Ang mga sagot sa aking mga katanungan ay nakahawak sa aking kamay; ‘di pakakawalan
*****
Cameron never liked the cold.
Perhaps it was just a personal preference, because for someone who lived in a tropical country that had humid weather for most of the year, she always dreaded it when it was finally the -ber months. The cold weather meant extra blankets at night, extra jackets when going out, and extra comfort desperately needed to be clinging next to her.
She didn’t know why she was weak against the cold either. Her friends and colleagues back at the station often teased her about it, telling her that maybe she just needed someone by her side to keep her warm. It had been joked around to the point that all of her teammates tried setting her up with random people, which Cameron always turned down. Not that she didn’t want to, and she appreciated everyone’s gesture and concern for her. But she didn’t want to force anything that she felt she didn’t need just yet.
It wasn’t how Cameron pictured it was all going to be.
But that one night in the bar wasn’t exactly how she expected it to be, either.
The bite of the wind cut her thoughts short, and the smile on her face as she recalled the memory disappeared from her face. Cameron shivered, suddenly aware where she was. The tall structure of the university’s front gates looked a bit intimidating. But with almost a year of being familiar with its sight whenever she waited right outside for a certain dean had already made Cameron used to it.
And if she were to be asked, she would probably say that it was one of her favorite places to be. Especially when she was going to see the loveliest person she’d ever had the honor to meet come out every time.
Cameron tucked the lapels of her jacket tighter around herself when another gust of wind hit blew around her, a wince twitching onto her lips. It really was December now, and the cold was unforgiving. An exaggeration on her part, for sure, but it was something that Cameron would have a hard time liking.
“Parang sinabi mo sakin nung isang araw na puro gabi ‘yung shift niyo nila Monty until next week?” a voice said, and Cameron felt a smile on her lips even before her eyes laid fully on the person who spoke.
Mavis was walking past the gates and towards Cameron, clad in a long jacket around her and hair tied up in a messy bun. It was already a little past six in the evening, somewhat late to Mavis’ usual out, but she still looked as ethereal as was at the start and end of the day. Like she was straight out of a fairy tale that was almost too perfect.
The warmth in Cameron’s chest spread through her skin, and she didn’t even bother to hide the look of utter adoration she most likely had on her face as she looked at the woman before her.
“Is this your way of surprising me, Lieutenant?” asked Mavis as she stopped in front of Cameron, a playful, narrowed look directed at her. “May ginawa ka bang kasalanan?”
Cameron laughed at that, and she shook her head. “Good evening to you too, miss ma’am. I’m guessing that the surprise worked kung ganyan reaction mo?” she said with an expectant look. “Sana naman pala ‘no? Parang malulungkot ako kapag hindi.”
Mavis rolled her eyes, but the semblance of a smile was already at the edge of her lips. “Paka-arte talaga,” she muttered, but stepped into Cameron’s space nevertheless, arms loosely coming around Cameron’s waist. She let out a sigh. “Hey, lieutenant.”
“Hey, miss ma’am,” murmured Cameron, a bit breathless, and she pulled Mavis into her embrace. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too,” hummed Mavis, and Cameron felt the woman’s lips press a kiss onto her jaw before burying her face back to her shoulder. Then her arms sneaked under Cameron’s jacket, as if she was annoyed with the thick layer of clothes that seemed to lessen Cameron’s presence and she just wanted to be pushed closer to her. “At oo, gumana naman ‘yung surprise mo. ‘Wag ka na malungkot.”
A laugh rumbled out of Cameron’s chest. “I’m glad,” she said.
Another rush of warmth settled onto Cameron, her arms tightening around Mavis. This was exactly what she had been finding for the past few weeks. Her schedule had been a bit more hectic as she started taking more shifts when the other team needed more manpower due to several members being injured from a call. To say that she missed Mavis around and near her was an understatement, so when she saw the chance to be able to end her shift early and in time for Mavis’ out, Cameron took it right away.
Cameron closed her eyes, letting herself bask in the moment for another while before letting go. She kissed Mavis’ forehead, taking Mavis’ other bag and hooking it around her own arm. “So, miss ma’am,” she said, a knowing smile on her lips, “dinner?”
