Mary MacDonald pushed open the door of the girls’ dormitory with more force than necessary, her face darkened by a cloud of frustration. The door creaked loudly on its hinges as she stormed inside, her boots thudding against the stone floor. She didn’t even glance at her roommates as she marched to her bed and threw herself down with a dramatic huff. A pillow muffled her angry groan as she buried her face into it.
Across the room, Dorcas Meadowes sat on the floor, her back against her bedpost, threading a ribbon through her long, dark hair. She raised her brows, glancing up from the task, intrigued by the furious energy radiating off Mary.
“What’s got you in a twist?” Dorcas asked, her tone light, though her eyes were sharp with curiosity.
Mary pushed herself up on her elbows, her curls bouncing as she pulled the pillow off her face. “Remus Lupin,” she said, her voice half a groan, half a sigh. “That’s what.”
Lily Evans, sitting by the vanity, had been watching the exchange in the mirror as she brushed through her hair, the auburn strands gleaming in the lamplight. She turned slightly in her chair, intrigued. “Remus? That’s odd. He’s usually... well, thoughtful. What happened?”
Mary threw herself back down on the bed, covering her eyes with the crook of her arm. “He was thoughtful,” she admitted, voice begrudgingly soft. “More than thoughtful, actually.”
Dorcas and Lily exchanged glances, clearly not expecting that response. “Thoughtful... but you’re mad?” Dorcas asked, raising a brow.
Sighing, Mary sat up again, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. “He planned a picnic,” she began, her voice softening as the memory of the earlier part of the night surfaced. “Down by the lake. The stars were out, the air was crisp but not too cold. He brought blankets—charmed, of course—so we wouldn’t freeze.”
Dorcas leaned forward, now fully invested. “Go on…”
Mary’s expression softened, her anger melting into a wistful smile. “He even brought éclairs. The ones from Honeydukes, you know, with the perfect amount of chocolate and cream. They’re my favorite.”
Lily let out a soft hum, her lips curving into a smile. “Sounds lovely.”
“And it was!” Mary said, her voice tinged with the faintest bit of disbelief. “We held hands, the stars were beautiful, and for a moment... it was like we were the only two people in the world.”
Dorcas sighed, her fingers pausing in their work with the ribbon. “That sounds like a perfect night. What went wrong?”
Mary’s face darkened again, the softness disappearing as she clenched her fists in her lap. She inhaled deeply, as though steeling herself to relive the moment.
“It was perfect,” she said through gritted teeth, her voice rising. “Until Sirius Black showed up.”
Dorcas snorted, unable to help herself. “Of course he did.”
Lily groaned, already sensing where the story was headed. “What did he do this time?”
Mary threw her arms up, exasperated. “What didn’t he do? He just... appeared! Out of nowhere! One moment, it was just Remus and me under the stars, and the next moment—there he was, grinning like an idiot, asking if there were any éclairs left.”
The room erupted in laughter as Dorcas leaned back against her bed, shaking her head. "Sounds like Sirius.”
Mary narrowed her eyes, her expression sour. “It was supposed to be a date, not a Marauders' reunion! But of course, he plopped himself down between us like he belonged there.”
“And Remus just let him?” Lily asked, half-amused, half-sympathetic.
Mary flopped back down onto her bed. “Of course he did. Remus is too nice for his own good.”
Dorcas chuckled, shaking her head. “Well, that’s Sirius for you—third-wheeling since birth.”
Mary let out a frustrated groan, pulling the pillow back over her face for a moment before ripping it away and sitting up with renewed vigor. “You think that’s bad? You don’t know the half of it!” she exclaimed, eyes wide with disbelief. “This isn’t the first time Sirius has crashed one of our dates. I swear, the man has a radar for whenever Remus and I are about to have a nice moment.”
Lily leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms with a small smirk. “Alright, let’s hear it then. What else has Sirius done to ruin your romantic outings?”
Mary didn’t need any more prompting. She drew in a breath and launched into her tale. “Alright, so there was this other time—Remus took me to the Astronomy Tower. The view was breathtaking, just stars everywhere. It was the perfect spot for a date, quiet, secluded... we were sitting there, and Remus, being Remus, starts pointing out all the constellations, sharing the stories behind them.” Her voice softened slightly, her fondness for Remus slipping through despite her frustration. “It was kind of adorable, really.”
Dorcas sighed wistfully, already charmed by the mental image. “That sounds like Remus.”
“Right?” Mary said, gesturing animatedly. “So, I’m sitting there, all ready to make a move, leaning in for a kiss—you know, trying to get something more than astronomy facts—and suddenly, there’s Sirius! He literally barges in, out of breath, asking if we’d seen his broomstick.”
Lily snorted. “His broomstick? Really?”
“Yep. Remus jumped up like it was the best interruption ever,” Mary said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “He immediately turned his attention to Sirius. And I just sat there, completely forgotten, while they talked about Merlin knows what. Quidditch strategies, probably. I didn’t even get to finish leaning in!”
Dorcas winced, trying to hide her amusement. “That’s rough.”
“Oh, it gets worse,” Mary said, her frustration rising again. “There was this time—another picnic—Remus really likes picnics, apparently. Anyway, it was beautiful, right by the Black Lake. The weather was perfect, and we were sitting under this huge oak tree. He had all my favorite snacks. I was thinking, finally, some alone time without any interruptions.”
“And?” Lily asked, though she could already tell where the story was headed.
Mary’s face twisted into a grimace. “And then, of course, Sirius shows up. This time, he’s flying on James’s broom, doing loops right above us! Before I know it, he comes crashing down, knocking over half the food, and what does Remus do? He laughs. Laughs, like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen. And then Sirius, being Sirius, just plops down right between us and starts eating what’s left out. I might as well not have even been there.”
Lily shook her head, a sympathetic smile on her face. “Remus didn’t say anything?”
Mary flopped back onto her bed, staring at the ceiling. “Nope. He was just so happy to see Sirius. It’s like, no matter how perfect the date is, the minute Sirius shows up, Remus’s attention is completely on him. I could disappear, and he probably wouldn’t even notice.”
Dorcas chuckled softly. “So, what you’re saying is... you’re basically dating both of them?”
Mary groaned loudly, throwing her arm over her face. “Don’t even joke about that. It already feels like I am. Every time I think I’m finally going to have a moment alone with Remus, Sirius barges in and steals the spotlight. Remus can’t help himself. He just adores that guy.”
Lily exchanged a knowing look with Dorcas, both of them trying not to laugh. “Well, that’s Sirius for you,” Dorcas said, shaking her head.
Mary let out a long, dramatic sigh. “At this point, I think I’m better off just scheduling dates with both of them.”
A couple of days passed since Mary’s frustrated outburst in the dormitory, and the castle’s quiet hum of routine had returned. In the Gryffindor boys’ tower, Sirius Black sauntered into the room with his usual swagger, his tie half undone and shirt untucked, as if the rules of neatness didn’t apply to him. He tossed his bag onto his bed and leaned against the doorframe, his dark hair falling into his eyes. There was a glint of mischief in his smirk.
