trauma, could result in you leaving the way you did.” She continued.
“He let you read the file?” I asked, swallowing thickly.
“He gave me access to everything.” She admitted.
“Everything?” I asked, my voice cracking slightly.
“I’m so sorry he’s forcing you to go back.” She said honestly.
“It’s not your fault,” I said, shaking my head quickly.
Before she could say anything, our dinner arrived. We accepted the food and set it down at the table in the center. I didn’t know if our conversation, or one like it, would continue, but I couldn’t help but hope that it would. Bruce had been right, she was nice to talk to. And she even apologized for our first meeting when I never expected her to. That had to count for something, and with me, an apology went a long way. It took a lot to apologize and mean it, because it meant admitting that you’d done something wrong. Anyone who could admit they’d done something wrong deserved a second chance in my book. Our food was better than the regular military food, and it was a strange feeling to eat a good meal on a military base, but it wasn’t something I would ever decline. I could look forward to meals for the next three days before we were back to eating twigs and berries on a terror island. We finished our meal and put our food trays out to be collected before getting into bed. It had been a long day, and she was probably just as tired as I was. But I wasn’t done wanting to talk to her. We had such a good conversation before, and I craved more of it. I took a deep breath and decided to be the one to start the conversation this time.
“So, what else did you read in my file?” I asked, nervous about what was in it.
“Like, do I have questions?” She asked, trying to clarify.
“Yeah,” I said with a nod.
“You were really shot?” She asked with a frown.
“You read my file,” I said, nodding with a shrug.
“Bruce redacted most of that.” She mumbled.
“That was probably his attempt at preserving my image,” I said with a snort.
“No, he said it was HIPAA.” She grumbled, rolling her eyes.
“Right, well… Yes, I was really shot. I do not recommend it.” I said with a grimace.
“Was it hard?” She asked with curiosity.
“Being shot?” I asked in disbelief.
“Ranking up to where you are now. Does it still count if you’re not active?” She asked with a frown.
“I was in a male-dominated field. You can guess how easy it was. But yes, it still counts even though I’m not on active duty anymore.” I said with a laugh.
“Yeah… That… Doesn’t sound easy.” She admitted with a nod.
“Imagine the worst things someone can experience, and I’ve probably seen it,” I said with a nod.
“Gross.” She mumbled with a grimace.
“What about you?” I asked, deciding to make an effort.
“What about me?” She asked with a frown of confusion.
“How did you start working with the Army and with Tony?” I clarified for her.
“Oh. I guess I have my brother to blame for that. He applied for the Stark internship for me because he knew I wouldn't, and I was selected.” She explained, shaking her head with a fond smile.
“You guys are close, then? How's he feel about our suicide mission?” I asked, narrowing my eyes in curiosity.
“Well, we’re twins, so close is…” She said with a small grin.
“An understatement?” I asked in surprise.
“Slightly.” She agreed with a nod.
“And? What does he think about us going to the island?” I asked again.
“He would probably have plenty to say if he knew,” She said with a shrug.
“What do you mean he doesn't know?” I asked with a frown.
“Did you see him here to drop me off?” She questioned, shrugging off the question.
“No… But Wanda… You can't just shrug this off. You read the case notes from last time. There is a very real chance that the only way you leave the island is in pieces or worse… Not at all.” I argued.
“Drop it.” She said firmly.
“I don't get why you wouldn't tell him,” I said, shaking my head.
“Look, some of us want to protect the people we love. Not everyone forces their sister to go to the drop-off of a possible suicide mission, just to make sure she feels guilty about being the reason they had to go on it in the first place.” She bit back.
Before I could have a chance to respond, she shut the light near her bed off. I was angry enough to hear my heartbeat as it pulsed in my ears. Not only was her assumption wrong, but it was horribly insulting. To suggest that I would do that to Yelena when she didn't know me well enough to throw around accusations of that caliber was a slap to the face. I could tell that any bonding progress that we'd made had not only come to an abrupt end; it was also erased completely. Sensing that she was committed to sleeping, or at least pretending to sleep, I slid out of bed, grabbed a hoodie, and left. There was no way I could sleep without clearing my head, and the only way to do that was to put distance between us. I didn’t know exactly where I was going, but I would worry about that if I got lost; until then, I was just going where my feet decided to take me.