Mavis raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained. “Do you still have to ask? You know my answer will always be yes.”
“Well, nothing wrong in being sure.”
They started walking towards the nearest waiting stop for public transport, with Mavis loosely holding at Cameron’s arm. There was another rush of wind around them, and Cameron unconsciously stepped closer to Mavis to seek more shelter against the cold. Mavis seemed to notice this and she stopped in her tracks, looking at Cameron with an amused look.
“Nilalamig ka ba, Cam?” she asked, eyes narrowed playfully again.
Cameron’s immediate thought was to deny it, but one raised eyebrow from Mavis had her biting her tongue and shoving that thought right away. She let out a nervous chuckle, feeling heat creep up to her cheeks and ears in embarrassment. “Medyo,” she mumbled, a hand coming up to scratch the spot behind her ear shyly. “Hindi lang talaga ako sanay sa malamig.”
Mavis looked at her for another long moment, and then she was laughing lightly. “Bakit naman kasi hindi mo sinasabi?” she said, shaking her head. To Cameron’s surprise, Mavis dropped her hand that was holding Cameron by the arm into Cameron’s hand, intertwining their fingers together. “Ang lamig nga ng kamay mo ‘no?”
The smile on Mavis’ face softened, and she looked at Cameron adoringly. Then Mavis put their joined hands together in her jacket’s pocket. Cameron felt her heart stutter into a stop in her chest, the gesture making her breathless and feeling all the weird turns in her stomach.
“There, better?” asked Mavis gently, her thumb brushing the skin on Cameron’s knuckles. She let out another chuckle. “Hahawakan ko sana dalawang kamay mo eh kaso parang ang weird ng magiging itsura natin nun habang naglalakad.”
Cameron laughed at that, feeling light all over. She gazed at the woman before her, and she found herself tightening her hold onto Mavis’ hand. If this was what her friends meant by having someone to keep her warm, then she wasn’t going to complain.
And the funnier thing was, Cameron never was a clingy person. There was something about being dependent on another person’s presence that felt off to her. It was probably the fact that she had been living alone for at least a decade now, that the thought of having someone still felt strange to her.
But after meeting Mavis, she had been welcoming all the new feelings that she was starting to get used to, and she was open to having all of that when it came to her.
“You look after and save lives on a daily basis, Cam,” Mavis said, her free hand coming up to touch Cameron’s cheek. “Kaya kahit minsan, hayaan mo sarili mong kumapit sakin. Ako naman magbabalik sa’yo nung mga bagay na ginagawa mo para sa ibang tao.”
Cameron felt the sting of tears in her eyes then, and she smiled fondly at Mavis. She stepped closer to Mavis, pressing her forehead lightly against the other woman’s. “You’re just amazing, aren’t you?” she said, still vividly remembering Mavis’ words to her before on the day she had the courage to finally ask her out. She closed her eyes. “Parang understatement pa nga ‘yun kung tutuusin.”
Mavis chuckled at that, and Cameron felt the other woman nudge at her nose with hers. “I know, I am a treat, lieutenant,” she said, making Cameron laugh again as she pulled back slightly to look at Mavis’ eyes. “Kala mo ba ikaw lang magaling sa mga ganong linyahan?”
“Mahal kita, Mavis. Alam mo ba ‘yun?” said Cameron, the feeling in her chest light and peaceful and pulling, and it’s all directed to the woman in front of her. Then, a tad bit breathlessly, she repeated, “Mahal kita.”
“I know. Ramdam ko 'yun palagi. Mas mahal kita, Cam. Hayaan mo 'kong alagaan ka,” Mavis said back, her smile just as endearing as Cameron’s. She rose a bit on her toes, pressing a quick kiss on Cameron’s lips before pinching at her cheek. “Halika na, nagugutom na ako.”
Cameron chuckled, tugging at Mavis’ hand that was around hers. “Sabi ko nga eh. Tara na.”
And together, they continued their stroll around the sidewalk, hand-in-hand and snuggly close.
Cameron still didn’t like the cold, probably by a long shot. But if this was the warmth—in the form of the breathtaking and wonderful woman beside her—she’d get to have whenever the weather lowered, then she would welcome it with open arms, hold onto it, and never let it go.