James Potter, seated on the floor with a stack of parchment and a few open textbooks scattered around him, glanced up. “You look like you’ve just come from causing trouble,” he said with a grin.
Sirius grinned back but didn’t respond immediately, letting the silence between them stretch before plopping onto his own bed with a sigh. For a moment, they sat in easy silence, the kind that comes from years of friendship, before Sirius casually asked, “Where’s Remus, anyway?”
James, not looking up from whatever essay he was scribbling on, shrugged. “Dunno. Probably off with Mary somewhere.”
At the mention of Mary, Sirius’s carefree expression faltered, just for a split second—a tiny twitch in his jaw that James caught. He raised an eyebrow. “What’s with the face?”
Sirius blinked, composing himself quickly. “Nothing,” he said, his tone casual, but even James wasn’t buying it.
“Uh-huh,” James responded, setting his quill down and crossing his arms, clearly not about to let it go. “Come on, what is it?”
Sirius stood abruptly, his posture shifting as if trying to shake off some invisible weight. “I... I just remembered something. I need to find Remus.”
James raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth lifting in amusement. “Right. Of course, you do.”
But Sirius didn’t stay to elaborate. He was already halfway out the door, his heart suddenly thudding louder than usual. He couldn’t quite place the feeling that was gnawing at him, the restlessness that wouldn’t leave him alone.
He found himself striding through the castle, his thoughts clouded and tangled. The more he tried to push it aside, the more it lingered, building into something he couldn’t ignore. Remus with Mary. The image flashed in his mind, and without even realizing it, his pace quickened as he combed through the usual spots—classrooms, corridors, even the grounds—but no sign of Remus.
By the time he reached the library, his pulse was racing. As he rounded the corner near the back, he spotted him—there, sitting by one of the long wooden tables, quietly talking to Lily Evans. Remus looked relaxed, his head bent close to hers as they discussed whatever it was they were discussing. The knot in Sirius’s stomach tightened, and before he could think better of it, he strode over.
“Sirius!” Remus greeted him with a warm smile as he felt an arm sling over his shoulders. Sirius, who usually found a witty quip in any situation, was oddly quiet for a moment, looking between Remus and Lily as if calculating something.
“Evans,” he finally said, flashing her a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Stealing my mate, are you?”
Lily raised an eyebrow, amused but unbothered by his sudden interruption. “You seem to be doing plenty of that yourself, Black,” she retorted, her voice teasing but pointed.
Remus chuckled, oblivious to the strange tension. “We’re just going over some Transfiguration stuff. I wasn’t expecting you here.”
“Well, here I am,” Sirius said, leaning more heavily into Remus as if to solidify his place.
Lily watched the two for a moment, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “How many hours do you two spend together in a day?” she asked dryly, half-joking but fully curious.
Sirius opened his mouth to reply with something sharp, but for once, the words didn’t come so easily.
Sirius lingered by the table, casting long shadows over Remus and Lily’s notes as he absentmindedly drummed his fingers on the wood. Every so often, he’d make a comment that had little to do with Transfiguration, steering the conversation off course. Lily shot him a glance, half-amused, half-annoyed, but said nothing. Remus, on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind. Every time Sirius distracted them, Remus would laugh, and they’d end up off-topic, chatting about something completely unrelated.
Lily, however, could tell Sirius was being particularly disruptive tonight, and as time dragged on, she found it harder to focus with him around. After yet another tangent about Quidditch, she finally huffed, “Are you two ever going to let me get through these notes?”
Sirius grinned, completely unbothered. “We’re helping, aren’t we?”
Remus chuckled, but after a while, even he seemed to grow tired of the lack of productivity. “I think I’m going to head to bed,” he said, rubbing his eyes. He began to gather his things, casting a glance at Sirius, who, unsurprisingly, made no move to stay behind and let him go alone.
“Guess I’ll head up with you,” Sirius said casually, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Lily raised an eyebrow, watching them both stand. “You’re leaving together?” she asked, trying to keep her voice neutral but failing to hide her curiosity.
Sirius shrugged nonchalantly, but Remus offered Lily an apologetic smile. “Yeah, I’m beat.”
Lily watched as the two of them left the library together, side by side. The door swung shut behind them, leaving her alone with her scattered parchment and a growing suspicion. Something about the way Sirius had hovered around Remus all evening seemed off. She could never quite place it before, but now, as she replayed the interactions in her head, she felt like she was missing something important.
With a soft sigh, she packed up her books and headed back to the girls’ dormitory, her thoughts still turning over the strange energy between Remus and Sirius. When she entered the room, she found Mary lying on her bed, flipping through a magazine but not really paying attention.
Lily tossed her bag onto her bed and glanced at Mary. “Saw Remus today,” she said casually as she kicked off her shoes. “Guess who was with him?”
Mary barely lifted her eyes from the magazine, already knowing the answer. “Let me guess… Sirius?” she replied, rolling her eyes dramatically as she closed the magazine with a snap.
Lily nodded, sitting down at her vanity. “Yep. Right by his side. Like always.”
Mary groaned, tossing the magazine aside and sitting up. “I’m so *done* with Sirius Black. Honestly, he’s like this human barrier between me and Remus. Every time I think we’re going to have some time alone, there he is, barging in and taking up all of Remus’s attention.”
Lily chuckled, though she could see the genuine frustration in Mary’s expression. “Sounds like he’s more into spending time with Sirius than with you.”
Mary scoffed, leaning back against the headboard. “It sure feels that way.” She let out an exasperated sigh, her frustration evident. “Remus is the one I want, not Sirius. I didn’t sign up for dating both of them, and I *definitely* didn’t ask to spend all my dates competing with Black.”
Lily raised an eyebrow. “Well, you did say Remus was sweet.”
Mary let out a bitter laugh. “Oh, he’s more than sweet, but you know what? I’m tired of being interrupted. Remus is the only one I want to… you know.” She made a gesture bringing her closed hand to her mouth making her meaning clear
Lily blinked in surprise at Mary’s bluntness, but she couldn’t help but laugh at the frustration. “Well, good luck getting a moment alone with him then. Seems like Sirius is glued to his side.”
Mary groaned again, flopping back onto her bed, eyes rolling. “Don’t remind me.”
On the other side of the Gryffindor Tower Remus and Sirius made their way to the boys’ dormitory. The familiar scent of parchment and broomstick polish filled the room as they pushed open the door to find James and Peter already engrossed in a game of Exploding Snap, small sparks flying between them as the cards occasionally erupted.
James looked up from his hand, smirking as he saw them. “About time! We were starting to wonder if you’d snuck off somewhere forbidden.”
Remus rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he glanced at the pile of books on James’s bed. “You two should be working on that Transfiguration essay, you know. It’s due tomorrow.”
Peter shrugged, grinning sheepishly. “We thought we’d just… you know, copy from you later.”
Remus’s eyes narrowed, and he let out a sigh, clearly unimpressed. “Copying, really? If you put half the effort into studying that you put into these games, you’d actually do quite well on your own.”
James waved his hand dismissively, not looking the least bit remorseful. “Oh, Moony, save the lecture. We can’t all be Transfiguration prodigies. Anyway, where were you two off to?”
