Chapter 4
As students flooded out of the Great Hall after dinner, the noise and bustle filled the main corridor. Laughter and chatter echoed off the stone walls, creating a perfect backdrop for the Marauders’ latest prank. They lounged casually by an archway, trying to appear inconspicuous despite the barely contained excitement in their eyes.
Suddenly, the suits of armor lining the corridor sprang to life, each one jolting upright and marching in unison.
“Behold!” one suit bellowed, its voice surprisingly high-pitched. “Beware of rogue teapots!”
“What?” a Hufflepuff first-year gaped, looking up at the suit of armor. “Rogue teapots?”
Another suit clanked its visor shut and announced in a dramatic baritone, “Only the bravest shall survive… the killer cheese!”
“Wait, what does that even mean?” a Ravenclaw exclaimed, glancing at her friend, who shrugged in confusion.
The third suit chimed in, “This is an official Hogwarts emergency! Protect your socks at all costs!”
Around the corner, James stifled a laugh, elbowing Sirius. “You’ve really outdone yourself. They’re like metal Shakespeare rejects.”
Sirius feigned a deep, grave voice to match the armor. “They call it the tragedy of lost socks! I expect applause.”
Nearby, a second-year Gryffindor looked bewildered, glancing nervously at her friends. “Are we supposed to be scared of the cheese?”
One of the older students scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Don’t you know? That’s what happens when the Marauders get bored. Just wait until they release the enchanted cushions next.”
A chorus of laughter erupted from the crowd as the enchanted suits continued their antics, clanking together in time. James and Sirius exchanged glances, their eyes sparkling with mischief.
Suddenly, enchanted fireworks exploded above the throng, scattering sparkles that formed phrases like “FREE KETTLES IN THE LIBRARY!” and “CAUTION: INVISIBLE HINKY-PUNKS LOOSE IN THE DUNGEONS!”
“What in Merlin’s name is happening?” a first-year squeaked, spinning around in circles as quills darted past him, tickling his ear.
“Relax,” a seventh-year Gryffindor chuckled, watching the spectacle unfold with a mix of amusement and exasperation. “You’re witnessing a classic Marauder masterpiece. They’ve been perfecting this kind of chaos for years.”
The quills, conjured by James, continued their playful assault, swooping down and tickling students’ necks, vanishing just before anyone could swat them away. “They need to invest in some better target practice,” a fifth-year Slytherin grumbled, trying to swat at the feathers.
“Are you kidding?” a nearby Gryffindor chimed in, grinning. “This is the best thing that’s happened since they turned the Potions classroom into a swamp!”
Remus caught Sirius’s eye amidst the chaos and couldn’t help but laugh. “You really went all out with this one, didn’t you?”
Sirius shrugged, feigning nonchalance while a smirk danced on his lips. “Only the best for our last year. Wouldn’t want you to leave Hogwarts without fond memories of my genius.”
Remus leaned closer, his breath brushing against Sirius’s ear. “You mean the fond memories of the inevitable detentions we’ll all be serving?”
Sirius turned his head, their faces inches apart. “Ah, but what’s a little detention when we have each other?”
Before Remus could respond, a suit of armor turned to the crowd, lifting its arm in a slow, creaky salute. “Welcome to the evening’s entertainment, courtesy of the Marauders, Hogwarts’ finest fools!”
The students erupted in applause, some cheering and others whistling, as Peeves continued his chaotic dance. “Oh, come on!” a disgruntled Ravenclaw snapped, wiping ink off her nose. “Is this really necessary?”
Sirius overheard and called back with a smirk, “Absolutely essential, darling. School spirit and all that.”
As if on cue, another suit of armor piped up, “Fear the invisible mandrakes! Their shrieks can be heard only by professors!”
A passing prefect tried to look stern, though the corners of his mouth were twitching. “Alright, alright, you’ve had your fun. Can we all get back to our dorms in one piece?”
Peeves, of course, had no intention of stopping. He zoomed by, tossing glitter and ink over the prefect’s head. “Peeves is only getting started!”
A group of first-years watched, wide-eyed. “Who is that?” one whispered, pointing at the poltergeist.
“The one and only Peeves!” an older student explained. “You’ll get used to him… or you won’t. Either way, welcome to Hogwarts!”
James stole a glance down the hall where Regulus had stopped, arms crossed, his face shadowed but unmistakably amused by the chaos. Their eyes locked, and for a brief moment, James felt the cold thrill of recognition—before he turned away, pulse thudding. He hoped none of the others had noticed.
