Indescribable Infatuation
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, they’d adjusted to their new school and schedule perfectly. The bedroom situation for Malfoy and Potter being sorted out and they’d sleep on their own respective single bed, and desk for each on their own sides. The rivalry the two had in their school days was rekindled to that of sweet playful banter, but there was something to Draco that felt out of place– Harry really couldn’t name it.
Both Hermione and Ron had convinced him that he was just being like that, “Cuz Malfoy’s well Malfoy– obviously there's something mental with a bloke who's a former death eater,” as Ron put it. Harry’s naturally curious nature wouldn’t leave it at that so he did some digging, reading old newspapers, trying to eavesdrop every conversation he could, and eventually started following Malfoy around places– A strangely nostalgic feeling. He made this all painfully obvious, it wasn’t a surprise when Draco caught on to what he was doing, but he didn’t confront it instead he let Harry do the snooping around as he so desired.
It was a Friday and Harry’s classes ended early, so did Draco’s. Harry, carrying on his investigation case, lingered in the hallways trying to catch Draco leaving his class so he could follow him– He was heading in a different direction, outside of school; that didn’t stop Harry. Eventually, Malfoy entered a bar in Hogsmeade, leaning against a wall with a drink swirling in his hands, he looked strikingly good in black as he always does– “Come to join me Potter?”
That cut him out of thought as he realised he forgot to be sneaky about entering; he had straight up approached Draco instead, with much hesitance, he acted as if it was intentional– standing next to him, his stature still shorter even though he was upright. “What brings you here?” Potter asked.
“Can’t a man like drinking without a reason?” Draco said, deflecting the question. Harry hummed in response, his mind trying to find a reason to accuse Draco, but there was nothing. All his searching and stalking gave him nothing– if anything, it made him notice every move Draco made more. Potter, laughably unaware of the fact that Malfoy fully knew of his every attempt at trying to find fault in his character found it bitterly amusing.
“I’ll get myself a drink,” Harry stated, making his way to the counter, Draco following behind, “One wine!” Draco requested , both of them taking a seat; the bartender poured the wine without question, gliding it towards them, “It’s on me,” Harry gave him a small smile. They sat and drank their own drink in a sort of uncomfortable silence, Harry constantly glancing at Draco– trying to find anything that seemed off. “Should I act completely oblivious to your astounding interest in me?” Draco broke the silence, looking back at Harry, caving in his forest-like eyes that faltered to come up with a believable lie– He saw right through him.
Harry gathered his thoughts and spoke, “It’s hard to believe that a person like you changed overnight to what, a saint?” Malfoy looked back at him with disdain in his eyes, he had thought they were on neutral if not friendly terms now, “Well Potter, not everyone is surrounded by ‘good’ influences such as yourself. Anything you do is treated with respect and admiration, but I had to fight my way to get my name out of the trenches even though most of it was my father’s fault.”
Harry looked at him, his head hurting indescribably, “Good to know, have a good evening Malfoy,” Harry got up hurriedly, stumbling over his feet as he dragged himself into a stall locking the door as soon as he entered. His whole body collapsed against the enclosed walls of the stall. His back slowly slid down as he tried to figure out what went wrong. Why had he been obsessing over Draco all night and all day? He never failed to leave his mind no matter what he did or where he was. Draco has always looked so perfect– he wanted him so badly it hurt.
‘Wait– is this the effect of Amortentia? Obsession?’ As soon as that thought came to mind, his headache left as well. Harry stared at the wall blankly, ‘there is no way, this is just who I’m investigating, not anything more’. He tried convincing himself it couldn’t be, it shouldn’t be, he can’t. His mind struck back to Malfoy,
And that’s when Harry realised that the only thing wrong with Malfoy was his own desperate infatuation for him.
Hermione had been awfully concerned about Harry in their later days, her expertise in Potions had her guess that it could have been the Amortentia’s effect on him, but it never occurred to her to what extent it could affect the person.
Her point was proven wrong when Harry came stumbling to her looking like a mess, naturally she took him to her dorm, seating him in one of the seats– ‘thank merlin Pansy’s not here’ she thought. After getting him a cup of water and sitting beside her she had to stop herself from asking an explosion of questions, seeming that would probably stress him out.
“What’s wrong Harry?” That one question had Harry downspiraling, saying barely coherent sentences that he likes Draco and he can’t help it. Hermione tried terribly hard to empathise with him, but it didn’t make sense to her why he was fighting his feelings for him, it’s not a bad thing to have a crush. “Malfoy’s fine now Harry, he’s changed, you can like him,” That was exactly what Harry needed to hear, reassurance. It was hard to hear her opinion of him change after all they’d been through, but it was an obvious observation that Malfoy never bothered them nor picked at them like he did when he was younger, if anything, he was helpful most of the time.