“I was studying with Lily,” Remus replied, pulling off his scarf and tossing it onto his bed.
James’s smirk vanished in an instant, replaced by that familiar, dreamy look that overtook his face whenever Lily Evans was mentioned. “Lily…” he murmured, his eyes drifting off as though he could see her right there in the room. “Smart, beautiful Lily. You know, I helped her in Potions today. She actually thanked me. Her voice… just, perfect.”
Peter snickered, nudging him. “You’re completely hopeless, you know that?”
“Hopelessly in love,” James replied with a sigh, unabashed.
Sirius groaned, rolling his eyes as he plopped onto his bed. “Prongs, one of these days, you’re going to have to actually talk to her instead of just staring.”
“I do talk to her!” James said defensively, though he was still wearing that dazed expression. “She just… doesn’t exactly see me the way I see her yet. But she will. I know it.”
Remus chuckled softly, though he couldn’t resist giving James a sympathetic look. “You’re nothing if not persistent.”
“That’s right,” James replied, looking almost proud. “Persistence is key, Moony. Isn’t that what you always say?”
Remus shook his head, still amused. “Not quite how I say it, but close enough.”
After a bit more banter, James tossed a card from the deck toward Remus. “Enough about my love life. Are you two going to join us, or are we just playing for ourselves here?”
Sirius grinned, leaning forward to join the circle on the floor.
They started playing, laughter filling the dormitory as they taunted each other over near misses and misfires. Sirius tried to focus on the game, but he found his attention drifting again and again toward Remus, watching the way he tilted his head thoughtfully when considering a play, or the small, self-satisfied smile that spread across his face whenever he managed to make one of the cards explode at just the right moment to throw James off his rhythm.
He wasn’t sure when he’d started noticing these things, but there was a warmth in his chest that had become harder to ignore. It was there whenever Remus laughed, whenever their shoulders brushed as they leaned in to examine a play, whenever Remus looked up at him with that gentle, unassuming smile. Sirius tried to shake it off, but each glance, each accidental brush of hands, seemed to make it harder to ignore.
And he caught himself, too many times, just watching Remus.
The following morning, the common room was abuzz with excitement as word spread about the upcoming Hogsmeade visit. A colorful announcement had been posted on the noticeboard, detailing the date and rules for the trip, and students crowded around it, chattering eagerly about their plans. The excitement in the air was infectious, filling the room with laughter and energy.
Remus stood near the announcement, his hands in his pockets, looking mildly interested but calm as always. Mary MacDonald slipped through the crowd, a bright smile on her face as she approached him. She nudged his shoulder playfully and leaned in.
“Remus, you’ll come to Hogsmeade with me, right?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.
He offered her a gentle, polite smile, nodding. “Sure, Mary. I’d like that.”
Mary tilted her head, narrowing her eyes as she studied his expression. “You don’t seem all that excited,” she teased, raising a brow. Leaning a bit closer, she added with a suggestive smirk, “Maybe we could find somewhere quiet this time… you know… to explore each other a bit more.”
Remus gave a faint chuckle, looking slightly embarrassed as he glanced away, but he didn’t protest. Sirius, who had been watching the couple from a short distance, felt an unfamiliar tightness in his stomach, a knot that seemed to twist with every word he overheard. He tried to ignore it, leaning casually against the wall, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting back to Remus and Mary, catching each shy smile, each light touch on Remus’s arm.
Just then, Peter bounded up beside Sirius, his face alight with excitement. “Isn’t this great?” he said, nudging Sirius. “I’ve been saving up for Honeydukes and Zonko’s! I’m going to get enough sweets to last me the month.”
Sirius forced a grin, trying to shake off the heavy feeling weighing him down. “Yeah, sounds brilliant, Pete,” he replied, though his voice lacked its usual enthusiasm.
Peter, oblivious, kept going, rattling off his plans for the trip, from stocking up on sweets to finding the latest prank gadgets. Sirius nodded along, making the occasional murmur of agreement, but his mind was somewhere else entirely. He could still see Remus and Mary through the crowd, her hand lingering on his arm, her laugh ringing through the room.
The knot in his stomach tightened, but he kept smiling, letting Peter chatter on as if he hadn’t a care in the world.
The truth was that the simple thought of Mary getting to know Remus better, seeing sides of him that Sirius felt should only be his to know, made Sirius’s palms sweat and his chest tighten uncomfortably.
The entire week leading up to the Hogsmeade trip, Sirius made a deliberate effort to stick close to Remus. He would even feign interest in Arithmancy, nodding along as Remus went on about equations and theories. Sirius found himself genuinely enjoying watching Remus’s face light up as he explained things, the way his brow furrowed when Sirius asked him questions.
“Didn’t know you liked Arithmancy, Sirius,” Remus had said one afternoon, a slight smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
“Oh, well,” Sirius replied with a shrug, forcing himself to look casual. “I thought I’d give it a chance—seeing as you’re always talking about it.”
Remus laughed, a soft, warm sound that made Sirius’s chest tighten. “Didn’t think you’d come around so easily. Should’ve convinced you ages ago.”
The week flew by, and before he knew it, Saturday morning arrived, cold and crisp, with snow blanketing the castle grounds. As they headed out, Remus pulled on one of his favorite jumpers, a worn, woolen one that made him look softer somehow. The Marauders left for the village together, talking and laughing as they made their way through the snow-dusted path.
Remus and Sirius fell naturally into step beside each other, shoulders bumping as they shared jokes and caught up with each other’s week. Sirius had just finished a story about an ill-fated prank on Filch when they saw a familiar group of girls coming toward them.
Mary MacDonald waved, flashing Remus a warm smile as she approached, flanked by Lily, Dorcas, and another girl from their year. “Remus!” she called, slipping into step beside him without hesitation.
“Oh, hey, Mary,” Remus greeted her with a friendly smile. “I thought we were gonna meet each other at the Three Broomsticks”
Mary grinned, nudging his shoulder playfully. “Yeah, we did plan that, didn’t we? Well I thought we could just go together.”
Sirius felt his stomach twist as Mary subtly shifted closer to Remus, slipping her arm through his. He tried to hide his frustration, but the tightness in his jaw betrayed him as he found himself shunted back to walk beside Dorcas.
Remus, not noticing the change, simply nodded at Mary. “Yeah, it’ll be nice.”
Mary squeezed his hand, smiling up at him. “Exactly what I thought.” She glanced back at Sirius with a polite nod, though her smile was unmistakably triumphant.
Sirius forced a grin, trying to look unbothered as he muttered under his breath, “Great. I love being left out.”
Dorcas raised an eyebrow, her lips curving into a small, knowing smile. “Not a fan of walking in the back, Black?”
Sirius scoffed, glancing at her but avoiding her gaze. “Not when there’s a better view up front,” he muttered, watching Mary’s hand in Remus’s with a tight-lipped expression.
Dorcas chuckled, her tone light but perceptive. “You don’t fool me, you know.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, pretending not to hear her, but his gaze stayed fixed on Remus and Mary, who walked ahead, chatting and laughing. Mary’s hand stayed firmly in Remus’s, and Sirius couldn’t ignore the knot tightening in his stomach with each step they took together.