“You think he’s just watching?” Remus murmured tensely, voice low. “Or does he have some plan to get involved?”
James snorted, though his laugh was forced. “I’m surprised he hasn’t hexed us on sight.”
“Or worse,” Sirius added, his voice sharp, a bitter edge creeping in. His gaze didn’t waver from Regulus. “The little snake probably enjoys watching the show, waiting for just the right moment to twist the knife. It’s his specialty, you know—waiting till you’re vulnerable.”
James couldn’t miss the flicker of pain behind Sirius’s words, a rawness that made him falter. He risked another glance at Regulus, who was now leaning against the wall, chatting with a group of Slytherins. The faint smirk on his face was a slash of amusement that felt just a little too targeted. “Yeah, well, he’s definitely taking mental notes.”
Remus sighed, trying to break the tension. “Look, if Regulus actually wanted revenge, we wouldn’t even see it coming. That’s the Black family way, isn’t it? Quiet, careful, merciless.”
“You forgot that they’re all completely fucking psycho.” Sirius replied, his voice a low growl. He didn’t take his eyes off his brother, the weight of resentment almost tangible. “They like to pretend they’re too good to get their hands dirty, but the knives are always ready. They’ll cut you down before you even realize you’ve been betrayed.”
The bitterness in Sirius’s tone left an uneasy silence between them. James wanted to lighten things up, but the words felt hollow in his mouth. “Guess it’s good we’re all still standing then.”
“Are we, though?” Sirius muttered, gaze distant. “Sometimes I wonder if they’ve already won… Regulus and the whole bloody family. Turning us into shadows of ourselves.”
Remus reached over and gave Sirius’s shoulder a firm squeeze. “They don’t get to decide who you are, Sirius. You’re stronger than they ever will be.”
Sirius forced a cold, empty laugh. “Strength. Right. They’d rather watch us bleed than admit there’s more to life than their warped idea of loyalty. But Regulus? He’s worse than all of them. A coward hiding behind his smirks and Slytherin plots.”
James shifted uncomfortably, unable to shake the tension in the air. “You don’t have to do this, Sirius. Not with him.”
Sirius’s gaze lingered on Regulus one last time, a hardened glare before he turned his back on his brother, jaw set. “No, you’re right. I don’t have to. And he doesn’t deserve even that much.”
They all fell silent as the distance grew between them and Regulus, a feeling of unresolved hurt and anger thickening the air. And as they moved on, James couldn’t help but wonder what would become of the bond between these two brothers—one built on blood, but fractured by the choices they had made.
As the noise of the prank grew louder, the enchanted armors rambled on about “invisible Hinky-Punks” and “free socks in the dungeons.” Laughter erupted again when one armor tipped over, its helmet falling off and rolling away.
“Is that a sock?” a first-year yelled, pointing.
“No, it’s a helmet! Get it right!” an older Gryffindor shouted back, laughing.
Sirius leaned in closer to Remus, his expression softening. “You know, I’m glad you’re here to witness this with me.”
Remus raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile on his lips. “Glad? Or just using me as a distraction?”
“Why not both?” Sirius shot back with a wink. “I mean, who else would I share my brilliance with?”
“Brilliance?” Remus replied, an amused glint in his eyes. “You mean mayhem? Because that’s certainly what this is.”
Sirius’s laughter echoed as he leaned closer, the two of them caught in their own bubble despite the chaos around them. “Admit it, Moony. You love it. You’d be bored to tears without me.”
“Alright, fine,” Remus conceded, a genuine smile breaking through. “It is entertaining, I suppose. But next time, let’s keep the suits of armor out of it.”
“Deal,” Sirius said, his gaze lingering a bit too long. “Though, if we can’t have suits of armor, what’s next? Enchanted brooms? Dancing tables? A school-wide scavenger hunt for lost items?”
“Maybe just a little less chaos, hmm?” Remus countered, laughter dancing in his eyes.
As students continued to laugh and shout, Peeves zoomed by again, now launching himself into a dramatic rendition of “The Ballad of the Bewitched Broomsticks.” His chaotic flailing sent more ink flying, splattering students and causing fresh rounds of laughter.
“Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this,” a second-year Gryffindor laughed, shaking his head as he tried to wipe ink from his shirt. “Do they always cause this much trouble?”