So, after a much needed pep-talk with Hermione he left the building and sat by the benches around the Albus Dumbledore statue, breathing in the air as he saw the sunset in the background; the change was remarkable and not one he hated surprisingly. Behind him walked those footsteps Harry swore he had memorised, Draco, he took another deep breath and perhaps he’ll apologise he did make some rude claims towards the latter.
“I’m sorry,”
Said Draco, he had this look in his face, glum, sad, apologetic. “For what?” Harry replied, Draco sat next to him, observing the way his hair swept to the side from the breeze. “I don’t even know if you realise this, but you’ve been through so much and I added so much to your suffering. My ignorance isn’t a justifiable reason for me to be let off,” He continued talking about everything and anything, looking as though he’d never stop talking and apologising.
“I forgive you.” Harry stated, looking back at Draco as the melancholy silence filled the air around them and night set in the sky. Draco leaned forward and pulled Harry in for a hug, his arms wrapped tightly around Harry’s waist and back, his neck flexing down, smelling his hair keenly. Harry sat still, before wrapping his arms around Draco as well, melting into his arms; letting him hold him for eternity. They sat in each other's embrace until the night air got too cold and they pulled apart heading to their dorm together, settling into the same embrace they had the first night. Harry fell asleep instantly.
Draco laid in bed, Harry in his arms, staring up above at the ceiling; a certain comfort over him as he looked back down and took the pair of glasses off of Harry’s face, settling them neatly on the bedside table. He held onto him as if he could lose him at any moment, his mind straying to the words he said in the bar, they were insensitive and discredited everything Harry went through.
It was thoughts like this which especially kept him up at night, he didn’t want Harry to think bad of him and he certainly didn’t want to assume to be the bad guy in his life again, for once he wanted to be someone Harry could rely on for, to trust him, to depend on him. There was one thing Harry needed in particular and that was rest as well as a normal life– both of which Draco was more than happy to provide, The Chosen One or not, Draco wouldn’t treat him artificially or want to use him for his status; he wanted him for who he was.
The night dragged on and Draco soon fell asleep as well, thank god for the fact it was Saturday the next day; they were both awfully tired. Both of their bodies were entangled with each other, hands clasped together.
They both awoke from the sunlight escaping from the blinds, both of them groaning and shifting to get away from the sunlight– it was far too early. Harry always had woke earlier especially for all the early morning training Oliver had made him do in his school days, but today was a day where he just wanted to be embraced in the arms of his ‘secret crush’ the good part being his assignment for Potions was now complete, he just had to figure out how to apparate multiple times in a row now– no biggie right? Yeah right it was absolutely ridiculous and he’d rather just sleep the day away.
Draco was always well rounded in his subjects, though his grades had tanked greatly in sixth/seventh year; well obviously, who wouldn't if You-Know-Who was convincing you to do horribly things. All his classes were going great, except Potions– which he's the best at, and he is, but the second part of the assignment didn’t make any sense. Amortentia is supposed to conjure the smell of your obsession not your love; though those two could be used interchangeably. His, without a shadow of a doubt was Harry Potter, like it’s literally who he’s been wanting to befriend and has been so crazily jealous of, but now it seemed like he wanted Harry; as in physically-bodily-mentally (Partner-wise).
It didn’t make sense to mull over the stuff he had done to Harry in the past, but he could acknowledge them instead of running away like the coward he was, he had to be there for Harry for him to ever see him as he thought. Draco wanted Harry to like him this year really badly and he supposed he was accomplished, like they were just a quarter into the year and he had Harry snuggling close to him so it’s definitely a win.
Slowly, both of them got up, showering and sitting side by side with each other– again. Draco thought he’d attempt cooking and tried to make pancakes with smiles on them but the smiles ended up looking like frowns and Harry had a terrible cackle at them completely clowning on Draco’s cooking to which he just smiled like an idiot; at least they weren’t burnt or undercooked.
They were getting along so well, they both felt kiddy about it, smiling and being talkative. They had an optional to attend assembly today and they both sat besides each other, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. The weekend was short lived though, and Harry realised he had done none of his paper homework.
Stumbling to his desk he quickly filled his Potions notebook with Draco’s name as the result of the Amortentia and moved onto his Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook work, it was a whole two page essay he had to write, there really shouldn’t be this much theory to it he thought as he scrambled to finish it before midnight.