James, meanwhile, had fallen into step beside Lily, his usual banter softened by the bright smile on his face. “So, Lily, where should we go first? Honeydukes? Zonko’s?” he asked, his eyes warm with excitement.
Lily laughed, shrugging. “Anywhere, as long as you’re not causing trouble.”
“Oh, no trouble,” James replied, though his grin suggested otherwise.
But Sirius barely heard their exchange. His gaze stayed on Remus and Mary, watching as Mary leaned closer to Remus, laughing softly.
As James and Lily parted ways Remus, Sirius, Peter, and the girls headed to the Three Broomsticks first, warming up over mugs of butterbeer. The tavern was packed, the hum of laughter and conversation creating a lively buzz around them.
Remus glanced over at Sirius as they settled at a table, noticing his friend’s unusually quiet demeanor. Sirius usually filled any room with his energy, his jokes drawing laughs from everyone nearby, but today, he seemed distant, stirring his butterbeer with a vague, absent expression.
“Alright there, Sirius?” Remus asked, nudging him slightly.
Sirius blinked, glancing up with a forced smile. “Oh, yeah. Just... taking in the sights,” he replied, though his tone lacked its usual cheer. He attempted to muster up his typical grin, but Remus didn’t miss the flicker of something else in his friend’s eyes.
Mary, seated on Remus’s other side, took his hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s so nice to just relax here, isn’t it?” she said softly, gazing up at him with a fondness that made Sirius’s chest tighten uncomfortably.
“Yeah, it is,” Remus replied, a polite smile on his face. Mary’s attention to him grew more obvious as the day went on; she leaned into him, rested her hand on his arm as they chatted, and laughed a bit too enthusiastically at his jokes. Her gestures were unmistakably affectionate, almost as if they were an old couple, and each one felt like a quiet jab to Sirius’s already-wounded pride.
As they moved on through the village, Mary continued to act as though she and Remus were inseparable, pulling him aside to point out shop displays and talking about future plans. “Oh, wouldn’t it be fun to come here again, just the two of us?” she murmured, throwing a quick glance back at Sirius, her smile almost teasing.
“Maybe,” Remus said, his voice gentle but cautious. Sirius caught the exchange, his fingers tightening around the strap of his bag as he pretended not to hear, though every word echoed painfully in his head.
Peter, ever oblivious, trotted up to Sirius, nudging him as they reached Honeydukes. “Look, they’ve got new sweets in! And I heard Zonko’s has the latest dungbombs—want to go check?”
“Yeah, sure,” Sirius mumbled, his gaze flicking between Remus and Mary, who were laughing together as they wandered into the shop.
The other Gryffindor girl, noticing Sirius’s distracted look, grinned and nudged Dorcas, it was time for the girls to put their plan into action. Dorcas jumped in, pulling Sirius into a conversation about their favorite Hogsmeade haunts. They kept him chatting, but his attention was half elsewhere, nodding along to their stories while glancing back at Remus and Mary every chance he got.
But when he finally broke from the conversation and looked back, Remus and Mary were nowhere to be seen. Panic flared briefly, his heart thudding painfully in his chest as he scanned the crowd. A flash of Mary’s playful smirk from earlier came to mind, her suggestive tone as she’d hinted at the two of them finding somewhere alone to get to know each other better.
A surge of heat crept up the back of his neck, his pulse racing as he thought of what they might be doing alone. The memory of her words made him shift uneasily, the knot of unease twisting tighter in his stomach.
As soon as Mary noticed that Sirius had been pulled into a conversation with the others, she sized her moment. Grabbing Remus’ hand, she flashed him a quick smile. “ C'mon, there is somewhere I wanted to show you.” She said, her tone filled with a playful urgency. Without waiting for him to respond, she led him down a winding alley that branched off from the main path, away from the bustling crowds.
They ended up in a small, secluded courtyard hidden by a row of buildings, where the snow-covered ground sparkled in the faint sunlight. The silence there felt almost surreal compared to the lively village streets. Before Remus could even ask what she wanted to show him, Mary turned pulling him closer as she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in kissing him deeply.
At first, he tried to respond, his hands resting hesitantly on her shoulders. But Mary didn't pause to check his reaction, she only deepened her kiss pressing against him with an intensity that caught him off guard. Her hands roamed over his back and moved to his chest, gripping the fabric of his jumper as if she couldn't get close enough. Her eagerness was palpable, her kisses heated and hurried, she was pressing herself against his crotch and it made Remus feel... uncomfortable.
As her hands slid over his body, something felt off. He found himself stiffening under her touch, his own hands remaining still on her shoulders. Part of him knew this was supposed to be every guy's dream-a beautiful girl, eager and wanting practically begging him to get laid. But as she pressed closer, he realized that instead of excitement, he felt confusion.
Gently, he broke the kiss, pulling back with a nervous laugh that didn't quite meet his eyes. "Uh.. Mary, I…”
She looked at him, her face flushed and her breathing heavy. "What is it?" she asked, her voice low, almost a whisper. Remus hesitated, his mind a tangled mess of uncertainty he couldn't begin to sort out. How could he explain what he didn't understand himself? Why did he feel so distant in a moment that should've been so exciting? After a beat, he mumbled, " just... maybe we should get back. Sirius and the others are probably looking for us.”
The change in Mary's expression was immediate, her eyes narrowing as she let go of his jumper and took a step back. "Sirius," she echoed, her voice laced with frustration. "Of course. It's always Sirius, isn't it?"
Remus frowned, his discomfort growing. "What do you mean?"
Mary scoffed, crossing her arms. “I mean, it's always you, me, and Sirius. Every time we're together, he shows up, and suddenly you're more interested in whatever he has to say than in me.”
"That's not true," Remus defended, genuinely confused. "Sirius is... he's my friend. I don't understand why you don't like him"
Mary threw her hands up, exasperated. "It's not thatI don't like him, Remus! I think he's great, even, but... it's just... I don't want to date Sirius too!" She took a deep breath, her eyes flashing as she added, "It's only you that I want to fellate."
Remus opened his mouth to reply, but Mary interrupted, frustration spilling over. "Are you.. are you gay for Sirius or something? Because if that's it, that's fine! Just let me know so I can decide if I should even shave."
Remus's face flushed, a mix of shock and anger coloring his expression. "Mary," he said, his voice tight, "that's enough."
Mary glared at him, her frustration giving way to silence. Remus shook his head, his thoughts too tangled, his heart too unsettled. Without another word, he turned and walked back toward the bustling main street, leaving her standing alone in the snow.
As Remus stormed back toward Hogsmeade, his heart raced with anger and confusion, thoughts circling in his mind like a chaotic storm. He felt furious not only at Mary for her sudden forwardness but also at himself for not understanding what was happening to him. Each step felt heavier, the chill in the air biting at his cheeks, but he hardly noticed.
When he reached the main street, he spotted the group outside Honeydukes, their laughter and chatter contrasting sharply with his mood. He caught sight of Sirius standing nearby, his expression animated as he spoke with Dorcas. Remus’s anger flared again, but it wasn’t just directed at Mary anymore; it was at the situation, at Sirius for being so effortlessly charming while he felt like a mess inside.