“Only on special occasions,” an older student replied, grinning. “And just when you think they’ve hit their peak, they find a way to surprise everyone.”
The crowd grew as more students flocked to witness the madness, the corridor teeming with excitement. The suits of armor continued to clank about, with each declaration getting more ridiculous.
“Beware the cursed crumpets!” one shouted, while another declared, “Hide your trousers! The pixies are plotting!”
“Alright, that’s it!” a third-year yelled, feigning panic. “I’m hiding under the nearest table!”
“You’re safe there,” a friend shot back, laughter bubbling over. “That’s where the socks usually end up!”
As the chaos continued in the Great Hall, ink splatters and water balloons flew through the air, laughter mingling with shrieks of surprise. Students dodged and ducked, trying to avoid becoming collateral damage in the Marauders' elaborate prank.
“Did you see Peeves?” James chuckled, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. “He nearly fell through the ceiling when the first wave of ink hit!”
“Classic!” Sirius agreed, smirking. “But you know what? We really should’ve anticipated the retaliation from the second-years. They’ve been plotting something fierce!”
Just then, a shriek echoed through the hall as a group of Gryffindor girls dashed past, their hair dripping and squeals filling the air. A bucket of water had been unleashed, and it was clear they were not happy campers.
“Run for your lives!” one of them yelled, laughter bubbling into the chaos. “It’s the Marauders’ fault!”
“Guilty as charged!” Sirius shouted back, his grin wide. He nudged James playfully. “I’d say that was a successful distraction!”
“Yeah, but we should probably make ourselves scarce before we become the next targets,” James suggested, his eyes scanning the crowd.
Remus, who was standing right beside them, rolled his eyes but couldn't hide his smirk. “And where exactly do you plan on hiding? This is the Great Hall, not a closet.”
“Cloak of invisibility?” James suggested, grinning.
“Sure, and we’ll just vanish into thin air,” Remus retorted, arms crossed. “But we can’t let them catch us! We need a strategic retreat!”
Suddenly, the doors of the Great Hall swung open, and in strode Argus Filch, his expression a mix of bewilderment and fury. “What in Merlin's name is going on here?!” he bellowed, his gaze sweeping over the pandemonium. Ink and water splattered everywhere, and the noise reached a fever pitch.
“Looks like we’re about to be discovered!” Sirius hissed, nudging Remus as he and James exchanged worried glances.
“Everyone scatter!” James shouted, but his voice was lost in the chaos as students rushed toward the exits, laughter echoing through the hall.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” Filch continued, eyes wide as he pointed at a group of second-years caught mid-laugh, their faces smeared with ink. “You’ll all be scrubbing the floors for this!”
“Yeah, right! You wouldn’t even know who to punish!” a bold fourth-year shot back, her voice laced with bravado.
Sirius leaned closer to Remus, a teasing grin on his face. “You think Filch can handle this level of chaos?”
“I doubt he even knows what hit him,” Remus whispered back, trying to stifle his laughter.
Filch, flustered, turned toward Peeves, who was zooming overhead, cackling with delight. “You too, you little troublemaker! This is your doing!”
Peeves swooped down, looking positively gleeful. “Oh, but it’s such fun, Filchy! You should join in!” He released a balloon filled with confetti, exploding it in Filch’s direction.
Filch’s eyes bulged as he spluttered, shaking his fist. “You’ll pay for this, Peeves! All of you!”
Meanwhile, the Great Hall was filled with jubilant chaos, students darting past each other, laughter ringing out like a symphony of rebellion. As Filch chased after the students, trying to impose order, Sirius and Remus shared a knowing glance.
“Shall we make our escape?” Remus suggested, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Definitely,” Sirius replied, nudging James. “Come on, before he decides to hex us.”
The trio slipped toward the entrance, narrowly dodging another wave of water balloons launched by an overzealous first-year. Just as they reached the door, the ink splatters still shimmering like confetti around them, a final balloon exploded directly above Filch, showering him in a cascade of color.
The hall erupted in laughter, and James couldn’t help but call back, “Good luck cleaning that up, Filch!”
As they burst out of the Great Hall into the corridor, still breathless with laughter, the energy of their prank lingered in the air.
“Best night ever!” Sirius declared, his voice ringing with excitement.
“Next time, I’m bringing the bigger balloons!” James chimed in, still buzzing from the adrenaline.
With the echoes of laughter trailing behind them, the Marauders embraced the absurdity of it all, ready for whatever wild adventure awaited them next