Sirius turned as Remus approached, his brow furrowing with concern. “Hey, I was looking for you! What happened back there?” he asked, his voice laced with caution.
“I just want to go back to the castle,” Remus replied sharply, his tone clipped. He could feel the tension rising as he fought to keep his emotions in check.
Dorcas, glanced over, her expression turning inquisitive. “Where’s Mary? Didn’t you two go off together?”
Remus didn’t even look at the girl's direction, his jaw tightening at the mere mention of Mary's name. “I need to get back to the castle,” he reiterated, feeling the weight of their gazes.
James, overhearing the exchange, turned to Lily with a beaming smile. “Looks like everyone is having a good time! I didn’t want this day to end,” he said, excitement dancing in his eyes as he watched the redhead girl that was smiling at him.
Sirius caught James's gaze and shrugged slightly. “It’s okay; you guys can stay. I’ll go back with Remus,” he said, his voice firm. There was a note of determination in his tone, and Remus felt a mix of gratitude and annoyance at the same time.
“No, it’s fine,” Remus insisted, shaking his head. “You should stay. Have fun with the others.”
Sirius narrowed his eyes, the concern evident on his face. “I’m not leaving you to sulk back alone. If you want to go, fine, but I’m coming with you.”
Remus opened his mouth to protest, but he saw the determination in Sirius’s eyes. He didn’t want to be alone right now, but the thought of staying felt equally suffocating. The clash of emotions only left him more frustrated, and as he turned to walk away, he could hear the distant sounds of laughter behind him, each peal ringing in his ears like a reminder of what he was trying to escape.
As Remus hurried down the path back to the castle, he could hear Sirius’s footsteps pounding behind him. “Remus! Wait up!” Sirius called, his voice laced with urgency, but Remus pressed on, ignoring him, his mind a chaotic swirl of thoughts.
What was wrong with him? He felt like a mess, torn between frustration and confusion. Mary’s words echoed in his mind, mixed with the lingering sensation of her hands on him. Every time he thought he had a grip on his feelings, they slipped away like sand through his fingers. Why was he so unsettled? Every boy’s dream was to have a girl so eager to be with him, yet all he felt was turmoil.
“Remus, what happened?” Sirius tried again, the worry evident in his voice as he quickened his pace to keep up. “You look... off.”
The question made Remus’s heart race faster, and his thoughts spiraled further. How could he explain the mess in his mind? His frustration wasn’t just about Mary; it was about Sirius too, about how easy it was for him to slip into moments of affection with others while Remus felt trapped in uncertainty.
Sirius called out one more time, “Remus!”
Finally, with a deep breath, Remus turned around, anger flashing in his eyes. “What do you want, Sirius?” he snapped, the tension spilling over. He felt the weight of everything pressing down on him, the frustration bubbling to the surface.
Without warning, Sirius closed the distance between them and pulled Remus into a hug. It was a move that surprised them both, but the warmth of Sirius’s embrace enveloped him, and Remus froze momentarily.
Sirius’s voice was soft, almost soothing. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you don’t have to go through it alone. I’m here.”
Remus stood stiffly for a moment, unsure of how to respond to the unexpected comfort. The hug felt good, but it also confused him even more. Here he was, feeling frustrated and angry, yet with Sirius holding him like this, everything felt complicated.
He pushed himself away, trying to regain his composure. “I just... I need some space, alright?” he said, frustration spilling over again.
Sirius frowned, concern etched on his face. “You can’t just run away from this. Talk to me.”
Remus looked at him, uncertainty clouding his mind. All he wanted was to sort through his thoughts, but he knew he needed to confront them—and confront the feelings swirling around Sirius too.
…
For the rest of the week, Remus kept his distance from both Mary and Sirius, feeling too confused to face either of them. He avoided Sirius even at their dormitory, often slipping away when the Marauders gathered. When Sirius would call out to him, Remus would offer a vague excuse or simply keep walking, a tightening knot in his stomach as he felt the weight of unspoken words hanging between them.
In the mornings, he would enter the common room, his heart sinking as he saw Sirius laughing with Peter, or joking around with James. He wished he could join in, but instead, he found a corner to sink into, burying his nose in a book or pretending to be absorbed in his homework. Every time he caught a glimpse of Sirius—his easy smile, the way he threw his head back when he laughed—Remus felt a pang of longing mixed with confusion.
The memory of Mary’s words echoed relentlessly in his mind: “Are you gay for Sirius or something?” It sent him spiraling, and he couldn’t shake the thought that maybe he was. The idea both intrigued and terrified him, leaving him in a state of turmoil he couldn't comprehend.
One evening, as he was leaving the library with an armful of books, he spotted Mary coming down the hallway. Panic surged through him, and he quickly ducked behind a stack of old tomes, heart racing. He held his breath, hoping she wouldn’t see him, not wanting to face her questions or the expectations that came with them.
While he hid, he began to pay closer attention to Sirius, who was sitting with James and Peter at a table in the common room, talking animatedly about Quidditch practice. Remus found himself drawn to the little details: the way Sirius’s hair fell across his forehead, how his eyes sparkled with mischief, and the way he gestured wildly as he spoke. Each detail only deepened the confusion in Remus’s heart, mingling admiration with an ache of longing.
As the laughter from the table washed over him, Remus felt an overwhelming desire to confide in someone, to share the chaos swirling in his mind. But he couldn’t talk to Sirius—how could he? Instead, he felt trapped in silence, an invisible barrier separating him from the very people he wanted to connect with.
He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts as he watched Sirius from a distance. The feeling of isolation washed over him, and he felt as if he were suffocating under the weight of his emotions, stuck in a spiral of confusion and self-doubt that left him feeling more lost than ever.
…
James had been noticing that Remus was acting strangely for a while now ever since the weekend in Hogsmead. It wasn’t just the usual quietness that marked Remus’s demeanor; there was something else, a distance that hadn’t been there before. Remus was avoiding the Marauders, especially Sirius, and that concerned James deeply. He could see how Sirius was affected too, his usual carefree banter dimming as he tried to reach out to Remus, only to be met with silence and retreat.
Determined to get to the bottom of it, James decided to wait for a moment when he knew Remus would be alone in the dormitory. After dinner one evening, when the common room buzzed with activity, he slipped upstairs, confident that Remus would be holed up with his books, lost in his studies.
One night, as the fire crackled softly in the common room, James made his way to the boys’ dormitory, feeling the weight of his concern pressing on him. When he entered, he found Remus sitting on the floor, surrounded by a pile of books, his expression focused but distant.
James took a deep breath and locked the door behind him, a decision that filled him with purpose. “Remus,” he said, stepping closer. “Can we talk?”
Remus looked up, surprise flashing in his eyes, but James could see the flicker of apprehension as well. He knew what James wanted to talk about, and he didn’t want to. For a moment, the room felt heavy with unspoken words.
“Before you say anything,” James interrupted, sensing Remus’s hesitation, “I want to talk to you about what’s been going on. I’m worried.”
Remus’s gaze darted toward the door, and James noted the way his friend’s posture shifted, as if he were considering making a break for it. “You’re thinking about escaping, aren’t you?” James said, a small smirk creeping onto his face, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You can’t. I locked the door.”
The weight of the situation hung thick in the air. Remus released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and finally nodded. “Okay,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
James sat down across from him, leaning forward, his expression serious. “ So… What happened in Hogsmead? Whappened with Mary?”
Remus shifted uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact as he began to recount the events. “It was just... things got out of hand. I didn’t know how to handle it, and then she started talking about being alone together and exploring... and then I just panicked. So she went all crazy and asked me if I liked Sirius.”
James raised an eyebrow, concern deepening. “Is it true then?” he asked, his tone gentle yet direct.
“What do you mean, ‘is it true?’” Remus replied, defensive. “What’s true?”
James held his gaze steady. “Is it true that you like Sirius?”
The question hung in the air, and Remus felt his heart race. He didn’t know how to articulate what was happening inside him. “I… I don’t know,” he admitted, feeling the walls he had built begin to crumble. “Every time I see him, it’s like my head gets all mixed up. I’ve been dating Mary for months, but I can’t get Sirius out of my mind. It feels wrong.”
James listened intently, nodding, giving Remus the space to let his thoughts spill out. “It’s all so confusing. One minute I think I like girls, and the next… it’s like this feeling for Sirius just hits me out of nowhere. And it’s not just that; I feel angry that I can’t sort it all out. Why am I feeling this way? I shouldn’t be!”
As the weight of his emotions grew, Remus felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes, surprising him. He hadn’t intended to cry, but the confusion and frustration poured out in an angry rush, the tears falling freely. “I thought I liked girls! I was supposed to be happy with Mary! But then… there’s Sirius. He shouldn’t have this hold on me, but he does! I’m just so mad at this mess I’m in!”
James reached out, placing a comforting hand on Remus’s knee. “It’s okay to be confused. You’re figuring this out, and you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here for you.”
Remus took a shaky breath, the combination of relief and anger swirling inside him. “I feel like I’m dying inside,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “I just don’t know how to fix this.”
James leaned back slightly, crossing his arms with a knowing smile. “You know, you really should talk to both of them about this—especially Sirius.”
Remus laughed softly, wiping away the remnants of his tears. “Talk to Sirius? No way. He’s not into boys, and I’m not about to make everything messy between us.”
James chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m not so sure about that. From what I’ve seen, I’d bet Sirius is into you. The way he looks at you? It’s different.”
Remus blinked, caught off guard by the assertion. “What are you talking about?” he said, trying to keep his tone light, but inside, he felt a rush of heat flood his cheeks. “He’s just being friendly.”
“Friendly?” James laughed again, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Come on, Remus. You’re telling me you haven’t noticed the way he watches you when he thinks you’re not looking? The boy’s head nearly spins off his shoulders when you enter a room!”
Remus shook his head, trying to dismiss the idea, but his heart raced at the thought. “Sirius can’t like me. That would be… complicated. I can’t even sort out my feelings right now. Why would he want to get tangled in that mess?”
James leaned closer, his expression serious. “Because he cares about you. And you care about him, too, whether you want to admit it or not. You can’t keep avoiding this. You owe it to yourself to figure it out.”
“I just don’t want to ruin what we have,” Remus said quietly, feeling the weight of James’s words. “It’s easier to just keep it all to myself.”
“Is it, though?” James replied. “Hiding your feelings only makes it harder. You deserve to be happy, and if Sirius is a part of that, you shouldn’t run away from it.”
Silence then settled between Remus and James. Remus found himself lost in contemplation, processing everything James had said and the realization that he couldn't keep avoiding the truth. The weight of his confusion hung in the air, palpable and suffocating.
After what felt like an eternity, James finally stood up, breaking the stillness. He looked at Remus for a moment, his expression a mix of concern and understanding, and then without saying another word, he walked out of the dormitory, leaving Remus alone with his swirling thoughts.
As the door clicked shut behind James, Remus felt a mix of relief and uneasiness. The conversation lingered in his mind, repeating itself again and again. He knew he couldn’t ignore these feelings forever, but the prospect of opening up to both Mary and Sirius seemed daunting.
For the rest of the week, the weight of James’s words stayed with him. Each time he spotted Sirius or Mary, a rush of anxiety coursed through him, leaving him feeling more isolated and confused. He wished he could unravel the tangled mess in his heart but felt trapped, unable to move forward.
…
Sirius had been in a foul mood ever since the Hogsmeade trip. The joy that usually accompanied their adventures felt dimmed, overshadowed by the swirling thoughts about Remus and the increasing distance between them. He had replayed the events of that day in his mind countless times, trying to understand why Remus had suddenly become so withdrawn. It didn’t make sense to him; one moment, they were close, and the next, it felt like an impenetrable wall had gone up.
Roaming through the castle, Sirius couldn’t shake off the sense of irritation that gnawed at him. A letter from his family had arrived that morning, filled with their usual complaints and demands, only adding to his bad temper. He shoved the crumpled letter into his pocket, cursing under his breath. The weight of his family's expectations felt suffocating, but nothing compared to the worry he felt about Remus.
Turning a corner, he spotted Dorcas, who was alone. The sight made his heart sink instantly. If Dorcas was here, that meant Mary wasn’t with her, and likely, she was with Remus. The thought twisted something in Sirius’s chest, and he felt a wave of misery wash over him.
Why was it always Mary? he thought bitterly. She doesn’t even know Remus like I do.
Remus was so much more than what Mary saw. She didn’t know the true depth of Remus’s character; she had no idea about the challenges he faced every full moon, or that he was a werewolf. That knowledge changed everything for Sirius, grounding him in an understanding of Remus that no one else had.
Mary didn’t know how remarkable Remus was in Defense Against the Dark Arts, or how he’d faced down danger time and time again. She didn’t know the way Remus’s face lit up when he talked about his favorite books or how he would get lost in thought, completely unaware of his surroundings. Mary never had to risk everything to become an Animagus, just so Remus could have company and not feel alone during those long full moon nights.
Sirius’s mood soured further as he considered how Mary had swept in, seemingly effortlessly, while he had fought to be close to Remus in ways that were far more profound. It’s not just that she gets to keep Remus; she doesn’t even know him.
His overwhelming sense of frustration was rising up in him. He needed Remus right now, not Mary. He missed the late-night conversations filled with laughter and quiet confessions. He missed how easily they could share moments of silence, just enjoying each other's company. He longed to break through whatever barrier had come between them.
Sirius couldn’t bear the thought of Mary winning Remus over. It felt like a battle he refused to lose. Remus deserved better, and Sirius was determined to remind him of that. With a plan forming in his mind, he walked purposefully toward Dorcas, his resolve solidifying with each step.
He approached her with an air of casual confidence. “Hey, Dorcas,” he said, leaning against the wall beside her. “Have you seen Mary? I haven’t caught up with her in ages.”
Dorcas raised an eyebrow, a knowing look crossing her face. She could see through Sirius’s pretense; she knew he wasn’t a fan of Mary. “Really?” she said, crossing her arms.
Sirius feigned innocence, putting on a mock thoughtful expression. “I just thought it would be nice to check in, you know? We’ve all been so busy with classes and everything.”
But Dorcas could read him well, and her smirk told him she wasn’t buying it. “Mary is in her room with Remus,” she said, watching as Sirius’s eyes widened in shock.
“What?” Sirius’s voice was barely a whisper, the sudden unease washing over him. The thought of Remus alone with Mary sent a jolt of panic through him, a wave of protectiveness rising that he couldn’t quite explain.
Dorcas chuckled, clearly enjoying the moment. “I’m just picking on you, Sirius. I have no idea where Mary is. Could be anywhere, really.”
Relief flooded through him, but it was mixed with frustration. He shot her a glare, half-amused and half-annoyed. “You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?”
She shrugged, a playful smile on her lips. “You seem awfully happy to find out that was a lie. What’s that say about you, huh?”
Sirius tried to brush it off, but he could feel his cheeks heating up. “It’s not like that,” he insisted, though he couldn’t hide the hint of panic in his voice. “I just...”
Dorcas stepped closer, her expression shifting to something more serious. “Sirius, you need to just tell Remus already. You can’t keep pretending everything’s fine when you’re clearly in love with him.”
Sirius shook his head, a stubborn resolve settling over him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Dorcas. I’m not in love with Remus. He’s just my best mate, that’s all.”
Dorcas raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile tugging at her lips. “For a Gryffindor, you’re being quite cowardly, Sirius. You can’t fool me. It’s obvious how you look at him, how you’re always crushing his and Mary’s date. You’re practically pining for him.”
Sirius bristled at her words, though deep down, he knew there was truth to them. He had been keeping an eye on Remus, watching the way he interacted with Mary. And yet, a small voice in his head insisted he wasn’t a third wheel; as far as he was concerned, Mary was the real third wheel.
“I’m not a third wheel,” he muttered defensively, crossing his arms. “I’m just... looking out for him.”
“Looking out for him, huh?” Dorcas replied, her tone dripping with skepticism. “By letting him go on dates with Mary while you stand on the sidelines? That doesn’t sound like looking out for him at all.”
Sirius opened his mouth to retort, but the words stuck in his throat. He wanted to defend himself, to argue against her perception, but he knew she had a point. He was there, hovering, and every time he saw Remus laugh with Mary, it felt like a punch to the gut.
“Just admit it, Sirius,” Dorcas pressed. “You’re scared of what this means. You’re scared to let yourself feel anything more than friendship because you don’t know how it will change everything. But you won't know until you try it. Just tell him.”
The words hit him like a spell, leaving him momentarily speechless. He opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out. The truth of what Dorcas said hung in the air between them, and he felt a mixture of vulnerability and embarrassment flood through him.
“I can’t just tell him,” he finally managed to say, his voice quieter now, more uncertain. “What if it ruins everything? What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
Dorcas gave him a pointed look, her tone gentle yet firm. “Then you’ll know. But what’s worse? The uncertainty you’re living with now or knowing for sure? You can’t keep hiding from your feelings, Sirius.”
Sirius felt the weight of her words settle heavily on his shoulders, and for a moment, he simply stood there, grappling with the truth of it all. He wanted to fight against the advice, to insist he was fine, but deep down, he knew she was right. The fear of rejection loomed large, but so did the realization that he couldn’t keep this up forever.
The words Dorcas had said lingered in Sirius’s mind throughout the entire week, haunting him with their truth.
The following week, things grew even weirder between Sirius and Remus. The distance that had formed felt like an insurmountable chasm, with Remus increasingly distancing himself from Sirius. Every day, Sirius felt more and more miserable about it. The tension between them was palpable, so much so that even their friends started to notice. Whispers passed through the corridors, and curious glances were exchanged whenever the two were in the same room, both of them navigating a minefield of unspoken feelings.
By the time Easter arrived, Sirius felt hopeless. This situation seemed like it would become their new normal, and he couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that after everything they had been through together, Remus had just shut him out because of a girl—Mary MacDonald, of all people. It felt unjust and confusing, like a cruel twist of fate that had turned their friendship into a silent battleground.
On the other side, Remus was grappling with his own feelings for Sirius. He was coming to terms with the truth that had blossomed in his heart, but each time he thought about speaking to Sirius, the courage seemed to fade away. From where he stood, Sirius looked perfect—confident, carefree, and completely unattainable. The thought of revealing his feelings filled him with dread; how could he possibly expect Sirius to feel the same way?
Yet deep down, Remus knew he had to tell him. He couldn’t keep living in this state of confusion and silence. But Mary was an equal part of the problem, too. She deserved an explanation after he had mysteriously shut her out for three weeks, and he felt guilty for putting her through that without a word.
As the holiday approached, Remus felt a growing determination to confront the situation, and Sirius, too, was wrestling with his own desire to mend things with Remus. Both boys found themselves at a crossroads, ready to take a step forward but unsure of how to bridge the gap that had formed between them.
…
Sirius burst into the library, his heart racing and breath coming in quick gasps. He felt desperate as he scanned the room. It was as if he had been running, though he couldn’t quite remember when. All he knew was that he needed to find Remus and talk to him, and fast.
Lily, seated at a nearby table, noticed his frantic demeanor and immediately felt a wave of sympathy wash over her. She set her book aside and approached him, concern etched on her face. “Sirius, what’s wrong?” she asked, her voice gentle but probing.
“I need to talk to Remus,” he blurted out, glancing around the library as if he might magically spot his friend hiding among the shelves.
“Remus? He’s in Mary’s room,” Lily replied, and Sirius couldn’t help but let out a laugh, though it felt hollow. He remembered Dorcas's teasing and how he had dismissed it, thinking it couldn’t possibly be true.
But then he saw the seriousness in Lily’s expression. “You’re being serious?” he asked, disbelief creeping into his voice. “He’s actually in there with her?”
Lily nodded, a frown deepening on her brow. “Yeah, Sirius. What did you think I was doing in the library on Easter? I'm just giving them some privacy.”
Panic surged through him like ice water, freezing him in place. The floor felt like it was opening up beneath his feet, and he could almost hear the rumbling echo of reality crashing down around him. This can’t be happening, he thought, a wave of despair washing over him.
The truth slammed into him: Remus didn’t like him. He had never stood a chance. Mary had won, and Sirius was left standing on the sidelines, feeling utterly defeated. The thought of Remus locked away with her, in her room, having sex with her twisted the knife of disappointment deeper into his heart.
He blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the rush of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. “I— I thought maybe…” Sirius stammered, struggling to find the words. But deep down, he knew it was too late. The realization settled heavily on his chest, a crushing weight that left him breathless.
Sirius forced a smile, but it felt brittle and fake. “Thanks, Lily,” he managed to say before turning away, his mind racing. All he could think about was how desperately before he wanted to confront Remus, to tell him everything he felt. But now, faced with the reality of Remus being with Mary, he felt the hope draining away, leaving only a hollow ache in its place.
Sirius trudged back to the Gryffindor Tower, feeling like a complete loser. Losing Remus felt like mourning a piece of himself, and he didn’t want to see anyone. The common room was packed with students, laughter and chatter echoing off the walls.
As Sirius made his way toward the stairs, a sudden grip on his shoulders halted him. Startled, he turned to see Remus standing there, his mouth was moving, but Sirius couldn’t hear a word over the noise of the room. Confusion clouded his thoughts.
“What?” he managed to ask.
“Are you going deaf?” Remus replied, a teasing lilt in his tone that only deepened the ache in Sirius’s chest. “I was trying to talk to you!”
Sirius’s gaze traveled to Remus’s eyes, and for a moment, the world around them faded away. Those familiar, warm eyes felt like both a comfort and a torture, reminding him of everything he had lost. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold Remus, to tell him how he felt, but how could he when Remus had a girlfriend that he loved.
They stood there, locked in each other’s gaze, and for a heartbeat, the chaos of the common room disappeared. Then, Remus smiled—a sincere, beautiful smile that took Sirius’s breath away.
“I need to talk to you,” Remus said softly, his expression earnest.
Sirius’s heart raced at the prospect, torn between desire and dread. He was beyond sad at the thought of losing Remus completely, yet he craved the connection they shared. He knew he should be bracing himself for stories of the incredible time Remus had spent with Mary, possibly full of sordid details of their first time together, but the thought of being near him again was too tempting to resist.
“Okay,” Sirius replied, his voice barely above a whisper, though uncertainty twisted in his gut. He felt like he might die of jealousy hearing about their time together, but just being with Remus, even in the midst of that pain, was worth it.
Remus glanced around, seemingly aware of the prying eyes in the crowded room. “We can’t talk here,” he said, his tone shifting to one of urgency. “Let’s go somewhere more private.”
Sirius nodded.
Remus led Sirius into their empty dormitory, the familiar space suddenly feeling charged with unspoken tension. Sirius dropped onto his bed, releasing a long, heavy breath that seemed to carry all the weight of his frustration and confusion. Remus stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed, palms sweating, his nerves bubbling to the surface. He didn’t know how to begin.
Clearing his throat, he took a step closer, glancing at Sirius, who had closed his eyes, seemingly lost in thought. “I talked to Mary this afternoon,” Remus started, feeling the words catch in his throat. He pushed on, hoping to steady himself with each syllable. “I... I have a secret I’ve been keeping to myself for a while now, and it’s getting too heavy. Way heavier than being a werewolf.”
He paused, expecting some kind of response, but Sirius remained silent, his eyes still shut tight. Remus’s heart raced as the pressure built within him, urging him to continue. “I wish I had practiced what to say,” he admitted, frustration creeping into his voice. “It’s just so hard to make sense of my words right now.”
Taking a deep breath, he continued, “I had to let Mary know first. It felt only fair after everything I’ve done to her. She’s mad at me, and I hope she can forgive me, but I need to be truthful. I can’t keep seeing her.”
As Remus spoke, he felt a mix of relief and dread. Each word was a step toward honesty, yet he could sense the weight of the moment pressing down on both of them. He wanted to look at Sirius, to gauge his reaction, but he feared what he might see. Instead, he kept his gaze focused on the floor, the gravity of his confession settling heavily in the room.
With the silence stretching between them, Remus could feel the enormity of his decision hanging in the air. He had finally opened up about his feelings, and now all he could do was wait for Sirius to respond, his heart racing with uncertainty.
As Remus finished speaking, Sirius pushed himself up from his bed, propping his weight on his elbows to get a better look at Remus’s face. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. The words felt like a jolt of electricity coursing through him, and he struggled to process the information. The room seemed to shrink around them, the air thick with unspoken tension.
“What do you mean you can’t keep seeing Mary?” Sirius asked, his voice thick with disbelief. He searched Remus’s eyes, looking for any sign that this was a joke, but all he found was the sincerity etched across his friend’s face.
Remus took a deep breath, his expression shifting to one of vulnerability. “The truth is... I like you, Sirius. I’ve fallen for you,” he confessed, the words tumbling out in a rush. “I can’t go on with Mary. It isn’t fair to her or to me. I know how crazy that sounds, but I can’t help myself. I’m crazy about you.”
Sirius’s heart raced as he processed Remus’s confession. Crazy about him? The admission hung in the air like a fragile balloon, threatening to burst with any sudden movement. Remus continued, his voice breathless and filled with urgency. “I think about you twenty-four hours a day. I dream about you... and your smile, your laugh... everything. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but I can’t keep myself from loving you.”
The weight of Remus’s words settled over Sirius, and he felt a mix of emotions surge through him—shock, disbelief, and something that felt suspiciously like hope. Remus’s gaze was steady, and in that moment, Sirius could see the truth reflected in his eyes. The room felt electric, and he could almost hear the unsteady beating of his heart echoing in the silence.
Remus took another breath, and for a moment, he seemed lost in thought. “I know things might be awkward from now on,” he said, his voice trembling slightly. “But I need you to keep being my friend. Because without you, I can’t breathe.”
Sirius felt as if the ground had shifted beneath him, the world outside their conversation fading away. The confession hung in the air, a delicate thread between them that he suddenly realized he had been yearning for. In that moment, all the fear and uncertainty melted away, replaced by a single, overwhelming truth: he didn’t want to lose Remus, not now, not ever.
“Remus...” Sirius began, his voice softening as he searched for the right words, “you’re not losing me.”
Sirius felt a rush of emotions coursing through him, a mixture of excitement and relief. He couldn't hold back any longer. He sprang off his bed and closed the distance between them, capturing Remus's lips with his own in a kiss that felt electric, strong, and full of love. Their mouths moved together in a fervor, tongues dancing and teeth grazing, each moment igniting a fire between them that neither had anticipated.
The kiss deepened, and it was as if they were exploring a new world together, hands roaming freely over each other's bodies. Sirius tangled his fingers in Remuss hair, pulling him closer, while Remus pressed his groin against him, revealing how he was feeling about that kiss. Neither could believe what was happening, but in that blissful haze, nothing else mattered. When they finally broke apart, breathless and wide-eyed, they didn't pull away too far. Instead, they embraced, foreheads touching, each of them savoring the intimacy of the moment.
"What does this mean?" Remus asked, a hint of vulnerability in his voice, still searching for clarity.
Sirius laughed softly, the sound laced with pure joy. "It means we're a couple now," he replied, his smile wide and genuine. "And if you get any closer to another girl again, I'll have to perform some ridiculous stunt to get your attention back."
Remus raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile creeping onto his lips. "Oh really? Like what?"
"Like charm my broomstick to fly circles around you during class until you can't concentrate on anything else," Sirius said, grinning mischievously. "Or maybe have Peeves drop a bucket of water on you every time you try to talk to someone else."
"Sounds like you've got it all planned out," Remus said, chuckling as he leaned closer, feeling the warmth of Sirius's body against his.
Sirius smirked, his heart soaring at the sight of Remus's smile, knowing that whatever challenges lay ahead, they would face them together.